[email protected]

In a message dated 7/1/2006 8:54:59 AM Eastern Standard Time,
fetteroll@... writes:
The problem is that when we invest time in something, we need to
receive something of equal value in return.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I believe I've mentioned this before but thank you again for the time you put
in here to help newcomers like us try to do better. We are taking many baby
steps and some giant leaps towards unschooling and more mindful parenting. We
also have those moments where we fail our children (and ourselves) terribly
when our cruel traditional methods rear their ugly heads. I have consistently
sought and found new ideas on this list and ALL suggestions that we have
allowed ourselves to be open to and implemented have worked tremendously well for
our family. Some things have taken a bit longer to get through my brain and to
unlearn our old ways. We're headed in the right direction though and we see
that our children are already better people because of the changes we are
going through.

This is not a simple journey and I think some of the visitors to this list
are less than enthusiastic because it is difficult to examine one's self and
admit that changes need to be made. They come, they're curious, they question
and when they realize what is ahead, they run and hide or fight the ideas
because it's easier than facing the music. I compare it to having acid reflux or
high blood pressure. Most people in our society are unwilling to change their
diets and/or lifestyles because it's too much work. Taking medication is so
much easier and requires no real change.

Where are you ladies hiding the magic unschooling pills?

Thank you for all the time you spend sharing your amazing wisdom. It really
is working for us. It is getting through.

Warmly,
Robin


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Jul 1, 2006, at 11:20 AM, ohpurple1@... wrote:

> I believe I've mentioned this before but thank you again for the
> time you put
> in here to help newcomers like us try to do better.

Thank you! And you're very welcome :-)

> We are taking many baby
> steps and some giant leaps towards unschooling and more mindful
> parenting.

It's really hard to do it all at once! I think the discussion comes
across as all or nothing because it's not about supporting *people*
but supporting the difficult task of letting go.


> We
> also have those moments where we fail our children (and ourselves)
> terribly
> when our cruel traditional methods rear their ugly heads.

Yup. We all have tapes.

I think it's important not to beat ourselves up for our slip ups. I
think it's important to divorce our sense of value as people from
mistakes or even choices we made. Our sense of value should come from
trying to be better than trying to be right.

And in order to try to make better choices, we need a clear vision of
where we're trying to get to. And that's what the list is about.

But no one need to go the whole way.

>
> This is not a simple journey and I think some of the visitors to
> this list
> are less than enthusiastic because it is difficult to examine one's
> self and
> admit that changes need to be made.

Absolutely. Often we make choices because they're convenient for
ourselves. They make life easier at the expense of other people. It's
easier to make kids do chores than to do it all yourself. (Or in
theory anyway! The tension of reminding and punishing and talking and
whatever other energy parents pour into getting others to do chores
isn't inconsequential!)

If something feels like it's working, there isn't any reason to
change. But many people read and find their persepctive starts
shifting and they see what seemed so calm and smooth before doesn't
seem that way from their kids points of view.

And sometimes people find conventional parenting techniques work.
They *think* their kids are kind and helpful and thoughtful *because*
of conventional parenting. But if that were true, all conventionally
parenting kids would be kind and helpful and thoughtful. Quite the
opposite is true. So it's something else that's counteracting the
conventional parenting. They just aren't able to see or explain what
it is they're doing. It might be some naturally respectful way
they're talking that they grew up with. But it's the respect that's
what's working. Offering chores as a valid way of getting the house
clean is not going to turn all kids into happy volunteer helpers ;-)

>
> Where are you ladies hiding the magic unschooling pills?

They're handed out at the conferences ;-)

>
> Thank you for all the time you spend sharing your amazing wisdom.
> It really
> is working for us. It is getting through.

I'm really glad!

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>
> Where are you ladies hiding the magic unschooling pills?

They're handed out at the conferences ;-)

-=-=-=-=-

The whole past was wonderful, but *this* stuck out! <g>


~Kelly, pill pusher <g>


Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities
of what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible.
They go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll


________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.

camden

You crack me up !! <bbbbbbbbbwg!>

Carol

----- Original Message -----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 10:07 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] This Value of This List



-----Original Message-----
From: Joyce Fetteroll <fetteroll@...>
>
> Where are you ladies hiding the magic unschooling pills?

They're handed out at the conferences ;-)

-=-=-=-=-

The whole past was wonderful, but *this* stuck out! <g>

~Kelly, pill pusher <g>

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities
of what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible.
They go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll

__________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]