Ren Allen

"So it's a big lie to tell a child their Little League team will
suffer if they quit."

YES!! I think it's really, really important for kids to dip their toe
in the pool of many activities as part of their learning experience. I
purposely sign my kids up for LOW stress, LOW commitment versions of
things they want to try on purpose!! If they want to continue and get
more serious, we can up the ante slowly.

Nobody has really pointed that out yet. WHY go with Little League as
their first experience? Why not try YMCA or some other LOW commitment
team sport? There are LOADS of choices.
In fact, Trevor's first experience with baseball was a group of
homeschoolers getting together to form a very cooperative team so the
kids could learn the sport without all the stress.

There were girls and boys, kids of all colors and even some with
disabilities. It was a very supportive coach-pitch team and the whole
point was having fun, learning baseball and making friends. No
pressure. The kids cheered for everyone, no matter how good or awful
they played.
Great experience.

Then, we signed up for city league. Got a REALLY lameass coach and
instead of letting him quit at the first sign of unhappiness, we did
that whole "your team is counting on you CRAP".

You know what? That team would not have done better or worse whether
my son was there or not. But all these years later, he still doesn't
want to play baseball ever again.
My child will ALWAYS come before some damn team.

As they learn what they like, as they learn I'm their advocate and
ally, as they learn and grow and develop responsibility they will
learn about when to quit and when it's better to stick it
out...without their parents getting credit for making them do it. They
learn how to listen to their OWN voice. That makes for much more
self-driven people than those that are pushed or forced.

There is the flip-side too. Parents that aren't being advocates, but
simply absent. Parents that DON'T explain to a child how their actions
affect others...ever. Parents that aren't helping a child navigate and
consider all the different angles of an issue. That isn't what we're
advocating here. But we ARE advocating for trusting the child and
listening to them! Our ideals are not more important than their own
comfort level.

I know that if my child needs to get away from an activity, they need
me to listen and trust their choice.
I was forced to continue piano lessons against my will for quite a
while. If I'd been allowed to quit when *I* wanted to, I'd have picked
it up again. I wanted more lessons in high school and my parents
attitude was "well you decided to quit, tough luck now"
Stupid.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com