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I sent this to a local traditional homeschool list in my state and thought
I'd FWD it here.. I The original post was seeking a unschool friendly
councilor in my state for a child who had lost a sibling. Another parent asked the
difference between unschooling and homeschooling. I think her Q was meaning why
an unschool friendly councilor.. Being on this list for years I know
unschooling is a bit misunderstood as not parenting (or not as welcomed as
Abeka)and more so I wrote this... Laura

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A few parents have said on my unschool list that counselors sometimes
suggest that the parent do a more structured style of learning or school to
distract the child from what worries or saddens them. I disagree with this thinking.
School is not the way to mend child's heart.

The difference between unschooling and homeschooling (IMO) is more a
parenting style/life than an educational one. I realize that contradicts what
someone just said and it may make sense to some but I think that is where the
confusion comes in. The parenting style needs change before the educational style
is openly tweaked/dropped. It is key to success in unschooling(again IMO).
You cannot unschool if the parent is not on board bc they are after all the
"love" that is needed to support the child along. Love meaning support that
child seeks guided by them and their interests. Much more than can be explained
in one email..

Unschooling is still misunderstood in Maine. I've had my list for a few
years and people still say we unschool except Math &/or English.. whatever
subject.. unschooling does not focus on subjects it focuses on a happy family and
individual interests. Unschooling has become a popular label/style with mixed
understanding(at least locally). Allowing a child freedom and then ripping
the rug out from under them is not unschooling. Once people understand what it
"really" is they discover it is one of the top gentlest-child
centered-family focused styles out there.
It is often the chosen path when crisis hits and a healing one that focuses
on the heart of the child.

Unschooling is based on 100% supportive 24/7 parental trust. If that trust
comes and goes it can affect the outcome.
I often say one cannot unschool part time bc I feel it cannot be done
successfully on a PT basis. Relaxed homeschool or unit studies come close
(sorta/maybe not) but they are not unschooling bc the parental trust/relax needs to be
there. A child can enjoy a topic of interest and get it without a test or
lesson plan if they can freely choose how much or how little time to spend on
it.
I'm not talking basic trust. What I mean is allowing the child to be who
they are without drawing the line when something crosses a parental comfort zone
of what they appear to be relaxed about but really had a firm hidden line
drawn.
We teach our children to try new things and that has to be something the
parent examples. Many parents have no hobbies,play or explore (a recent
discussion on one of the ww lists)but
expect the kids to. A child is born curious but it is parent who limit
that...

Many things unschoolers do not do is punish,force chores,curriculum, spank,
control,limit tv, movies,video games, limit/require certain food etc... On
the surface that sounds wacky but as a former Marine trust me I know control.
The difference is we don't have those need-to do/control bc our children do
not engage in things that cause us alarm or a want to limit. We do help guide
them when they seek it.. sure ..but it's not anything we make a rule over bc
we don't have a relationship based on rule breaking.

Unschooling takes some weeks to get and others years. It's not a religion
but it certainly takes some a similar time to get there.
As an unschooling parent (radical I guess) of 4 fully unschooling children
ages 2-14 (almost 15) I see the difference between my teen who had some
schooling experience and my smaller 3 who did not.
My younger children come to learning more easily where my son knows and
remembers the "you need to learn this" bells and whistles going off which creates
a block for him.

My daughter a few weeks ago at 11pm was asking me math questions. As an uns
chool family I don't label the subject, tell her it's to late or continue if
she doesn't understand it (or want to)bc I know she will come back to it when
she's ready(vs me being ready to explain it). I used life examples like our
dogs, food she was eating or items on the counter we were at. That night we
discussed multiplication (without the label) and she understood it. She's 6 ,
as an unschooler I didn't see a need to wait bc she was doing 2x2 and 4x4. Age
or grade doesn't matter to an unschooler either. She learned it not from a
book but rather being able to have the time to think about things in her mind
rather than given busy work. She then came to me when she wanted more
information. I never came close to those conversations with my son who hated school
when he was her age.
This is getting lengthy...

There is an interview I did in May that might be helpful. It drags in the
beginning and I cannot speak to some of his political comments so FFWD over
them if it drags.
_http://wmpg.org/archivefiles/Homedad/2006mp3s/184Unschooling42506.mp3_
(http://wmpg.org/archivefiles/Homedad/2006mp3s/184Unschooling42506.mp3)

Clearly Homeschooling works for many, we simply expanded our lifestyle to
unschooling.

Laura
UnscholingMaine.com



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