How to redirect politely
[email protected]
Hello,
I've been reading alot, learning alot, composing wonderous posts in my mind
while I nurse toddler, non you all ever get to read.
We started public school with my oldest, her request, last week. Boy have our
days changed. Up for lunch making, pick up from school right during napping.
Getting to know her teacher. We are adjusting.
My most recent need. To help my little guy, 5.5, to learn to stop flaunting
his penis at me and his sisters. He gets such a laugh at dropping his shorts,
or wiggling around the house. We spend a lot of time in and out of the tub and
pool and I'm not kidding 25-50 times a day he gets laughing with his little
sis, 2.5, about body parts. She starts showing everyone everything and I am
not tolerant anymore. Seems I spend my early part of the day redirecting, then
boy I'm tired of the potty lanquage and the performimg arts, any ideas?
He seems way interested in reproductive organs, all which make him laugh
hysterically. We have one bathroom, are mellow about nakedness, and he is
making such a fuss these days. Loves to talk about whose he has seen and how
he won't let others see him. Age appropriate, I know, yet like most things
Riley is intense in his passions.
One other thing. I seem controlling lately. Like keep your shorts on. Keep
your feet off the table. Lock the car door. My kids are teasing the heck out
of me. More feet from more people go on the table. More doors start being
unlocked. Shorts come off of more people. My language has gone from mostly
positive to short sharp sentences, yuck. Any good reads to get me back up
liking to play sweetly most of the time.
Mary H.
I've been reading alot, learning alot, composing wonderous posts in my mind
while I nurse toddler, non you all ever get to read.
We started public school with my oldest, her request, last week. Boy have our
days changed. Up for lunch making, pick up from school right during napping.
Getting to know her teacher. We are adjusting.
My most recent need. To help my little guy, 5.5, to learn to stop flaunting
his penis at me and his sisters. He gets such a laugh at dropping his shorts,
or wiggling around the house. We spend a lot of time in and out of the tub and
pool and I'm not kidding 25-50 times a day he gets laughing with his little
sis, 2.5, about body parts. She starts showing everyone everything and I am
not tolerant anymore. Seems I spend my early part of the day redirecting, then
boy I'm tired of the potty lanquage and the performimg arts, any ideas?
He seems way interested in reproductive organs, all which make him laugh
hysterically. We have one bathroom, are mellow about nakedness, and he is
making such a fuss these days. Loves to talk about whose he has seen and how
he won't let others see him. Age appropriate, I know, yet like most things
Riley is intense in his passions.
One other thing. I seem controlling lately. Like keep your shorts on. Keep
your feet off the table. Lock the car door. My kids are teasing the heck out
of me. More feet from more people go on the table. More doors start being
unlocked. Shorts come off of more people. My language has gone from mostly
positive to short sharp sentences, yuck. Any good reads to get me back up
liking to play sweetly most of the time.
Mary H.
Joylyn
The more you try to force them to keep their clothes on the more they
will take them off! I'm looking at two naked butts right now, Lexie has
a big shirt on (one of mom's) but has a naked butt which is of course
sticking out. Janene is completely naked, unless you count the marker
all over her body and face. The only thing I said "please don't draw on
your vulva." She's four and she drew a circle around her belly button
then a square around that. She said "mom, look I drew a square." I
said "how do you know it's a square?" She said "Because it has four
corners and four sides." I have no idea where she got that, but she's
right. It's a very nice square. Remind me to take a picture of her
masterpiece before we wash her tomorrow.
It's horridly hot here, so naked is good. Lexie asked me the other day
why I didn't sleep naked, that it was cooler. I had no idea how to
answer her. How horrible that I am no longer comfortable enough with my
body to sleep naked. How sad. As for my kids--Lexie in that last year
has started wearing clothing around her daddy. Except the other day,
when it was 107. I asked her "did the modesty go away or is it just too
hot to care" She giggled and said "it's way too hot to care!" How
wonderful that is. She's asked to go to a nudest beach. I may see if I
can find one for her. Of course, I absolutely hate the beach and the
sand, but if Lexie wants the experience, and asks again, I may find her
a nudest beach.
Personally, I would quite worrying about your child and his facination
with his penis. The more you give him attention for it the more he will
wiggle it at you. I'd ignore it, completely, have it become a nonissue.
because really it is. Same with your daughter. The only thing I have
ever done with my girls is gently suggest if they are masterbating that
they need to go someplace more private. But personally I think wiggling
and comparing, etc. are all normal.
In some cultures children are naked until they are older. Do you think
they wiggle it at people. No probably they put clothes on to make their
moms crazy.
Joylyn
maryfhickman@... wrote:
will take them off! I'm looking at two naked butts right now, Lexie has
a big shirt on (one of mom's) but has a naked butt which is of course
sticking out. Janene is completely naked, unless you count the marker
all over her body and face. The only thing I said "please don't draw on
your vulva." She's four and she drew a circle around her belly button
then a square around that. She said "mom, look I drew a square." I
said "how do you know it's a square?" She said "Because it has four
corners and four sides." I have no idea where she got that, but she's
right. It's a very nice square. Remind me to take a picture of her
masterpiece before we wash her tomorrow.
It's horridly hot here, so naked is good. Lexie asked me the other day
why I didn't sleep naked, that it was cooler. I had no idea how to
answer her. How horrible that I am no longer comfortable enough with my
body to sleep naked. How sad. As for my kids--Lexie in that last year
has started wearing clothing around her daddy. Except the other day,
when it was 107. I asked her "did the modesty go away or is it just too
hot to care" She giggled and said "it's way too hot to care!" How
wonderful that is. She's asked to go to a nudest beach. I may see if I
can find one for her. Of course, I absolutely hate the beach and the
sand, but if Lexie wants the experience, and asks again, I may find her
a nudest beach.
Personally, I would quite worrying about your child and his facination
with his penis. The more you give him attention for it the more he will
wiggle it at you. I'd ignore it, completely, have it become a nonissue.
because really it is. Same with your daughter. The only thing I have
ever done with my girls is gently suggest if they are masterbating that
they need to go someplace more private. But personally I think wiggling
and comparing, etc. are all normal.
In some cultures children are naked until they are older. Do you think
they wiggle it at people. No probably they put clothes on to make their
moms crazy.
Joylyn
maryfhickman@... wrote:
> Hello,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> I've been reading alot, learning alot, composing wonderous posts in my
> mind
> while I nurse toddler, non you all ever get to read.
>
> We started public school with my oldest, her request, last week. Boy
> have our
> days changed. Up for lunch making, pick up from school right during
> napping.
> Getting to know her teacher. We are adjusting.
>
> My most recent need. To help my little guy, 5.5, to learn to stop
> flaunting
> his penis at me and his sisters. He gets such a laugh at dropping his
> shorts,
> or wiggling around the house. We spend a lot of time in and out of the
> tub and
> pool and I'm not kidding 25-50 times a day he gets laughing with his
> little
> sis, 2.5, about body parts. She starts showing everyone everything and
> I am
> not tolerant anymore. Seems I spend my early part of the day
> redirecting, then
> boy I'm tired of the potty lanquage and the performimg arts, any ideas?
>
> He seems way interested in reproductive organs, all which make him laugh
> hysterically. We have one bathroom, are mellow about nakedness, and he is
> making such a fuss these days. Loves to talk about whose he has seen
> and how
> he won't let others see him. Age appropriate, I know, yet like most things
> Riley is intense in his passions.
>
> One other thing. I seem controlling lately. Like keep your shorts on. Keep
> your feet off the table. Lock the car door. My kids are teasing the
> heck out
> of me. More feet from more people go on the table. More doors start being
> unlocked. Shorts come off of more people. My language has gone from mostly
> positive to short sharp sentences, yuck. Any good reads to get me back up
> liking to play sweetly most of the time.
>
> Mary H.
>
>
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[email protected]
Mary,
LOL. I remember eyebrows raised in the Wal-mart when Dylan was showing
off and announcing to everyone, "It's a big one".
In my defense, so no one thinks I gave him that idea, everything was big
in those days, - it's a car, it's a big one - etc. I would just smile at
the strangers and blush a little maybe, but maybe not, because I had
three brothers.
He was younger than five though.
He used to sing the poopy song in stores too and in the post office where
it would really echo. It went "Poopy, poopy, poopy..".etc. You'll be
happy to know at ten he isn't doing either any more.
It's fun because it bothers you. If you relax and act like you're not
even seeing it, it will eventually fade away. (the behavior, not the
penis)
Waggling body parts and feet on the table and naked bottoms won't really
harm anything. As long as no one is in danger of getting frost bite. If
you make it a big deal it will be a big deal and all the more fun to do.
Deb L
LOL. I remember eyebrows raised in the Wal-mart when Dylan was showing
off and announcing to everyone, "It's a big one".
In my defense, so no one thinks I gave him that idea, everything was big
in those days, - it's a car, it's a big one - etc. I would just smile at
the strangers and blush a little maybe, but maybe not, because I had
three brothers.
He was younger than five though.
He used to sing the poopy song in stores too and in the post office where
it would really echo. It went "Poopy, poopy, poopy..".etc. You'll be
happy to know at ten he isn't doing either any more.
It's fun because it bothers you. If you relax and act like you're not
even seeing it, it will eventually fade away. (the behavior, not the
penis)
Waggling body parts and feet on the table and naked bottoms won't really
harm anything. As long as no one is in danger of getting frost bite. If
you make it a big deal it will be a big deal and all the more fun to do.
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/02 1:22:30 AM Central Daylight Time,
maryfhickman@... writes:
when Jack went through the lets show everyone what I've got stage. First we
talked about how his penis is his, and he should be comfortable with it, and
how glad I was that he was, and we talked about good touching and bad
touching. Then I gently suggested that if he was masturbating, that that is a
private thing, and he should do it in his bedroom or the bathroom. The other
thing I suggested was that if he was going to run around naked that he should
remember other peoples feelings. That his friend Alex has said she doesn't
want to see his penis, so he probably shouldn't wave it around in front of
her or anyone else who he thought might not want to see it. He asked if he
could still be naked and I stated emphatically yes! Then he asked about Mrs.
Boos and I said no, probably she wouldn't want to see his penis either. Mrs.
Boos is our 93 yo next door neighbor who attends Mass twice daily. <g> Little
kids are curious about their bodies. And I want mine to be comfortable with
theirs. And I definitely want mine to be able to come to me about things too.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
maryfhickman@... writes:
> My most recent need. To help my little guy, 5.5, to learn to stop flauntingThe only thing I would redirect would be two small things. And I did both
> his penis at me and his sisters. He gets such a laugh at dropping his
> shorts,
> or wiggling around the house. We spend a lot of time in and out of the tub
> and
> pool and I'm not kidding 25-50 times a day he gets laughing with his little
> sis, 2.5, about body parts. She starts showing everyone everything and I am
> not tolerant anymore. Seems I spend my early part of the day redirecting,
> then
> boy I'm tired of the potty lanquage and the performimg arts, any ideas?
>
when Jack went through the lets show everyone what I've got stage. First we
talked about how his penis is his, and he should be comfortable with it, and
how glad I was that he was, and we talked about good touching and bad
touching. Then I gently suggested that if he was masturbating, that that is a
private thing, and he should do it in his bedroom or the bathroom. The other
thing I suggested was that if he was going to run around naked that he should
remember other peoples feelings. That his friend Alex has said she doesn't
want to see his penis, so he probably shouldn't wave it around in front of
her or anyone else who he thought might not want to see it. He asked if he
could still be naked and I stated emphatically yes! Then he asked about Mrs.
Boos and I said no, probably she wouldn't want to see his penis either. Mrs.
Boos is our 93 yo next door neighbor who attends Mass twice daily. <g> Little
kids are curious about their bodies. And I want mine to be comfortable with
theirs. And I definitely want mine to be able to come to me about things too.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/02 11:18:42 AM, Dnowens@... writes:
<< Then he asked about Mrs.
Boos and I said no, probably she wouldn't want to see his penis either. Mrs.
Boos is our 93 yo next door neighbor who attends Mass twice daily. <g> >>
You're probably right. <g>
I told my kids without alarming them, just matter-of-factly, that public
nudity is illegal, but people make exceptions for really little kids. And
because most people WOULD be nice about them while they were little, they
needed to get with the program and cover up as they got older. I told them I
didn't want trouble with social services, and some people might say I was a
bad mom if they were running around naked. They understood that fine.
Sandra
<< Then he asked about Mrs.
Boos and I said no, probably she wouldn't want to see his penis either. Mrs.
Boos is our 93 yo next door neighbor who attends Mass twice daily. <g> >>
You're probably right. <g>
I told my kids without alarming them, just matter-of-factly, that public
nudity is illegal, but people make exceptions for really little kids. And
because most people WOULD be nice about them while they were little, they
needed to get with the program and cover up as they got older. I told them I
didn't want trouble with social services, and some people might say I was a
bad mom if they were running around naked. They understood that fine.
Sandra
Sharon Rudd
When DS2, Huckleberry, (now Huck, then Hucky) was 5,
about 20 years ago, he and my Godson chased the
chickens all around peeing on them....they also had a
pee contest on the side of a busy main street....who
could pee the farthest into the street. Of course this
activity was not sustained for too long. They
couldn't drink enough. Boys. They do that sort of
thing. Even (apparently) grown-up boys. Ever seen
any of that variety try to refill beer bottles?
Hmmmm, I guess none of that is polite, and therefore
not too usefull.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
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about 20 years ago, he and my Godson chased the
chickens all around peeing on them....they also had a
pee contest on the side of a busy main street....who
could pee the farthest into the street. Of course this
activity was not sustained for too long. They
couldn't drink enough. Boys. They do that sort of
thing. Even (apparently) grown-up boys. Ever seen
any of that variety try to refill beer bottles?
Hmmmm, I guess none of that is polite, and therefore
not too usefull.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance - Get real-time stock quotes
http://finance.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/02 3:20:46 PM, bearspawprint@... writes:
<< Hmmmm, I guess none of that is polite, and therefore
not too usefull. >>
Let us fight bluntness with bluntness then.
Having sex, childbirth, and taking kids out of school aren't "polite," but
they're what got us all into this!! <bwg>
(Or at least they're no daintier than little boys with fairly new penises
peeing into the roadway.)
Sandra
<< Hmmmm, I guess none of that is polite, and therefore
not too usefull. >>
Let us fight bluntness with bluntness then.
Having sex, childbirth, and taking kids out of school aren't "polite," but
they're what got us all into this!! <bwg>
(Or at least they're no daintier than little boys with fairly new penises
peeing into the roadway.)
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/02 6:27:10 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< I just cracked up on this one. I think "Please don't draw on your vulva,"
falls in there with "No, you CAN'T get the broccoli, you already chose the
Cap'n Crunch for your treat" in the Things We Never Dreamed We'd Be Saying
to
Our Kids Department. >>
If I'd had Nancy's Ice tea it would definitely gone out the nose...thanks for
the laugh!! Too funny.
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< I just cracked up on this one. I think "Please don't draw on your vulva,"
falls in there with "No, you CAN'T get the broccoli, you already chose the
Cap'n Crunch for your treat" in the Things We Never Dreamed We'd Be Saying
to
Our Kids Department. >>
If I'd had Nancy's Ice tea it would definitely gone out the nose...thanks for
the laugh!! Too funny.
Ren
Nanci Kuykendall
>Boys. They do that sort of thing. Even (apparently)Oh, it's so true Sharon. LOL...I live in a
>grown-up boys.
>Sharon of the Swamp
testosterone testing ground.
Nanci K.
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/5/02 6:27:10 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< When DS2, Huckleberry, (now Huck, then Hucky) was 5,
about 20 years ago, he and my Godson chased the
chickens all around peeing on them... >>
Wow, that is hilarious! I bet the chickens weren't impressed with their
abilities.
Trevor and his bestest (very hyper) buddy saw some geese my sil had brought
over to show me....they had been rescued from an auction and were on their
way to being released in the wild, waiting patiently in their very tight
quarters (which was a box).
The boys thought geese MUST need water, I mean they live in ponds and lakes
right?
So they started pouring water on the poor birds, who became quite hysterical
at the cold dousing and staring trying to get out of the boxes.
My sil has never forgiven them I don't think. It took 1/2 hour to disentangle
and repackage the poor dears so they could be on their way to Battleground
lake.
Boys will be boys........
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< When DS2, Huckleberry, (now Huck, then Hucky) was 5,
about 20 years ago, he and my Godson chased the
chickens all around peeing on them... >>
Wow, that is hilarious! I bet the chickens weren't impressed with their
abilities.
Trevor and his bestest (very hyper) buddy saw some geese my sil had brought
over to show me....they had been rescued from an auction and were on their
way to being released in the wild, waiting patiently in their very tight
quarters (which was a box).
The boys thought geese MUST need water, I mean they live in ponds and lakes
right?
So they started pouring water on the poor birds, who became quite hysterical
at the cold dousing and staring trying to get out of the boxes.
My sil has never forgiven them I don't think. It took 1/2 hour to disentangle
and repackage the poor dears so they could be on their way to Battleground
lake.
Boys will be boys........
Ren
meghanfire
--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., <maryfhickman@j...> wrote:
I seem controlling lately. Like keep your shorts on. Keep
> your feet off the table. Lock the car door. My kids are teasing the
heck out
> of me. More feet from more people go on the table. More doors
start being
> unlocked. Shorts come off of more people. My language has
gone from mostly
> positive to short sharp sentences, yuck. Any good reads to get
me back up
> liking to play sweetly most of the time.
>
> Mary H.
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish has some good tips on positive
parenting. Also you could try some meditation and affirmations
to help you deal with any stresses that you are under that could
be causing you be more controlling and less patient than usual.
Meghan
Sharon Rudd
Mary
Maybe you are just plain ol' tired. Anybody would be.
Do you have a wading pool for the kiddos to jump in
and out of with their little naked selves? When they
are all cooled off a nice towel and soft sweats
(pants)feel good and are acceptable in public. A
little "muscle" shirt isn't too bad, either. Do you
have any dress-up clothes and costumes to play with?
Maybe a cape or cowboy boots....some hats...paint?
My DH used to put his (long, long) legs across the
table.....until DS4 started doing it too. Too late. Oh
well. Now DS4 (Roy, 8) puts his whole self on the
table. Drives DH batty. they both tip chairs back,
too, until the joints come apart....then blame each
other. Sigh.
When DS1 was 3 he would take everything out of the
drawers and shelves and fling it on the floor. I'de
carefully put it all back when he was through. I put
the laundry away in the drawer and on the shelves.
Finally I said "Why do you keep doing this? Is it fun
or do you just not like things to be on shelves and in
drawers?" The sweet little guy answered "You are
always putting things away, I thought that was what
YOU liked to do.....so I was giving you something to
do after everything was all put away. I'm helping
you." And his lovely little grin. Moral of the
story.....check out the motives of the kids
.....your exasperation may actually be quite comical
to the kids. DS4 thinks I look really really funny
when I roll my eyes or make mad faces or look
exasperated (expecially). He repeats actions that
evoke those faces....and I can't seem to help myself,
sometimes. Sigh.
A good read is Always_Learning list and the
Unschooling.com message boards. :-) also Sandra's
web-sites. Really.
Good Luck....and YOU still like to play sweetly....the
kiddos just like excitement too.
Sharon of the Swamp
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance - Get real-time stock quotes
http://finance.yahoo.com
Maybe you are just plain ol' tired. Anybody would be.
Do you have a wading pool for the kiddos to jump in
and out of with their little naked selves? When they
are all cooled off a nice towel and soft sweats
(pants)feel good and are acceptable in public. A
little "muscle" shirt isn't too bad, either. Do you
have any dress-up clothes and costumes to play with?
Maybe a cape or cowboy boots....some hats...paint?
My DH used to put his (long, long) legs across the
table.....until DS4 started doing it too. Too late. Oh
well. Now DS4 (Roy, 8) puts his whole self on the
table. Drives DH batty. they both tip chairs back,
too, until the joints come apart....then blame each
other. Sigh.
When DS1 was 3 he would take everything out of the
drawers and shelves and fling it on the floor. I'de
carefully put it all back when he was through. I put
the laundry away in the drawer and on the shelves.
Finally I said "Why do you keep doing this? Is it fun
or do you just not like things to be on shelves and in
drawers?" The sweet little guy answered "You are
always putting things away, I thought that was what
YOU liked to do.....so I was giving you something to
do after everything was all put away. I'm helping
you." And his lovely little grin. Moral of the
story.....check out the motives of the kids
.....your exasperation may actually be quite comical
to the kids. DS4 thinks I look really really funny
when I roll my eyes or make mad faces or look
exasperated (expecially). He repeats actions that
evoke those faces....and I can't seem to help myself,
sometimes. Sigh.
A good read is Always_Learning list and the
Unschooling.com message boards. :-) also Sandra's
web-sites. Really.
Good Luck....and YOU still like to play sweetly....the
kiddos just like excitement too.
Sharon of the Swamp
> I seem controlling lately. Like keep your shorts on.__________________________________________________
> Keep
> > your feet off the table. Lock the car door. My
> kids are teasing the
> heck out
> > of me. More feet from more people go on the table.
> More doors
> start being
> > unlocked. Shorts come off of more people. My
> language has
> gone from mostly
> > positive to short sharp sentences, yuck. Any good
> reads to get
> me back up
> > liking to play sweetly most of the time.
> >
> > Mary H.
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance - Get real-time stock quotes
http://finance.yahoo.com