Shannnon and Eric

Hello to all,

I need a little advise. My DD (6) has a homeschool friend from our group whom she has
been spending a lot of time with. The girl is (8) and they have recently had a sleepover
together.

This situation seems very complex but I'll try and keep it simple.

During their sleep over the friend chewed on some art pencils that are very important to
my daughter. She asked her to stop and she didn't. The friend didn't seem to want to
take any responsiblity for her actions and while my daughter was cying asked me to make
her stop. I told her that I couldn't stop her from being upset because that was how she
was feeling.

After my daughter calmed down she asked for something to eat. After eating they began
to play and watch T.V. together. I checked with my daughter to see if everything was o.k..
and she said yes.

Since then my daughter has asked for a hampster and her friend offered her a cage. My
daughter agreed to include her friend in getting the hampster. Since then the girl has
called many times to tell my daughter how to care for it, how much money she needs from
me, that she has a list of names she should choose from. These calls began to upset my
daughter - she felt as though her friend was trying to control the situation. This is
probably a fair to say.

I noticed that my daughter was acting out. I kept checking in with her about having the
girl participate in selecting the pet and she kept saying that she wanted her to come.

The night before my daughter seemed especially on edge, she finally admitted that she
didn't want the girl to come. Early in the day she said that she was afraid that the girl
wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. She feels like the friend is telling her what to do
and also brought up the situation from the sleepover. My daughter feels the girl is telling
me to shut her up when she cries.

I spoke to the girls mother, she understood but sent an email the next day that the girl
was upset, crying all night and into the morning. The girl feels betrayed by my daughter.

The girls mother and I hope there is something to be learned by all in the situation. Both
girls seem too upset right now to heal the situation easily. Just wondering if anyone has
any advise.

We are in a very small homeschool group with this family and would like to try and figure
something out.

Thanks,
Shannon
Mom to
Mackenzie (6)
Nate (2)