Su

Okay, I have 4 kids ages 9, 7, 4.5, & 1.5. We have done attachment
parenting since birth and that and my daughter's own desire led us to
unschooling. I didn't want to spend 8 hours away from her and felt
that if she was going to be taught then I would be the best person to
do that. Now I feel that it is the opposite and she is my teacher and
I the student and that works pretty well. She just learns what she
wants to and the others follow suit. We have never done a curriculum
and we don't want to. We have just let her and our subsiquent children
just live in our lives an be completely present and welcome there. But
over the last 4 years I had been sinking deeper and deeper into a
terrible depression, winters are always harder. We moved to a
different house, in the city instead of in the country where I had
started to feel really isolated, we lived there for 5 years: 4 months
ago we moved and that helped a lot. And recently I found out that I
have severe hypothyroidism. So I am starting a holistic treatment plan
I had made for my mom last year when she was diagnosed and she
wouldn't do it so... I should be improving soon. It has been hard on
the kids and my marriage. But thankfully my marriage survived and is
now better than ever, but with the kids it is so hard to get back to
that place we were. One thing I have tried and am working on is just
DECIDING that I will be a joyful parent and finding more joy in daily
life. That has helped a bunch but man it is hard to get 5 ppl fed(my
husband fends for himself) with no $, and play and wash clothes(we
don't really clean so that is about it).
Anyway, I have really dug myself into a hole with my kids. I have not
treated them very well in the last year or two especially. I get angry
very easily and I am always incredibly tired.
I want to know what are some concrete steps I can do to start
connecting with them on the level we used to and maybe they need a
little demommying;). I am with them all the time but things right now
are really drawn on the line of kids on one side and adults the other.
There didn't used to be a line but now it is hard to cross. Also, we
get a lot of flack from the homeschoolers in our town because they
feel since my oldest isn't reading yet (9yrs) then unschooling doesn't
work. I don't believe this but also I feel that I have not been
playing, reading, strewing, exploring, enough with them. I have kind
of forgotten how. I am just so tired all the time, I get really
overwhelmed with things. I am starting a unschooling group in my area.
There are only 3 or 4 of us that I know of but I am sure it will grow.
I want the kids to have a core group that we can rely on not to judge
us.
Any advice?
Su

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/17/2006 6:40:13 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

I want to know what are some concrete steps I can do to start
connecting with them on the level we used to and maybe they need a
little demommying;)little demommying;)<WBR>. I am with them all the t
are really drawn on the line of kids on one side and adults the other.<<<<<<

Maybe start small. See what they are interested in right now and ask a
question or find something cool that relates to that. They may see your interest
as wanting to reconnect. Maybe talking to them. Explain about your thyroid
problems and how that has made you feel, how it has sort of controlled your
mood, your behavior etc and that you want to change all that. That you want
to reconnect with them, etc. Also maybe finding your own interest or passion
and taking some time for that.

Also I know an unschooling friend who is also working with a thyroid
problem. She does know what it is like to have no energy etc. So if you would like
to talk with her just let me know and I will put you in touch. Sometimes it
helps to know you are not alone.

Pam G






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I can't wait to read the replies to this post! I think that sometimes all of
us feel like we fall into that slump and need some fresh perspective. Thanks
for posting, Su, and I'll keep reading!
Karen

Quoting Su <ikylilgrl@...>:

> Okay, I have 4 kids ages 9, 7, 4.5, & 1.5. We have done attachment
> parenting since birth and that and my daughter's own desire led us to
> unschooling. I didn't want to spend 8 hours away from her and felt
> that if she was going to be taught then I would be the best person to
> do that. Now I feel that it is the opposite and she is my teacher and
> I the student and that works pretty well. She just learns what she
> wants to and the others follow suit. We have never done a curriculum
> and we don't want to. We have just let her and our subsiquent children
> just live in our lives an be completely present and welcome there. But
> over the last 4 years I had been sinking deeper and deeper into a
> terrible depression, winters are always harder. We moved to a
> different house, in the city instead of in the country where I had
> started to feel really isolated, we lived there for 5 years: 4 months
> ago we moved and that helped a lot. And recently I found out that I
> have severe hypothyroidism. So I am starting a holistic treatment plan
> I had made for my mom last year when she was diagnosed and she
> wouldn't do it so... I should be improving soon. It has been hard on
> the kids and my marriage. But thankfully my marriage survived and is
> now better than ever, but with the kids it is so hard to get back to
> that place we were. One thing I have tried and am working on is just
> DECIDING that I will be a joyful parent and finding more joy in daily
> life. That has helped a bunch but man it is hard to get 5 ppl fed(my
> husband fends for himself) with no $, and play and wash clothes(we
> don't really clean so that is about it).
> Anyway, I have really dug myself into a hole with my kids. I have not
> treated them very well in the last year or two especially. I get angry
> very easily and I am always incredibly tired.
> I want to know what are some concrete steps I can do to start
> connecting with them on the level we used to and maybe they need a
> little demommying;). I am with them all the time but things right now
> are really drawn on the line of kids on one side and adults the other.
> There didn't used to be a line but now it is hard to cross. Also, we
> get a lot of flack from the homeschoolers in our town because they
> feel since my oldest isn't reading yet (9yrs) then unschooling doesn't
> work. I don't believe this but also I feel that I have not been
> playing, reading, strewing, exploring, enough with them. I have kind
> of forgotten how. I am just so tired all the time, I get really
> overwhelmed with things. I am starting a unschooling group in my area.
> There are only 3 or 4 of us that I know of but I am sure it will grow.
> I want the kids to have a core group that we can rely on not to judge
> us.
> Any advice?
> Su
>
>
>
>
>
>

Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky

Su ,
Sorry I don't have time to answer 'cause it would be long. I think once you are physically and mentally ( less stress too!) strong again it will all come back to you.
Take care of you and get well...it will follow.
You already have the consciousness and that is the big step.
I am going thru something similar ( different reasons and ailments) but I am getting better.
But we got to work hard at getting the body healed and strong for our beautiful kids.
Alex



----- Original Message -----
From: Su
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, September 16, 2006 3:37 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Question (very long)


Okay, I have 4 kids ages 9, 7, 4.5, & 1.5. We have done attachment
parenting since birth and that and my daughter's own desire led us to
unschooling. I didn't want to spend 8 hours away from her and felt
that if she was going to be taught then I would be the best person to
do that. Now I feel that it is the opposite and she is my teacher and
I the student and that works pretty well. She just learns what she
wants to and the others follow suit. We have never done a curriculum
and we don't want to. We have just let her and our subsiquent children
just live in our lives an be completely present and welcome there. But
over the last 4 years I had been sinking deeper and deeper into a
terrible depression, winters are always harder. We moved to a
different house, in the city instead of in the country where I had
started to feel really isolated, we lived there for 5 years: 4 months
ago we moved and that helped a lot. And recently I found out that I
have severe hypothyroidism. So I am starting a holistic treatment plan
I had made for my mom last year when she was diagnosed and she
wouldn't do it so... I should be improving soon. It has been hard on
the kids and my marriage. But thankfully my marriage survived and is
now better than ever, but with the kids it is so hard to get back to
that place we were. One thing I have tried and am working on is just
DECIDING that I will be a joyful parent and finding more joy in daily
life. That has helped a bunch but man it is hard to get 5 ppl fed(my
husband fends for himself) with no $, and play and wash clothes(we
don't really clean so that is about it).
Anyway, I have really dug myself into a hole with my kids. I have not
treated them very well in the last year or two especially. I get angry
very easily and I am always incredibly tired.
I want to know what are some concrete steps I can do to start
connecting with them on the level we used to and maybe they need a
little demommying;). I am with them all the time but things right now
are really drawn on the line of kids on one side and adults the other.
There didn't used to be a line but now it is hard to cross. Also, we
get a lot of flack from the homeschoolers in our town because they
feel since my oldest isn't reading yet (9yrs) then unschooling doesn't
work. I don't believe this but also I feel that I have not been
playing, reading, strewing, exploring, enough with them. I have kind
of forgotten how. I am just so tired all the time, I get really
overwhelmed with things. I am starting a unschooling group in my area.
There are only 3 or 4 of us that I know of but I am sure it will grow.
I want the kids to have a core group that we can rely on not to judge
us.
Any advice?
Su





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

"One thing I have tried and am working on is just
DECIDING that I will be a joyful parent and finding more joy in daily
life. That has helped a bunch but man it is hard to get 5 ppl fed(my
husband fends for himself) with no $, and play and wash clothes(we
don't really clean so that is about it)."

Deciding to find the beauty and joy in the moment is huge!
I think you're on the right track.

When money is tight, we try to find joy in the simple things....a loaf
of homemade bread makes me feel so abundant, even without much in the
bank.:) Try to connect with the things in life that help you focus on
ABUNDANCE rather than lack. What makes you feel luxurious? A warm
bubble bath with candles lit? Some soft music and a good book? A
nighttime walk? A cuppa tea sitting in the morning sunshine? A romp
in the park or trip to the library where you revel in all the
wonderful things we have access to for FREE?

Take some time for yourself, to reconnect with your inner child (I
know, I know...overused term but still useful) and with that which
brings joy.
Watch your children's faces, see the light in their eyes and remind
yourself how incredibly blessed you are to have them healthy and whole
and WITH you today. Every moment that they are making messes or
fighting or needing you, is a moment they are alive and well. They
aren't in the hospital with tubes down their throats or on breathing
machines...that is worth celebrating!

The sun rose today, the stars are out tonight, notice these things and
take pleasure in them. Inspire yourself with new ideas, lists of fun
things to do, projects that sound fun, but if none of that gets
accomplished today, it's OK.
Go into the day with only the expectation that you will make the best
of each moment, even the rough ones. Trust that you will all find your
way back to health, wholeness and happiness. Just connect with your
child's joy in each moment and know that ALL IS WELL.

One thing that helps me a lot is something we talked about at the
conference often....SELF-COMPASSION. We all talk about being gentle
and respectful to our children, but are we gentle with ourselves? Most
people don't have a very gentle or respectful way of dialoguing with
themselves. Change that. Give yourself loving, kind messages. When you
screw up, talk positive in your mind. Every experience is a chance to
learn and do better....so give yourself the gift of self-love. That
will better equip you to infect your home with the spirit of LOVE.:)
It IS contagious.

I enjoy the website soulfulliving.com for inspiration. Take some time
to connect with you today, to connect with your children's joyful
moments and let go of everything that doesn't really matter (no, the
mess doesn't really matter, you will get to it after they're asleep or
happily engaged).

Hang in there!

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Betsy Hill

**But over the last 4 years I had been sinking deeper and deeper into
a terrible depression, winters are always harder. **

I tend to get some seasonal depression myself, and for me I think it
is linked to the lack of sunshine. (It's foggy for a big chunk of the
day here in the winter.) I do know that positive thinking can be a
big help for depression. I'm a pretty big believer in cognitive
therapy, and I like the book by David Burns, _Feeling Good, the New
Mood Therapy_.

When you say you plan to treat your thyroid condition "holistically"
do you mean that you don't want to take medication? (I'm reading a
lot into what you said, and maybe that's not what you meant.) If you
are avoiding the thyroid replacement hormones is it because your
toddler is still nursing, or because you don't have health insurance?
(Or you don't want to take hormones extracted from pigs because of
ethical concerns? I figure that wouldn't stop you from taking the
synthetic version.)

*If* you have a diagnosed thyroid condition that your doctor is
recommending treating with pills, I would strongly encourage you to
take them. Having all the hormones that your body needs can make a
tremendous difference in how well you feel and how much energy you
have. And I believe that having more energy can greatly improve your
life.

I will acknowledge that I haven't researched holistic thyroid
treatment myself, so I'm not in any way an expert. Most of my
information comes to me second hand from a friend who had her thyroid
removed last year. Of course it is necessary for her to artificially
replace what would normally be produced by her thyroid. In her
situation, lots of positive thinking and a healthy diet would not
increase the output of her thyroid. (I do understand that your
situation is different.)

I know that there are thyroid disease support groups on the internet
in which people share what has and hasn't worked for them. If you
haven't researched that already, I encourage you to check it out and
connect with some of the people in those online groups and discuss
what kind of results they are seeing from different treatments.

I know advice can sound like criticism when you feel exhausted. I
really don't mean to sound harsh. I'm concerned about you and your
kids, and wish I had a magic wand or potion to make your life easier.
I like to think that thyroid medicine might work that well for you.
To me, it seems like it's worth a try.

Best wishes,
Betsy

Amy Bowers

What a great post Ren! Started my morning out great! Thanks!

I second the bread idea. Nothing makes my house seem more calm and safe than
bread cooking in the oven.

I am off to explain how mermaids and sharks cohabitate in the ocean :)
Amy

On 9/17/06, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>
> "One thing I have tried and am working on is just
> DECIDING that I will be a joyful parent and finding more joy in daily
> life. That has helped a bunch but man it is hard to get 5 ppl fed(my
> husband fends for himself) with no $, and play and wash clothes(we
> don't really clean so that is about it)."
>
> Deciding to find the beauty and joy in the moment is huge!
> I think you're on the right track.
>
> When money is tight, we try to find joy in the simple things....a loaf
> of homemade bread makes me feel so abundant, even without much in the
> bank.:) Try to connect with the things in life that help you focus on
> ABUNDANCE rather than lack. What makes you feel luxurious? A warm
> bubble bath with candles lit? Some soft music and a good book? A
> nighttime walk? A cuppa tea sitting in the morning sunshine? A romp
> in the park or trip to the library where you revel in all the
> wonderful things we have access to for FREE?
>
> Take some time for yourself, to reconnect with your inner child (I
> know, I know...overused term but still useful) and with that which
> brings joy.
> Watch your children's faces, see the light in their eyes and remind
> yourself how incredibly blessed you are to have them healthy and whole
> and WITH you today. Every moment that they are making messes or
> fighting or needing you, is a moment they are alive and well. They
> aren't in the hospital with tubes down their throats or on breathing
> machines...that is worth celebrating!
>
> The sun rose today, the stars are out tonight, notice these things and
> take pleasure in them. Inspire yourself with new ideas, lists of fun
> things to do, projects that sound fun, but if none of that gets
> accomplished today, it's OK.
> Go into the day with only the expectation that you will make the best
> of each moment, even the rough ones. Trust that you will all find your
> way back to health, wholeness and happiness. Just connect with your
> child's joy in each moment and know that ALL IS WELL.
>
> One thing that helps me a lot is something we talked about at the
> conference often....SELF-COMPASSION. We all talk about being gentle
> and respectful to our children, but are we gentle with ourselves? Most
> people don't have a very gentle or respectful way of dialoguing with
> themselves. Change that. Give yourself loving, kind messages. When you
> screw up, talk positive in your mind. Every experience is a chance to
> learn and do better....so give yourself the gift of self-love. That
> will better equip you to infect your home with the spirit of LOVE.:)
> It IS contagious.
>
> I enjoy the website soulfulliving.com for inspiration. Take some time
> to connect with you today, to connect with your children's joyful
> moments and let go of everything that doesn't really matter (no, the
> mess doesn't really matter, you will get to it after they're asleep or
> happily engaged).
>
> Hang in there!
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Su

Betsy wrote
> When you say you plan to treat your thyroid condition "holistically"
> do you mean that you don't want to take medication? (I'm reading a
> lot into what you said, and maybe that's not what you meant.) If you
> are avoiding the thyroid replacement hormones is it because your
> toddler is still nursing, or because you don't have health insurance?

It is both my son 1.5 is nursing and I plan on nursing him for a
couple more years. Synthroid does go through to your milk but is
supposedly harmless. REALLY, I would rather not take that chance. I
have a lot of family members on Synthroid and other thyroid medication
and they have a lot of side effects and have been told they can never
go off of it with out complications. Also, I have had heart issues in
the past(cleared up when I was pregnant with 1st child) and they
don't like to prescribe thyroid meds for ppl with any kind of heart
condition.
We also do not see doctors so we do not have health insurance, we have
emergency insurance in case we need to go to the hospital but we
usually see a chiropractor/accupuncturist. Now I just found out about
the thyroid condition and I have not been to my chiro yet. But I will
and we will come up with a good plan, together.

>
>
> I know that there are thyroid disease support groups on the internet
> in which people share what has and hasn't worked for them. If you
> haven't researched that already, I encourage you to check it out and
> connect with some of the people in those online groups and discuss
> what kind of results they are seeing from different treatments.
>
I hadn't thought of that, thank you.


> I know advice can sound like criticism when you feel exhausted. I
> really don't mean to sound harsh. I'm concerned about you and your
> kids, and wish I had a magic wand or potion to make your life easier.
> I like to think that thyroid medicine might work that well for you.
> To me, it seems like it's worth a try.
>
> Best wishes,
> Betsy


No, I don't think you sounded critical at all, your post was very
helpful, if anything it really reminded me of all the trouble my
mother has had with her thyroid medication and it really makes me know
I want to at least try to do this completely naturally. I couldn't
afford meds for the rest of my life. Things are getting better.
Thank you.
suzanne