Sorry Another College Entrance Question...
Sandy
My son DOES want to go to community college at age 16 (of his own
volition yet he hates to read books (he "reads" all the time playing
computer games, browsing articles, etc.) and hates doing math, doesn't
hardly remember grammar,etc... and I do not blame him after what he
has been through. Given that, here is my question:
If I never say a word, and I don't say, "You know if you 'really' want
to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
ready by age 16." Is it possible to study for a few months prior and
learn what is needed to pass?
My husband and I never have pushed that college is the end all be all
of life, our children both know that there are tons of options to
choose from, we just want them happy. I suppose deep down there is a
little fear that in four years from now he'll say, "Thanks for nothing
Mom. You put my education on my shoulders and told me that I didn't
have to write, read, do math and now I want to go to college and this
stuff is too hard to learn." The fear is having my children blame me
if they ever do want to go to college and for some reason, they are
disappointed in me as their mother for not properly preparing them.
KWIM?
Maybe some of you who have overcome that can give me some words of
wisdom.
Thanks
~Sandy (I do not judge success on going to college, this is basically
a "just in case" type of question.)
volition yet he hates to read books (he "reads" all the time playing
computer games, browsing articles, etc.) and hates doing math, doesn't
hardly remember grammar,etc... and I do not blame him after what he
has been through. Given that, here is my question:
If I never say a word, and I don't say, "You know if you 'really' want
to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
ready by age 16." Is it possible to study for a few months prior and
learn what is needed to pass?
My husband and I never have pushed that college is the end all be all
of life, our children both know that there are tons of options to
choose from, we just want them happy. I suppose deep down there is a
little fear that in four years from now he'll say, "Thanks for nothing
Mom. You put my education on my shoulders and told me that I didn't
have to write, read, do math and now I want to go to college and this
stuff is too hard to learn." The fear is having my children blame me
if they ever do want to go to college and for some reason, they are
disappointed in me as their mother for not properly preparing them.
KWIM?
Maybe some of you who have overcome that can give me some words of
wisdom.
Thanks
~Sandy (I do not judge success on going to college, this is basically
a "just in case" type of question.)
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 11/10/06, Sandy <sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
may not have said that college was the end all be all of life, but
somewhere he got that notion. I remember in the past you had concerns
about your son wanting to take his GED at a very young age and go to
college. Yet what is his ultimate goal? College just for college's
sake is not going to fulfill him. You have many years yet to concern
yourself with his college "needs" and that's a lot of years of
deschooling and unschooling and for him to accept that he can make
choices in his life. This current choice is still based on some
schoolish notion most likely. Also, if I am recalling correctly,
didn't your son want to go to college to prove himself somehow to his
father? I'm wondering if that is still a major factor in his thought
process and until that relationship is working better in an
unschooling environment this may continue to be an issue.
What is it that your son wants out of college other than to go? Does
he have a grand goal in mind? A future Doogie Howser or the youngest
Harvard Business grad? :) Is he already focused on his adult life
that he has forgotten how to be a kid? Is childhood such a bad place
to be that he has to hurry up and become an adult? Or is he just
anxious to be a veterinarian or concert pianist or playwright? :)
Give him time (lots of time) to deschool and talk in terms of today,
here, now, this moment.
Michelle
> My son DOES want to go to community college at age 16 (of his ownDeschool deschool deschool deschool. I can't say that enough. YOU
> volition yet he hates to read books (he "reads" all the time playing
> computer games, browsing articles, etc.) and hates doing math, doesn't
> hardly remember grammar,etc... and I do not blame him after what he
> has been through. Given that, here is my question:
>
> If I never say a word, and I don't say, "You know if you 'really' want
> to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
> mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
> ready by age 16." Is it possible to study for a few months prior and
> learn what is needed to pass?
>
may not have said that college was the end all be all of life, but
somewhere he got that notion. I remember in the past you had concerns
about your son wanting to take his GED at a very young age and go to
college. Yet what is his ultimate goal? College just for college's
sake is not going to fulfill him. You have many years yet to concern
yourself with his college "needs" and that's a lot of years of
deschooling and unschooling and for him to accept that he can make
choices in his life. This current choice is still based on some
schoolish notion most likely. Also, if I am recalling correctly,
didn't your son want to go to college to prove himself somehow to his
father? I'm wondering if that is still a major factor in his thought
process and until that relationship is working better in an
unschooling environment this may continue to be an issue.
What is it that your son wants out of college other than to go? Does
he have a grand goal in mind? A future Doogie Howser or the youngest
Harvard Business grad? :) Is he already focused on his adult life
that he has forgotten how to be a kid? Is childhood such a bad place
to be that he has to hurry up and become an adult? Or is he just
anxious to be a veterinarian or concert pianist or playwright? :)
Give him time (lots of time) to deschool and talk in terms of today,
here, now, this moment.
Michelle
Sandy
--- In [email protected], "Michelle Leifur Reid" <
Also, if I am recalling correctly,
issue as to why he still wants to go.
interest in lung cancer because many of our relatives have died of
lunch cancer. Then he found out that he has a millionaire doctor for
a Great Uncle and he got all excited about the financial aspect of
being a doctor but that passed and that is fine.
Is he already focused on his adult life
about that and we'll try to refocus.
Give him time (lots of time) to deschool and talk in terms of today,
deschool as well. I just read an article by Alison McKee about
unschooling and college, it really helped.
~Sandy
> >We still are in the completely deschooling mode. :-)
>
> Deschool deschool deschool deschool.
Also, if I am recalling correctly,
> didn't your son want to go to college to prove himself somehow to hisYes, you recalled correctly and that very well could be an underlying
> father? I'm wondering if that is still a major factor in his thought
> process and until that relationship is working better in an
> unschooling environment this may continue to be an issue.
issue as to why he still wants to go.
> What is it that your son wants out of college other than to go? DoesLOL, no although he did want to be a doctor for a bit when he took
> he have a grand goal in mind? A future Doogie Howser or the youngest
> Harvard Business grad? :)
interest in lung cancer because many of our relatives have died of
lunch cancer. Then he found out that he has a millionaire doctor for
a Great Uncle and he got all excited about the financial aspect of
being a doctor but that passed and that is fine.
Is he already focused on his adult life
> that he has forgotten how to be a kid?I never thought about that being one of the reasons and I'll ask him
about that and we'll try to refocus.
Give him time (lots of time) to deschool and talk in terms of today,
> here, now, this moment.Will do...and that is also why I'm posting questions, to help myself
deschool as well. I just read an article by Alison McKee about
unschooling and college, it really helped.
~Sandy
Joyce Fetteroll
On Nov 10, 2006, at 3:00 PM, Sandy wrote:
do something he isn't passionate about can have the opposite effect.
He might decide that he wants nothing to do with college because he's
associating it with the prodding. It's why nagging doesn't work. ;-)
reach that goal. Yes, kids have decided they want to go to college
and gone through formal math in a few months.
It might be more helpful, *when he's ready* to take community college
courses for fun. Forget about the preparation courses. Let him find
reasons to keep exploring. And then if college looks like it might be
helpful in getting him where he wants to go, then he'll be motivated
to do what he needs to do.
date is making the pressure build inside of him, he's more likely to
focus on how much he hates the pressure than focusing on being happy
and exploring what interests him.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> "You know if you 'really' wantYou might also want to see that by poking at him to try to get him to
> to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
> mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
> ready by age 16."
do something he isn't passionate about can have the opposite effect.
He might decide that he wants nothing to do with college because he's
associating it with the prodding. It's why nagging doesn't work. ;-)
> Is it possible to study for a few months prior andIt's possible to set your mind on a goal and do what's necessary to
> learn what is needed to pass?
reach that goal. Yes, kids have decided they want to go to college
and gone through formal math in a few months.
It might be more helpful, *when he's ready* to take community college
courses for fun. Forget about the preparation courses. Let him find
reasons to keep exploring. And then if college looks like it might be
helpful in getting him where he wants to go, then he'll be motivated
to do what he needs to do.
> ready by age 16It will also be helpful to let go of that deadline. If a certain
date is making the pressure build inside of him, he's more likely to
focus on how much he hates the pressure than focusing on being happy
and exploring what interests him.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: sereneaspirations@...
My son DOES want to go to community college at age 16 (of his own
volition yet he hates to read books (he "reads" all the time playing
computer games, browsing articles, etc.) and hates doing math, doesn't
hardly remember grammar,etc... and I do not blame him after what he
has been through. Given that, here is my question:
-=-=-=-=-
Before I get to *your* question, answer mine:
*WHY* does he want to go t o community college?
-=-==-=-=-
If I never say a word, and I don't say, "You know if you 'really' want
to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
ready by age 16."
-==--=-=-
*Have* you been saying those things?
-=-=-=-=-
Is it possible to study for a few months prior and
learn what is needed to pass?
-=-=-=-=-
Do you think all schooled kids have a clue when they start community
college?
To *pass*, you should be learning that stuff IN the class you're
taking, NOT before you start.
You mean to get IN? Sure---There are books and classes and computer
programs on how to study for thte SAT and all sorts of other
standardized tests.
-=-=-=-=-
My husband and I never have pushed that college is the end all be all
of life, our children both know that there are tons of options to
choose from, we just want them happy. I suppose deep down there is a
little fear that in four years from now he'll say, "Thanks for nothing
Mom. You put my education on my shoulders and told me that I didn't
have to write, read, do math and now I want to go to college and this
stuff is too hard to learn."
-=-=-=-
So you're thinking that, if you say these things, it'll be HIS fault if
he doesn't follow through? At least *you* could say, "I told you so!"
???
-=-=-=-=-
The fear is having my children blame me
if they ever do want to go to college and for some reason, they are
disappointed in me as their mother for not properly preparing them.
KWIM?
Maybe some of you who have overcome that can give me some words of
wisdom.
-=-=-=-
Well, I didn't have to overcome that. My father always told me I could
do/be whatever I wanted to. He encouraged me to try new things. He
exposed me to as much of the world as he was capable of. He modelled an
interested and interesting life full of strange things and sometimes
even stranger people!
So, with my own boys, I figured I'd so the same. Childhood is NOT a
dress rehearsal: what he does now WILL effect his future---but not in
the way you and he think it will. The the idea that learning is good
and available and valuable and that is it what humans DO is more
important than the facts and figures you'd be taught in school. That we
are *always* learning and can stop and change and try something new,
that learning is fun and exciting and inspirational, that learning
doesn't LOOK like school subjects---these are what he should be
learning now---he'll GET the math and grammar and geography through
LIVING a rich, full life.
-=-=-=-=-=
Thanks
~Sandy (I do not judge success on going to college, this is basically
a "just in case" type of question.)
-=-=-=-
Schools THRIVE on "just in case". That's not unschooling. In
unschooling, we KNOW that we will lear what we need to learn when we
need to learn it. It's HOW humans learn.
~Kelly
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
From: sereneaspirations@...
My son DOES want to go to community college at age 16 (of his own
volition yet he hates to read books (he "reads" all the time playing
computer games, browsing articles, etc.) and hates doing math, doesn't
hardly remember grammar,etc... and I do not blame him after what he
has been through. Given that, here is my question:
-=-=-=-=-
Before I get to *your* question, answer mine:
*WHY* does he want to go t o community college?
-=-==-=-=-
If I never say a word, and I don't say, "You know if you 'really' want
to go to college, you should study on how to do paper math as well as
mental and learn grammar terminology and vocabulary now so that your
ready by age 16."
-==--=-=-
*Have* you been saying those things?
-=-=-=-=-
Is it possible to study for a few months prior and
learn what is needed to pass?
-=-=-=-=-
Do you think all schooled kids have a clue when they start community
college?
To *pass*, you should be learning that stuff IN the class you're
taking, NOT before you start.
You mean to get IN? Sure---There are books and classes and computer
programs on how to study for thte SAT and all sorts of other
standardized tests.
-=-=-=-=-
My husband and I never have pushed that college is the end all be all
of life, our children both know that there are tons of options to
choose from, we just want them happy. I suppose deep down there is a
little fear that in four years from now he'll say, "Thanks for nothing
Mom. You put my education on my shoulders and told me that I didn't
have to write, read, do math and now I want to go to college and this
stuff is too hard to learn."
-=-=-=-
So you're thinking that, if you say these things, it'll be HIS fault if
he doesn't follow through? At least *you* could say, "I told you so!"
???
-=-=-=-=-
The fear is having my children blame me
if they ever do want to go to college and for some reason, they are
disappointed in me as their mother for not properly preparing them.
KWIM?
Maybe some of you who have overcome that can give me some words of
wisdom.
-=-=-=-
Well, I didn't have to overcome that. My father always told me I could
do/be whatever I wanted to. He encouraged me to try new things. He
exposed me to as much of the world as he was capable of. He modelled an
interested and interesting life full of strange things and sometimes
even stranger people!
So, with my own boys, I figured I'd so the same. Childhood is NOT a
dress rehearsal: what he does now WILL effect his future---but not in
the way you and he think it will. The the idea that learning is good
and available and valuable and that is it what humans DO is more
important than the facts and figures you'd be taught in school. That we
are *always* learning and can stop and change and try something new,
that learning is fun and exciting and inspirational, that learning
doesn't LOOK like school subjects---these are what he should be
learning now---he'll GET the math and grammar and geography through
LIVING a rich, full life.
-=-=-=-=-=
Thanks
~Sandy (I do not judge success on going to college, this is basically
a "just in case" type of question.)
-=-=-=-
Schools THRIVE on "just in case". That's not unschooling. In
unschooling, we KNOW that we will lear what we need to learn when we
need to learn it. It's HOW humans learn.
~Kelly
________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
across the web, free AOL Mail and more.