Nanci Kuykendall

>I now allow my kids complete access to TV. The
>problem is with my 7 year old son.

Lisa,
I had to respond because you son has a lot of issues
in common with my older son, who is 5.5 years. Thomas
has sensory integration issues, many allergies, very
little patience, anger management problems, compulsive
and obsessive behaviors, is extremely cuddley and
needy. Most of his bigtime cuddles take place in the
morning, often watching tv with his daddy or I before
the day really starts. He is an early riser. He
cannot wear many types of clothes, only soft cloth
pants and shirts, tags cut out, no big seams, no thick
or stiff material, no tight cuffs, no collars, no
short pants, no short sleeves, socks inside out, shoes
loose. He is often naked. He wants his hair cut
short enough not to brush his neck but long enough not
to have cowlicks (his hair is one of his obsessive
things.)

Thomas doesn't respond well to authority and fights
tooth and nail against being thwarted. He is
passionate, impatient, strong willed, stubborn,
artistic and creative.

He also experienced a change of personality watching
too much tv, and was obsessive about the tv. Too much
tv made him very hard to live with, and increased his
frustration and stress level to such a degree that it
was really making him miserable. He required that no
one talk above a whisper in the room where he was
watching tv, because he could not properly filter the
noise out. He was really controlling about what we
watched. So we stopped getting tv, local channels
have not come in well or many in any place that we
have lived, so not taking cable means no real tv
access. Instead we watch videos and DVDs or he plays
computer games or does things online. The different
pace of commercial tv, and the commercials themselves,
were just overloading him to the point that he was not
pleasant to live with and he was not capable of
handling normal daily stress.

One thing I have had many doctors tell me when we have
had him evaluated for his behavioral issues, is that
he is on sensory overload (right before they all tell
me he needs drugs.) His senory integration, for lack
of a better way to term his problem, although I
recognize that labels are insufficient, doesn't enable
him to process too much sensory information at one
time. His ability to filter different sensory input
is limited and the more stimulation he has the worse
it gets. So quiet is good for him, being at home is
good for him, no commercial tv is good for him. At
least until he is older and better able to filter
sensory input without getting overloaded. I consider
this a parenting decision to protect his well being,
sanity, self esteem and family harmony.

We have a Homeopathic family doctor, but Thomas
doesn't want to take the supplements that she gave us,
and it is a lot to expect of him to take all these
things every day. She believes that early stress
affected his nervous system, immune system and
digestive system. Thus he has so many allergies and
is unable to deal well with stress, among other
things. We are still working on finding a good
solution to these issues. But we did go all organic,
and eliminated a few more allergens from his diet, as
well as greatly reduced his sugar intake. That has
helped in his ability to deal with daily stress and
his attention span. With less chemicals for his body
to deal with, he is better able to focus his energy
where he wants and needs it.

I don't know if any of this will help. But I do
aympathize, and you are not alone in dealing with
these issues with your son. Good luck in finding the
right solutions for your son and your family.

Nanci K.

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