Re: bedtimes/porn
[email protected]
****It seems to come from some long time
members who have a tendency to jump on the newcomers who are honestly and
hopefully looking for support in their new found or difficult journey of
unschooling, whether it be recent or not.****
Might it be that you feel jumped on when that's not the intent? It is so
easy to feel like we're being criticized because so many of us have had
to deal with criticism from family and friends and sometimes spouses
about our choice to unschool. When it seems like it comes at us from
everywhere maybe we loose perspective some.
****What it does look like, from some, is the "not in
my house never with my kids I always know exactly what to do and always
have
attitude." ****
And this might be what it looks like to the people on the other side of
the discussion. So many times we hear "I know what's best for my kids"
and what the person is hiding behind is their excuse to spank, or shame
or control their kids. I'm not talking about any one here personally,
but when we hear this
"I monitor" "I won't allow" to people who know they can trust their
children, those are words with "attitude". This really is the kind of
thing that gets addressed on unschooling lists.
****Some have actually said, "what I do when that happens is, or why
don't you try etc" but for the most part, no solutions have been
mentioned,
just nit picking terms and words and some saying that what they are doing
is
wrong. ****
I'm really sorry if it feels like nit picking and not help. The thing is
sometimes people need to really think about what they are doing that
might be prompting certain behaviors in their kids. That's not always
the case, but sometimes it is and it really can't hurt parents to think
about their parenting and how they could improve on what they're doing.
No, it's not the job of anyone on this list to tell anyone else how to
parent, BUT if people come and ask a question on an unschooling list they
are going to get unschooling responses.
I think it would help to "assume" every post is meant in the most helpful
way and not meant as a criticism. If it feels like a criticism maybe
there really is something inside that needs to be examined.
What if you really did get "What I do when this happens" responses and
you just didn't read them that way. I DO see the responses here that
way.
Saying that building trust with your kids is a good way to give them
healthy attitudes about sex and women isn't a criticism of the kind of
parenting that's been going on so far, it's just the unschoolish way to
say, control and monitoring might do it but wouldn't everyone be better
off if there was no reason to control and monitor.
Sometimes things that really make me mad and defensive are things I need
to look at within myself and sort out.
People here really are trying to offer good unschooling information. No
one wants to hurt anyone else. If you start from there, maybe the posts
will seem less threatening to you.
Deb L, only scary in the mornings, before coffee.
members who have a tendency to jump on the newcomers who are honestly and
hopefully looking for support in their new found or difficult journey of
unschooling, whether it be recent or not.****
Might it be that you feel jumped on when that's not the intent? It is so
easy to feel like we're being criticized because so many of us have had
to deal with criticism from family and friends and sometimes spouses
about our choice to unschool. When it seems like it comes at us from
everywhere maybe we loose perspective some.
****What it does look like, from some, is the "not in
my house never with my kids I always know exactly what to do and always
have
attitude." ****
And this might be what it looks like to the people on the other side of
the discussion. So many times we hear "I know what's best for my kids"
and what the person is hiding behind is their excuse to spank, or shame
or control their kids. I'm not talking about any one here personally,
but when we hear this
"I monitor" "I won't allow" to people who know they can trust their
children, those are words with "attitude". This really is the kind of
thing that gets addressed on unschooling lists.
****Some have actually said, "what I do when that happens is, or why
don't you try etc" but for the most part, no solutions have been
mentioned,
just nit picking terms and words and some saying that what they are doing
is
wrong. ****
I'm really sorry if it feels like nit picking and not help. The thing is
sometimes people need to really think about what they are doing that
might be prompting certain behaviors in their kids. That's not always
the case, but sometimes it is and it really can't hurt parents to think
about their parenting and how they could improve on what they're doing.
No, it's not the job of anyone on this list to tell anyone else how to
parent, BUT if people come and ask a question on an unschooling list they
are going to get unschooling responses.
I think it would help to "assume" every post is meant in the most helpful
way and not meant as a criticism. If it feels like a criticism maybe
there really is something inside that needs to be examined.
What if you really did get "What I do when this happens" responses and
you just didn't read them that way. I DO see the responses here that
way.
Saying that building trust with your kids is a good way to give them
healthy attitudes about sex and women isn't a criticism of the kind of
parenting that's been going on so far, it's just the unschoolish way to
say, control and monitoring might do it but wouldn't everyone be better
off if there was no reason to control and monitor.
Sometimes things that really make me mad and defensive are things I need
to look at within myself and sort out.
People here really are trying to offer good unschooling information. No
one wants to hurt anyone else. If you start from there, maybe the posts
will seem less threatening to you.
Deb L, only scary in the mornings, before coffee.
Sharon Rudd
??????? Was this a post off-list? I only got a reply,
to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
Bedtimes/porn.
Sharon of the Swamp
No
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to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
Bedtimes/porn.
Sharon of the Swamp
> ****It seems to come from some long timeBUT if people come and ask a question on an
> members who have a tendency to jump on the newcomers
> who are honestly and
>
> hopefully looking for support in their new found or
> difficult journey of
> unschooling, whether it be recent or not.****
>................................................................................................................
> unschooling list they............................................................................................................
> are going to get unschooling responses.
>
No
> one wants to hurt anyone else. If you start fromyou..........................................................
> there, maybe the posts
> will seem less threatening to
> only scary in the mornings, before coffee.__________________________________________________
>
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Karen
It's been a major thread at another list and I'm thinking the person got her
lists crossed.
Karen
-----Original Message-----
From: Sharon Rudd [mailto:bearspawprint@...]
Sent: Monday, September 09, 2002 9:45 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: bedtimes/porn
??????? Was this a post off-list? I only got a reply,
to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
Bedtimes/porn.
Sharon of the Swamp
BUT if people come and ask a question on an
................................
No
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lists crossed.
Karen
-----Original Message-----
From: Sharon Rudd [mailto:bearspawprint@...]
Sent: Monday, September 09, 2002 9:45 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: bedtimes/porn
??????? Was this a post off-list? I only got a reply,
to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
Bedtimes/porn.
Sharon of the Swamp
> ****It seems to come from some long time.....................................
> members who have a tendency to jump on the newcomers
> who are honestly and
>
> hopefully looking for support in their new found or
> difficult journey of
> unschooling, whether it be recent or not.****
>...........................................................................
BUT if people come and ask a question on an
> unschooling list they............................................................................
> are going to get unschooling responses.
>
................................
No
> one wants to hurt anyone else. If you start fromyou..........................................................
> there, maybe the posts
> will seem less threatening to
> only scary in the mornings, before coffee.__________________________________________________
>
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http://finance.yahoo.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Sharon Rudd
Oh.
Sharon of the Swamp
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Sharon of the Swamp
> It's been a major thread at another list and I'm__________________________________________________
> thinking the person got her
> lists crossed.
>
> Karen
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[email protected]
Sorry,
I forgot to hit the little button to send it to only the one place.
Different list.
It's not a good excuse but I was sleepy.
Sorry Sharon.
Deb aka Maroon
I forgot to hit the little button to send it to only the one place.
Different list.
It's not a good excuse but I was sleepy.
Sorry Sharon.
Deb aka Maroon
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 9:46:49 AM Central Daylight Time,
bearspawprint@... writes:
changed at some point to better reflect the subject. I think it was posted
under the discussion of Christian homeschoolers or bed times or both and got
changed to porn. <g> I could have been worse! *Christian
homeschoolers/bedtimes/porn* Darin thinks we have all gone over the edge and
he has just read the subject headings. @@
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bearspawprint@... writes:
> ??????? Was this a post off-list? I only got a reply,The original question was probably posted under another heading, and was
> to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
> all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
> Bedtimes/porn.
>
> Sharon of the Swamp
>
changed at some point to better reflect the subject. I think it was posted
under the discussion of Christian homeschoolers or bed times or both and got
changed to porn. <g> I could have been worse! *Christian
homeschoolers/bedtimes/porn* Darin thinks we have all gone over the edge and
he has just read the subject headings. @@
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sharon Rudd
OK, DebL aka Peacemaker on Other List, and in World at
Large
Thanks
Sharon of the Swamp
--- ddzimlew@... wrote:
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Large
Thanks
Sharon of the Swamp
--- ddzimlew@... wrote:
> Sorry,__________________________________________________
> I forgot to hit the little button to send it to only
> the one place.
> Different list.
> It's not a good excuse but I was sleepy.
>
> Sorry Sharon.
>
> Deb aka Maroon
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 11:47:44 AM Central Daylight Time, Dnowens@...
writes:
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> > ??????? Was this a post off-list? I only got a reply,OOPS! I now realize what list *I* am on! <g>
> > to the bedtimes/porn....no original post(s) at
> > all??????? Sounds like an intersting topic.
> > Bedtimes/porn.
> >
> > Sharon of the Swamp
> >
>
> The original question was probably posted under another heading, and was
> changed at some point to better reflect the subject.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 11:55:40 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< ??????? Was this a post off-list? >>
LOL
Nancy got her lists mixed up. It was at the unschooling.com list.
Very interesting and heated discussion. You might have been better off
missing it....
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< ??????? Was this a post off-list? >>
LOL
Nancy got her lists mixed up. It was at the unschooling.com list.
Very interesting and heated discussion. You might have been better off
missing it....
Ren
Sharon Rudd
It was at the
DebL"s reply and the "you're picking on
me" excerpts she replied to. Ya'll are SO sweet
to keep being good examples for the thundering herd.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
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> unschooling.com list.I figured that, from the soothing quality of
>
DebL"s reply and the "you're picking on
me" excerpts she replied to. Ya'll are SO sweet
to keep being good examples for the thundering herd.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
Yahoo! - We Remember
9-11: A tribute to the more than 3,000 lives lost
http://dir.remember.yahoo.com/tribute