Solé

Hello,

today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?

Thank you
Johanna

Schafer Vanessa

Hi Johanna,

To answer your questions-first I am new to this, so I
don't know about the working and still being possible
to unschool. I am a stay-at-home mom, and my husband
works. I have been able to stay with the kids since
they were born. It gets really tight with the money
sometimes, but if you are careful enough, it can work.
My hubby goes to work, before the kids are out of bed
(7 a.m.), and is usually home by 4:30-5:00. So he
gets plenty of time with the kids, especially since
his job is Monday - Friday, and no weekends. He has a
wonderful relationship with the kids, and they even
help with his wood-working projects that we do on the
weekend. (we are doing some renovating in the house).
Sometimes I think their relationship is stronger,
because he does involve them with things he/we do
around the house, and he tells them what he does for a
job. I hope this helps in some ways.

Good Luck-



--- Solé <solelokuai@...> wrote:

> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work?
> Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there
> is always someone
> at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who
> brings "the
> money" home? and is it enough if only one does it?
> and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all
> that he (I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his
> children? How about the
> relationship between him and the children? And if
> some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you
> alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work
> each day?
>
> Thank you
> Johanna
>


Vanessa


__________________________________________________
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Michelle Leifur Reid

On 9/3/06, Solé <solelokuai@...> wrote:
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
> at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
> money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children?


My co-parent is the primary "bread winner." He works very long hours
*and* he has an hour and a half commute each way. He usually leaves
the house around 7:30 in the morning and comes home around 8:00-9:30
(if not later) However, since part of his job is computer programming
(the other part is network administration and engineering) he does
work from home 2 (or more) days a week. I have a home based business
and my kids help me out with it by stamping catalogs, putting together
show packets, helping me with new recipes, putting my crate together
before shows and sometimes they even attend shows with me as my
"beautiful and talented assistant" (one at a time). I do have a teen
and a tween and they are used to staying by themselves for stretches
of time and are very responsible.

Does Dan have enough time with the kids? No. And sometimes he even
is working from home of fixing something on the weekends. He doesn't
like it. We don't like it and we are looking for ways to change that.
It is one reason he has started working from home a few days each
week. He can actually get more done working at home with "children
distration" than he does at work with "co-worker distraction." Is one
income enough? Hmmmm. We make it. It has become more difficult
because of the rising gas prices, the rise in home insurance rates
(thanks to hurricanes), having to buy a new car (thanks to the
aforementioned hurricanes) and the increase in property taxes. We
have $800 more going out each month than we did 2 years ago when we
bought our house.

--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!

Joanne

--- In [email protected], Solé <solelokuai@...>
wrote:

>>>if you go to work? Or do you all stay at home?>>>>

Since adopting our three, my husband & I have decided that one of us
be available to them and not have a paying job. Because he would be
able to make more money than me, he works. We decided to move out of
New York City to Florida because we wouldn't be able to make it on
one salary where we were.

>>>is it enough if only one does it?>>>>

Yes, it is enough. We don't waste our money and I try to stretch
what we have. There are plenty of things we do to make it go
further.

>>>and doesn't he have to work so much in order to have enough for
all that he hardly gets to see his children?>>>>

He switched jobs last year for this reason. He was working full time
but his 40 hours varied each week, were spread out over 7 days and
he wasn't able to spend a lot of time with us. Now he works 40 hours
but it's M-F 7-5.

>>>How about the relationship between him and the children?>>>

We adopted our three on 2003 so we're still ironing out some
kinks. :-)

In our case, we made some changes when we decided on this lifestyle.
Like I said before, one of them was moving out of NYC. The other was
him changing jobs so the hours better suited us.

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/

Cara

Hubby and I both used to work - we would work opposite shifts in
order for one of us to be home for the girls. We never had any
family time (unless you count the one day off hubby had on Sunday).

With a cross country move and a new job, hubby works and I stay at
home. For his job he works 2 weeks on and then has 2 weeks off. So
we don't get to see him for a while, but he has 2 weeks vacation
every time he is home. For the past 2 years it has been wonderful.
It took some getting used to being alone for 2 weeks, but I now
enjoy the time - unschooling myself - LOL The girls took it hard at
first, but now they don't seem to mind as much. They hang out with
dad when he is home, and he often takes them places for daughter-dad
time.

As for the money - he makes more in 2 weeks than I did at my
previous 35 hr/wk job in 4 weeks. But his job is very physical and
dangerous.

From my past experience telecommuting from home: I worked a split
shift 3 hours in the morning and 4 in the evening. I tried to work
early in the morning before my kids were up (they were 4 and 1 then)
but if they were awake during my morning shift I would bring toys in
the office and they would play while I worked. I didn't have to
make phone calls or anything so it was basically typing and
research. Then hubby was home in the evening when I worked the last
4 hours. Some days were great, but others (especially as they got
older) were hectic.

Anything is possible.

Cara :)

Kirsten Arbo

I have a very part time job that is in the evening. I only work two evenings a week and my husband is home before I leave. He takes over where I leave off with dinner and bathing, etc...

It gets me out of the house without the kids and I make some fun money.

Kirsten


----- Original Message -----
From: Solé
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, September 03, 2006 4:03 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] working or SAH?


Hello,

today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?

Thank you
Johanna




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

laura burns

I stay at home. I've been at home since I was pregnant with our eldest child. My husband works full time as an estate agent, He leaves at 7:45 am and gets home about 6pm which is pretty good. He has two days off a week, usely sunday and wedensday. Also on a Saturday he finishes up by 1pm. So he does manage to spend quite a bit of time at home.

Solé <solelokuai@...> wrote: Hello,

today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?

Thank you
Johanna





Have a happy day !

From Laura and Peter
Heather
Eilidh
Ruaidhri
Niamh


---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenniffer Baltzell

I've stayed home since I was pregnant with my eldest. When he was one year
old, I started a home business (selling various baby carriers, like Maya
Wraps, Baby Bundlers, etc) that I ran for several hours a day, usually when
my husband was home or when the baby napped. I sold my business just in
time to birth my 3rd child. They business had grown, was demanding more of
my time, and I didn't feel I would have the resources to keep it going and
give all three boys what they would need from me at home. Since then, 4
years ago, they've been my main focus.

My husband is the sole provider, now, and he makes enough for us to live
comfortably. It wasn't always so. We made major sacrifices in the
beginning so that I could be home with the boys. Some might say we still
do. We're a single car family, which some friends find "shocking". We
don't vacation every year. We spend alot of our time at home (and home is
humble), exploring here on the mountain. I don't view those things as
sacrifices, but others might.

Dan is gone before we wake up in the morning, and is home for dinner, an
hour or so of playtime, baths, brushing teeth, story time, and bed. He has
about 3 hours of time with them every day, and he does their bedtime ritual
solo, most nights. From my subjective viewpoint, the boys all have a
wonderful relationship with their father and vice versa. He does work
overtime on weekends, but not every weekend, and not most weekends. Most
weekends he's home with us, chopping wood, hiking, building fences, cutting
trails, wrestling, building Bionicles, playing pirate, ninja, and war, and
taking us on long drives to see what we can see.

--
Jenniffer in Harpers Ferry
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ~Mary Oliver

----- Original Message -----

> From: Solé
> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Sunday, September 03, 2006 4:03 AM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] working or SAH?
>
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home?
>








Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
> at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
> money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
> relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
>
> Thank you
> Johanna
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Angela S.

I'm a SAH mom and have been since my oldest was born 11.75 years ago. We
were married for 8 years before we decided to have kids and I always knew
that I wanted to be a SAH mom if I had kids. When I have too much on my
plate at once it totally stresses me out.



My husband works approximately three weeks on the road (all over the US) and
then he's home for about three weeks not working. (this varies, but he's
not usually gone more than three weeks at one time) He has a great
relationship with the girls even though he is gone a lot because when he is
home he is home 24/7 and we have a lot of time to be together as a family.



When I first stayed home money was VERY tight but we managed. Now things
are much easier than they were back then.



It would be rather difficult for me to be an Unschooling mom and work with
my dh's schedule. Sometimes I think the extra money would be nice but the
girls would rather I be at home. I guess I prefer it too and we manage to
make it work on dh's salary anyway. It seems you spend more when you have
more anyway.



Angela

game-enthusiast@...



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I am both a WAHM and a SAHM. I am with the kids all day from when they get
up till they go to bed. Then i go to work. So i get the best of both worlds
with the added benefit of a 2 income household.

In a message dated 9/3/2006 3:10:56 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
game-enthusiast@... writes:




I'm a SAH mom and have been since my oldest was born 11.75 years ago. We
were married for 8 years before we decided to have kids and I always knew
that I wanted to be a SAH mom if I had kids. When I have too much on my
plate at once it totally stresses me out.

My husband works approximately three weeks on the road (all over the US) and
then he's home for about three weeks not working. (this varies, but he's
not usually gone more than three weeks at one time) He has a great
relationship with the girls even though he is gone a lot because when he is
home he is home 24/7 and we have a lot of time to be together as a family.

When I first stayed home money was VERY tight but we managed. Now things
are much easier than they were back then.

It would be rather difficult for me to be an Unschooling mom and work with
my dh's schedule. Sometimes I think the extra money would be nice but the
girls would rather I be at home. I guess I prefer it too and we manage to
make it work on dh's salary anyway. It seems you spend more when you have
more anyway.

Angela







~Alyssa in IL
_http://www.d-listproductions.com_ (http://www.d-listproductions.com/)


"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching."












[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Solé

Wow, how long do you work? When do you sleep?

Johanna

Am 03.09.2006 um 22:13 schrieb SquishyMommy1@...:

> I am both a WAHM and a SAHM. I am with the kids all day from when
> they get
> up till they go to bed. Then i go to work. So i get the best of
> both worlds
> with the added benefit of a 2 income household.

[email protected]

I work from 9 pm to 3 AM everyday but Tue when i volunteer as a group
facilitator for a young mom's and young families support group in our area. The
other days i am a cashier at a giant
grocery/home/garden/electronics/pet/toys/clothing store LOL. It has everything in one. I sleep when i get home and
unwind which is about 4 AM my kids are up at 9 so that's 5 hours and then my
husband gets home at 5:30 and i take a 1-2 hour nap so they get daddy time.
Spend sometime with hubby and the kids together, the kids go to bed we get
about 45 min just us then i go to work and it all begins again.

In a message dated 9/3/2006 3:48:11 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
solelokuai@... writes:

Wow, how long do you work? When do you sleep?

Johanna

Am 03.09.2006 um 22:13 schrieb _SquishyMommy1@Squishy_
(mailto:SquishyMommy1@...) :

> I am both a WAHM and a SAHM. I am with the kids all day from when
> they get
> up till they go to bed. Then i go to work. So i get the best of
> both worlds
> with the added benefit of a 2 income household.




~Alyssa in IL
_http://www.d-listproductions.com_ (http://www.d-listproductions.com/)


"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like you do when nobody's watching."












[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa Camoirano

I was a mostly SAHM until recently. Now I work fulltime and so does
my husband (plus, he also works a second part-time job). There are
three days a week where we overlap, and since we take care of my
mother, she stays with the children those days. Our unschoolers are 6
and 4, so they are mostly creating during the day on their own. It is
working much better than I anticipated, but we do still miss each
other terribly. Financially, I just couldn't stay at home anymore
with the rising prices of everything and taking care of my mother.

¸..· '¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·' .·'¨¨))
((¸¸.·' ...·' -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸..·'*

In Love & Light,

Mel

"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." -
Sebastien-Roch Chamfort




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

liannemargaret

I work at home, my husband is gone M-F.

I wanted to pursue midwifery, but my son wants (needs) me home.
I am taking editing courses at night, so I may have the credentials
for freelance work from home... something I do, and have done,
without certificate, but this will allow a wider market.

I am also a surrogate, effectively a pre-birth babysitter,
and that can be quite lucrative. [Writing a book on that.]

As a resident of a city with 3 universities and many language schools,
I have also done "homestay" as a host family, providing meals and a
room for foreign language students. They stay anywhere from 6 weeks
to 6 months, and some schools pay very well.

I also have a sellers acct and a consistent internet income. This
appeals to my need to recycle items that would otherwise be thrown
away. I started this after a friend showed me how she developed her
own income... she would buy items, with household money, just to sell
them online, without dh's knowledge. Not the way I'd live, but hey...

L


--- Solé <solelokuai@...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
> at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
> money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
> relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
>
> Thank you
> Johanna
>

conniekangas

I'm a single parent working at home and about ready to pull my hair out. My rent chews up 90% of my income - so I'm barely making it. The job market here is real bleak - so not sure what I'm going to do - but it is a real desperate feeling.


----- Original Message -----
From: liannemargaret
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, September 04, 2006 7:32 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: working or SAH?


I work at home, my husband is gone M-F.

I wanted to pursue midwifery, but my son wants (needs) me home.
I am taking editing courses at night, so I may have the credentials
for freelance work from home... something I do, and have done,
without certificate, but this will allow a wider market.

I am also a surrogate, effectively a pre-birth babysitter,
and that can be quite lucrative. [Writing a book on that.]

As a resident of a city with 3 universities and many language schools,
I have also done "homestay" as a host family, providing meals and a
room for foreign language students. They stay anywhere from 6 weeks
to 6 months, and some schools pay very well.

I also have a sellers acct and a consistent internet income. This
appeals to my need to recycle items that would otherwise be thrown
away. I started this after a friend showed me how she developed her
own income... she would buy items, with household money, just to sell
them online, without dh's knowledge. Not the way I'd live, but hey...

L

--- Solé <solelokuai@...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone
> at home? What kind of jobs do you have, if any? Who brings "the
> money" home? and is it enough if only one does it? and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children? How about the
> relationship between him and the children? And if some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
>
> Thank you
> Johanna
>





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

liannemargaret

I can understand that...
I was given $10 000 for my wedding, by my father, and chose to use it
for a downpayment on a house instead...
There's no way i could afford to rent.

I hope you find a way out of this soon.

L

--- "conniekangas" <cmnk2005@...> wrote:
>
> I'm a single parent working at home and about ready to pull my hair
out. My rent chews up 90% of my income - so I'm barely making it.
The job market here is real bleak - so not sure what I'm going to do -
but it is a real desperate feeling.
>
>

Deb

--- In [email protected], Solé <solelokuai@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always
>someone
> at home?
Well, the kid(s) need someone to supervise - whether that's mom/dad,
grandma, whatever, it is pretty flexible. Key is finding someone to
care for the kid(s) who is on the same wavelength, so the kid(s)
aren't being yelled at, scolded, regulated all day then mom/dad come
home and things are different. And, too, there does need to be the
relationship there which can be hard if the kid(s) are in daycare
40+ hours per week.

>What kind of jobs do you have, if any?
I work fulltime as a software quality analyst for a software
developer. DH is at home fulltime with DS (8).

> and is it enough if only one does it?
yes. gotta define "enough" - enough for us, yes. enough for some
folks, probably not. we don't have the biggest greatest house (it
could really use some work in some areas), it's out a bit (not
the "prime real estate" area, it's a little under an acre of
property of which 20% is wetlands that are unusable entirely, we
have two vehicles, both 8 yrs old and paid off completely. we're
still paying DH's college loans (he started college 2 yrs before DS
was born, 2 yrs after we got married, he was 28 at the time). We've
also got some accumulated debt we're working on as well. Are we
keeping current with expenses and bills? Yes. Would we like to have
a bit more discretionary cash? Sure, we'd love to be able to go to
BOTH the Northeast Unschooling Conference AND Live & Learn AND have
a family vacation to Europe. Do we have to have it? No. Is it worth
sending DS off to school so DH can work fulltime? No way. Perhaps
once DS is an older teen, DH might choose to take on some part time
work or something but that's still years in the future.

>and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he
>(I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children?
Nope - I get to work between 7:30 and 8 am and get home somewhere
between 5 pm and 6 pm (it's about a 15 minute commute and when I
leave depends a bit on when I get in and what is happening at work).
Basic 40 hr type work week. I see DS every evening and all weekend
long plus paid holiday and vacation time (I get about 3 weeks paid
vacation per year that I can pretty much take whenever I choose -
I'm taking a half day off to go to the Big E, the New England
version of a state fair). Fortunately, since DS doesn't have
homework from school, I can actually spend real time with him in the
evening instead of basically supervising homework and bathtime and
bedtime (and the attendant wranglings). We also go out on regularly
scheduled "dates" - whether we go sip chai at Starbuck's or browse
the shelves at Borders or take a walk on a nice hiking trail or
whatever. Gives us a chance to spend time talking and gives DH a bit
of a breather from DS (who can talk nonstop for 8 hrs or more). I
sometimes see DS in the mornings, depends on when he wakes up.

>How about the
> relationship between him and the children?
Just fine - it's a priority so we work on it, just as one would work
on a relationship with a partner. Thus, we have regular 'dates', we
have 'family traditions', etc. I call home once or twice a day just
to see what's happening and DH and DS can call me at will (I keep my
cell phone handy but they can also use my office phone). I'll email
DH interesting tidbits during the day and NeoMail DS occasionally
(emailing through NeoPets rather than opening his computer up to
regular email).

> And if some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
I've worked at home at times and DH worked part time from home for a
couple years as well. Pretty much kept it to set times and gave DS
attention as needed - works out better to give him 5 focused minutes
when he needs it than to put him off over and over so that he gets
in a habit of pestering to get what he wants/needs. DH would work
about 2 to 3 hours per day Monday-Friday when he was working. He'd
do much of it before DS woke up in the morning (on average, DH is up
around 6 am and DS gets up closer to 8). He'd also work once I was
home if needed, so DS had my attention while DH worked. DH and DS
were doing okay with that until DH was asked to be in the office for
the hours he worked - they tried it, there was even a mini office
for DS with a couch, desk, computer, TV/VCR but it started getting
in the way of other stuff so DH resigned. I sometimes bring DS to
work with me for a while if DH has an appointment (like Dr or
Dentist). He usually brings his laptop and some movies or games to
play. DS is now 8, DH's work arrangement ended when he was around 5
or 5 1/2. When I work at home, I can usually talk while I work (just
as I sometimes do here -at- work) as well as sometimes he just wants
to be near me playing while I work or watching TV or a movie (my
computer is in our bedroom which is more like a room and a half). My
job doesn't require things like being on the phone a lot or what-
have-you (little to no "customer" contact required, none at all when
I'm working from home).

So, no, it is not *necessary* that the parent who works be out of
touch with the family; it is not *necessary* for one parent to be
home all the time (many families trade off shifts so that a parent
is home but one parent works days and one works evenings or 3 on 4
off type shifts or something); the amount of income *necessary* is
not necessarily what society considers "necessary" - sometimes there
are things that just have to wait until we can afford it (I want to
take DH and DS to Europe sometime, where we've got friends, that'll
take about two years or so of planning and saving; and, we've got
some unschooling friends down in the US Virgin Islands that we'd
love to go visit but that's another bit of saving up as well).

--Deb

Dawn

Johanna

I'm a single mom of little ones, 2 and 4, so they just play, watch
movies and do arts and crafts while I work at home. I try to keep a
balance of play time, out of the house time, pool time and my work
time. When they were real little I hired a mothers helpers from 9am
to 1pm to help with housework and play with the children so that I
could work in the other room. Now I have alot of housekeeping help
and there are still times when I'm making important calls that I am
VERY interrupted. But I let everyone know that my primary 'job' is
being their mom. Just 2 days ago I took them around to do 3
different property appraisals. They've been with me to lots of real
estate closings, even nursing in slings!! I still will ask friends
or helpers occasionally to come play with them if I have a long and
important phone call to make. If they take a nap during the day
then so do I, then when they go to sleep at night, I get to work,
usually from about 8 to midnight. The amount of work I actually get
done during the day varies and I try to go with their flow. If they
are playing well without me - I get over to the computer. If they
want alot of attention - I let it go for another time.

Hope this helps.
Dawn

Dawn

PS - I put my desk in the living room, which is also the childrens
main play area and over looks the deck which is their second favorite
play area. They were unhappy and felt disconnected with me working in
my actual office in the other room.

Dawn

[email protected]

Deb -

Hi!

We use to go to the "Big E" all the time when I was little (& before we moved). :) Have fun!
-Sherry


-----Original Message-----
From: soggyboysmom@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, 6 Sep 2006 2:32 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: working or SAH?


--- In [email protected], Solé <solelokuai@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
> stay at home? Is unschooling only possible if there is always
>someone
> at home?
Well, the kid(s) need someone to supervise - whether that's mom/dad,
grandma, whatever, it is pretty flexible. Key is finding someone to
care for the kid(s) who is on the same wavelength, so the kid(s)
aren't being yelled at, scolded, regulated all day then mom/dad come
home and things are different. And, too, there does need to be the
relationship there which can be hard if the kid(s) are in daycare
40+ hours per week.

>What kind of jobs do you have, if any?
I work fulltime as a software quality analyst for a software
developer. DH is at home fulltime with DS (8).

> and is it enough if only one does it?
yes. gotta define "enough" - enough for us, yes. enough for some
folks, probably not. we don't have the biggest greatest house (it
could really use some work in some areas), it's out a bit (not
the "prime real estate" area, it's a little under an acre of
property of which 20% is wetlands that are unusable entirely, we
have two vehicles, both 8 yrs old and paid off completely. we're
still paying DH's college loans (he started college 2 yrs before DS
was born, 2 yrs after we got married, he was 28 at the time). We've
also got some accumulated debt we're working on as well. Are we
keeping current with expenses and bills? Yes. Would we like to have
a bit more discretionary cash? Sure, we'd love to be able to go to
BOTH the Northeast Unschooling Conference AND Live & Learn AND have
a family vacation to Europe. Do we have to have it? No. Is it worth
sending DS off to school so DH can work fulltime? No way. Perhaps
once DS is an older teen, DH might choose to take on some part time
work or something but that's still years in the future.

>and doesn't he/she
> have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he
>(I'll
> just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children?
Nope - I get to work between 7:30 and 8 am and get home somewhere
between 5 pm and 6 pm (it's about a 15 minute commute and when I
leave depends a bit on when I get in and what is happening at work).
Basic 40 hr type work week. I see DS every evening and all weekend
long plus paid holiday and vacation time (I get about 3 weeks paid
vacation per year that I can pretty much take whenever I choose -
I'm taking a half day off to go to the Big E, the New England
version of a state fair). Fortunately, since DS doesn't have
homework from school, I can actually spend real time with him in the
evening instead of basically supervising homework and bathtime and
bedtime (and the attendant wranglings). We also go out on regularly
scheduled "dates" - whether we go sip chai at Starbuck's or browse
the shelves at Borders or take a walk on a nice hiking trail or
whatever. Gives us a chance to spend time talking and gives DH a bit
of a breather from DS (who can talk nonstop for 8 hrs or more). I
sometimes see DS in the mornings, depends on when he wakes up.

>How about the
> relationship between him and the children?
Just fine - it's a priority so we work on it, just as one would work
on a relationship with a partner. Thus, we have regular 'dates', we
have 'family traditions', etc. I call home once or twice a day just
to see what's happening and DH and DS can call me at will (I keep my
cell phone handy but they can also use my office phone). I'll email
DH interesting tidbits during the day and NeoMail DS occasionally
(emailing through NeoPets rather than opening his computer up to
regular email).

> And if some work at home,
> how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
> work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
I've worked at home at times and DH worked part time from home for a
couple years as well. Pretty much kept it to set times and gave DS
attention as needed - works out better to give him 5 focused minutes
when he needs it than to put him off over and over so that he gets
in a habit of pestering to get what he wants/needs. DH would work
about 2 to 3 hours per day Monday-Friday when he was working. He'd
do much of it before DS woke up in the morning (on average, DH is up
around 6 am and DS gets up closer to 8). He'd also work once I was
home if needed, so DS had my attention while DH worked. DH and DS
were doing okay with that until DH was asked to be in the office for
the hours he worked - they tried it, there was even a mini office
for DS with a couch, desk, computer, TV/VCR but it started getting
in the way of other stuff so DH resigned. I sometimes bring DS to
work with me for a while if DH has an appointment (like Dr or
Dentist). He usually brings his laptop and some movies or games to
play. DS is now 8, DH's work arrangement ended when he was around 5
or 5 1/2. When I work at home, I can usually talk while I work (just
as I sometimes do here -at- work) as well as sometimes he just wants
to be near me playing while I work or watching TV or a movie (my
computer is in our bedroom which is more like a room and a half). My
job doesn't require things like being on the phone a lot or what-
have-you (little to no "customer" contact required, none at all when
I'm working from home).

So, no, it is not *necessary* that the parent who works be out of
touch with the family; it is not *necessary* for one parent to be
home all the time (many families trade off shifts so that a parent
is home but one parent works days and one works evenings or 3 on 4
off type shifts or something); the amount of income *necessary* is
not necessarily what society considers "necessary" - sometimes there
are things that just have to wait until we can afford it (I want to
take DH and DS to Europe sometime, where we've got friends, that'll
take about two years or so of planning and saving; and, we've got
some unschooling friends down in the US Virgin Islands that we'd
love to go visit but that's another bit of saving up as well).

--Deb



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: solelokuai@...

I'm really behind, but have a file full of posts I wanted to answer.
Bear with me! <g>

-=-=-=-=-

today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
stay at home?

-=-=-=-

I groom dogs in a little room in my garage. Ususally 1-3 dogs, 2-3
days/week. Sometimes waay more, occasionally none in a week. Having
been gone for the last two weeks, I have two this afternoon, four
tomorrow, two on Wed, one on Thurs, and two on Fri. Not a typical weel,
but the boys will be sleeping a lot this week! <g> I usually schedule
my clients while the boys are still asleep---from 7-11 am, so I'm
available when they wake up.

I've recently started selling Usborne books, but ONLY to a school where
I know the head. It's more work than I thought it would be, but it's
only 2 times per year, really---so I can suck that up! <G> The great
deal on books for Duncan is the cool kicker!

I also coordinate the Live and Learn Conference. Some days, I'm on the
computer almost ALL day. Others, not at all. But I'm available for the
boys---and a lot of my organization and ideas happen when I'm out
driving or gardening or whatever---NOT while I'm sitting at the
computer.

-=-=-=-=

Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone at home?

-=-=-=-

Depends on the age(s) of the child(ren). Little ones? Yes---someone
must be home. A little older, and they can be at a friend's house for
often days at a time (Duncan's friend Bo will be here this morning and
will stay until Thursday or Friday, probably!). By the time the child
gets a driver's license, things change so much! Cameron had his first
job at 14---*before* he could drive. I would take him in. As soon as he
got his license, a lot of his learning happened withOUT me at all! <g>

-=-==-

What kind of jobs do you have, if any?

-=-=-

Just answered me above. Ben is a Lt Col in the Air National Guard. He
rides his bike 13 miles to work, so if I must be out, the boys can call
Ben and know he's only a few minutes away.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Who brings "the money" home? and is it enough if only one does it?

-=-=-=-

Ben. Most definitely. Ben's paycheck covers everything we need. My
grooming $$ covers fun: gardening & bees for me, YuGiOh! cards,
NBTSCamp (although Cam's choosing to pay for those things now),
birthday and Christmas gifts, travel (which we seem to be doing a lot
of lately!!!), etc.

"Enough" is really relative! <g> It *has* to be enough---whatever it
is!

-=-=-=-=

and doesn't he/she
have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children?

-=-=-=-=-

WOW! Ben's home SOOO much more now that he's back in the military! That
was one of the "perks" of re-upping with the Guard compared to selling
food to restaurants or selling pharmaceuticals, both of which he did
before! He was NEVER home---and even when he *was* home, he was
working! We see him so much more! Plus---he gets to ride his bike more!
<g> That makes *him* happy!

-=-=-==-

How about the
relationship between him and the children?

-=-=-=-

Good, and always getting better. ANd just after each conference, he
seems to fit in better---to make a huge leap in how he works and plays
with the boys. It's pretty cool to watch.

-=-=-=-=-

And if some work at home,
how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?

-=-=-=-=-

My schedule is soooo flexible. I don't work unless I want to---and I
can reschedule clients to suit me. As they have gotten older, they need
me less and less for certain things. I mean, they can cook for
themselves and do laundry and answer the phone. <g> Plus, I'm *only*
just outside.

I know the conference planning can get time-consuming sometimes---like
making those damned name badges! <g>, but they've learned to tell when
I *need* to work and when I can break away and when I just want to say,
"screw it!" <g>

They're both now, at ten and 18, quite self-sufficient. They don't need
me 24/7 as they used to. I still make sure to schedule some fun things
each week (Tomorrow is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so I'll go
today to get eye patches and schtuff). We all watched _V for Vendetta_
together last night. We're going out for breakfast this morning after
we pick up Bo, but Duncan and Bo will play while I work this afternoon,
and Cameron will be out and about after we get his car from the shop.

I'm lucky---or have arranged to be lucky! <g>---to have my work at
home. Clients know where my priorities are and are willing to work
around me and my boys. The $$ I make grooming dogs goes directly
towards fun stuff for the boys, so they can see the benefit of having
me slightly unavailable for a few hours each week. So far it's worked
out great.




~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6



________________________________________________________________________
Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
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across the web, free AOL Mail and more.

Danielle Pate

I work at the children's museum of Houston. My position is "Discovery
Guide". I absolutely love my job. It's a part time job with a lot of
flexibility. You are scheduled for part time hours, but if you so choose,
you can either add your name to an empty spot on the schedule or sub for
another person to acquire extra hours up to 40 per week. If we are
shortstaffed, they allow more than 40 per week for time and a half pay.
When I have a baby, the plan is to work Saturdays and Sundays, and then on
Thursday evening from 5-9 for free family night. Those are the hours when
they most need people, and this way, we wouldn't need other care.
I have not ruled out staying at home, but I feel more at ease contributing
to the family finances. That way, if something happened to my husband or to
his job, I could be in a better position all around. Besides, there are a
lot of feminists in my family- they already want to kill me because I got
married, I can't imagine how bad they will react with my first child, and if
I stayed home, they'd probably burn my house down.



Danielle Souris Pate
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I�
I took the one less traveled by"
Robert Frost.





>From: kbcdlovejo@...
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] working or SAH?
>Date: Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:49:43 -0400
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: solelokuai@...
>
>I'm really behind, but have a file full of posts I wanted to answer.
>Bear with me! <g>
>
>-=-=-=-=-
>
>today I'd like to ask all of you if you go to work? Or do you all
>stay at home?
>
>-=-=-=-
>
>I groom dogs in a little room in my garage. Ususally 1-3 dogs, 2-3
>days/week. Sometimes waay more, occasionally none in a week. Having
>been gone for the last two weeks, I have two this afternoon, four
>tomorrow, two on Wed, one on Thurs, and two on Fri. Not a typical weel,
>but the boys will be sleeping a lot this week! <g> I usually schedule
>my clients while the boys are still asleep---from 7-11 am, so I'm
>available when they wake up.
>
>I've recently started selling Usborne books, but ONLY to a school where
>I know the head. It's more work than I thought it would be, but it's
>only 2 times per year, really---so I can suck that up! <G> The great
>deal on books for Duncan is the cool kicker!
>
>I also coordinate the Live and Learn Conference. Some days, I'm on the
>computer almost ALL day. Others, not at all. But I'm available for the
>boys---and a lot of my organization and ideas happen when I'm out
>driving or gardening or whatever---NOT while I'm sitting at the
>computer.
>
>-=-=-=-=
>
>Is unschooling only possible if there is always someone at home?
>
>-=-=-=-
>
>Depends on the age(s) of the child(ren). Little ones? Yes---someone
>must be home. A little older, and they can be at a friend's house for
>often days at a time (Duncan's friend Bo will be here this morning and
>will stay until Thursday or Friday, probably!). By the time the child
>gets a driver's license, things change so much! Cameron had his first
>job at 14---*before* he could drive. I would take him in. As soon as he
>got his license, a lot of his learning happened withOUT me at all! <g>
>
>-=-==-
>
>What kind of jobs do you have, if any?
>
>-=-=-
>
>Just answered me above. Ben is a Lt Col in the Air National Guard. He
>rides his bike 13 miles to work, so if I must be out, the boys can call
>Ben and know he's only a few minutes away.
>
>-=-=-=-=-=-
>
>Who brings "the money" home? and is it enough if only one does it?
>
>-=-=-=-
>
>Ben. Most definitely. Ben's paycheck covers everything we need. My
>grooming $$ covers fun: gardening & bees for me, YuGiOh! cards,
>NBTSCamp (although Cam's choosing to pay for those things now),
>birthday and Christmas gifts, travel (which we seem to be doing a lot
>of lately!!!), etc.
>
>"Enough" is really relative! <g> It *has* to be enough---whatever it
>is!
>
>-=-=-=-=
>
>and doesn't he/she
>have to work so much in order to have enough for all that he (I'll
>just assume it's he) hardly gets to see his children?
>
>-=-=-=-=-
>
>WOW! Ben's home SOOO much more now that he's back in the military! That
>was one of the "perks" of re-upping with the Guard compared to selling
>food to restaurants or selling pharmaceuticals, both of which he did
>before! He was NEVER home---and even when he *was* home, he was
>working! We see him so much more! Plus---he gets to ride his bike more!
><g> That makes *him* happy!
>
>-=-=-==-
>
> How about the
>relationship between him and the children?
>
>-=-=-=-
>
>Good, and always getting better. ANd just after each conference, he
>seems to fit in better---to make a huge leap in how he works and plays
>with the boys. It's pretty cool to watch.
>
>-=-=-=-=-
>
>And if some work at home,
>how do you manage it, do the children leave you alone doing your
>work, do you have a schedule, how long do you work each day?
>
>-=-=-=-=-
>
>My schedule is soooo flexible. I don't work unless I want to---and I
>can reschedule clients to suit me. As they have gotten older, they need
>me less and less for certain things. I mean, they can cook for
>themselves and do laundry and answer the phone. <g> Plus, I'm *only*
>just outside.
>
>I know the conference planning can get time-consuming sometimes---like
>making those damned name badges! <g>, but they've learned to tell when
>I *need* to work and when I can break away and when I just want to say,
>"screw it!" <g>
>
>They're both now, at ten and 18, quite self-sufficient. They don't need
>me 24/7 as they used to. I still make sure to schedule some fun things
>each week (Tomorrow is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so I'll go
>today to get eye patches and schtuff). We all watched _V for Vendetta_
>together last night. We're going out for breakfast this morning after
>we pick up Bo, but Duncan and Bo will play while I work this afternoon,
>and Cameron will be out and about after we get his car from the shop.
>
>I'm lucky---or have arranged to be lucky! <g>---to have my work at
>home. Clients know where my priorities are and are willing to work
>around me and my boys. The $$ I make grooming dogs goes directly
>towards fun stuff for the boys, so they can see the benefit of having
>me slightly unavailable for a few hours each week. So far it's worked
>out great.
>
>
>
>
>~Kelly
>
>Kelly Lovejoy
>Conference Coordinator
>Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
>http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
>"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6
>
>
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and
>security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from
>across the web, free AOL Mail and more.
>

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Michelle Leifur Reid

On 9/18/06, Danielle Pate <DaniellePate@...> wrote:
Besides, there are a
> lot of feminists in my family- they already want to kill me because I got
> married, I can't imagine how bad they will react with my first child, and if
> I stayed home, they'd probably burn my house down.
>

That's very odd. I'm a feminist. My mother is a feminist. I have
many friends who are feminists (both female *and* male). None of them
would burn your house down if you *chose* to stay home with your
child. Feminism is not about womyn having to work outside the home
and "free" themselves from the apron strings of domesticity. Feminism
is about having a *choice* and being supported in that *choice.*
While your friends may not *choose* to have children and stay home, I
would really question if they are feminists if they didn't support
YOUR *choice* to do such.

--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!

[email protected]

>>Besides, there are a lot of feminists in my family- they already want to kill me because I got married, I can't imagine how bad they will react with my first child, and if I stayed home, they'd probably burn my house down.>>

That's so sad.

I think the most empowering thing that feminism brought about is women's ability to now choose the lifestyle that they truly want. *And* we get to change our minds and go in different directions when we choose too!

I started out with a career, moved into motherhood where I chose to stay home and am now a business owner with by husband. All valid choices and all choices I would support for my friends or family.

--
~Mary, feminist from the 70's
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh