[email protected]

In a message dated 9/9/02 11:55:40 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< It's super easy to meet people that way and the
whining will end because she'll be too tired or busy. (sorry, attitude
slipped there...) >>

I think that if the child is stressed out over the parental control, the best
thing that can happen is them being super comforting and stop the controlling.
If she's shy, introverted or less gregarious, I don't think the above is
necessarily the way to handle it. Help her learn to trust herself again is
the first step.

Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/02 2:45:35 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< It's got nothing to do really with being extro or intro, but everything to
do with being responsible for your own life and not blaming others for what
you are or aren't. >>

I guess you read something into it that I did not. I didn't feel she blamed
her parents for being an introvert.....I read that she was stressed out,
hated school and blamed her parents for a lot of her stress because of their
controlling methods.
Besides, school teaches people to take no responsibility for either the good
or bad, someone else gets credit for "teaching" us something or blame us if
the "teaching" isn't working.
If she is blaming others for her own lack of responsibility, don't you think
it's appropriate since the person in question has been in school most of her
life.
It is the parent's fault for being over controlling, it is the schools fault
for stressing her out.
What they need is some healing, comfort for the young lady and freedom to
find herself again so that she CAN truly take responsibility for her own life.
How can she take responsibility for anything when control over her decisions
is not hers?

Ren

Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

>hated school and blamed her parents for a lot of her stress because of their
>controlling methods.

Ah, see, I missed the 'controlling methods' part. Changes most everything,
du'nt it. Poor thing.
I hope she finds a way out that suits her or that her dad gets so busy and
tired that he forgets to control her much!

If she's old enough and really wants to, she could emancipate herself and
find her own way through life. I think she'd need to be 17, tho I'm not
sure about that.

Good luck,
Heidi (who was the first child of a very controlling father but 'escaped'
at age 16 and now we get along fine so long as we don't talk politics or
religion which means we have a lot of companionable silence.)