daughter thinking about going to school
lynne4t
Since the early spring my 12yo lifelong unschooled dd has been showing
an interest in going to school. We arranged for her to visit the
middle school with her best friend in April and she came home saying
she "loved" it.
She's still on the fence about registering for this September. She
realizes one day isn't an accurate picture of real school life. We
talked about her needing to make a decision about going because we'll
need to get her "caught up" academically and vaccination-wise before
the new school year starts. (I thought once she knew she needed
vaccinations she'd change her mind for sure lol!) I suggested she
make a pros and cons list, but she rightly pointed out that she
doesn't know the pros and cons because she's never really been to
school.
My question is: how much input would you have? She knows her dad and
I want her home, but we don't want to pressure her. I'm kind of
wishing that I'd been more vocally anti-school while she was growing
up, but because we had so many schooled friends and relatives I've
never really badmouthed the system. Didn't really see a need to, but
now I'm wondering if she doesn't know enough about why we unschool.
If I tell her what I think now, will she think I'm just trying to
persuade her? For us, not going to school has simply been a way of
life. There was never any "huge" reason why we didn't send her, but
there are a million good reasons. And how would I tell her how school
can affect her in ways she won't even realize? These abstact reasons
are probably biggest reasons we don't want her to go, yet for me,
they're some of the hardest to explain in a way a 12 yo will understand.
As far as her reasons for wanting to go it seems it's just natural
curiosity fueling her. I know her best friend with ulterior motives
tries to convince her that school is great, which she thankfully sees
through, but it's got her wondering. She does have plenty of friends,
but most are schooled. She loved the unschoolers she met at the
Peabody Conference and has kept in touch with some. I think there's
also some level of her wanting to see "how she would do" grade-wise at
school. This brings up the issue of getting her "caught up". I just
printed up the mathematics curriculum framework for 6th grade, (she'd
be entering 7th) and I couldn't solve the problems myself without
studying up. I know she could catch up, but honestly don't know how
to teach this stuff. I actually did very well in Math at school, but
of course that knowledge is long gone from my brain!
Also, signing her up for the school year would interfere with several
cool plans we had, one of which was a possible trip to Albuquerque in
Sept. and a trip to Disney in Nov., both of which she was/is excited
about. Looking at the school dept. website, it looks like they have
pretty low tolerance for absenteeism. We were planning a two week RV
trip down to FL and back avoiding the school vacation crowds. I
suggested maybe we wait until after our trips to start school, but she
wanted to start with everyone else in Sept. if she decides to go,
which I think would probably be best anyway. So, everything is so up
in the air and I need her to decide soon. I know this is irrelevant,
but it would break our hearts if she decided to go.
Sorry this is so long, but there are a lot of variables and reading
other posts I know it's best to get out as much info as possible to
get applicable advice. Thanks for taking the time!
an interest in going to school. We arranged for her to visit the
middle school with her best friend in April and she came home saying
she "loved" it.
She's still on the fence about registering for this September. She
realizes one day isn't an accurate picture of real school life. We
talked about her needing to make a decision about going because we'll
need to get her "caught up" academically and vaccination-wise before
the new school year starts. (I thought once she knew she needed
vaccinations she'd change her mind for sure lol!) I suggested she
make a pros and cons list, but she rightly pointed out that she
doesn't know the pros and cons because she's never really been to
school.
My question is: how much input would you have? She knows her dad and
I want her home, but we don't want to pressure her. I'm kind of
wishing that I'd been more vocally anti-school while she was growing
up, but because we had so many schooled friends and relatives I've
never really badmouthed the system. Didn't really see a need to, but
now I'm wondering if she doesn't know enough about why we unschool.
If I tell her what I think now, will she think I'm just trying to
persuade her? For us, not going to school has simply been a way of
life. There was never any "huge" reason why we didn't send her, but
there are a million good reasons. And how would I tell her how school
can affect her in ways she won't even realize? These abstact reasons
are probably biggest reasons we don't want her to go, yet for me,
they're some of the hardest to explain in a way a 12 yo will understand.
As far as her reasons for wanting to go it seems it's just natural
curiosity fueling her. I know her best friend with ulterior motives
tries to convince her that school is great, which she thankfully sees
through, but it's got her wondering. She does have plenty of friends,
but most are schooled. She loved the unschoolers she met at the
Peabody Conference and has kept in touch with some. I think there's
also some level of her wanting to see "how she would do" grade-wise at
school. This brings up the issue of getting her "caught up". I just
printed up the mathematics curriculum framework for 6th grade, (she'd
be entering 7th) and I couldn't solve the problems myself without
studying up. I know she could catch up, but honestly don't know how
to teach this stuff. I actually did very well in Math at school, but
of course that knowledge is long gone from my brain!
Also, signing her up for the school year would interfere with several
cool plans we had, one of which was a possible trip to Albuquerque in
Sept. and a trip to Disney in Nov., both of which she was/is excited
about. Looking at the school dept. website, it looks like they have
pretty low tolerance for absenteeism. We were planning a two week RV
trip down to FL and back avoiding the school vacation crowds. I
suggested maybe we wait until after our trips to start school, but she
wanted to start with everyone else in Sept. if she decides to go,
which I think would probably be best anyway. So, everything is so up
in the air and I need her to decide soon. I know this is irrelevant,
but it would break our hearts if she decided to go.
Sorry this is so long, but there are a lot of variables and reading
other posts I know it's best to get out as much info as possible to
get applicable advice. Thanks for taking the time!
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 17, 2006, at 8:08 AM, lynne4t wrote:
have her read a bit about school - such as an essay or two from,
"Dumbing Us Down?" Or the first few chapters of, "The Teenage
Liberation Handbook?"
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My question is: how much input would you have? She knows her dad andShe needs more information about the negatives of school. Could you
> I want her home, but we don't want to pressure her. I'm kind of
> wishing that I'd been more vocally anti-school while she was growing
> up, but because we had so many schooled friends and relatives I've
> never really badmouthed the system.
have her read a bit about school - such as an essay or two from,
"Dumbing Us Down?" Or the first few chapters of, "The Teenage
Liberation Handbook?"
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]