Letting go of anger, and how do you fill required subjects by the state
Vanessa
Hi,
I am still new to this and have a couple of questions. My first one
is how do you let go of the anger, frustration and guilt, of leaving
kids in a public school for so long? Mine have been bullied the
whole time they were in school, and nothing was ever done to stop
it. We did go through all of the channels, and nothing
happened/worked. My son was going to be in 5th grade this year, and
my daughter in 4th. Had I known about the homeschooling earlier, I
would've done it before. Some people don't agree with us
homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all the problems, and
learn to deal with it. I and my hubby don't agree-that's where the
frustration comes in. The anger and guilt is from all of the stuff
they've had to put up with, (guilt), and the other is from having to
deal with it, going through all of the channels, and banging our
heads on the wall, when nothing was taken care of.
Now on to my second question. I've read that the state has
required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to know. How do you
fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not worry about it?
My idea is to let my kids get excited about learning again, (I think
it was lost when they were made to learn things they had no interest
in, in school), and to relax, and enjoy living life. I don't want
them to have any added stress and pressure.
Any/all advice is welcome. I can use any ideas to get started,
cheap/free field trips to go on, etc.
Also is anyone in the group from South Lyon?
Thanks,
Vanessa
I am still new to this and have a couple of questions. My first one
is how do you let go of the anger, frustration and guilt, of leaving
kids in a public school for so long? Mine have been bullied the
whole time they were in school, and nothing was ever done to stop
it. We did go through all of the channels, and nothing
happened/worked. My son was going to be in 5th grade this year, and
my daughter in 4th. Had I known about the homeschooling earlier, I
would've done it before. Some people don't agree with us
homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all the problems, and
learn to deal with it. I and my hubby don't agree-that's where the
frustration comes in. The anger and guilt is from all of the stuff
they've had to put up with, (guilt), and the other is from having to
deal with it, going through all of the channels, and banging our
heads on the wall, when nothing was taken care of.
Now on to my second question. I've read that the state has
required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to know. How do you
fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not worry about it?
My idea is to let my kids get excited about learning again, (I think
it was lost when they were made to learn things they had no interest
in, in school), and to relax, and enjoy living life. I don't want
them to have any added stress and pressure.
Any/all advice is welcome. I can use any ideas to get started,
cheap/free field trips to go on, etc.
Also is anyone in the group from South Lyon?
Thanks,
Vanessa
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 8/30/06, Vanessa <psychomom95@...> wrote:
to have to heal through deschooling and do it together. My oldest
daughter went through 2nd grade, but I have very little guilt about
those three years because she was in such wonderful classrooms with
"dream teachers." (If I had to send my children to school they were
the kind of teachers I would want them to have!) My younger two both
went to kindergarden with some horrible experiences and while I feel
badly about making those decisions, I can't hang on to them. I have
to release that and chalk it up to "doing the best with what I had
available to me at the time." Dwelling in it will only suck the fun
out of unschooling. YOu know what you don't want, so go towards that
which you DO want!
least they will know what the 'real world' is like and be able to cope
with it!" EEEEEEK!!! They aren't learning to "cope with it" they are
learning to *contribute to it*! I'm sorry that it took so long for
you to see homeschooling as an option. OK, all the guilt you are
going to get from me. Now go do something FUN together!!
group (e- or live) in your state or county to help you through your
state's maze of rules. While some states have a "recommended" list of
subjects to cover, you first have to decipher if you have to document
it or if it is "something they think would be good to know."
Your children will be excited about learning, but it may not be
learning in the way that you have come to accept as "learning." It is
going to look much different from what they did in school!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
> Hi,Anger about all the things that happened in school? You are all going
>
> I am still new to this and have a couple of questions. My first one
> is how do you let go of the anger, frustration and guilt, of leaving
> kids in a public school for so long? Mine have been bullied the
> whole time they were in school, and nothing was ever done to stop
> it.
to have to heal through deschooling and do it together. My oldest
daughter went through 2nd grade, but I have very little guilt about
those three years because she was in such wonderful classrooms with
"dream teachers." (If I had to send my children to school they were
the kind of teachers I would want them to have!) My younger two both
went to kindergarden with some horrible experiences and while I feel
badly about making those decisions, I can't hang on to them. I have
to release that and chalk it up to "doing the best with what I had
available to me at the time." Dwelling in it will only suck the fun
out of unschooling. YOu know what you don't want, so go towards that
which you DO want!
> Some people don't agree with usI have friends whose children are in school and their reasoning is "at
> homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all the problems, and
> learn to deal with it. I and my hubby don't agree-that's where the
> frustration comes in.
least they will know what the 'real world' is like and be able to cope
with it!" EEEEEEK!!! They aren't learning to "cope with it" they are
learning to *contribute to it*! I'm sorry that it took so long for
you to see homeschooling as an option. OK, all the guilt you are
going to get from me. Now go do something FUN together!!
>Your best bet would be to find an unschooling or relaxed homeschooling
> Now on to my second question. I've read that the state has
> required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to know. How do you
> fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not worry about it?
group (e- or live) in your state or county to help you through your
state's maze of rules. While some states have a "recommended" list of
subjects to cover, you first have to decipher if you have to document
it or if it is "something they think would be good to know."
Your children will be excited about learning, but it may not be
learning in the way that you have come to accept as "learning." It is
going to look much different from what they did in school!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
jlh44music
"Vanessa" <psychomom95@...> wrote:
you just not worry about it?>>
What state are you in? Are you required to report to the super/school
annually?
I'm in MA and we're required to submit an annual progress report (or
standardized test OR work samples, our choice, I chose the report).
This was our first year, so I just wrote down in a journal things that
we did. Then when it came time to write up the report, I went back
through it and turned the things she did into "educationese", and
wrote a paragraph for each school subject. (and yes, I had to
get "creative" with some things, especially math!)
In my letter to the super I stated "An annual progress report will be
submitted upon request". I just sent in my letter of intent (LOI) to
homeschool for this year, and got my "approval" back within a week
(almost the SAME letter as last year, except the dates were
changed!). I did not include the progress report (since I said "upon
request"), they didn't request it in their approval for this year, so
unless they contact me further, I'm just hanging on to it (but it's
ready)!
Don't worry about what they're "learning" or what they're supposed to
know. Unless you have to report, it doesn't matter. Give them time
to heal and deschool. My dd was in school through 6th grade, she left
in June 2005. She's still healing, but I see tremendous changes (for
the better!) by letting her be.
Jann
>I've read that the state has required "subjects" that the kids aresupposed to know. How do you fit that in with "unschooling", or do
you just not worry about it?>>
What state are you in? Are you required to report to the super/school
annually?
I'm in MA and we're required to submit an annual progress report (or
standardized test OR work samples, our choice, I chose the report).
This was our first year, so I just wrote down in a journal things that
we did. Then when it came time to write up the report, I went back
through it and turned the things she did into "educationese", and
wrote a paragraph for each school subject. (and yes, I had to
get "creative" with some things, especially math!)
In my letter to the super I stated "An annual progress report will be
submitted upon request". I just sent in my letter of intent (LOI) to
homeschool for this year, and got my "approval" back within a week
(almost the SAME letter as last year, except the dates were
changed!). I did not include the progress report (since I said "upon
request"), they didn't request it in their approval for this year, so
unless they contact me further, I'm just hanging on to it (but it's
ready)!
Don't worry about what they're "learning" or what they're supposed to
know. Unless you have to report, it doesn't matter. Give them time
to heal and deschool. My dd was in school through 6th grade, she left
in June 2005. She's still healing, but I see tremendous changes (for
the better!) by letting her be.
Jann
Tonya Matthews
--- In [email protected], "Vanessa" <psychomom95@...>
wrote:
I have a story similiar to yours. From what I've been hearing with
parents I know, 4th grade truly seems to be the 'sink or swim' year.
Either you fit in and plug along or you don't and the torture starts
there.
My son's 4th grade year was a misery. It still hurts me today to
recall how he'd have us drag him kicking and screaming to school. Or
the awful day he ran into the snow in socks so we wouldn't take him to
school.
I understand what you're feeling. I didn't really consider
homeschooling as a choice either until the summer after 4th grade. All
I can tell you as far as healing is deschool, deschool, deschool. My
oldest is so much happier. He thanks us for taking him out of school.
He's so glad not to have to go anymore. Both my school age boys hug us
and tell us they love us so much more than they ever did. My 11 yr old
hugs me on a regular basis (and he's not a hugger typically).
Your children will be so thankful for what you've done for them by
taking them out of school.
I surely don't have all the answers. We are still trying to find our
way but at least we are all together and our relationship is strong.
The biggest thing to me that hurt (beyond my son's pure suffering) was
the fact that the school 'takes' your child. You don't know them
anymore, you don't see them anymore, they don't 'belong' to you
anymore. I wasn't, and still am not, ready to let them go.
What a gift this life is.
Best to you,
Tonya
wrote:
>Hi Vanessa,
> Hi,
>
> I am still new to this and have a couple of questions. My first one
> is how do you let go of the anger, frustration and guilt, of leaving
> kids in a public school for so long? Mine have been bullied the
> whole time they were in school, and nothing was ever done to stop
> it. We did go through all of the channels, and nothing
> happened/worked. My son was going to be in 5th grade this year, and
> my daughter in 4th.
I have a story similiar to yours. From what I've been hearing with
parents I know, 4th grade truly seems to be the 'sink or swim' year.
Either you fit in and plug along or you don't and the torture starts
there.
My son's 4th grade year was a misery. It still hurts me today to
recall how he'd have us drag him kicking and screaming to school. Or
the awful day he ran into the snow in socks so we wouldn't take him to
school.
I understand what you're feeling. I didn't really consider
homeschooling as a choice either until the summer after 4th grade. All
I can tell you as far as healing is deschool, deschool, deschool. My
oldest is so much happier. He thanks us for taking him out of school.
He's so glad not to have to go anymore. Both my school age boys hug us
and tell us they love us so much more than they ever did. My 11 yr old
hugs me on a regular basis (and he's not a hugger typically).
Your children will be so thankful for what you've done for them by
taking them out of school.
I surely don't have all the answers. We are still trying to find our
way but at least we are all together and our relationship is strong.
The biggest thing to me that hurt (beyond my son's pure suffering) was
the fact that the school 'takes' your child. You don't know them
anymore, you don't see them anymore, they don't 'belong' to you
anymore. I wasn't, and still am not, ready to let them go.
What a gift this life is.
Best to you,
Tonya
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: psychomom95@...
Some people don't agree with us
homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all the problems, and
learn to deal with it.
-=-=-
EASY answer to this: would you break a child's finger each year
because one day your child might suffer a broken leg? Why wouldn't he
need to endure and learn to deal with that too? <bwg>
Should shut 'em up a bit.
-=-=-=-=-
Now on to my second question. I've read that the state has
required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to know. How do you
fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not worry about it?
My idea is to let my kids get excited about learning again, (I think
it was lost when they were made to learn things they had no interest
in, in school), and to relax, and enjoy living life. I don't want
them to have any added stress and pressure.
-=-=-
Which state?
My state (SC) says the kids have to cover the following subjects:
reading, writing, arithmetic, science, and social studies (notice
there's no higher math, history, art, music, or PE <g>)---and in high
school, reading and writing are changed to literature and composition.
But basically I don't worry about it. How can you go through a week
without "covering" these multiple times???
You could always say that he kids were in *such* a bad school last
year that you had to *demote* them grade-wise to cover what they missed
last year. Then after a couple of years of deschooling (the healing
process), you could "promote" them ahead. <g>
You're the principal, right? <G>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
From: psychomom95@...
Some people don't agree with us
homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all the problems, and
learn to deal with it.
-=-=-
EASY answer to this: would you break a child's finger each year
because one day your child might suffer a broken leg? Why wouldn't he
need to endure and learn to deal with that too? <bwg>
Should shut 'em up a bit.
-=-=-=-=-
Now on to my second question. I've read that the state has
required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to know. How do you
fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not worry about it?
My idea is to let my kids get excited about learning again, (I think
it was lost when they were made to learn things they had no interest
in, in school), and to relax, and enjoy living life. I don't want
them to have any added stress and pressure.
-=-=-
Which state?
My state (SC) says the kids have to cover the following subjects:
reading, writing, arithmetic, science, and social studies (notice
there's no higher math, history, art, music, or PE <g>)---and in high
school, reading and writing are changed to literature and composition.
But basically I don't worry about it. How can you go through a week
without "covering" these multiple times???
You could always say that he kids were in *such* a bad school last
year that you had to *demote* them grade-wise to cover what they missed
last year. Then after a couple of years of deschooling (the healing
process), you could "promote" them ahead. <g>
You're the principal, right? <G>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
Schafer Vanessa
Kelly,
I live in Michigan, where we are a relaxed
homeschooling state. Since I am new to this, I wasn't
sure if we absolutely had to do these subjects.
The ones that they are saying need to be covered are
math, reading, english, science, social studies,
constitution of US of Mi, history present form of
civil government of the US, the state of MI and the
political subdivisions and municipalities of the stae
of MI in high school. I think that's alot of stuff
for them to learn, and things they aren't interested
in. We took them for a tour of the state capitol, and
my kids were totally bored. They absolutely hated it.
Any ways, thanks for all of your help. Keep up the
suggestions, I can use all of them I can get.
--- kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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I live in Michigan, where we are a relaxed
homeschooling state. Since I am new to this, I wasn't
sure if we absolutely had to do these subjects.
The ones that they are saying need to be covered are
math, reading, english, science, social studies,
constitution of US of Mi, history present form of
civil government of the US, the state of MI and the
political subdivisions and municipalities of the stae
of MI in high school. I think that's alot of stuff
for them to learn, and things they aren't interested
in. We took them for a tour of the state capitol, and
my kids were totally bored. They absolutely hated it.
Any ways, thanks for all of your help. Keep up the
suggestions, I can use all of them I can get.
--- kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> -----Original Message-----________________________________________________________________________
> From: psychomom95@...
>
> Some people don't agree with us
> homeschooling-they think my kids should endure all
> the problems, and
> learn to deal with it.
>
> -=-=-
>
> EASY answer to this: would you break a child's
> finger each year
> because one day your child might suffer a broken
> leg? Why wouldn't he
> need to endure and learn to deal with that too?
> <bwg>
>
> Should shut 'em up a bit.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> Now on to my second question. I've read that the
> state has
> required "subjects" that the kids are supposed to
> know. How do you
> fit that in with "unschooling", or do you just not
> worry about it?
> My idea is to let my kids get excited about
> learning again, (I think
> it was lost when they were made to learn things
> they had no interest
> in, in school), and to relax, and enjoy living
> life. I don't want
> them to have any added stress and pressure.
>
> -=-=-
>
> Which state?
>
> My state (SC) says the kids have to cover the
> following subjects:
> reading, writing, arithmetic, science, and social
> studies (notice
> there's no higher math, history, art, music, or PE
> <g>)---and in high
> school, reading and writing are changed to
> literature and composition.
>
> But basically I don't worry about it. How can you
> go through a week
> without "covering" these multiple times???
>
> You could always say that he kids were in *such* a
> bad school last
> year that you had to *demote* them grade-wise to
> cover what they missed
> last year. Then after a couple of years of
> deschooling (the healing
> process), you could "promote" them ahead. <g>
>
> You're the principal, right? <G>
>
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://liveandlearnconference.org
>
> "It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron
> McGlohn. aged 6
>
>
>
> Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, videoVanessa
> search, pictures, email
> and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
>
>
__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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Michelle Leifur Reid
On 8/30/06, Schafer Vanessa <psychomom95@...> wrote:
children is by being active in it. My kids have seen me working on
different people's campaigns, making phone calls to registered voters,
taking an interest in different bills and other pieces of legislation,
and being an active voice to my elected representatives. They've all
been with me to vote and have even gone out with me to help at peace
rallies. I'm not a 100% all out there gal for politics, but on the
issues that are important to me I *am* "all out there!"
Emily (just 12 at the time) probably knew more about the issues
surrounding the last US presidential election than many adults who
actually voted. She thought it totally unfair that she could
comprehend the issues but wasn't allowed to vote, but anyone who was
over 18 whether they could spell vote or not could.
We've had some great discussions on how laws are made and why it is a
good thing for the president to not have "supreme power" and checked
by the other branches of government. Because they have watched both
trials and legislation work their way through the process I would bet
that they understand all those "required subjects" better than
children who are fed dry boring books! Why? Because they are living
it!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
> We took them for a tour of the state capitol, andOne of the best ways that I have introduced our government to my
> my kids were totally bored. They absolutely hated it.
>
children is by being active in it. My kids have seen me working on
different people's campaigns, making phone calls to registered voters,
taking an interest in different bills and other pieces of legislation,
and being an active voice to my elected representatives. They've all
been with me to vote and have even gone out with me to help at peace
rallies. I'm not a 100% all out there gal for politics, but on the
issues that are important to me I *am* "all out there!"
Emily (just 12 at the time) probably knew more about the issues
surrounding the last US presidential election than many adults who
actually voted. She thought it totally unfair that she could
comprehend the issues but wasn't allowed to vote, but anyone who was
over 18 whether they could spell vote or not could.
We've had some great discussions on how laws are made and why it is a
good thing for the president to not have "supreme power" and checked
by the other branches of government. Because they have watched both
trials and legislation work their way through the process I would bet
that they understand all those "required subjects" better than
children who are fed dry boring books! Why? Because they are living
it!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!