thanks again for super advice - ready for another about mommy/daddy time??
Amy Mason
I promise I'll leave you good folks alone for a while after this one
but you're spoiling me with great advice and suggestions.
We adore our children and I'm lucky that I have a husband who spends a
lot of time with them when he's home from work but we have always
enjoyed the quiet time to ourselves after the kids are in bed to read,
research on the net, answer emails, play games, watch movies with
hubby, etc...are we going to loose that down time that I think I
really need if I don't have the kids in bed at a certain time? If I
wait until they are asleep I'm too tired to do anything but sleep.
We're already pretty relaxed about bedtime but I have a 5 month old
that goes to sleep around 9 so usually the rest of the kids are up in
bed (our giant "bed" room since we co-sleep) watching a movie or
reading. If I tell them they can stay up and do whatever, will my 5
month old be able to sleep and will they wake my 2 year old after she
falls aleep? My days start at 6 when baby and oldest are usually
awake so there is no time during the day for me to just chill since
I'm always on call to do what they want. So I guess I'm asking is do
we parents ever just have down time even when the kids are awake or
are we being selfish? I want them to know that mommy and daddy enjoy
reading a good book or playing games and watching movies too. We do
all of these things with the kids but what about us?
Thanks again,
Amy in WV
but you're spoiling me with great advice and suggestions.
We adore our children and I'm lucky that I have a husband who spends a
lot of time with them when he's home from work but we have always
enjoyed the quiet time to ourselves after the kids are in bed to read,
research on the net, answer emails, play games, watch movies with
hubby, etc...are we going to loose that down time that I think I
really need if I don't have the kids in bed at a certain time? If I
wait until they are asleep I'm too tired to do anything but sleep.
We're already pretty relaxed about bedtime but I have a 5 month old
that goes to sleep around 9 so usually the rest of the kids are up in
bed (our giant "bed" room since we co-sleep) watching a movie or
reading. If I tell them they can stay up and do whatever, will my 5
month old be able to sleep and will they wake my 2 year old after she
falls aleep? My days start at 6 when baby and oldest are usually
awake so there is no time during the day for me to just chill since
I'm always on call to do what they want. So I guess I'm asking is do
we parents ever just have down time even when the kids are awake or
are we being selfish? I want them to know that mommy and daddy enjoy
reading a good book or playing games and watching movies too. We do
all of these things with the kids but what about us?
Thanks again,
Amy in WV
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: doodlemakers@...
We adore our children and I'm lucky that I have a husband who spends a
lot of time with them when he's home from work but we have always
enjoyed the quiet time to ourselves after the kids are in bed to read,
research on the net, answer emails, play games, watch movies with
hubby, etc...are we going to loose that down time that I think I
really need if I don't have the kids in bed at a certain time?
-==-=-=-
You'll probably lose what you're used to, yes. But there are other
ways to get what you need without going back to the only thing you
know. It's time to get creative. It also helps to be open and honest.
-=-=-=-=-
So I guess I'm asking is do
we parents ever just have down time even when the kids are awake or
are we being selfish?
-=-=-=-=-
Have you ever *asked* for it? Been open and honest and said what you
need?
You won't get as much as you had before you had children. No way. You
had children! <G>
But you can get more than you have now by asking for some quiet
time/alone time/private time.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
From: doodlemakers@...
We adore our children and I'm lucky that I have a husband who spends a
lot of time with them when he's home from work but we have always
enjoyed the quiet time to ourselves after the kids are in bed to read,
research on the net, answer emails, play games, watch movies with
hubby, etc...are we going to loose that down time that I think I
really need if I don't have the kids in bed at a certain time?
-==-=-=-
You'll probably lose what you're used to, yes. But there are other
ways to get what you need without going back to the only thing you
know. It's time to get creative. It also helps to be open and honest.
-=-=-=-=-
So I guess I'm asking is do
we parents ever just have down time even when the kids are awake or
are we being selfish?
-=-=-=-=-
Have you ever *asked* for it? Been open and honest and said what you
need?
You won't get as much as you had before you had children. No way. You
had children! <G>
But you can get more than you have now by asking for some quiet
time/alone time/private time.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"It's a small world...but a BIG life!" ~Aaron McGlohn. aged 6
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 8/6/06, kbcdlovejo@... <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
scheduled "me time" into our weekly lives. A time when I could go off by
myself and do something without a lot of fuss and muss and baby drool
(sometimes I just needed to be drool free for an hour or two). Sometimes I
would go to the movie (I love going to the movies alone) and sometimes it
was just to walk in the mall or do the weekly grocery shopping leisurely or
go out to a church that had an outdoor labyrinth and spiral around it.
These little 1-2 hour breaks were a great way for me to rejuvinate and be
able to come home and better enjoy my children. And they aren't always
going to be little. My children are at an age where they can stay home
alone for a few hours at a time and they enjoy that independence. (Trust
me, your children will get there and sooner than you think!)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Not just of your children but of your spouse as well. For a while I
>
>
> Have you ever *asked* for it? Been open and honest and said what you
> need?
scheduled "me time" into our weekly lives. A time when I could go off by
myself and do something without a lot of fuss and muss and baby drool
(sometimes I just needed to be drool free for an hour or two). Sometimes I
would go to the movie (I love going to the movies alone) and sometimes it
was just to walk in the mall or do the weekly grocery shopping leisurely or
go out to a church that had an outdoor labyrinth and spiral around it.
These little 1-2 hour breaks were a great way for me to rejuvinate and be
able to come home and better enjoy my children. And they aren't always
going to be little. My children are at an age where they can stay home
alone for a few hours at a time and they enjoy that independence. (Trust
me, your children will get there and sooner than you think!)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Hickman
Hi,
We have created an evening where the kids know that after 10pm it is
quiet, especially when Tim has to get up for work the next day. We
have been very clear with the kids to respect anyone who is asleep,
a baby, a dad, a mom. Sleep is valued. That being said, in the
mornings we also have some who sleep later and we keep the
activities quiet until everyone is awake.
What this looks like is Tim (dh) in bed, often with my 9 year old
son sleeping too. My 12 year old dd stays up in her room, quietly
reading or on the computer or watching TV, all quiet, no blaring
loud music and dancing around the house at 11 pm. Last night she
wanted to iron at midnight. I actually asked her to wait until the
morning, being that the openning and closing of the ironing board
would be noisy as would putting her clothes away. The closet is the
wall where the sleeping people are.. Who knows a kid who wants to
iron their own clothes... That is another post all together. She's
ironing now.
My 6 year old is the night owl. She and I have evolved a very
workable routine. She quietly plays in her room, I lay down in
another room and when she is finally ready for sleep, I crawl into
her bed and we sleep. I get anywhere from 15-45 minutes. i could
read, but usually I meditate or just space or sleep.
Now, when do Tim and I have time together? We take what we can get.
Sometimes it coffee and tea in the eveings while the kids play
happily. Sometimes it being together early in the morning. We don't
watch movies that the kids can't watch, we watch movies together.
Last night Tim and I cuddled on the bed while the 2 little ones
played game cube, so we were all together, yet having our own
experiences, yes G rated, but a back rub feels good no matter what.
Tim is very sweet and he knows there will be a time just around the
corner where we will be alone missing all this chaos. That helps a
ton.
So I would suggest finding out each persons needs and then looking
at how to meet those needs. Yes, the baby needs to stay asleep, as
does the 2 year old, maybe moving the TV in another space for those
who will be still awake, or get another TV. And remember your needs
are important too, so how much time do you want separate how
regualrly, what are you will to do to get that? We know a few
families who have a babysitting co-op. Each Friday night, 1 family
takes the kids, has movies, popcorn, fun together, the other
families have a free night to go out or stay in. Each family hosts 1
time a month, so that leaves 3-4 Friday nights for adult time
together.
Good luck
Mary
We have created an evening where the kids know that after 10pm it is
quiet, especially when Tim has to get up for work the next day. We
have been very clear with the kids to respect anyone who is asleep,
a baby, a dad, a mom. Sleep is valued. That being said, in the
mornings we also have some who sleep later and we keep the
activities quiet until everyone is awake.
What this looks like is Tim (dh) in bed, often with my 9 year old
son sleeping too. My 12 year old dd stays up in her room, quietly
reading or on the computer or watching TV, all quiet, no blaring
loud music and dancing around the house at 11 pm. Last night she
wanted to iron at midnight. I actually asked her to wait until the
morning, being that the openning and closing of the ironing board
would be noisy as would putting her clothes away. The closet is the
wall where the sleeping people are.. Who knows a kid who wants to
iron their own clothes... That is another post all together. She's
ironing now.
My 6 year old is the night owl. She and I have evolved a very
workable routine. She quietly plays in her room, I lay down in
another room and when she is finally ready for sleep, I crawl into
her bed and we sleep. I get anywhere from 15-45 minutes. i could
read, but usually I meditate or just space or sleep.
Now, when do Tim and I have time together? We take what we can get.
Sometimes it coffee and tea in the eveings while the kids play
happily. Sometimes it being together early in the morning. We don't
watch movies that the kids can't watch, we watch movies together.
Last night Tim and I cuddled on the bed while the 2 little ones
played game cube, so we were all together, yet having our own
experiences, yes G rated, but a back rub feels good no matter what.
Tim is very sweet and he knows there will be a time just around the
corner where we will be alone missing all this chaos. That helps a
ton.
So I would suggest finding out each persons needs and then looking
at how to meet those needs. Yes, the baby needs to stay asleep, as
does the 2 year old, maybe moving the TV in another space for those
who will be still awake, or get another TV. And remember your needs
are important too, so how much time do you want separate how
regualrly, what are you will to do to get that? We know a few
families who have a babysitting co-op. Each Friday night, 1 family
takes the kids, has movies, popcorn, fun together, the other
families have a free night to go out or stay in. Each family hosts 1
time a month, so that leaves 3-4 Friday nights for adult time
together.
Good luck
Mary