Tonya Matthews

Hi,

I've been here a while and I mostly lurk but I have a question to
ask advice on.

I started out a pretty authoritarian parent and have found my way to
unschooling. I'm still finding my way and finding what works *best*
for *us* but I'd like some input on something going on with my
youngest.

My 3 1/2 y/o daughter slipped and fell on Sunday at 2ish. No one saw
it. My oldest was in the room with her and he didn't see it either.
She said she slipped. I don't know how she fell (as in positioning).

She said her right ankle hurt. We rested it, tried ice (that didn't
happen though), gave her Tylenol, Arnica, etc. It didn't swell or
bruise but she said she couldn't walk on it. I called the dr's
office, they said to wait and see, if she still couldn't walk on it,
give them a call on Monday. We ended up with an appt on Monday @
2:30. By this point, she wouldn't walk on it, said it hurt and would
cry out if she stood on it. But she also would sit cross legged,
crawl, and lean on it while sitting and be fine.

At the dr's, she had an exam, came out fine. Had bloodwork taken
because she still wouldn't walk on it (wanted to clear any unseen
issues). The bloodwork came back fine and we were sent for xrays.
The xrays came out fine.

Now, it's Tuesday 5pm and she's still not walking on it.
Periodically she'll stand on it and say "oh Mommy! It doesn't hurt
anymore!" but then gets nervous and says it hurts again.

My opinion: it doesn't hurt. It's fine but her mind is stuck
thinking it still hurts. She is crawling around the house and having
us carry her.

I don't know what to do about this. On the one hand, I want to let
her just go with this and work it out on her own. But she's near 40
lbs and there's just not that much I can do if I have to carry her
all over. We stayed home most of the day today even though we were
going to go geocaching. Her brother had karate and her other brother
has piano practice tonight. I can carry her if I have to for these
things.

Let me also add that she gets a LOT of attention. She's the princess
of the family with two older brothers that *adore* her, a dad who
spoils her to pieces and a mom who loves to dress her up and try on
shoes with her. She gets attention everywhere she goes for her
cute "Shirley Temple" look. She's an overall happy child but can be
moody unexpectedly.

Has anyone come up against this kind of situation before? I haven't.
My boys cried when they were really hurt and didn't fuss otherwise
so this is new to me.

I appreciate your wisdom,
Thanks
Tonya in Auburn MA

Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

First of all :
Take her seriosly.
Second:
Could she have a splinter she may have stepped on it?
They can making walking impossible and be invisible-I know I have been there-
Whatever reason just take her seriosly. Wouldn't you want the same if the shoe was on the other foot?
Alex
----- Original Message -----
From: Tonya Matthews
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2007 4:11 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Question for my 3 1/2 y/o


Hi,

I've been here a while and I mostly lurk but I have a question to
ask advice on.

I started out a pretty authoritarian parent and have found my way to
unschooling. I'm still finding my way and finding what works *best*
for *us* but I'd like some input on something going on with my
youngest.

My 3 1/2 y/o daughter slipped and fell on Sunday at 2ish. No one saw
it. My oldest was in the room with her and he didn't see it either.
She said she slipped. I don't know how she fell (as in positioning).

She said her right ankle hurt. We rested it, tried ice (that didn't
happen though), gave her Tylenol, Arnica, etc. It didn't swell or
bruise but she said she couldn't walk on it. I called the dr's
office, they said to wait and see, if she still couldn't walk on it,
give them a call on Monday. We ended up with an appt on Monday @
2:30. By this point, she wouldn't walk on it, said it hurt and would
cry out if she stood on it. But she also would sit cross legged,
crawl, and lean on it while sitting and be fine.

At the dr's, she had an exam, came out fine. Had bloodwork taken
because she still wouldn't walk on it (wanted to clear any unseen
issues). The bloodwork came back fine and we were sent for xrays.
The xrays came out fine.

Now, it's Tuesday 5pm and she's still not walking on it.
Periodically she'll stand on it and say "oh Mommy! It doesn't hurt
anymore!" but then gets nervous and says it hurts again.

My opinion: it doesn't hurt. It's fine but her mind is stuck
thinking it still hurts. She is crawling around the house and having
us carry her.

I don't know what to do about this. On the one hand, I want to let
her just go with this and work it out on her own. But she's near 40
lbs and there's just not that much I can do if I have to carry her
all over. We stayed home most of the day today even though we were
going to go geocaching. Her brother had karate and her other brother
has piano practice tonight. I can carry her if I have to for these
things.

Let me also add that she gets a LOT of attention. She's the princess
of the family with two older brothers that *adore* her, a dad who
spoils her to pieces and a mom who loves to dress her up and try on
shoes with her. She gets attention everywhere she goes for her
cute "Shirley Temple" look. She's an overall happy child but can be
moody unexpectedly.

Has anyone come up against this kind of situation before? I haven't.
My boys cried when they were really hurt and didn't fuss otherwise
so this is new to me.

I appreciate your wisdom,
Thanks
Tonya in Auburn MA





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kristenhendricks55

Has anyone in your family been sick or had a birthday lately?

Sometimes the attention you don't realize you give other people can
have an effect on a toddler wanting the same attention.

My 3 y.o daughter will tell me how much her stomach hurts after both
of the babies have had a fussy day. Even though I know she gets
tons of attention- she still wants her turn to be cuddled and talked
to while she "doesnt feel good".


--- In [email protected], "Tonya Matthews"
<godzilla.matthews@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> I've been here a while and I mostly lurk but I have a question to
> ask advice on.
>
> I started out a pretty authoritarian parent and have found my way
to
> unschooling. I'm still finding my way and finding what works
*best*
> for *us* but I'd like some input on something going on with my
> youngest.
>
> My 3 1/2 y/o daughter slipped and fell on Sunday at 2ish. No one
saw
> it. My oldest was in the room with her and he didn't see it
either.
> She said she slipped. I don't know how she fell (as in
positioning).
>
> She said her right ankle hurt. We rested it, tried ice (that
didn't
> happen though), gave her Tylenol, Arnica, etc. It didn't swell or
> bruise but she said she couldn't walk on it. I called the dr's
> office, they said to wait and see, if she still couldn't walk on
it,
> give them a call on Monday. We ended up with an appt on Monday @
> 2:30. By this point, she wouldn't walk on it, said it hurt and
would
> cry out if she stood on it. But she also would sit cross legged,
> crawl, and lean on it while sitting and be fine.
>
> At the dr's, she had an exam, came out fine. Had bloodwork taken
> because she still wouldn't walk on it (wanted to clear any unseen
> issues). The bloodwork came back fine and we were sent for xrays.
> The xrays came out fine.
>
> Now, it's Tuesday 5pm and she's still not walking on it.
> Periodically she'll stand on it and say "oh Mommy! It doesn't hurt
> anymore!" but then gets nervous and says it hurts again.
>
> My opinion: it doesn't hurt. It's fine but her mind is stuck
> thinking it still hurts. She is crawling around the house and
having
> us carry her.
>
> I don't know what to do about this. On the one hand, I want to let
> her just go with this and work it out on her own. But she's near
40
> lbs and there's just not that much I can do if I have to carry her
> all over. We stayed home most of the day today even though we were
> going to go geocaching. Her brother had karate and her other
brother
> has piano practice tonight. I can carry her if I have to for these
> things.
>
> Let me also add that she gets a LOT of attention. She's the
princess
> of the family with two older brothers that *adore* her, a dad who
> spoils her to pieces and a mom who loves to dress her up and try
on
> shoes with her. She gets attention everywhere she goes for her
> cute "Shirley Temple" look. She's an overall happy child but can
be
> moody unexpectedly.
>
> Has anyone come up against this kind of situation before? I
haven't.
> My boys cried when they were really hurt and didn't fuss otherwise
> so this is new to me.
>
> I appreciate your wisdom,
> Thanks
> Tonya in Auburn MA
>

kristenhendricks55

If shes anything like my dd whos the same age... you know when to
taker her seriously and when not to. I usually will entertain
the "illness" as long as she wants to play it- but I have a bond
with her (and she has one with me) where we both know when the other
is serious.

And when she "hurts herself" shes usually not serious.



--- In [email protected], "Brian & Alexandra
Polikowsky" <polykow@...> wrote:
>
> First of all :
> Take her seriosly.
> Second:
> Could she have a splinter she may have stepped on it?
> They can making walking impossible and be invisible-I know I have
been there-
> Whatever reason just take her seriosly. Wouldn't you want the same
if the shoe was on the other foot?
> Alex
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Tonya Matthews
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2007 4:11 PM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Question for my 3 1/2 y/o
>
>
> Hi,
>
> I've been here a while and I mostly lurk but I have a question
to
> ask advice on.
>
> I started out a pretty authoritarian parent and have found my
way to
> unschooling. I'm still finding my way and finding what works
*best*
> for *us* but I'd like some input on something going on with my
> youngest.
>
> My 3 1/2 y/o daughter slipped and fell on Sunday at 2ish. No one
saw
> it. My oldest was in the room with her and he didn't see it
either.
> She said she slipped. I don't know how she fell (as in
positioning).
>
> She said her right ankle hurt. We rested it, tried ice (that
didn't
> happen though), gave her Tylenol, Arnica, etc. It didn't swell
or
> bruise but she said she couldn't walk on it. I called the dr's
> office, they said to wait and see, if she still couldn't walk on
it,
> give them a call on Monday. We ended up with an appt on Monday @
> 2:30. By this point, she wouldn't walk on it, said it hurt and
would
> cry out if she stood on it. But she also would sit cross legged,
> crawl, and lean on it while sitting and be fine.
>
> At the dr's, she had an exam, came out fine. Had bloodwork taken
> because she still wouldn't walk on it (wanted to clear any
unseen
> issues). The bloodwork came back fine and we were sent for
xrays.
> The xrays came out fine.
>
> Now, it's Tuesday 5pm and she's still not walking on it.
> Periodically she'll stand on it and say "oh Mommy! It doesn't
hurt
> anymore!" but then gets nervous and says it hurts again.
>
> My opinion: it doesn't hurt. It's fine but her mind is stuck
> thinking it still hurts. She is crawling around the house and
having
> us carry her.
>
> I don't know what to do about this. On the one hand, I want to
let
> her just go with this and work it out on her own. But she's near
40
> lbs and there's just not that much I can do if I have to carry
her
> all over. We stayed home most of the day today even though we
were
> going to go geocaching. Her brother had karate and her other
brother
> has piano practice tonight. I can carry her if I have to for
these
> things.
>
> Let me also add that she gets a LOT of attention. She's the
princess
> of the family with two older brothers that *adore* her, a dad
who
> spoils her to pieces and a mom who loves to dress her up and try
on
> shoes with her. She gets attention everywhere she goes for her
> cute "Shirley Temple" look. She's an overall happy child but can
be
> moody unexpectedly.
>
> Has anyone come up against this kind of situation before? I
haven't.
> My boys cried when they were really hurt and didn't fuss
otherwise
> so this is new to me.
>
> I appreciate your wisdom,
> Thanks
> Tonya in Auburn MA
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[email protected]

I would see a chiropractor. I wish you lived in FL near me (i have a GREAT
one who treats children and is supportive of un-schooling and alternative
medicine) Sometimes what the western med folks don't find the other healers will
pick up on. Best of luck to you.

Adriana




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tonya Matthews

Thanks Adriana! We *do* have a wonderful chiropractor, actually!
That was my next step. We all need a "tune up".

Thanks for all the insight, everyone.

I'm going to treat it as a sore (maybe sprained) ankle and let her
heal without undo pressure.

I sure will need the chiro after carrying her 40 lbs around during
this! *LOL*

Warm regards,
Tonya in MA

--- In [email protected], singdoula@... wrote:
>
>
>
> I would see a chiropractor. I wish you lived in FL near me (i
have a GREAT
> one who treats children and is supportive of un-schooling and
alternative
> medicine) Sometimes what the western med folks don't find the
other healers will
> pick up on. Best of luck to you.
>
> Adriana
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/9/2007 9:10:11 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
godzilla.matthews@... writes:

Thanks Adriana! We *do* have a wonderful chiropractor, actually!
That was my next step. We all need a "tune up".

Thanks for all the insight, everyone.

I'm going to treat it as a sore (maybe sprained) ankle and let her
heal without undo pressure.

I sure will need the chiro after carrying her 40 lbs around during
this! *LOL*



oh my gosh, that's exactly what I was going to write to you!! LOL! I was
going to say "best case scenario, she's just needing extra attention and you
will get your back nicely adjusted after lugging her around." You are lucky to
know a good family chiro. Sometimes we will go a year or two ONLY seeing her
as a family (no reg docs)

I write this not to worry you because I KNOW your daughter at worst only has
a sprain, but to anyone else who is talking about toddlers and attention and
medical things. I'm sure every baby/toddler is different and there are
probably tons of 'boo boos' that are in the head but I have friends who had a son
(he was only 14 months) who was VERY verbal and advanced and complained that
food didn't taste good and he didn't want to eat it. He was bottle fed at
that time and after reg. pediatric exams they said "he's just wanting to go
back to the bottle, be firm with him and keep introducing foods" but he had less
and less of an appetite and started seeming developmentally delayed, less
talking, walking. The parents pointed this out to the docs (2 of them!) who
both agreed he was 'playing baby' to get the bottle. Mom and dad didn't go for
it and went to a children's hospital and found the baby had neuroblastoma :-(
Poor little guy tried so hard to get better but didn't make it to birthday
#3 and is an angel in heaven now but the way the mom looks at it is "had we
not taken him seriously, maybe we wouldn't have had him for THAT long." Once
again, this isn't intended to you (your daughter sounds as healthy as can be
with a boo boo foot, that's all!) but just generally for anyone that dismisses
behavioral changes or medical complaints from their child.

Adriana




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

alisonslp

My son had this happen at around 4 yrs old. DH and he were wrestling
and dh landed on ds's ankle. OUCH! We treated at home for two days.
No swelling but he still wouldn't walk on it so we went for x-rays.
nothing. It took about 4-5 more days of him babying the foot, hopping,
crawling, limping, etc. before he just decided it didn't hurt anymore.
Thankfully, he didn't want us carrying him though. I always err on
the cautious side with injuries. I grew up with arthritis. I had alot
of pain as a child. Not realizing it was related to arthritis (I had
internal inflammation only), dr.s initially just dx-ed sprains. I
think I had over 20 sprains on my chart for 5 yrs before they began
figuring it out. But after the first few, my parents and drs. didn't
really believe me. They thought I was just trying to get a little
extra attention.

I vowed I would never question my children's pain or illness. I know
sometimes kids embellish for extra attention, but the risk of missing
something is not worth the questioning.

Just keep offering encouragement. I know my son expressed fears that
he might hurt it again - it was a real fear he had that was
interrupting his desire to walk. So we talked about taking it easy at
first - just walking in the house. Then walking on the pavement,
finally walking on the grass (the worst for sore ankles - I know). IT
worked for him.

Alison

Alison

Tonya Matthews

Well, there is the fact that she is now just starting to use the
toilet….



We *are* going back to the drs though tomorrow. They aren't happy with
the fact that she's still crawling. It's a mystery for sure but I've
been on her side about this and I'm glad I asked all of you for your
input.



Warm regards,

Tonya