intimacy and sharing
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In a message dated 9/22/02 10:29:11 PM, peggy@... writes:
<< Most of our sharing seems to be long distant and not intimate and
that is so different from much of the world or even our own history. >>
I have more intimate sharings with some of the e-mail friends than I have had
in the past with neighbors who came over for tea and hung out. You can live
a life without "prying" or "gossiping" or sharing, which is like a waterbug
on the surface of the water. Is that intimate? It's "proper," and polite,
and by the etiquette book.
If you read 19th century etiquette books, books about how letters should be
written, examples of period letters from the Renaissance and forward, one of
the main points seems to be NOT to really share. The liveliest letter
collection I have is Mozart, mostly to his sister, But he was a hyperactive,
idiosyncratic nut. He wasn't "proper." Proper meant talking about as little
as possible. Leaving calling cards and using form letters out of a book with
samples and examples that many people honestly used to copy word for word.
My friend Hannah left the state years ago. Just this morning I got a letter
from her about her dad's sudden death, her feelings for her dad, her
miscarriage (third child) while she was there for the funeral and her thought
that the baby wanted to be with her dad. And her sex life, her brother's
move in with her (with wife and child), her neighbor who hosts a republican
rally the same weekend on his land each year as he lets the SCA have a big
tournament, over the hills, and he takes the Republican fund-raising crowd
over there to see the SCA tournament, every year.
That's some interesting and useful and real stuff.
Of my neighboroo much and tell their kids to be quiet all the time. Across
the cul de sac? Druggies. Not too bright. Not too honest.
Perhaps that's enough for me to know. (I do know more, but it's not
uplifting, not happy, not an addition to my children's peace and prosperity.)
<<Is there anything lonelier or more isolated than the typical suburban
dweller down on
their luck? >>
True in some cases, but there are meetings and churches and for all the
criticism they get, there are social services people, and there are free
classes in most communities.
If they're way suburban without transportation THAT can be pretty damned
isolating.
Sandra
<< Most of our sharing seems to be long distant and not intimate and
that is so different from much of the world or even our own history. >>
I have more intimate sharings with some of the e-mail friends than I have had
in the past with neighbors who came over for tea and hung out. You can live
a life without "prying" or "gossiping" or sharing, which is like a waterbug
on the surface of the water. Is that intimate? It's "proper," and polite,
and by the etiquette book.
If you read 19th century etiquette books, books about how letters should be
written, examples of period letters from the Renaissance and forward, one of
the main points seems to be NOT to really share. The liveliest letter
collection I have is Mozart, mostly to his sister, But he was a hyperactive,
idiosyncratic nut. He wasn't "proper." Proper meant talking about as little
as possible. Leaving calling cards and using form letters out of a book with
samples and examples that many people honestly used to copy word for word.
My friend Hannah left the state years ago. Just this morning I got a letter
from her about her dad's sudden death, her feelings for her dad, her
miscarriage (third child) while she was there for the funeral and her thought
that the baby wanted to be with her dad. And her sex life, her brother's
move in with her (with wife and child), her neighbor who hosts a republican
rally the same weekend on his land each year as he lets the SCA have a big
tournament, over the hills, and he takes the Republican fund-raising crowd
over there to see the SCA tournament, every year.
That's some interesting and useful and real stuff.
Of my neighboroo much and tell their kids to be quiet all the time. Across
the cul de sac? Druggies. Not too bright. Not too honest.
Perhaps that's enough for me to know. (I do know more, but it's not
uplifting, not happy, not an addition to my children's peace and prosperity.)
<<Is there anything lonelier or more isolated than the typical suburban
dweller down on
their luck? >>
True in some cases, but there are meetings and churches and for all the
criticism they get, there are social services people, and there are free
classes in most communities.
If they're way suburban without transportation THAT can be pretty damned
isolating.
Sandra