Ren Allen

"I try to remember that this is a phase and I will miss it. Most of
the time I can, but when it happens a few times an hour all day, I
have trouble."

I think the key is to fill yourself up when he doesn't need you. Good
self-care when our children are happily involved in a tv show or fun
activity is a great way to stay focused on them when they need you.
Five years old is so very little. They really need a lot of you still,
especially as the oldest child.

My Jalen has older siblings to play with some of the time, so there is
quite a bit more "engaged" time where he doesn't need me...though his
intense behaviors more than make up for that!

If you can really "fill him up" when he needs you, really BE with him
and enjoy your time together, maybe that will make it possible for him
to not feel rushed. If he senses that you don't really want to be with
him, it will cause more neediness, not less. Focus on him when you're
there in the games, focus on his joy and what he needs.

You aren't going to "teach" him problem solving. He'll learn it as
he's ready by having people around him model it and fulfill his very
real needs. He NEEDS what he's asking for. It's not some "negative"
way to act.

Could it be possible that you're expecting something more of him just
because he's that magical "school age" now? He's a wee little man that
needs a lot of his Mum. Giving him what he needs now, is no different
than responding to our infants cries. He's communicating needs, you
have a choice to responds warmly and fully, or being annoyed with it.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com