Re: Goals, etc.
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/24/2002 7:45:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
to do had nothing to do with any of his myriad of parents or other relatives.
He found it was easier sitting and playing the computer games, and he
wouldn't get around to other stuff he really wanted to do. So, at HIS
request, I occasionally ask him what he wants to do today, and if he doesn't
seem to be getting around to them, I ask if he wants to. He almost always
shifts gears and starts doing the thing he'd planned.
I can realte because I am EXACTLY the same way. I want to finish the (insert
appropriate swear words here) book I am writing. I REALLY do. But it's easier
to play on the web, or, well, most anything. So I'm trying to set things up
so I HAVE to do it. I have friends nudge me. I gave church people permission
to ask how it's coming.
I would love to be the kind of person who just did stuff they wanted to do
without that outside push. But I'm not, so I try to set things up to fight my
natural urges. Julian is doing the same thing. I don't make him do stuff....I
just remind him he wants to (or said he did). Whether he does or not is up to
him.
The cool thing is that he's older, and now he'll say to me...."Hey,
mama...didn't you want to work on your book today?" Nudging can be an act of
love....if the person KNOWS you want to be nudged.
Kathryn (and you all have permission to ask me how the (insert vile words
here) book is coming)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> *** An example I recently heard was a parent whose child practicallySame thing happened with us, and I can testify that the things Julian wanted
> implored
> them to "make her" follow through with some goal or other, because the
> child
> knew she was likely to back down from the work when the time came, but
> truly
> wanted to achieve the overall goal.***
>
> I would wonder if the child wanted to achieve the goal for her own
> reasons or because she knew it would be pleasing to her mom. That would
> be my first question, because I've never known anyone who needed to be
> "made" to do something they really wanted to do.
>
to do had nothing to do with any of his myriad of parents or other relatives.
He found it was easier sitting and playing the computer games, and he
wouldn't get around to other stuff he really wanted to do. So, at HIS
request, I occasionally ask him what he wants to do today, and if he doesn't
seem to be getting around to them, I ask if he wants to. He almost always
shifts gears and starts doing the thing he'd planned.
I can realte because I am EXACTLY the same way. I want to finish the (insert
appropriate swear words here) book I am writing. I REALLY do. But it's easier
to play on the web, or, well, most anything. So I'm trying to set things up
so I HAVE to do it. I have friends nudge me. I gave church people permission
to ask how it's coming.
I would love to be the kind of person who just did stuff they wanted to do
without that outside push. But I'm not, so I try to set things up to fight my
natural urges. Julian is doing the same thing. I don't make him do stuff....I
just remind him he wants to (or said he did). Whether he does or not is up to
him.
The cool thing is that he's older, and now he'll say to me...."Hey,
mama...didn't you want to work on your book today?" Nudging can be an act of
love....if the person KNOWS you want to be nudged.
Kathryn (and you all have permission to ask me how the (insert vile words
here) book is coming)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> He found it was easier sitting and playing the computer games, andOh, sure, Ruin my theory!<g>
> he
> wouldn't get around to other stuff he really wanted to do. So, at
> HIS
> request, I occasionally ask him what he wants to do today, and if he
> doesn't
> seem to be getting around to them, I ask if he wants to. He almost
> always
> shifts gears and starts doing the thing he'd planned.
I had it all worked out how "someone needs to *make* me" was a condition
of only people who had been herded through the public school system, and
not at all of free and inspired young unschoolers. Dang.
But your "I occasionally ask him" sounds much nicer than "make her"
and I guess a big difference would be in whether, if the kid had changed
his or her mind and didn't want to do the thing after all, that would be
ok too.
I had my doubts because I have been know to say I want to mow the lawn
tomorrow, when what I really mean is I want the lawn to be mown and
looking nice. I don't really have a desire to be out there cutting it,
only the desire for it to not look like Ma and Pa Kettle live here and
all the goats have wandered off.
Deb L ( watching The Egg and I )
Tia Leschke
>I'd be more interested in what it's about. <g>
>Kathryn (and you all have permission to ask me how the (insert vile words
>here) book is coming)
Tia - another procrastinator
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/25/2002 12:31:39 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
As do I. And if he decides he really just wants to play the game, or
whatever (it could be reading a book, for that matter), it's fine.
As far as the lawn is concerned, Julian mows and we pay him to do it. It's a
bigger, pain in the neck job that we'd happily pay a neighbor kid for, so we
offer money to Julian for it instead. He's happy, we're happy.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> But your "I occasionally ask him" sounds much nicer than "make her"Oh, absolutely, he often changes his mind about doing something he planned.
> and I guess a big difference would be in whether, if the kid had changed
> his or her mind and didn't want to do the thing after all, that would be
> ok too.
>
> I had my doubts because I have been know to say I want to mow the lawn
> tomorrow, when what I really mean is I want the lawn to be mown and
> looking nice. I don't really have a desire to be out there cutting it,
> only the desire for it to not look like Ma and Pa Kettle live here and
> all the goats have wandered off.
>
As do I. And if he decides he really just wants to play the game, or
whatever (it could be reading a book, for that matter), it's fine.
As far as the lawn is concerned, Julian mows and we pay him to do it. It's a
bigger, pain in the neck job that we'd happily pay a neighbor kid for, so we
offer money to Julian for it instead. He's happy, we're happy.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/25/2002 12:31:39 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
with the church/faith they grew up with, but still want some kind of
spiritual "education" for their families. So part of it is doing that at home
(not in a schooly sort of way, but more a strewing sort of way, including
ideas about what to strew or do), and part is finding a church or other
spiritual community that fits your family as it is now.
I have a first draft done, and am working on a book proposal and query in
hopes someone will pay me to finish it. Anyone here ever written a nonfiction
book proposal or query, or have an agent they'd like to connect me with?
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> >Kathryn (and you all have permission to ask me how the (insert vile wordsIt's a book for families who, for whatever reason are no longer connected
> >here) book is coming)
>
> I'd be more interested in what it's about. <g>
> Tia - another procrastinator
>
with the church/faith they grew up with, but still want some kind of
spiritual "education" for their families. So part of it is doing that at home
(not in a schooly sort of way, but more a strewing sort of way, including
ideas about what to strew or do), and part is finding a church or other
spiritual community that fits your family as it is now.
I have a first draft done, and am working on a book proposal and query in
hopes someone will pay me to finish it. Anyone here ever written a nonfiction
book proposal or query, or have an agent they'd like to connect me with?
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>Sounds like a good one, and needed.
>It's a book for families who, for whatever reason are no longer connected
>with the church/faith they grew up with, but still want some kind of
>spiritual "education" for their families. So part of it is doing that at home
>(not in a schooly sort of way, but more a strewing sort of way, including
>ideas about what to strew or do), and part is finding a church or other
>spiritual community that fits your family as it is now.
>I have a first draft done, and am working on a book proposal and query inI wish I could help, but what you're doing sounds like the right way to
>hopes someone will pay me to finish it. Anyone here ever written a nonfiction
>book proposal or query, or have an agent they'd like to connect me with?
go. At least that's how they tell us to do it on the children's
non-fiction list I'm on.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island