unbed-timing and cosleeping
kayb85
Ok, I have another question. Now that the food thing is going along
ok, I've been letting the kids stay up until they want to go to bed.
At what age do you start this? My three year old is ALWAYS telling
me, "Me no wanna go bed". I have been letting them stay up until I'm
ready to go to bed because I feel that the 5 and 3 year olds are too
young to be up by themselves downstairs with everyone else asleep in
bed. (And I often stay up very late) I would allow my 9 year old to
stay up by herself but she doesn't want to go to sleep without me
singing to her first, and if she wants me to sing to her it has to be
before I go to bed.
But what do you do when they are real miserable and it's obvious it's
because they didn't get enough sleep? Do you just put up with their
miserableness? This is something I'm seeing in the 3 year old
especially. I will pick him up and tickle him when he's getting
miserable and say something like, "Oh, you're miserable because you
didn't get enough sleep last night" but he still stays miserable.
And what do you do when they fall asleep downstairs on the floor?
Wake them up and coax them upstairs? And when they stay up until
they fall asleep on the floor, they never feel like brushing their
teeth...
And finally, my three year old has been asking to sleep with me. We
never did the co-sleeping thing before. I hate to deny him that
since he's directly asking to do it, but when he sleeps with us my dh
and I don't get enough sleep and then we're miserable the next day!
Especially dh, who said he's always forced to the side of the bed and
he's clinging to the side afraid that if he goes to sleep he'll fall
off. And I don't sleep as well because I sometimes can't get in my
most comfy position or because I'm afraid ds is going to fall out of
bed or get his head stuck under the covers or between the pillows or
something.
You ladies always give great advice. I'd appreciate whatever you can
give me!
ok, I've been letting the kids stay up until they want to go to bed.
At what age do you start this? My three year old is ALWAYS telling
me, "Me no wanna go bed". I have been letting them stay up until I'm
ready to go to bed because I feel that the 5 and 3 year olds are too
young to be up by themselves downstairs with everyone else asleep in
bed. (And I often stay up very late) I would allow my 9 year old to
stay up by herself but she doesn't want to go to sleep without me
singing to her first, and if she wants me to sing to her it has to be
before I go to bed.
But what do you do when they are real miserable and it's obvious it's
because they didn't get enough sleep? Do you just put up with their
miserableness? This is something I'm seeing in the 3 year old
especially. I will pick him up and tickle him when he's getting
miserable and say something like, "Oh, you're miserable because you
didn't get enough sleep last night" but he still stays miserable.
And what do you do when they fall asleep downstairs on the floor?
Wake them up and coax them upstairs? And when they stay up until
they fall asleep on the floor, they never feel like brushing their
teeth...
And finally, my three year old has been asking to sleep with me. We
never did the co-sleeping thing before. I hate to deny him that
since he's directly asking to do it, but when he sleeps with us my dh
and I don't get enough sleep and then we're miserable the next day!
Especially dh, who said he's always forced to the side of the bed and
he's clinging to the side afraid that if he goes to sleep he'll fall
off. And I don't sleep as well because I sometimes can't get in my
most comfy position or because I'm afraid ds is going to fall out of
bed or get his head stuck under the covers or between the pillows or
something.
You ladies always give great advice. I'd appreciate whatever you can
give me!
Joylyn
What I do is this.
Janene is tired between 8 and 9. So at that time I encourage her to get
a bedtime snack, brush her teeth etc. She knows she is tired and does
so. Then we read a few books and I either lie down with her or work on
the computer which is next to the bed. She sometimes plays for a few
minutes and sometimes not, but if there is no other light except the
computer, she goes to sleep. I don't say it's bedtime exactly, i just
make sleep happen for her in a way I know works.
With Lexie, I don't do a thing. I occassionally fail because I will say
"JUST GO TO SLEEP!" because it's 1am and I'm tired and trying to get
some work done. But mostly I just let her stay up. Usually between 11
and 1, we read whatever book I'm reading aloud to her and then I turn
off my light and go to sleep. She sometiems follows suit but sometimes
goes into the other room to read. I dont' worry about her, she's 7.
Joylyn
kayb85 wrote:
Janene is tired between 8 and 9. So at that time I encourage her to get
a bedtime snack, brush her teeth etc. She knows she is tired and does
so. Then we read a few books and I either lie down with her or work on
the computer which is next to the bed. She sometimes plays for a few
minutes and sometimes not, but if there is no other light except the
computer, she goes to sleep. I don't say it's bedtime exactly, i just
make sleep happen for her in a way I know works.
With Lexie, I don't do a thing. I occassionally fail because I will say
"JUST GO TO SLEEP!" because it's 1am and I'm tired and trying to get
some work done. But mostly I just let her stay up. Usually between 11
and 1, we read whatever book I'm reading aloud to her and then I turn
off my light and go to sleep. She sometiems follows suit but sometimes
goes into the other room to read. I dont' worry about her, she's 7.
Joylyn
kayb85 wrote:
> Ok, I have another question. Now that the food thing is going along[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> ok, I've been letting the kids stay up until they want to go to bed.
>
> At what age do you start this? My three year old is ALWAYS telling
> me, "Me no wanna go bed". I have been letting them stay up until I'm
> ready to go to bed because I feel that the 5 and 3 year olds are too
> young to be up by themselves downstairs with everyone else asleep in
> bed. (And I often stay up very late) I would allow my 9 year old to
> stay up by herself but she doesn't want to go to sleep without me
> singing to her first, and if she wants me to sing to her it has to be
> before I go to bed.
>
> But what do you do when they are real miserable and it's obvious it's
> because they didn't get enough sleep? Do you just put up with their
> miserableness? This is something I'm seeing in the 3 year old
> especially. I will pick him up and tickle him when he's getting
> miserable and say something like, "Oh, you're miserable because you
> didn't get enough sleep last night" but he still stays miserable.
>
> And what do you do when they fall asleep downstairs on the floor?
> Wake them up and coax them upstairs? And when they stay up until
> they fall asleep on the floor, they never feel like brushing their
> teeth...
>
> And finally, my three year old has been asking to sleep with me. We
> never did the co-sleeping thing before. I hate to deny him that
> since he's directly asking to do it, but when he sleeps with us my dh
> and I don't get enough sleep and then we're miserable the next day!
> Especially dh, who said he's always forced to the side of the bed and
> he's clinging to the side afraid that if he goes to sleep he'll fall
> off. And I don't sleep as well because I sometimes can't get in my
> most comfy position or because I'm afraid ds is going to fall out of
> bed or get his head stuck under the covers or between the pillows or
> something.
>
> You ladies always give great advice. I'd appreciate whatever you can
> give me!
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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Cristina Kenski
I think we have always let our freshly turned 8 year old go to sleep when he
was ready, & with that, wake when he was ready. That way he isn't miserable
because he didn't get enough sleep.
We are doing his favorite experiment (for the third time this year) of "
lets-see-how-long-we-can-stay-up " We made it to 8:30am yesterday & woke up
at 5pm. I know not everyone can do this, but right now this is what he is
having a blast with.
Cris
was ready, & with that, wake when he was ready. That way he isn't miserable
because he didn't get enough sleep.
We are doing his favorite experiment (for the third time this year) of "
lets-see-how-long-we-can-stay-up " We made it to 8:30am yesterday & woke up
at 5pm. I know not everyone can do this, but right now this is what he is
having a blast with.
Cris
Joylyn
This is one of Lexie's goals for the year (on some stupid list they were
listing their goals, and the goals were really funny.. have a better
attitude about our daily 3 hour school schedule, write down what we do,
do a better job of planning, etc. so I asked Lexie what her goals
were..) anyway, Lexie's goal was to memorize all four HP books, so she
can beat Rain (Daron's child) at HP Trivia (Rain beat Lexie, the very
first time she's ever been beaten), stay up 24 hours,
oh wait, I just found my email...
1. stay up all night and all day once.
2. to learn to do more algebra
3. to get all four Harry Potter books memorized
4. To beat Rain at Harry Potter Trivia
5. To play soccer better
I thought they were interesting, especially that stay up all night
thing. I think we need to find a friend to try it with her, cause her
mom can't stay awake past 2am!
Joylyn
Cristina Kenski wrote:
listing their goals, and the goals were really funny.. have a better
attitude about our daily 3 hour school schedule, write down what we do,
do a better job of planning, etc. so I asked Lexie what her goals
were..) anyway, Lexie's goal was to memorize all four HP books, so she
can beat Rain (Daron's child) at HP Trivia (Rain beat Lexie, the very
first time she's ever been beaten), stay up 24 hours,
oh wait, I just found my email...
1. stay up all night and all day once.
2. to learn to do more algebra
3. to get all four Harry Potter books memorized
4. To beat Rain at Harry Potter Trivia
5. To play soccer better
I thought they were interesting, especially that stay up all night
thing. I think we need to find a friend to try it with her, cause her
mom can't stay awake past 2am!
Joylyn
Cristina Kenski wrote:
>
> I think we have always let our freshly turned 8 year old go to sleep
> when he
> was ready, & with that, wake when he was ready. That way he isn't
> miserable
> because he didn't get enough sleep.
> We are doing his favorite experiment (for the third time this year) of "
> lets-see-how-long-we-can-stay-up " We made it to 8:30am yesterday &
> woke up
> at 5pm. I know not everyone can do this, but right now this is what he is
> having a blast with.
>
> Cris
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
Cristina Kenski
Joylyn,
I think you're fibbin' about staying up past 2am ; ) you sent the last
post after 4am.
Now what are you doing up?
Cris
I think you're fibbin' about staying up past 2am ; ) you sent the last
post after 4am.
Now what are you doing up?
Cris
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/02 12:47:17 AM, sheran@... writes:
<< But what do you do when they are real miserable and it's obvious it's
because they didn't get enough sleep? Do you just put up with their
miserableness? >>
I used to rock mine in the rocking chair, or let them fall asleep on the
couch where other people were (reading to them, or letting them fall asleep
to a video).
<<I will pick him up and tickle him when he's getting
miserable and say something like, "Oh, you're miserable because you
didn't get enough sleep last night" but he still stays miserable. >>
Tickling and teasing probably have never helped a miserable person ever. I'd
drop those two parts. Can't you say with some sympathy and compassion
"You're probably just tired" without adding the shaming bit like it's his own
fault?
Kids learn to regulate themselves from failures to do so, not from the words
of other people.
<<And what do you do when they fall asleep downstairs on the floor?
Wake them up and coax them upstairs? And when they stay up until
they fall asleep on the floor, they never feel like brushing their
teeth...>>
Have tooth brushing at a certain time without regard to sleep-time so they're
all done, or let them wait until they wake up. I'd carry them to bed or to
a couch when they fell asleep on the floor. The sleeping is more important
than the being in a bed.
If your kids are too sleepy, it's better if it's not because you woke them up
from a sound sleep to brush their teeth and change rooms.
<<And finally, my three year old has been asking to sleep with me. We
never did the co-sleeping thing before. I hate to deny him that
since he's directly asking to do it, but when he sleeps with us my dh
and I don't get enough sleep and then we're miserable the next day! >>
Sleep with the child in HIS bed, or in a floor bed made for the occasion.
Fold out a couch.
Sandra
<< But what do you do when they are real miserable and it's obvious it's
because they didn't get enough sleep? Do you just put up with their
miserableness? >>
I used to rock mine in the rocking chair, or let them fall asleep on the
couch where other people were (reading to them, or letting them fall asleep
to a video).
<<I will pick him up and tickle him when he's getting
miserable and say something like, "Oh, you're miserable because you
didn't get enough sleep last night" but he still stays miserable. >>
Tickling and teasing probably have never helped a miserable person ever. I'd
drop those two parts. Can't you say with some sympathy and compassion
"You're probably just tired" without adding the shaming bit like it's his own
fault?
Kids learn to regulate themselves from failures to do so, not from the words
of other people.
<<And what do you do when they fall asleep downstairs on the floor?
Wake them up and coax them upstairs? And when they stay up until
they fall asleep on the floor, they never feel like brushing their
teeth...>>
Have tooth brushing at a certain time without regard to sleep-time so they're
all done, or let them wait until they wake up. I'd carry them to bed or to
a couch when they fell asleep on the floor. The sleeping is more important
than the being in a bed.
If your kids are too sleepy, it's better if it's not because you woke them up
from a sound sleep to brush their teeth and change rooms.
<<And finally, my three year old has been asking to sleep with me. We
never did the co-sleeping thing before. I hate to deny him that
since he's directly asking to do it, but when he sleeps with us my dh
and I don't get enough sleep and then we're miserable the next day! >>
Sleep with the child in HIS bed, or in a floor bed made for the occasion.
Fold out a couch.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/22/02 4:14:22 AM, ckenski@... writes:
<< I think you're fibbin' about staying up past 2am ; ) you sent the last
post after 4am.
Now what are you doing up?
Joylyn's Pacific.
Sandra
<< I think you're fibbin' about staying up past 2am ; ) you sent the last
post after 4am.
Now what are you doing up?
>>My mail always shows as eastern time, but I'm mountain time.
Joylyn's Pacific.
Sandra
Cristina Kenski
From: SandraDodd@... [mailto:SandraDodd@...]
<My mail always shows as eastern time, but I'm mountain time.
Joylyn's Pacific.>
OOPS !
Cris
<My mail always shows as eastern time, but I'm mountain time.
Joylyn's Pacific.>
OOPS !
Cris
[email protected]
Since you stay up late, could you make a snuggly bed on the floor where
you're going to be for the three and five year olds to sleep?
You wouldn't have to call it a bed, if they are really opposed to
sleeping, you could call it the cozy or the snuggle or something friendly
sounding, and if they do fall asleep you could just take them ( can you
scoop them up without waking them?) to their own beds when you go, or
stay there with them. <g> Sounds fun!
Maybe they want to stay up because that's where you are.
Maybe they'd feel more like going to bed if they could sleep with each
other when you can't be there? What if you laid down with them for half
an hour after story time or singing time, or when the three year old is
asking to sleep with you.
Where ever they sleep, can you just let them sleep as long as they want
the next day? Is there any reason they have to get up at a certain time?
If the little one is really miserable from lack of sleep a few minutes
rocking and singing might be a comfort or a transport to more sleep.
We had a little tent we set up in the living room of our very tiny house
when Dylan was smaller. It was all made up with a bed, but it zipped
closed to keep the dogs and cats out. During the day sometimes he would
sneak in there and not intending to, would fall asleep just because it
was cozy. (He stored Cheerios in there, too.)
When Dylan was three ( and two and one and brand-new and sometimes now)
he slept with us. He never got squished, or suffocated or lost.<g>
Deb L
you're going to be for the three and five year olds to sleep?
You wouldn't have to call it a bed, if they are really opposed to
sleeping, you could call it the cozy or the snuggle or something friendly
sounding, and if they do fall asleep you could just take them ( can you
scoop them up without waking them?) to their own beds when you go, or
stay there with them. <g> Sounds fun!
Maybe they want to stay up because that's where you are.
Maybe they'd feel more like going to bed if they could sleep with each
other when you can't be there? What if you laid down with them for half
an hour after story time or singing time, or when the three year old is
asking to sleep with you.
Where ever they sleep, can you just let them sleep as long as they want
the next day? Is there any reason they have to get up at a certain time?
If the little one is really miserable from lack of sleep a few minutes
rocking and singing might be a comfort or a transport to more sleep.
We had a little tent we set up in the living room of our very tiny house
when Dylan was smaller. It was all made up with a bed, but it zipped
closed to keep the dogs and cats out. During the day sometimes he would
sneak in there and not intending to, would fall asleep just because it
was cozy. (He stored Cheerios in there, too.)
When Dylan was three ( and two and one and brand-new and sometimes now)
he slept with us. He never got squished, or suffocated or lost.<g>
Deb L
Joylyn
I'm in California, where are you? I turned off the computer at 2am.
;-)
Joylyn
Cristina Kenski wrote:
;-)
Joylyn
Cristina Kenski wrote:
> Joylyn,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> I think you're fibbin' about staying up past 2am ; ) you sent the last
> post after 4am.
> Now what are you doing up?
>
> Cris
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> [{short description of image}]
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Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema
I'm coming out of lurk-dom to say that we actually set a 'noises-off'
bedtime of midnight over here... mostly because our two teenagers were
waking up the husband and he was getting mighty cranky about it So, after
midnight, there's no computering (because the kids get to running and slam
the back door on their way out to the computer room which, you guessed it,
wakes the spouse) and the TV/video/etc (which is 4 rooms away) has to be
vewwy, vewwy quiet if it's going to be on. Otherwise, the kids sleep where
they fall and sometimes wake up in odd places - including the dog bed,
various floors and underneath tables. I couldn't do it, but their muscles
don't seem to care much. If they fall asleep in a public place, they take
the consequences of folks needing to be moving around and working in those
spaces come morning. We don't show a lot of mercy that way.
When the kids were younger, they had 'in their room' time at night. After
9pm or so, they had to be teeth brushed, in jammies and in a bedroom, but
could be playing quietly for as long as they wanted to be. It was
defensive mommy-ing because I wanted some time alone to stare at the
ceiling undisturbed...or even sleep myself without having to wonder if that
sound downstairs was the children dis-assembling the VCR again.
and now back to my regularly scheduled lurk...
Heidi
bedtime of midnight over here... mostly because our two teenagers were
waking up the husband and he was getting mighty cranky about it So, after
midnight, there's no computering (because the kids get to running and slam
the back door on their way out to the computer room which, you guessed it,
wakes the spouse) and the TV/video/etc (which is 4 rooms away) has to be
vewwy, vewwy quiet if it's going to be on. Otherwise, the kids sleep where
they fall and sometimes wake up in odd places - including the dog bed,
various floors and underneath tables. I couldn't do it, but their muscles
don't seem to care much. If they fall asleep in a public place, they take
the consequences of folks needing to be moving around and working in those
spaces come morning. We don't show a lot of mercy that way.
When the kids were younger, they had 'in their room' time at night. After
9pm or so, they had to be teeth brushed, in jammies and in a bedroom, but
could be playing quietly for as long as they wanted to be. It was
defensive mommy-ing because I wanted some time alone to stare at the
ceiling undisturbed...or even sleep myself without having to wonder if that
sound downstairs was the children dis-assembling the VCR again.
and now back to my regularly scheduled lurk...
Heidi
Leslie Avery
I was concerned about our sleeping habits, my 9 year
old and 13 year old have some issues with sleeping
without me, probably because I didn't have them in bed
with me from the time they came home from the
hospital. I would definitely do things differently
today. So we all sleep on the floor in one of their
rooms, I have tried to get my husband to sleep with
us, but he won't. He tells me I am perpetuating a bad
habit, I don't think so. I like to think I am
fulfilling a need I denied them when they were little.
I guess I forgot an intro, or maybe I already did. I
have been on the unschooling website and heard about
this one.
I also have had the food issue. I use to make an issue
out of it and it was such a fight and than I decided
it wasn't worth it. My husband and family think I
have lost control, guess what I don't want control.
Nice to read other emails with similar situations.
Now I unfood.
Leslie
--- Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema <heidi@...> wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
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old and 13 year old have some issues with sleeping
without me, probably because I didn't have them in bed
with me from the time they came home from the
hospital. I would definitely do things differently
today. So we all sleep on the floor in one of their
rooms, I have tried to get my husband to sleep with
us, but he won't. He tells me I am perpetuating a bad
habit, I don't think so. I like to think I am
fulfilling a need I denied them when they were little.
I guess I forgot an intro, or maybe I already did. I
have been on the unschooling website and heard about
this one.
I also have had the food issue. I use to make an issue
out of it and it was such a fight and than I decided
it wasn't worth it. My husband and family think I
have lost control, guess what I don't want control.
Nice to read other emails with similar situations.
Now I unfood.
Leslie
--- Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema <heidi@...> wrote:
> I'm coming out of lurk-dom to say that we actually__________________________________________________
> set a 'noises-off'
> bedtime of midnight over here... mostly because our
> two teenagers were
> waking up the husband and he was getting mighty
> cranky about it So, after
> midnight, there's no computering (because the kids
> get to running and slam
> the back door on their way out to the computer room
> which, you guessed it,
> wakes the spouse) and the TV/video/etc (which is 4
> rooms away) has to be
> vewwy, vewwy quiet if it's going to be on.
> Otherwise, the kids sleep where
> they fall and sometimes wake up in odd places -
> including the dog bed,
> various floors and underneath tables. I couldn't do
> it, but their muscles
> don't seem to care much. If they fall asleep in a
> public place, they take
> the consequences of folks needing to be moving
> around and working in those
> spaces come morning. We don't show a lot of mercy
> that way.
>
> When the kids were younger, they had 'in their room'
> time at night. After
> 9pm or so, they had to be teeth brushed, in jammies
> and in a bedroom, but
> could be playing quietly for as long as they wanted
> to be. It was
> defensive mommy-ing because I wanted some time alone
> to stare at the
> ceiling undisturbed...or even sleep myself without
> having to wonder if that
> sound downstairs was the children dis-assembling the
> VCR again.
> and now back to my regularly scheduled lurk...
> Heidi
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
HotJobs - Search Thousands of New Jobs
http://www.hotjobs.com
Cristina Kenski
From: Joylyn [mailto:joylyn@...]
<I'm in California, where are you? I turned off the computer at 2am.>
We are in Ohio
the "stay up until whenever" experiment - day 13:
woke up @ 5pm
read more on EverQuest with dad
few hours of Morrowind with dad & mom
ran around furniture
few hours of Twister with mom
more running & jumping (while watching tv)
few hours of Arctic Thunder (got more points than mom)
discussed EverQuest with dad when he woke up
went for 1/2 hour walk around neighborhood (mom wants to do this one again)
discussion on equinox & solstice with mom
mom forgot about time zones while sending e-mail (mom to do this one again)
more tv
fell asleep 10am
<I'm in California, where are you? I turned off the computer at 2am.>
We are in Ohio
the "stay up until whenever" experiment - day 13:
woke up @ 5pm
read more on EverQuest with dad
few hours of Morrowind with dad & mom
ran around furniture
few hours of Twister with mom
more running & jumping (while watching tv)
few hours of Arctic Thunder (got more points than mom)
discussed EverQuest with dad when he woke up
went for 1/2 hour walk around neighborhood (mom wants to do this one again)
discussion on equinox & solstice with mom
mom forgot about time zones while sending e-mail (mom to do this one again)
more tv
fell asleep 10am