Katharine Wise

This strikes me as a strange question, but does anyone have any experience getting glasses in a non-coercive manner for a youngish (7yo) child who doesn't want them?

My son couldn't read the bottom 5 lines (out of 10?) on the wall chart at his check-up. I explained later, in a very low-key manner, that that indicated that we should see an eye-doctor to get glasses. That with glasses he would find that things that are hard to see or blurry now we be clear for him. He said, "No."

I've made an appointment for both us -- me first (I'm way overdue for a eye exam anyway) and then him right after. Just knowing his personality (very shy, resists going new places or places with lots of people), it will take some coaxing to even get him into the office with me although I think he'll cooperate for the exam. I'd like to just get the glasses and suggest he try them frequently without constantly nagging him, but I guess I'm a little leary -- concerned he'll just refuse and not ever learn how much easier it is to see with them unless we insist he wear them. That if we set a precedent of not insisting...

Okay, I have to admit that even typing this out I'm beginning to think it's ludicrous. Of course, in time, he'll come to realize he can see better with them. In time, he'll get used to them. And even if I pay for glasses he hardly ever wears at this age, why is my nagging him into wearing them an improvement? But I'd still be interested in others' experiences!

Katharine





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Genevieve Labonte

After writing our experience, I realise that we didn't have much problem
getting him there, and getting the exam :-) Have him come in *with*
you, to see your exam. If he doesn't want to that day, wait. If it's
not bugging him, he won't find the need for them. If he comments about
things he doesn't see that others do, explain to him the role of the
glasses, ask if he'd like an appointment to see if he needs glasses,
etc... If he doesn't want them, he won't want to wear them, even if he
sees better with them on. Eventually, he *might* get the advantages,
but until he's ready, he won't see it...



With my oldest, the only one who does need glasses, we didn't have any
problems with the eye doctor. When he got his glasses things were OK,
although he didn't understand *why* he needed those glasses...
farsighted? --> NOt sure about the traduction here... Anyways. He'd
wear them some, lose them, we'd find them again lost them again, etc...
We talked about the difference between both eyes that was the major
concern for the glasses in the first place. After 2 lost pairs, I
talked with him about seeing a holistic eye doctor, that uses exercises
and other stuff to correct the problem instead of glasses. He was
willing to go, and this doctor (really, really nice!) explained to HIM
why he needs glasses, what are his eye "problems" etc... Felix
explained why he didn't like glasses. He now has contact lenses that he
wears when he remembers or feels like it. The doctor knows that the
frequency isn't great, but he's OK with it.

Genevieve, mom to 4 boys...








.

<http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714/grpId=12789513/grpspId=1705081972/
msgId=21154/stime=1170368955/nc1=1/nc2=2/nc3=3> This strikes me as a
strange question, but does anyone have any experience getting glasses in
a non-coercive manner for a youngish (7yo) child who doesn't want them?

Okay, I have to admit that even typing this out I'm beginning to think
it's ludicrous. Of course, in time, he'll come to realize he can see
better with them. In time, he'll get used to them. And even if I pay for
glasses he hardly ever wears at this age, why is my nagging him into
wearing them an improvement? But I'd still be interested in others'
experiences!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Feb 1, 2007, at 2:14 PM, Katharine Wise wrote:

> This strikes me as a strange question, but does anyone have any
> experience getting glasses in a non-coercive manner for a youngish
> (7yo) child who doesn't want them?

What does he need glasses for?

Is he playing sports? Reading subtitles at the movies? Driving?

I often wander around the house without my glasses. I put them on to
watch TV and when I leave the house.

If he does play sports in the future or has to sit too close to the
TV (while playing video games and crowding out the other kids for
instance) and doesn't quite get the connection of how much better
he'll see with glasses -- blurry will just be normal to him! -- you
can ask him to do you the favor of letting you get them for him so
he can try out the difference.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Susan

> This strikes me as a strange question, but does anyone have any experience getting glasses in a non-coercive manner for a youngish (7yo) child who doesn't want them? <snip>
> Okay, I have to admit that even typing this out I'm beginning to think it's ludicrous. Of course, in time, he'll come to realize he can see better with them. In time, he'll get used to them. And even if I pay for glasses he hardly ever wears at this age, why is my nagging him into wearing them an improvement? But I'd still be interested in others' experiences!

I can't give you parent's perspective, but I can tell you that when I
was little (maybe age 5) I needed glasses and my parents bought them
for me. I wore them on and off for about a year, at first I thought
they were kind of cool but that novelty wore off pretty fast and I
began to wear them less and less until eventually I just stopped. For
about six years I didn't use glasses at all - it wasn't until age 12
or so that *I* felt the need for them.

Until that point I was able to read and see okay, I just sat close to
the tv or held the book against my face, lol, but to me that was
better than wearing glasses. When I was 12 I began to notice a big
difference in my eyesight - I've heard puberty can cause this - and so
I voluntarily got glasses. At 15 I switched to contacts, it was almost
like a unveiling of my blossoming teenager self, a "coming of age"
sort of thing, to take the glasses off.

Now, I don't know how not wearing glasses for all those years affected
my eye development. Maybe it hurt, or maybe my eyesight would have
continued to get poorer no matter what (my parents, grandparents,
aunts, and sister have the same issue, so I think it's genetic). This
is something you'll want to get a unbiased opinion on, to see if
wearing or not wearing will affect his eyesight in any substantial
way.

Of course, most eye doctors will automatically expect him to wear them
if he has poor eyesight, so you might have to phrase your question a
few different ways before they;ll finally hedge out an answer to what
you're really asking (because they'll likely be of the opinion that
not wearing glasses just isn't an option).

If he chooses not to wear glasses, just keep an eye on him for
headaches or other signs that he is experiencing eyestrain. At that
point I would revisit the issue.

-- Susan

Schafer Vanessa

Hi Katharine,

Both of my kids wear glasses. My daughter has worn
them since kindergarten, and my son, since first
grade.

I guess both of my kids are odd. My daughter has to
wear hers all the time, and she loves them. She knows
that glasses can be fun, because she can pick them out
to match her personality, or just because she thinks
they look cool. She doesn't mind wearing them at all.

My son wears his for up close work. We didn't know he
needed them, until he was doing homework, and he was
complaining about how his eyes hurt, and he had a
headache. He ended up needing them, and has sometimes
forgotten to put them on, and sometimes he forgets to
take them off. He doesn't mind wearing his, either.

As far as going into the eye doctors exam room, my
daughter has me go in with her. She is just more
comfortable with that. Maybe the eye doctor would let
you have your ds sit on your lap, or at the very least
go in with him. Sometimes having mom with a child
makes them more comfortable. You could also take him
in with you, and let him watch, so that he knows the
exam doesn't hurt.

I don't know if this helps, but the ladies in our eye
doctors office often help with picking out glasses.
If people don't make comments like "i'm sorry you have
to wear glasses, etc. ", and actually tell him how
cool the glasses are, I'm sure he'll be fine.

It will all work out. Sooner or later, he'll find
that he can see better with his glasses, than without.
I remember when I first got mine, in 9th grade, I hid
them, and wouldn't wear them. After a while, I
figured out that they can be fun, and can be picked
out to match my personality, or just something I
wouldn't normally wear. If you make it fun, it won't
be so bad.

Good luck.
--- Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:

> This strikes me as a strange question, but does
> anyone have any experience getting glasses in a
> non-coercive manner for a youngish (7yo) child who
> doesn't want them?
>
> My son couldn't read the bottom 5 lines (out of 10?)
> on the wall chart at his check-up. I explained
> later, in a very low-key manner, that that indicated
> that we should see an eye-doctor to get glasses.
> That with glasses he would find that things that are
> hard to see or blurry now we be clear for him. He
> said, "No."
>
> I've made an appointment for both us -- me first
> (I'm way overdue for a eye exam anyway) and then him
> right after. Just knowing his personality (very
> shy, resists going new places or places with lots of
> people), it will take some coaxing to even get him
> into the office with me although I think he'll
> cooperate for the exam. I'd like to just get the
> glasses and suggest he try them frequently without
> constantly nagging him, but I guess I'm a little
> leary -- concerned he'll just refuse and not ever
> learn how much easier it is to see with them unless
> we insist he wear them. That if we set a precedent
> of not insisting...
>
> Okay, I have to admit that even typing this out I'm
> beginning to think it's ludicrous. Of course, in
> time, he'll come to realize he can see better with
> them. In time, he'll get used to them. And even if
> I pay for glasses he hardly ever wears at this age,
> why is my nagging him into wearing them an
> improvement? But I'd still be interested in others'
> experiences!
>
> Katharine
>
>
>
>
>
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
> 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time
> with the Yahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.
> http://tools.search.yahoo.com/shortcuts/#news
>


Vanessa




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[email protected]

Hi Katharine,

My son *failed* the eye exam at the pediatrician's office a couple of years
ago. We were worried about him having glasses and being responsible for them
and so on. When we went to the ophthalmologist, he passed the exam with flying
colors. Wait until your son is actually prescribed the glasses before you
start worrying about how you're going to get him to wear them. The eye
specialist will have gone through the new glasses routine before and will probably
have some ideas about how to help with the transition, if necessary.

If his vision is really bad and he can see clearly with glasses, common sense
may take care of all your worries and your son will love being able to see so
he'll want to wear the glasses.

Best wishes for a clearer future and welcome to the list.

Warmly,
Robin


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heather

Maybe you could find some books to read together about getting glasses.
Like Arthur's Eyes by Marc Brown.

heather
*

*
On 2/1/07, Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:
>
> This strikes me as a strange question, but does anyone have any
> experience getting glasses in a non-coercive manner for a youngish (7yo)
> child who doesn't want them?
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Marieke Willis

--- Susan <SusanYvonne@...> wrote:
> At 15 I switched to contacts,

I'm not sure how old you have to be for contacts, probably older than
7yo, but I might be wrong, so ask the doctor, perhaps your son would
prefer them. Personally, I'll probably never be able to wear contacts,
because my eyes are too dry, but I don't care anymore. Glasses are
cheaper and less work. :)

> Now, I don't know how not wearing glasses for all those years
> affected my eye development.

It probably didn't do any harm for your eyes. In fact, according to one
of my college-level neuroscience textbooks, you can improve your
eyesight by spending an hour every day practicing looking at objects
that are at a distance that's just getting blurry. Now, not wearing
glasses might harm your kid's development in other ways, such as if he
has lots of headaches due to eyestrain.

So, anyway, I got my first glasses at age 9, because my parents were
getting upset with me sitting closer and closer to the tv (about 90% of
programs are subtitled) and me having more headaches than before, etc.
I told them I didn't think I needed glasses, but they took me to the
optometrist and got me glasses, and I didn't really mind wearing them
once I got them (although I'd often forget to put them on in the
morning, but not on purpose).

For kids especially, or adults involved in sports involving objects
that might hit the head (e.g. basketball) I recommend titanium frames.
They're almost impossible to break.

Marieke



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wuweimama

I believe that there are several issues, the first step is he needs to
be willing to participate in your efforts to have him evaluated for
glasses. How to get him to wear glasses, is sorta putting the horse
before the cart, as it were. Creating opportunities for him to become
familiar and comfortable with the eye exam environment, people and
procedures would be my first steps. I wouldn't assume that your son
*not* reading the last 5 lines on the chart concludes that he *can't*
read them.

Another variable is that many food chemicals can interfere with our
ability to focus and participate in something so tedious and boring as
reading letters on and on and on for no seeming purpose. Helping him
to understand the variables involved in the assessment. And observe if
your real life observations concur that your son can not clearly
visualize different data at varying distances in a manner that meets
his needs. Basically, I'd also discuss your *son'* observations about
his ability to see clearly. Does he feel frustrated that he needs to
get close to items or far from them to see clearly? He is at an age
where he is probably able to be that self-aware, if you observe some
visual issue out of the ordinary.

Furthermore, my friend posted this fascinating note elsewhere, and as
a life-long wearer of glasses, the concepts are intriguing to consider:

<< (it is an excerpt from Chinaberry book reviews)

TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES AND SEE
A Mind/Body Approach to Expanding Your Eyesight and Insight
Jacob Liberman , O.D., Ph.D.

The other day I astonished the people around me as I strung seed beads
in dim light without glasses (I am 54), and I immediately thought of
this book. Until thirteen years ago I too had felt completely helpless
without my glasses, which I had worn since I was ten years old.
Liberman had not yet written this book, so the book that turned me
around then was by Dr. William Bates, written in the 1920's. Bates is
the grandfather of a slew of books, mostly written in the 1980's and
1990's, about improving vision without glasses. I set about to read
them all.

TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES AND SEE by Jacob Liberman was the last in a long
series and my favorite. Liberman actually started out as an
optometrist, but early on in his practice he couldn't help wondering,
"Why do the eyes appear to be the only part of the physical body that
is not self-healing?" Why indeed?! It is as if, as he says, we went to
a doctor with a broken arm and were told "no problem, I will fit you
with this brace to wear for the rest of your life." I liked Liberman
the best because he not only gave a description of the very exercises
(he calls them meditations) that I had been using to improve my
vision, but he brought in the "mind/body" connection - it is not just
about improving your acuity at reading letters on a chart twenty feet
away!

My own example of this is when I tried his idea of "open focus." He
warned what might happen emotionally, but I thought because I had been
doing the other exercises for so long I was beyond that point. I
remember standing in my kitchen, after a few days of open focus, and
feeling an emotional blast heading straight at me like an oncoming
freight train. Two hours and many tears later, it was as if I had
released a great tightness and grief which never came back, though I
admit I was somewhat relieved when I figured out where it had come
from-those few days of open focus. He also has some wonderful
exercises to release your ability to learn (he himself found reading
very difficult) as well as to see clearly (they go hand in hand). I
tried them out - they were both fun and amazing.

This book is not only for those "needing" glasses already but for
those who would like to know how to keep the excellent vision they
have, those who would like to help keep their children out of glasses,
and those who as teachers would like to stem the tide of vision
problems in their classrooms (which, to mix metaphors, is of epidemic
proportions). I would love to see the information in this book become
common knowledge.>>>

Best wishes, Pat

Ren Allen

~~Furthermore, my friend posted this fascinating note elsewhere, and as
a life-long wearer of glasses, the concepts are intriguing to consider:~~

My dh swears that wearing his glasses makes his eyesight worse, so he
hardly ever wears them!! His Dad sent us the book about eye exercises
that are supposed to help improve eyesight. I try to do some of them
as prevention.:)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
>> My son couldn't read the bottom 5 lines (out of 10?) on the wall
>chart at his check-up. I explained later, in a very low-key
>manner, that that indicated that we should see an eye-doctor to get
>glasses. That with glasses he would find that things that are hard
>to see or blurry now we be clear for him. He said, "No."

I can't read the *first* line on the eye-chart w/o my glasses (its
an E, right?) but there are still times when I find it more useful
not to wear them - especially in my artistic endeavors. I love the
fact that I can take my glasses off and see the whole world
differently. Its a softer, more comforatble world in many ways,
without the glasses, with a far greater sense of mystery than the
world of sharp edges and separation I see through them.

Your son will find reasons to use glasses or not. I know a
woodworker who chose not to wear glasses for ten years and worked
mostly with hand-tools. Then he married another woodworker with lots
of powertools, and found he wanted to wear his glasses again.

> I've made an appointment for both us -- me first (I'm way overdue
>for a eye exam anyway) and then him right after.

I think letting him watch your eye exam is a good idea, and I'd keep
the second apt, but not try to coax your son into actually doing
anything. If he seems interested in the process you can offer to let
him have a look for himself - I was always facinated by the changing
focus. If you can find a doctor who is willing to play a little (and
you're paying for two apts so he's not feeling rushed!) it could be
a fun, friendly experience. Especially if you *don't* place any
expectations on the outcome.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)