Leslie Kowalski

Thank you for all the posts about this issue. I am not so much
thinking that I want Paige to understand time (because I know it's a
concept that only comes when it comes - although I love the ideas
that you all gave (giving a watch, talking about other timed events
in relationship to what we are doing, not anticipating what she is
afraid of and answering questions more generally - these will all
help!)), but that I can see that the fears that one child has greatly
impacts what the other child can/can not do at that moment in time.

I've been trying to talk to them (at calm moments) about fears in
general, and about how each person fears something different, and
that all fears are important and that we can help people when they
have them.

But my girls' fears are very intense (for Tess it's part of her TS,
for Paige it's reminding me of how Tess's TS started), that when they
crop up, we usually have no option other than to leave somewhere (a
park that Paige is having fun at because Tess sees a bee, a concert
that Tess wants to hang around at the end of (to see the singer in
the lobby) but can't because Paige HAS to get out of the theatre
before it "closes"). So then each one feels resentful of the other
when this happens. I try to help with problem solving when it
happens, but I think we all feel overwhelmed (including me, because I
can so easily go into "project into the future" mode and react as if
they will never be able to leave the house in their lives!).

Leslie (in NJ)




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Kelly Weyd

Leslie,
My daughter also has TS (amoung other things). Do you think your daughter has some type of Anxiety Disorder? So many of these disorders run in families or have co-mingling conditions.
kelly

Leslie Kowalski <lrkowalski@...> wrote:
Thank you for all the posts about this issue. I am not so much
thinking that I want Paige to understand time (because I know it's a
concept that only comes when it comes - although I love the ideas
that you all gave (giving a watch, talking about other timed events
in relationship to what we are doing, not anticipating what she is
afraid of and answering questions more generally - these will all
help!)), but that I can see that the fears that one child has greatly
impacts what the other child can/can not do at that moment in time.

I've been trying to talk to them (at calm moments) about fears in
general, and about how each person fears something different, and
that all fears are important and that we can help people when they
have them.

But my girls' fears are very intense (for Tess it's part of her TS,
for Paige it's reminding me of how Tess's TS started), that when they
crop up, we usually have no option other than to leave somewhere (a
park that Paige is having fun at because Tess sees a bee, a concert
that Tess wants to hang around at the end of (to see the singer in
the lobby) but can't because Paige HAS to get out of the theatre
before it "closes"). So then each one feels resentful of the other
when this happens. I try to help with problem solving when it
happens, but I think we all feel overwhelmed (including me, because I
can so easily go into "project into the future" mode and react as if
they will never be able to leave the house in their lives!).

Leslie (in NJ)

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