taliasafa

Hi,

I was hoping that some of you out there might be able to help me
complile some quotes or links to articles to share with my in-laws
about what my hopes are in educating my son the unschooly way. It
would be helpful to me to better know what I am doing as well. :)

I live about 500 ft. from their door and my son wishes he could go
there all hours of the day. I don't expect them to be able to
accomplish a radical unschooling environment, but I do want to at
least share with them some of my wishes.

My mother-in-law has decided that my son needs discipline, so she has
been making up all of these rules, like, "in grandma's house we..."
and she teaches him things that include quizing kinds of questions. It
makes me uncomfortable, but she is so sick of me being particular
about everything she does with him that I want to present the
information instead of saying, "Don't do this. Don't do that."

Thanks,
tal

Joyce Fetteroll

On Dec 30, 2006, at 6:02 PM, taliasafa wrote:

> she is so sick of me being particular
> about everything she does with him that I want to present the
> information instead of saying, "Don't do this. Don't do that."

I think it would be better for your relationship if you let her find
her own relationship with your son. If she has different rules, so
what? There are different rules in stores than homes and we manage to
accept that. If she imposes so many rules and spends so much time
quizzing him that he doesn't want to go, then that's his choice --
and her choice.

*If* he starts balking at going you might want to point out that
every moment she spends with him she's creating memories and right
now she's creating memories of a person that her grandson doesn't
want to spend time with.

You can still offer information about unschooling but I wouldn't do
it with the purpose of changing her. Do it because you think she
might be interested.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Dec 30, 2006, at 6:02 PM, taliasafa wrote:

> I was hoping that some of you out there might be able to help me
> complile some quotes or links to articles to share with my in-laws
> about what my hopes are in educating my son the unschooly way.

Oops, forgot to mention some sites:

http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

http://joyfullyrejoycing.com

Both have relatively brief essays and answers to questions.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~
I think it would be better for your relationship if you let her find
her own relationship with your son. If she has different rules, so
what? There are different rules in stores than homes and we manage to
accept that. If she imposes so many rules and spends so much time
quizzing him that he doesn't want to go, then that's his choice --
and her choice.~~

I totally agree.
If a family member is actually toxic and not safe with a child, then
contact should be very limited and parents need to be present. BUT, if
you're talking about rules and limitations that vary from home to
home, that's real life. Kids are smart. They learn that their
relatinship with Grandma is different from their relationship with Mom
or Dad. That's ok.

I think telling other people how to respect our radical unschooling
preferences is disrespectful! Let your child own their relationship
with the Grandparent and unless it's truly harmful, give it some
space. I don't think it's doing kids any favors to make them think
that other households need to honor OUR way of doing things.

Our home is different, they understand that. So far, it hasn't been a
big issue to adjust to different homes and spaces and the rules or
limitations therein.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com