jnaisi

Hello I am new here.. My name is Robyn and I am seriously considering
unschooling my oldest child, Nate. I do have 3 children but wanted to
try unschooling with my oldest first.

Nate is a beautiful child.. He is so loving and caring. Nate is also
Bipolar and has Asperger's along with ADD/ADHD and Anxiety. This has
made school difficult. His social skills are very delayed. He is
socially 5 or 6 years old. Emotionally is about the same as well..
Nate is 11 years old.

He is very intelligent and has an awesome visual memory. He hasnt
been able to grasp abstract or metophoric thinking yet.. He doesnt
understand humor and uses words improperly when trying to hold
conversations.

This school year has been a huge disappointment.. Not in my Nate but
in the school he goes to. He has maintained a D/U average all year.
The school doesn't even care atleast not in my opinion. They are just
happy he isnt disrupting the classroom with crying, biting himself or
the such. It doesn't matter that he has failed everything.

As a result, I have decided it would be best if I taught him myself.
This way I can give him tons of one on one learning. I can provide
him with a learning experience that would benefit him the most. I am
thinking alot of visual learning. Maybe with the use of alot of
videos and pictures. Also alot of hands on training..

I am hoping to learn as much as I can and get as much help as I can to
make this experience a successful one for both Nate and myself.

Meredith

Hi Robyn. Have you checked out any of the informational sites on
unschooling? Here are some places to start:

http://organiclearning.org/
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

there are lots of links at both to other unschooling sites, message
boards and blogs.

I also recommend this essay by Anne Ohman

http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/anneo/I_Am_What_I_Am.htm

Its a good look at the kind of mental shift involved in unschooling an
atypical kid - or any kid, really. Its a fabulous essay on many
levels.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)

Jody

Hi Robyn.

Your post hit me right in the heart because my son, now 12, also has
Asperger's (very mild form), OCD, and HAD anxiety issues, and when
he was in school he was so miserable it got to the point where he
was suicidal. (I emphasized he "had" anxiety because as soon as I
pulled him out of school his anxiety diminished, then disappeared
altogether.) My DS had such a difficult time socially, it broke my
heart. He just did not fit in socially, but he is very, very
bright, more mature in many ways than his peers. Socially, he gets
along better with kids that are either older or younger than he is,
and to be holed up in a classroom with kids his own age all day
every day who just did not "get" him was a nightmare for him. We
pulled him out of school in the 5th grade (1.5 years ago), tried
homeschooling for a while, but that didn't work, and we are now
pretty much radical unschoolers and I have never seen him happier.
He's still in the DEschooling process, healing the wounds inflicted
while in school, but he is SO much better off. I have no doubts
that pulling him from the PS system was the best thing for him, and
I only regret that I didn't do it sooner. A child that
is "different", as yours and mine are, need to be sheltered from the
cruelties that go on in schools, and they need to be with someone
who understands their way of thinking, and supported and loved in
every way possible. So take it or leave it, but my advice, which
comes straight from my heart, is to please remove your son from
school before even more damage is done. (Can you tell I feel
incredibly strong about this?) =)

With joy,
Jody
Momma to Riley (12)

--- In [email protected], "jnaisi"
<robyn.bentley@...> wrote:
>
> Hello I am new here.. My name is Robyn and I am seriously
considering
> unschooling my oldest child, Nate.

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: robyn.bentley@...

It doesn't matter that he has failed everything.

-=-=-=-

I'll tell you what my friend's father told her: "F" is for FANTASTIC,
my dear! <bwg>

-=-=-=-=-

As a result, I have decided it would be best if I taught him myself.

-=-=-=-=-

Step one: Drop school-think. Try this instead:

"As a result, I have decided it would be best if I help him learn."

-=-=-=-=-

This way I can give him tons of one on one learning. I can provide
him with a learning experience that would benefit him the most. I am
thinking alot of visual learning. Maybe with the use of alot of
videos and pictures.

-=-=-=-

ALL good. We learn the way that's best for us.

-=-=-=-=-

Also alot of hands on training..

-=-=-=-=-

Let's try simply "hands-on *learning*" instead. Leave the training for
your dog! <bwg>

-=-=-=-=-

I am hoping to learn as much as I can and get as much help as I can to
make this experience a successful one for both Nate and myself.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Robyn, I just sent your SOS membership confirmation and will get the
cards and letter to you in tomorrow's mail (Robyn lives in SC). We have
ANOTHER Robin Bentley on this list---a long-time unschooler---who can
answer some of your questions. It'll be like one letter (i-y) from
talking to yourself! <G>

I'd like to suggest that you look into another e-list as well---it's a
*very* busy one---called SHINEwithUnschooling@yahoo..... There are many
parents of aspie/highly sensitive kids on that list. It was originally
formed for that purpose but has morphed into *all* unschoolers. But it
has a lot of aspie/sensitive talk on it. We'd like to keep you *here*
too, but I think they would have a lot to share with you there as well.

My youngest is 11 too. Let me know whenever you're in the Columbia area!

Consider the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference in Asheville, NC
this September. 700 or so unschoolers in one place! Magical!



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


________________________________________________________________________
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Su Penn

On Apr 26, 2007, at 1:34 AM, kbcdlovejo@... wrote:

> -----Original Message-----
> From: robyn.bentley@...
>
> It doesn't matter that he has failed everything.
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> I'll tell you what my friend's father told her: "F" is for FANTASTIC,
> my dear! <bwg>

In Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Tom Robbins writes something like,
"In fact, it's possible to make too much of success. Success closes
off as many options as failure." And it's really true! That has
stayed with me for more than 20 years since I read that book.

Some examples include, when a relationship of mine failed, my partner
realized it was an opportunity to do something he couldn't have done
if he stayed with me: move to San Francisco for awhile (we're still
best friends 16 years later, so it wasn't a total failure).

And I just spent a Sunday with an old friend from high school and
college. She and her husband both finished college in 4 years and got
Ph. D.s in another four. He's a nuclear physicist, which pays quite
well, but there aren't a whole lot of things you can do with a degree
in nuclear physics. He has never had a job he enjoyed or that didn't
take him away from his family more than they wanted, in the sixteen
years since they got their degrees. My friend said, "We basically
live for vacations now, and we've decided to make early retirement a
goal, so we're saving a lot." In her own words, it's sad.

Heck, she even sometimes questions whether the success of their
relationship has limited them. They met our first night in the dorm,
were each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend at age 17, and have
been together ever since. They're very happily married but neither of
them has ever been single and independent, or so much as kissed
another person.

And for me: I thought about doing a EurailPass around Europe after I
graduated from college. But I got a big fellowship to grad school and
didn't do it. Grad school sucked. I'd probably have been really
disappointed not to get into grad school, but in the long run I'd
probably have happier memories of a summer in Europe than I do of my
first attempt at grad school!

Su

Robin Bentley

Kelly wrote:

Robyn, I just sent your SOS membership confirmation and will get the
cards and letter to you in tomorrow's mail (Robyn lives in SC). We have
ANOTHER Robin Bentley on this list---a long-time unschooler---who can
answer some of your questions. It'll be like one letter (i-y) from
talking to yourself! <G>

***

Ack, I've been outed! And I just joined, after Kelly told me you were
here...

Robyn, I'd be happy to be your further-along-the-path alter ego (though I'm
still learning, too).

***

I'd like to suggest that you look into another e-list as well---it's a
*very* busy one---called SHINEwithUnschooling@yahoo..... There are many
parents of aspie/highly sensitive kids on that list. It was originally
formed for that purpose but has morphed into *all* unschoolers. But it
has a lot of aspie/sensitive talk on it. We'd like to keep you *here*
too, but I think they would have a lot to share with you there as well.

***

The SHINE list is a source of inspiration for me. My daughter (12) is a
shine-y soul, whose life would be miserable in school (or with any kind of
coerced learning). I learned early on that not only was that kind of thing
wrong for her, it was wrong for me, too. The folks on SHINE,
UnschoolingDiscussion, AlwaysLearning (and some particularly wise women on
the first homeschooling list I joined in Canada) continue to confirm and
encourage my belief that it is my *relationship* with my child that counts
the most. I don't want to do anything that gets in the way of that.

***

Consider the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference in Asheville, NC
this September. 700 or so unschoolers in one place! Magical!

***

Yes, yes, yes! If there is any place that a shine-y kid can blossom, be
accepted as they are by adults and kids alike, it's at an unschooling
conference. And *you* will get plenty of support IRL for following this
path with your son (and your other children, too).

You may find that your son's anxiety diminishes, as his social skills and
learning unfold on *his* schedule. Honoring his timetable though
unschooling can only help.

So, ask away on any or all lists you join. Many, many astute unschoolers
will be happy to help and/or challenge your thinking. And welcome to this
great life.

Robin Bentley
Issaquah, WA

kel9769

--- In [email protected], Su Penn <supenn@...> wrote:
>
>
> On Apr 26, 2007, at 1:34 AM, kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: robyn.bentley@...
> >
> > It doesn't matter that he has failed everything.
> >
Hi Robyn
I took my beautiful, talented 14yo dd out of school this past
February after a team meeting at the school where I was told by
7 "professionals" that I was setting my daughter up for failure.
They felt she couldn't be successful in PS and I should let her be
assessed to put in an alternative program for high school. My girl
has struggled with anxiety issues throughout school and middle
school became a nightmare. She was threatened & bullied, she gained
40lbs and started failing all her classes. What I told the experts
that day was there is no shame in failing, at least it means you
tried. I believe every experience in life is positive as long as
you learned from it. I only regret that I didn't have the courage
sooner to take her out of school. Three months later dd has chosen
to become a vegetarian & has started swimming, playing Dance Dance
Revolution and walking. She has started to lose some weight but
more importantly she holds her head up more and her eyes are
bright. She is happier and healthier. That's enough for me. I
have faith in her to find her own way and I will help her as much as
she needs me to.
Kelly

Nicole Willoughby

Robyn, I just sent your SOS membership confirmation and will get the
cards and letter to you in tomorrow's mail>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What is SOS?

Nicole


---------------------------------
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Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: cncnawilloughby@...

Robyn, I just sent your SOS membership confirmation and will get the
cards and letter to you in tomorrow's mail>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What is SOS?

Nicole

-=--=--=--=-=----=-=-=-=-

Sorry. SOS is short for School's Out Support, a statewide support group
for unschoolers in SC. It's also become an accountability association
for homeshcoolers in SC this year. It also was the fisrt host of the
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference in 2001.

Nothing out-of-staters need to worry about! <g>

But you *might* want to check out the upcoming conference!

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.

Nicole Willoughby

Nothing out-of-staters need to worry about! <go

Do you know of any IRL support groups for the Dallas, north of dallas ( Im about 70 miles north of) TX area?

But you *might* want to check out the upcoming conference!>>>>

Ive looked at the website . Ive Drooled over it lol! but

1. there is no way it will be financially possible this year

2. i have a severly autistic 5 year old . He runs away if I let go of him for a second, he screams what seems like constantly , i feel like he would disturb everyone way to much if I tried to take him in with me to listen to anyone speak. Even if I choose to just go up there and hang out with everyone but not listen to anyone speak im just not sure Id be comfortable driving that far with 3 kids under 8 . Dh just started this job and wouldnt be able to get the time off. I havent been able to find anyone willing to watch him for a few hours much less a few days and he really needs to be with mom anyway.
Dh isnt nearly as into unschooling as i am ( thats a whole nother post) so even if there was a way we could afford it talking him into spending the money would be difficult.

3. Despite all that I still Really want to go so im going to just cry now :(

nicole



---------------------------------
Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~ so even if there was a way we could afford it talking him into
spending the money would be difficult.~~

Are you the one in Dallas Nichole? Because if you are, take a day and
go to the Rethinking Education conference right in your own town!
Save some money and still hear a few speakers.:)

If you make it, I'll see you there.
http://www.rethinkingeducation.com/

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: cncnawilloughby@...

Do you know of any IRL support groups for the Dallas, north of dallas
( Im
about 70 miles north of) TX area?

-=-=-=-=-

Ask and it shall be given:

I just a got an email TODAY from Leslie Harris in Dallas. She has a
group!


"Hi, Kelly ~

I own/moderate a progressive, secular, unschooling list in North
Texas. We have a couple hundred members now"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-


But you *might* want to check out the upcoming conference!>>>>

Ive looked at the website . Ive Drooled over it lol! but

1. there is no way it will be financially possible this year

-=-=-=-=-

Of course I'd rather have you come to L&L, but Rethinking Education is
just down the road from you! The weekend before the L&L conference.
It's a little different, but still an unschooling conference! Ren and
Tracy will be there. Check it out!

-=-=-=-=-==-

2. i have a severly autistic 5 year old . He runs away if I let go of
him for
a second, he screams what seems like constantly , i feel like he would
disturb
everyone way to much if I tried to take him in with me to listen to
anyone
speak. Even if I choose to just go up there and hang out with everyone
but not
listen to anyone speak im just not sure Id be comfortable driving that
far with
3 kids under 8 . Dh just started this job and wouldnt be able to get
the time
off. I havent been able to find anyone willing to watch him for a few
hours much
less a few days and he really needs to be with mom anyway.

-=-=-=-=-

Unschooling conferences are sooo different. That's "normal" behavior at
an unschooling conference---or at least, not ABnormal! <G> Each child
is an individual and isn't expected to be "adult-like" for several more
years! <g>

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dh isnt nearly as into unschooling as i am ( thats a whole nother
post) so
even if there was a way we could afford it talking him into spending
the money
would be difficult.

-=-=-=-=-

Yeah, but husband's come on board SO much more quickly after actually
*witnessing* a bunch of unschoolers---especially the teens!

-=-=-=-=-=-

3. Despite all that I still Really want to go so im going to just cry
now :(

-=-=-=-

Don't cry---find a way ! Google Rethinking Education---and look for
Leslie to come by and give you her group's info!




~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org



________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.

Melissa

Nicole,
i wanted to second what Kelly is saying about autistic behavior. Last year was our first
conference, and I was still very tender about how my autistic child would be received. Most
likely I was scared to get the same condemnation I get daily as I go to the store or mall or
park, etc (I know you know what I mean) I asked online if anyone wanted information and
got the same response. I didn't quite trust it, and tried to be open at the conference but
was really still scared of getting hurt, or Bre getting hurt, emotionally.

However it was AMAZING. It was so cool to have people who've never met her be so open
and able to communicate with her as she is, without expecting her to be something she's
not. She had a GREAT time, lots of fun, really bloomed and did a lot of neat stuff. She still
talks about it (in her own little ways) and is excited about this years conference. Of course,
she doesn't understand it won't be at the same place, but I know that when we get there
we'll do great. When she started stimming once, I'll never forget this, a child of about six
or so started doing it with her, stopped and said, "Yeah, i see it" and walked off. Too cool.

Don't live your life in fear of autism world. Your kiddo will continue to grow and be
amazing, and I'll bet that with some preparation you could really do great at the RE
conference. They still have scholarships too, if you called who knows what you could get.

Melissa
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
> Unschooling conferences are sooo different. That's "normal" behavior at
> an unschooling conference---or at least, not ABnormal! <G> Each child
> is an individual and isn't expected to be "adult-like" for several more
> years! <g>
>

Suzan Dees

Hi Nicole,

I am also North Dallas, not as north as you. *waves*

I would love to find an unschooling local support group as well. (hint hint)
I have not made the plunge yet, but I am leaning that direction and find the
support and knowledge on this board indispensable.

I have only been homeschooling for two years and can see that my children
learn so much more when I just shut up and let their interests guide them.
It's funny how that works.

I am glad to know that I am not crazy. My homeschool support group is
amazing, but I don't see any other unschoolers. I want to be able to talk to
people who understand what it is that I am *trying* to do when it gets
difficult and I want to throw in the towel and break out the workbooks.
Guess this turned into my introduction to the group. :-)


Suzan


On 4/26/07, Melissa <autismhelp@...> wrote:
>
> Nicole,
> i wanted to second what Kelly is saying about autistic behavior. Last year
> was our first
> conference, and I was still very tender about how my autistic child would
> be received. Most
> likely I was scared to get the same condemnation I get daily as I go to
> the store or mall or
> park, etc (I know you know what I mean) I asked online if anyone wanted
> information and
> got the same response. I didn't quite trust it, and tried to be open at
> the conference but
> was really still scared of getting hurt, or Bre getting hurt, emotionally.
>
>
> However it was AMAZING. It was so cool to have people who've never met her
> be so open
> and able to communicate with her as she is, without expecting her to be
> something she's
> not. She had a GREAT time, lots of fun, really bloomed and did a lot of
> neat stuff. She still
> talks about it (in her own little ways) and is excited about this years
> conference. Of course,
> she doesn't understand it won't be at the same place, but I know that when
> we get there
> we'll do great. When she started stimming once, I'll never forget this, a
> child of about six
> or so started doing it with her, stopped and said, "Yeah, i see it" and
> walked off. Too cool.
>
> Don't live your life in fear of autism world. Your kiddo will continue to
> grow and be
> amazing, and I'll bet that with some preparation you could really do great
> at the RE
> conference. They still have scholarships too, if you called who knows what
> you could get.
>
> Melissa
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> >
> > Unschooling conferences are sooo different. That's "normal" behavior at
> > an unschooling conference---or at least, not ABnormal! <G> Each child
> > is an individual and isn't expected to be "adult-like" for several more
> > years! <g>
> >
>
>
>



--
~Suzan Dees~

A small glimpse into our fabulous lives.
http://suzandees.googlepages.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nicole Willoughby

I am also North Dallas, not as north as you. *waves*>>>>>>>>

<bhg> really ! ??....plano?richardson? mckinney?......Im in Sherman so its really not 80 miles its 58 from the begining of hwy 75north :)

How old are your kiddos?


>>>>My homeschool support group is
amazing, but I don't see any other unschoolers. I want to be able to talk to
people who understand what it is that I am *trying* to do when it gets
difficult and I want to throw in the towel and break out the workbooks.
Guess this turned into my introduction to the group. :-)
>>>

This makes me think of a very short lived conversation i had earlier today.
me: i just found out they are having a rethinking education conference in dallas ..its an unschooling conference..insert definition
friend( who is highly supportive of homeschooling but stuck on school in a box) : yes! they need to rething education ....throw out the horrible curriculum they have here and get a better one and move to schooling year round for all these working parents.
I wont bore you with anymore ..it ended with me wanting to stab an eyeball. :)

But I think often unschoolers dont make themselves know because there will be few that "get them" and many against them ...or the idea at least.

I have a LOT of trouble not becoming frustrated and being harsh with my kids and I too sometimes want to just break out the workbooks ....usualy short lived because not doing workbooks is so much more fun :). I certainly wont try to tell you workbooks and more structure will fix things though :)

Welcome to the group!

Nicole


---------------------------------
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Check outnew cars at Yahoo! Autos.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]