Sandy

I have met many of you online before and was encouraged by your words,
but then, I'd get into reading stupid articles in opposition to
unschooling and panic about my children and to top it off my DH,
because he refused to read anything about unschooling was pressuring
me to schedule the children and I caved. Let me go ahead and say this,
"Yes, you told me so."

Needless to say, the worst has happened and my 12yo ds HATES learning
even though I was doing what was considered a relaxed and gentle
approach...the Charlotte Mason Method. He never fought me or anything
like that and did great with his lessons, but after 3 hours of
learning he was finished for the day. I know that this doesn't happen
to all children who are "forced" to learn, I know many thriving,
happy, curious home schooled children who love learning everything
despite being forced...BUT that isn't true for my son. Monday, as I
watched him doing three digit multiplication, I was hit with this very
sick feeling...WHY the heck does he need to do 3 digit multiplication?
I was even sicker seeing that he hated learning so much that he
doesn't even want to do a fun Claymation short with a homeschool
friend of ours, he is very resistant.

Because I HAD BEEN so damn wishy-washy over the past four years after
pulling him from school, we haven't accomplished that much. Even the
math he was doing was from a 4th grade text because we never finished
anything else, spelling, writing the same way. I can't change the
past but I am asking for your help in changing the future. The only
reason that I finally feel that I will be able to stick with this now
is because I've grown stronger in myself and I wasn't there before...I
am now.

My husband has FULLY agreed to deschooling and this morning I am
announcing that to the children. I'm also sending him an email
article a week about deschooling to read to keep him on track. He IS
going to need help with this and I'll be doing the same for myself. I
figure that Zak will need about 7-8 months. Our dd is 8 and I don't
want to make the same mistake with her either.

Anyway, just wanted to reintroduce myself. Sandy Winn, 36 yo wife of
15 years (almost) to Donnie and mother to Zak 12, and Brooke 8 in
Penscola, FL.

Michelle Leifur Reid

On 11/1/06, Sandy <sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
> Monday, as I
> watched him doing three digit multiplication, I was hit with this very
> sick feeling...WHY the heck does he need to do 3 digit multiplication?

He doesn't! And that was a wonderful observation!! I question just
about anything that I haven't needed to use in my real life day to day
adult experience. I figure if one of my kids wants to go on to do
higher math then it will be because s/he has an interest in higher
math and will excel at it because s/he has an interest!

> Anyway, just wanted to reintroduce myself. Sandy Winn, 36 yo wife of
> 15 years (almost) to Donnie and mother to Zak 12, and Brooke 8 in
> Penscola, FL.

Welcome back, Sandy!

Michelle

Ren Allen

"Because I HAD BEEN so damn wishy-washy over the past four years after
pulling him from school, we haven't accomplished that much."

Try not to see it that way. Life isn't about "accomplishing" anyway,
it's about the journey. He HAS been learning in spite of your attempts
to sidetrack him from his interests.;)

People learn if they're alive. Your job now is to honor ALL of his
interests even if it doesn't look like learning to you. Video games,
movies...ALL of it. I know you have this logically, but if you get
into a moment of panic just come talk to everyone here and it will
subside eventually.

He's going to be fine. The sooner you let all the lessons go, the
faster he can get on with what truly interests him. Be his partner.
Don't declare today "deschooling" just declare it a vacation. Take a
vacation from school and lessons today and try to make today the most
FUN it can be. The vacation might just turn into a lifestyle and then
you'll be unschooling!:)

Glad to have you back Sandy.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

julie

--- In [email protected], "Sandy"
<sereneaspirations@...> wrote:


..." and did great with his lessons, but after 3 hours of
> learning he was finished for the day."
maybe you mean, 3 hours is a really long time for
being taught.
And that's true, 3 hours is a
really long "class" for anyone.
I was never able to do the 3 hr classes in
college.


>" after
> pulling him from school, we haven't accomplished that much."
I know it's easier said than done at first, but don't worry
about accomplishing. If you're worried about accomplishing
something, dive into something that YOU love to do or learn
about. Not to model or anything, just to enjoy your own life
more (and to stop worrying about what your son is doing or not
doing.)
And stay away from the anti unschooling articles! I only read
stuff that will support me as I learn about this. It's part
of my own "support system" for myself. :)
Anyway, welcome back!
~Julie.

dana_burdick

>to top it off my DH,
>because he refused to read anything about unschooling was pressuring
>me to schedule the children and I caved.

Is this true? Was your husband's refusal to read really the thing
that caused you to cave?

My husband didn't read either and I blamed him frequently for us not
getting closer to unschooling. There was much frustration and
blame. The big shift came when I consciously applied the
unschooling principle of trust to my husband. I began to trust that
my husband knew what was best for him. I trusted that he should not
read about unschooling, because he wasn't. Once I accepted this, I
realized that it was *I* who was resisting unschooling and was using
my husband as a scapegoat. On the surface, I was "knowledgeable"
from all my reading. However, I had clearly not internalized it. I
was expecting my husband to somehow do something that I couldn't
even do myself. Once I looked to myself to make the changes, my
husband began to imperceptivity make changes in his own thinking and
actions. Unschooling blossomed and I learned that it really was
unnecessary for my husband to read a thing about unschooling for
things to work. It was actually a beautiful and humble way to
emerge into unschooling; what better way to show me how unschooling
works than to see it working through my life-long partner.

-Dana

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: sereneaspirations@...

Let me go ahead and say this, "Yes, you told me so."

-=-=-=

OOOH! I *love* to hear that! <bweg>

-=-=-=-=-=

Monday, as I
watched him doing three digit multiplication, I was hit with this very
sick feeling...WHY the heck does he need to do 3 digit multiplication?

-=-=-=-

Big eye-opener. Good!

-=-=-=-=-=-

I was even sicker seeing that he hated learning so much that he
doesn't even want to do a fun Claymation short with a homeschool
friend of ours, he is very resistant.

-=-=-=-

Cameron went through that too---even *fun* learning was a chore.

It's painful to witness, isn't it?

Broke my heart. He was so bright and curious and interested in so
much. All dashed. Damaged beyond recognition.

-=-=-=-=-

I figure that Zak will need about 7-8 months.

-=-=-=-

I think you're deluding yourself.

Brace yourself!

I think you're going to need longer.

Schools do some horrible damage. But school-at-home can be worse. It's
bad enough when the teachers and principal and other kids aren't
respectful or trustworthy---but when it's your own *mom*?

Be patient. It may take longer than you think. Set your sights on more
than a year. If it's shorter---COOL! But don't be surprised if he
struggles for a while. It takes time to heal.

For *you* too! Take time to explore your interests. Deschool yourself.
You may take longer than *he* does.


~Kelly

"Wisdom begins with Wonder." ~Socrates


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Kelly Weyd

Since the Holidays are coming up I would just spend a few months baking, decorating, reading about traditions that you do in your family, making crafts, etc........or not. Maybe just doing nothing is what everyone needs. We are still in the de-schooling stage ourselves. I have girls 6 & 8. Believe it or not it's the 6 year old that needs the de-schooling. My 8 year old was made for unschooling so she is loving it and has not looked back. Now me six year old just said to me yesterday, "Mommy you aren't teaching me anything". So she needs more de-schooling.
Kelly

Sandy <sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
I have met many of you online before and was encouraged by your words,
but then, I'd get into reading stupid articles in opposition to
unschooling and panic about my children and to top it off my DH,
because he refused to read anything about unschooling was pressuring
me to schedule the children and I caved. Let me go ahead and say this,
"Yes, you told me so."

Needless to say, the worst has happened and my 12yo ds HATES learning
even though I was doing what was considered a relaxed and gentle
approach...the Charlotte Mason Method. He never fought me or anything
like that and did great with his lessons, but after 3 hours of
learning he was finished for the day. I know that this doesn't happen
to all children who are "forced" to learn, I know many thriving,
happy, curious home schooled children who love learning everything
despite being forced...BUT that isn't true for my son. Monday, as I
watched him doing three digit multiplication, I was hit with this very
sick feeling...WHY the heck does he need to do 3 digit multiplication?
I was even sicker seeing that he hated learning so much that he
doesn't even want to do a fun Claymation short with a homeschool
friend of ours, he is very resistant.

Because I HAD BEEN so damn wishy-washy over the past four years after
pulling him from school, we haven't accomplished that much. Even the
math he was doing was from a 4th grade text because we never finished
anything else, spelling, writing the same way. I can't change the
past but I am asking for your help in changing the future. The only
reason that I finally feel that I will be able to stick with this now
is because I've grown stronger in myself and I wasn't there before...I
am now.

My husband has FULLY agreed to deschooling and this morning I am
announcing that to the children. I'm also sending him an email
article a week about deschooling to read to keep him on track. He IS
going to need help with this and I'll be doing the same for myself. I
figure that Zak will need about 7-8 months. Our dd is 8 and I don't
want to make the same mistake with her either.

Anyway, just wanted to reintroduce myself. Sandy Winn, 36 yo wife of
15 years (almost) to Donnie and mother to Zak 12, and Brooke 8 in
Penscola, FL.






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