losing friends
[email protected]
Has anyone been really great friends with a family when all your collective
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meridith Richardson
Yes! I actually do not hang out with a family
anymore, even though my husband has remained close
with them. I found that the children (who my daughter
played with often) were shaping her into being a more
competitive non sharing child. Also she thought that
it was "ok" to exclude certain children etc. I saw
that the mother was not open to any suggestions or
interference, so we do not play there any longer, and
I am still working on moving faith away from some of
those "habits."
Meridith
--- singdoula@... wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
anymore, even though my husband has remained close
with them. I found that the children (who my daughter
played with often) were shaping her into being a more
competitive non sharing child. Also she thought that
it was "ok" to exclude certain children etc. I saw
that the mother was not open to any suggestions or
interference, so we do not play there any longer, and
I am still working on moving faith away from some of
those "habits."
Meridith
--- singdoula@... wrote:
>__________________________________________________
>
> Has anyone been really great friends with a family
> when all your collective
> children were little, then once the kids (from the
> other family) started
> school you found that you couldn't socialize with
> them anymore? I try to have a
> really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but
> I won't force my children
> to be around kids that are competitive, show-off,
> bullies with horrible values
> just because I like their parents and have known
> them so long that we are
> practically family.
>
> Adriana
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Kelly Weyd
I find it kind of hard with the gals in our neighborhood. When they get together what do they talk about? What their kids are doing in school of course. So I always end up feeling like the odd man out. Even when our family gets together with friends inevitably people start talking about what their kids are doing at school. Although with our really close friends it does not matter........they accept our lifestyle and they accept ours. I also have a problem with the show off, bullying, competitive type kids. One day the girls came in the house and told me that one of the neighborhood kids said that if you homeschool you are not learning anything. It's one kid in particular that keeps saying these kinds of things to them......he is seriously misinformed. So I've discussed with my kids that they are learning! And I just find it so beautiful and refreshing that we are not caught up in the game of Oh, my Billy got an A+ in Math, what did your Susie get? Or Billy is the
star of his soccer team, does your Johnny do sports? And I think eventually my girls will effectively weed out the snobbish, bullying, competitive types and hang out with kids that love them for who they are.
Kelly
singdoula@... wrote:
Has anyone been really great friends with a family when all your collective
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
star of his soccer team, does your Johnny do sports? And I think eventually my girls will effectively weed out the snobbish, bullying, competitive types and hang out with kids that love them for who they are.
Kelly
singdoula@... wrote:
Has anyone been really great friends with a family when all your collective
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
thank you everyone for making me feel better about the lost friendship
thing! I felt really guilty earlier today because this one family in particular
sent me a holiday card and the children in the picture were HUGE. It has been
years since I've seen them. I really miss the mom and dad. We were so close
years ago and they are beautiful people, but the children were SERIOUSLY
competitive and did a lot of cruel bullying. My children asked that we not hang out
with them anymore and it would have been impossible for me to stay friends
with the parents and not with the kids! There were so many issues with
academic competition. Their children would say "look at what I can read, can YOU
read it?" Or "I can do long division, can you?" The thing that really caused
us to separate from them was an issue pertaining to swimming. I decided to
unschool my children with swimming (VERY controversial in FL by the way because
we are surrounded in water! Most people around here think I am an awful mom
for waiting) My children enjoyed going in water with floaties for years but
never wanted to wet their faces or try strokes or floating. They could not
swim at all until this last summer (at ages 10, 8 and 6) when they asked me if
they could learn and take lessons from a private teacher who was gentle and
quiet in his approach (this man is a SAINT by the way, he had them swimming in
5 minutes and everything about him was so unschool friendly and affirming to
their beautiful hearts and minds; the first thing he told them was "if you
don't want to try anything just say no and we'll get around to it some other
time) The funny thing is now, after a week of lessons and a summer of swim fun
they are swimming LIKE FISH. Next summer they are joining a dive team, LOL!
It is so typical of how unschooling works. Wait till you are ready and then
when you are, you SOAR!
Anyway, a few years ago when we were still trying to be friends with these
people their kids were swimming super well (and were VERY young) and they kept
taunting my children about their float devices and not wanting to go under
water. Finally, the middle child in the family PUSHED my oldest son into the
deep end and yelled "DROWN" then started laughing. His mom went "after him" to
punish him and he jumped in the water, then every time he would come to the
surface she would yell and he would go back under so he couldn't hear. She
gave up in about 20 seconds. It was HORRIFYING. My son was totally frightened
and humiliated. It was the first time (and only time, thank goodness) he told
me he was "a loser."
We never visited with them again.
Anyway, I'm really glad that I'm not alone in the occasional alienation. It
can be very sad.
Adriana
PS please don't scold me for being a bad mom and not teaching them to swim -
I PROMISE they just weren't ready yet and I was always ULTRA ULTRA careful
around water (still am, but at least I don't have to act paranoid about it
anymore!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thing! I felt really guilty earlier today because this one family in particular
sent me a holiday card and the children in the picture were HUGE. It has been
years since I've seen them. I really miss the mom and dad. We were so close
years ago and they are beautiful people, but the children were SERIOUSLY
competitive and did a lot of cruel bullying. My children asked that we not hang out
with them anymore and it would have been impossible for me to stay friends
with the parents and not with the kids! There were so many issues with
academic competition. Their children would say "look at what I can read, can YOU
read it?" Or "I can do long division, can you?" The thing that really caused
us to separate from them was an issue pertaining to swimming. I decided to
unschool my children with swimming (VERY controversial in FL by the way because
we are surrounded in water! Most people around here think I am an awful mom
for waiting) My children enjoyed going in water with floaties for years but
never wanted to wet their faces or try strokes or floating. They could not
swim at all until this last summer (at ages 10, 8 and 6) when they asked me if
they could learn and take lessons from a private teacher who was gentle and
quiet in his approach (this man is a SAINT by the way, he had them swimming in
5 minutes and everything about him was so unschool friendly and affirming to
their beautiful hearts and minds; the first thing he told them was "if you
don't want to try anything just say no and we'll get around to it some other
time) The funny thing is now, after a week of lessons and a summer of swim fun
they are swimming LIKE FISH. Next summer they are joining a dive team, LOL!
It is so typical of how unschooling works. Wait till you are ready and then
when you are, you SOAR!
Anyway, a few years ago when we were still trying to be friends with these
people their kids were swimming super well (and were VERY young) and they kept
taunting my children about their float devices and not wanting to go under
water. Finally, the middle child in the family PUSHED my oldest son into the
deep end and yelled "DROWN" then started laughing. His mom went "after him" to
punish him and he jumped in the water, then every time he would come to the
surface she would yell and he would go back under so he couldn't hear. She
gave up in about 20 seconds. It was HORRIFYING. My son was totally frightened
and humiliated. It was the first time (and only time, thank goodness) he told
me he was "a loser."
We never visited with them again.
Anyway, I'm really glad that I'm not alone in the occasional alienation. It
can be very sad.
Adriana
PS please don't scold me for being a bad mom and not teaching them to swim -
I PROMISE they just weren't ready yet and I was always ULTRA ULTRA careful
around water (still am, but at least I don't have to act paranoid about it
anymore!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
I was a Nanny for 8 years before I became a foster parent and then later adopted my two daughters. I remember I was taking care of this 3 year old little boy. He was taking swim lessons at the Y. First day of swimming lessons the instructor grabbed him and shoved him in the water. Of course this little boy freaked! Not only was the instructor a stranger to him, but he was being put in the water against his will. I took him, dried him off, and took him home. When I told his Mother she freaked too. It just felt so wrong. When I took my girls in as foster children, I let them do the swimming thing on their terms. Lexi (8) spent two summers just sitting on the side of the pool. The third year she only went in occasionally. Well now at 8 she is a fish, and loves to swim. And I do not allow my children to hold anyone under water, it's a safety issue........no room for negotiation. And I would never allow anyone else to hold my children under water, even if it meant
me removing the child away from my child. So you did the right thing where these friends were concerned, and you did the right thing with letting your kids learn to swim on their terms.
Kelly
singdoula@... wrote:
thank you everyone for making me feel better about the lost friendship
thing! I felt really guilty earlier today because this one family in particular
sent me a holiday card and the children in the picture were HUGE. It has been
years since I've seen them. I really miss the mom and dad. We were so close
years ago and they are beautiful people, but the children were SERIOUSLY
competitive and did a lot of cruel bullying. My children asked that we not hang out
with them anymore and it would have been impossible for me to stay friends
with the parents and not with the kids! There were so many issues with
academic competition. Their children would say "look at what I can read, can YOU
read it?" Or "I can do long division, can you?" The thing that really caused
us to separate from them was an issue pertaining to swimming. I decided to
unschool my children with swimming (VERY controversial in FL by the way because
we are surrounded in water! Most people around here think I am an awful mom
for waiting) My children enjoyed going in water with floaties for years but
never wanted to wet their faces or try strokes or floating. They could not
swim at all until this last summer (at ages 10, 8 and 6) when they asked me if
they could learn and take lessons from a private teacher who was gentle and
quiet in his approach (this man is a SAINT by the way, he had them swimming in
5 minutes and everything about him was so unschool friendly and affirming to
their beautiful hearts and minds; the first thing he told them was "if you
don't want to try anything just say no and we'll get around to it some other
time) The funny thing is now, after a week of lessons and a summer of swim fun
they are swimming LIKE FISH. Next summer they are joining a dive team, LOL!
It is so typical of how unschooling works. Wait till you are ready and then
when you are, you SOAR!
Anyway, a few years ago when we were still trying to be friends with these
people their kids were swimming super well (and were VERY young) and they kept
taunting my children about their float devices and not wanting to go under
water. Finally, the middle child in the family PUSHED my oldest son into the
deep end and yelled "DROWN" then started laughing. His mom went "after him" to
punish him and he jumped in the water, then every time he would come to the
surface she would yell and he would go back under so he couldn't hear. She
gave up in about 20 seconds. It was HORRIFYING. My son was totally frightened
and humiliated. It was the first time (and only time, thank goodness) he told
me he was "a loser."
We never visited with them again.
Anyway, I'm really glad that I'm not alone in the occasional alienation. It
can be very sad.
Adriana
PS please don't scold me for being a bad mom and not teaching them to swim -
I PROMISE they just weren't ready yet and I was always ULTRA ULTRA careful
around water (still am, but at least I don't have to act paranoid about it
anymore!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
me removing the child away from my child. So you did the right thing where these friends were concerned, and you did the right thing with letting your kids learn to swim on their terms.
Kelly
singdoula@... wrote:
thank you everyone for making me feel better about the lost friendship
thing! I felt really guilty earlier today because this one family in particular
sent me a holiday card and the children in the picture were HUGE. It has been
years since I've seen them. I really miss the mom and dad. We were so close
years ago and they are beautiful people, but the children were SERIOUSLY
competitive and did a lot of cruel bullying. My children asked that we not hang out
with them anymore and it would have been impossible for me to stay friends
with the parents and not with the kids! There were so many issues with
academic competition. Their children would say "look at what I can read, can YOU
read it?" Or "I can do long division, can you?" The thing that really caused
us to separate from them was an issue pertaining to swimming. I decided to
unschool my children with swimming (VERY controversial in FL by the way because
we are surrounded in water! Most people around here think I am an awful mom
for waiting) My children enjoyed going in water with floaties for years but
never wanted to wet their faces or try strokes or floating. They could not
swim at all until this last summer (at ages 10, 8 and 6) when they asked me if
they could learn and take lessons from a private teacher who was gentle and
quiet in his approach (this man is a SAINT by the way, he had them swimming in
5 minutes and everything about him was so unschool friendly and affirming to
their beautiful hearts and minds; the first thing he told them was "if you
don't want to try anything just say no and we'll get around to it some other
time) The funny thing is now, after a week of lessons and a summer of swim fun
they are swimming LIKE FISH. Next summer they are joining a dive team, LOL!
It is so typical of how unschooling works. Wait till you are ready and then
when you are, you SOAR!
Anyway, a few years ago when we were still trying to be friends with these
people their kids were swimming super well (and were VERY young) and they kept
taunting my children about their float devices and not wanting to go under
water. Finally, the middle child in the family PUSHED my oldest son into the
deep end and yelled "DROWN" then started laughing. His mom went "after him" to
punish him and he jumped in the water, then every time he would come to the
surface she would yell and he would go back under so he couldn't hear. She
gave up in about 20 seconds. It was HORRIFYING. My son was totally frightened
and humiliated. It was the first time (and only time, thank goodness) he told
me he was "a loser."
We never visited with them again.
Anyway, I'm really glad that I'm not alone in the occasional alienation. It
can be very sad.
Adriana
PS please don't scold me for being a bad mom and not teaching them to swim -
I PROMISE they just weren't ready yet and I was always ULTRA ULTRA careful
around water (still am, but at least I don't have to act paranoid about it
anymore!)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/18/2006 10:02:34 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
kellmar98@... writes:
Well now at 8 she is a fish, and loves to swim.
of course she's a fish! Because you validated her need to learn when she was
ready! YOU ARE SUCH AN AWESOME MAMA!
And I do not allow my children to hold anyone under water, it's a safety
issue.......And I do not allow my children to hold anyone under water, it's a
safety issue.......<WBR>.no room for negotiation. And I
me removing the child away from my child. So you did the right thing where
these friends were concerned, and you did the right thing with letting your
kids learn to swim on their terms.
Thanks, I needed to hear that.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kellmar98@... writes:
Well now at 8 she is a fish, and loves to swim.
of course she's a fish! Because you validated her need to learn when she was
ready! YOU ARE SUCH AN AWESOME MAMA!
And I do not allow my children to hold anyone under water, it's a safety
issue.......And I do not allow my children to hold anyone under water, it's a
safety issue.......<WBR>.no room for negotiation. And I
me removing the child away from my child. So you did the right thing where
these friends were concerned, and you did the right thing with letting your
kids learn to swim on their terms.
Thanks, I needed to hear that.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly
I'm facing this issue right now. I have a friend who I connect with very
deeply. She has 2 sons, one my daughters age (3) and one 5. Her sons used to
be so kind to my daughter, before the older one started kindergarten. The
older one in particular, always made sure she was tended to, made sure she
had all the snacks, drinks, toys, etc. she could possibly want while at
their house. The younger one and she would always hold hands, and huddle
together talking about whatever it was that had their fancy in the moment.
Since the older boy started kindergarten (last fall), things have gone
dramatically downhill. The older boy is rude and mean to my daughter, he
ridicules his younger brothers (age appropriate) likes .the games he likes,
the books, television shows, cd's, you name it. Then the younger one starts
ridiculing my daughter in the same way. It was too heartbreaking to watch
her confusion at this very sudden change in the relationship. She used to
ask to see them all the time, and since the last time we were there (3 weeks
ago) she hasn't mentioned the boys once. She occasionally will still ask if
we are going to see the mom - she is very kind and aware in many ways, but
is seemingly oblivious to this change in her boys regarding my daughter -
and I just say "Not today, today we're going to see/do ___________." Ever
since the older boy started kindergarten, the mom has spent waaay too much
time talking about how the teacher loves her son, how kind he is to the
other students, how sweet he is, etc., when right in front of her she can
witness him being so unkind to my daughter.
I love this woman, but not all relationships are meant to go the distance,
and I have to accept that this may be one of those. I imagine that, if we
stay in minimal contact, then once her younger son is also in kindergarten,
we may be able to see one another again, with just my kids present. Then
again, I may be dreaming.
Any way you slice it, it's sad. But there's no way I'll value a friendship
of mine at the expense of my kids. They are beautiful, unsullied, free
beings. I'm not going to expose them to the kind of treatment that would,
clearly, cause confusion and hurt.
Kelly
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of singdoula@...
Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 4:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] losing friends
Has anyone been really great friends with a family when all your collective
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to
have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible
values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
deeply. She has 2 sons, one my daughters age (3) and one 5. Her sons used to
be so kind to my daughter, before the older one started kindergarten. The
older one in particular, always made sure she was tended to, made sure she
had all the snacks, drinks, toys, etc. she could possibly want while at
their house. The younger one and she would always hold hands, and huddle
together talking about whatever it was that had their fancy in the moment.
Since the older boy started kindergarten (last fall), things have gone
dramatically downhill. The older boy is rude and mean to my daughter, he
ridicules his younger brothers (age appropriate) likes .the games he likes,
the books, television shows, cd's, you name it. Then the younger one starts
ridiculing my daughter in the same way. It was too heartbreaking to watch
her confusion at this very sudden change in the relationship. She used to
ask to see them all the time, and since the last time we were there (3 weeks
ago) she hasn't mentioned the boys once. She occasionally will still ask if
we are going to see the mom - she is very kind and aware in many ways, but
is seemingly oblivious to this change in her boys regarding my daughter -
and I just say "Not today, today we're going to see/do ___________." Ever
since the older boy started kindergarten, the mom has spent waaay too much
time talking about how the teacher loves her son, how kind he is to the
other students, how sweet he is, etc., when right in front of her she can
witness him being so unkind to my daughter.
I love this woman, but not all relationships are meant to go the distance,
and I have to accept that this may be one of those. I imagine that, if we
stay in minimal contact, then once her younger son is also in kindergarten,
we may be able to see one another again, with just my kids present. Then
again, I may be dreaming.
Any way you slice it, it's sad. But there's no way I'll value a friendship
of mine at the expense of my kids. They are beautiful, unsullied, free
beings. I'm not going to expose them to the kind of treatment that would,
clearly, cause confusion and hurt.
Kelly
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of singdoula@...
Sent: Monday, December 18, 2006 4:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] losing friends
Has anyone been really great friends with a family when all your collective
children were little, then once the kids (from the other family) started
school you found that you couldn't socialize with them anymore? I try to
have a
really open mind and a diverse pool of friends but I won't force my children
to be around kids that are competitive, show-off, bullies with horrible
values
just because I like their parents and have known them so long that we are
practically family.
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 18, 2006, at 6:26 PM, Kelly Weyd wrote:
least repeat that.
If the parents allow their kids to get the idea that homeschooling
and schooling are equally good then the parents have no leverage to
get the kids to go to school when the kids don't want to. So the
parents *have to* tell their kids that those homeschoolers aren't
going to learn anything.
And even if kids allow themselves to believe that homeschooling and
schooling are equal, then what is the purpose of all the hard work
and dullness their parents are making them go through everyday? To
preserve their sanity they *have* to believe that what they're doing
is worth the pain and aggravation and tedium and worth giving up all
the things they'd rather be doing.
And the parents believe school is necessary for that that reason too.
If playing all day will prepare kids for life as well as school, then
what was the purpose of those 12+ years of their own childhoods they
sacrificed for school?
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> One day the girls came in the house and told me that one of theYou might also want to talk about why the kids believe that or at
> neighborhood kids said that if you homeschool you are not learning
> anything. It's one kid in particular that keeps saying these kinds
> of things to them......he is seriously misinformed. So I've
> discussed with my kids that they are learning!
least repeat that.
If the parents allow their kids to get the idea that homeschooling
and schooling are equally good then the parents have no leverage to
get the kids to go to school when the kids don't want to. So the
parents *have to* tell their kids that those homeschoolers aren't
going to learn anything.
And even if kids allow themselves to believe that homeschooling and
schooling are equal, then what is the purpose of all the hard work
and dullness their parents are making them go through everyday? To
preserve their sanity they *have* to believe that what they're doing
is worth the pain and aggravation and tedium and worth giving up all
the things they'd rather be doing.
And the parents believe school is necessary for that that reason too.
If playing all day will prepare kids for life as well as school, then
what was the purpose of those 12+ years of their own childhoods they
sacrificed for school?
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
I just wanted to pull this out of context 'cause it is sums up unschooling
so well. And is a good thing to remember when you are feeling like nothing
is happening. A lot is always going on that you just may not be seeing.
so well. And is a good thing to remember when you are feeling like nothing
is happening. A lot is always going on that you just may not be seeing.
> Wait till you are ready and then when you are, you SOAR!Schuyler
Melynda Laurent
OH MY! We had a similar swim experience- when odd was 5 we tried lessons at
the Y, the teacher was old and mean. ODD would NOT out her face in the
water, I knew she would when she was ready, not forced. So on the last day
of lessons (she chose to keep going) the teacher meanly said to her "if you
don;t out your face in the water you won't pass this class" She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
Melynda
the Y, the teacher was old and mean. ODD would NOT out her face in the
water, I knew she would when she was ready, not forced. So on the last day
of lessons (she chose to keep going) the teacher meanly said to her "if you
don;t out your face in the water you won't pass this class" She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
Melynda
laura g
I'm facing this issue right now. I have a friend who I connect with very
and see the same behavior in many of the kids. to the degree that i thought
about taking my son out but he really liked going so i didnt. i signed him
up for next semester but havnt descided. there are 2 or 3 older boys in the
group that have younger siblings and treat them awfully. then the younger
kids who are my kids ages do the same things to anyone they dont know well.
Since the parents just drop them off and leave before class even starts they
dont see any of it and truthfully when they are there they dont see it
either or think it is normal behavior. my older son does tease my younger
(5 and 4) sometimes and i think that is normal but he is not cruel and i
talk to him about how he makes others feel.
one thing i have noticed in the past 6 months or so is that my older son
does get a little bossy sometimes with the 3 year olds that come over. he
really likes video games and they cant play them and it bugs him. i think
he gets frustrated because he would rather one his older friends were there.
but sometimes that is not easy to arrange.
_________________________________________________________________
Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. �Who will win?
http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001
>deeply. She has 2 sons, one my daughters age (3) and one 5. Her sons usedi started taking my ds to gymnastics last year with an homeschooling group
>to
>be so kind to my daughter, before the older one started kindergarten. The
>older one in particular, always made sure she was tended to, made sure she
>had all the snacks, drinks, toys, etc. she could possibly want while at
>their house. The younger one and she would always hold hands, and huddle
>together talking about whatever it was that had their fancy in the moment.
>Since the older boy started kindergarten (last fall), things have gone
>dramatically downhill. The older boy is rude and mean to my daughter, he
>ridicules his younger brothers (age appropriate) likes .the games he likes,
>the books, television shows, cd's, you name it. Then the younger one starts
>ridiculing my daughter in the same way. It was too heartbreaking to watch
>her confusion at this very sudden change in the relationship. She used to
>ask to see them all the time, and since the last time we were there (3
>weeks
>ago) she hasn't mentioned the boys once. She occasionally will still ask if
>we are going to see the mom - she is very kind and aware in many ways, but
>is seemingly oblivious to this change in her boys regarding my daughter -
>and I just say "Not today, today we're going to see/do ___________." Ever
>since the older boy started kindergarten, the mom has spent waaay too much
>time talking about how the teacher loves her son, how kind he is to the
>other students, how sweet he is, etc., when right in front of her she can
>witness him being so unkind to my daughter.
and see the same behavior in many of the kids. to the degree that i thought
about taking my son out but he really liked going so i didnt. i signed him
up for next semester but havnt descided. there are 2 or 3 older boys in the
group that have younger siblings and treat them awfully. then the younger
kids who are my kids ages do the same things to anyone they dont know well.
Since the parents just drop them off and leave before class even starts they
dont see any of it and truthfully when they are there they dont see it
either or think it is normal behavior. my older son does tease my younger
(5 and 4) sometimes and i think that is normal but he is not cruel and i
talk to him about how he makes others feel.
one thing i have noticed in the past 6 months or so is that my older son
does get a little bossy sometimes with the 3 year olds that come over. he
really likes video games and they cant play them and it bugs him. i think
he gets frustrated because he would rather one his older friends were there.
but sometimes that is not easy to arrange.
_________________________________________________________________
Dave vs. Carl: The Insignificant Championship Series. �Who will win?
http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://davevscarl.spaces.live.com/?icid=T001MSN38C07001
Kelly Weyd
Good Points! When my own 8 year old daughter told me she was "DONE" with school I listened, but obviously most parents don't listen. My daughter had already tuned out so to speak. I'm so glad I listened to her. PS was pure torture for her.
Kelly
Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...> wrote:
Kelly
Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...> wrote:
On Dec 18, 2006, at 6:26 PM, Kelly Weyd wrote:
> One day the girls came in the house and told me that one of the
> neighborhood kids said that if you homeschool you are not learning
> anything. It's one kid in particular that keeps saying these kinds
> of things to them......he is seriously misinformed. So I've
> discussed with my kids that they are learning!
You might also want to talk about why the kids believe that or at
least repeat that.
If the parents allow their kids to get the idea that homeschooling
and schooling are equally good then the parents have no leverage to
get the kids to go to school when the kids don't want to. So the
parents *have to* tell their kids that those homeschoolers aren't
going to learn anything.
And even if kids allow themselves to believe that homeschooling and
schooling are equal, then what is the purpose of all the hard work
and dullness their parents are making them go through everyday? To
preserve their sanity they *have* to believe that what they're doing
is worth the pain and aggravation and tedium and worth giving up all
the things they'd rather be doing.
And the parents believe school is necessary for that that reason too.
If playing all day will prepare kids for life as well as school, then
what was the purpose of those 12+ years of their own childhoods they
sacrificed for school?
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
Good for her!
Kelly
Melynda Laurent <melyndalaurent@...> wrote:
OH MY! We had a similar swim experience- when odd was 5 we tried lessons at
the Y, the teacher was old and mean. ODD would NOT out her face in the
water, I knew she would when she was ready, not forced. So on the last day
of lessons (she chose to keep going) the teacher meanly said to her "if you
don;t out your face in the water you won't pass this class" She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
Melynda
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly
Melynda Laurent <melyndalaurent@...> wrote:
OH MY! We had a similar swim experience- when odd was 5 we tried lessons at
the Y, the teacher was old and mean. ODD would NOT out her face in the
water, I knew she would when she was ready, not forced. So on the last day
of lessons (she chose to keep going) the teacher meanly said to her "if you
don;t out your face in the water you won't pass this class" She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
Melynda
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/19/2006 8:58:05 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
melyndalaurent@... writes:
She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
welcome to the club of unschooled FISH and thank you for making me literally
LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
melyndalaurent@... writes:
She got up,
looked at him and said "I don't know what pass is but I am not putting my
face in the water" You should have seen the look on his face! We left LOL I
laughed the whole way home- I was so proud of her! FWIW she is now at 7 a
fish!
welcome to the club of unschooled FISH and thank you for making me literally
LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!
Adriana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]