A good example of bad negativity
Sandra Dodd
A friend of mine is in the process of moving to Albuquerque.
To get wifi here, the options largely involve cable TV, or satellite TV, plus a cable. Or you can get a phone line (land line) plus cable. She doesn’t watch TV much or any and so she got a phone.
Holly has been housesitting for her, as she get her old house in another state packed up and ready to stage and sell. The move will happen in gradually. Holly will appreciate the wifi!
So my friend posted this, and it’s happy enough:
__________
"Century Link just called my new phone to tell me I now have phone service.”
___________
Moving is stressful. Commiting to some new service that probably has a five-year contract, in a town you’re not even living in yet… that’s stressful.
Some friend of hers I don’t know didn’t think very clearly before posting this:
___________
"I hate Century Link because of years of bad service, lies, etc. I can't wait to switch over to cell phone service completely and be rid of them!
"I hope that your experience with them is better!"
____________
Wow.
I thought… anyone’s experience will be better than that! This woman has given her life over to the hatred of a phone company! :-)
It’s not that my friend doesn’t have a cell phone. She does. She signed up for wifi. :-) And for a phone for emergency calls. Cellphones are the greatest 911-calling machines known to man. Sometimes they’re missing, broken, or have dead batteries. And if you call and pass out at a land line, the 911 people can send an ambulance anyway, usually.
So it seems a post that starts with “I hate…” written to someone who *just now* signed up with them ticked me off. Then it seems I wrote to you guys. :-)
Sorry, especially if some of you just moved. :-) I’m not just trying to spread the stress, but to use a benign bad example from today. Just now. :-)
We have Century Link because they bought the company that bought the company before that, and on back to Bell Telephone. Our phone number is over 40 years old. They offered wifi only relatively lately. :-) Wifi is a frickin’ MIRACLE, and I reckon the hateful friend used wifi to be on facebook and write that note.
UNSCHOOLERS! Please try to avoid any commentary that starts with “I hate…” when…
…when someone has just moved and is stressed.
…when someone is on the edge between calm and stress—don’t tip them over.
…when someone is at peace—don’t screw that up!
Best thing might be to try not to hate very many things, and those you can’t un-hate, try not to share around too freely.
I love century link because they employ lots of people in my town, some of whom are brilliant wifi techs and very helpful, but a few of whom are less competent and maybe less honest, and sometimes might be the one to respond to me when I’m already in a bad mood. :-)
Sandra
To get wifi here, the options largely involve cable TV, or satellite TV, plus a cable. Or you can get a phone line (land line) plus cable. She doesn’t watch TV much or any and so she got a phone.
Holly has been housesitting for her, as she get her old house in another state packed up and ready to stage and sell. The move will happen in gradually. Holly will appreciate the wifi!
So my friend posted this, and it’s happy enough:
__________
"Century Link just called my new phone to tell me I now have phone service.”
___________
Moving is stressful. Commiting to some new service that probably has a five-year contract, in a town you’re not even living in yet… that’s stressful.
Some friend of hers I don’t know didn’t think very clearly before posting this:
___________
"I hate Century Link because of years of bad service, lies, etc. I can't wait to switch over to cell phone service completely and be rid of them!
"I hope that your experience with them is better!"
____________
Wow.
I thought… anyone’s experience will be better than that! This woman has given her life over to the hatred of a phone company! :-)
It’s not that my friend doesn’t have a cell phone. She does. She signed up for wifi. :-) And for a phone for emergency calls. Cellphones are the greatest 911-calling machines known to man. Sometimes they’re missing, broken, or have dead batteries. And if you call and pass out at a land line, the 911 people can send an ambulance anyway, usually.
So it seems a post that starts with “I hate…” written to someone who *just now* signed up with them ticked me off. Then it seems I wrote to you guys. :-)
Sorry, especially if some of you just moved. :-) I’m not just trying to spread the stress, but to use a benign bad example from today. Just now. :-)
We have Century Link because they bought the company that bought the company before that, and on back to Bell Telephone. Our phone number is over 40 years old. They offered wifi only relatively lately. :-) Wifi is a frickin’ MIRACLE, and I reckon the hateful friend used wifi to be on facebook and write that note.
UNSCHOOLERS! Please try to avoid any commentary that starts with “I hate…” when…
…when someone has just moved and is stressed.
…when someone is on the edge between calm and stress—don’t tip them over.
…when someone is at peace—don’t screw that up!
Best thing might be to try not to hate very many things, and those you can’t un-hate, try not to share around too freely.
I love century link because they employ lots of people in my town, some of whom are brilliant wifi techs and very helpful, but a few of whom are less competent and maybe less honest, and sometimes might be the one to respond to me when I’m already in a bad mood. :-)
Sandra
Sylvia Toyama
I used to say "I hate...." pretty regularly, in my angrier, more overwhelmed years. Then I read your words -- more than once -- about negativity and hating things. I didn't always agree ;-), but I found that gradually I moved away from the hate statements. First, it was an attempt to be a good example for my kids, hoping they could find more positive ways to be, and to be happier. I found, tho, that being more aware of my words and feelings and how much energy I gave to those feelings, it felt better to be less negative and more positive. I still could list lots of things I don't necessarily like or enjoy, but I seldom hate anything. Finding new words and ways to frame it, especially when my feelings are about people and not things, gave me pause to consider how the other person arrived at their stance, and how I arrived at mine. Maybe it's made me less prickly, or at least less stressed out about things I don't like.
Choosing not to say "I hate" -- and that's how it started -- required me to think/say how I felt; to say "it makes me angry/sad/frustrated when..." That got me more in touch with my feelings and helped me move past things I used to hate and be angry about. That made me a much happier person, and certainly a better role model for my kids.
Thank you!
Choosing not to say "I hate" -- and that's how it started -- required me to think/say how I felt; to say "it makes me angry/sad/frustrated when..." That got me more in touch with my feelings and helped me move past things I used to hate and be angry about. That made me a much happier person, and certainly a better role model for my kids.
Thank you!
Sylvia
Sandra Dodd
-=- I still could list lots of things I don't necessarily like or enjoy-=-
Everyone could.
Some people do, though. :-)
I used to piss and moan, bitch and whine, too much, before I had kids. Around 1979 or so, we had a roommate who suggested I should be more positive, that I was being a drag sometimes. She herself had become very cheery and upbeat.
It’s not that she had never been critical—she had, too, and we had had some mutual-complaint sessions about other things and situations. But as she got better, I got worse.
Years passed, I took her advice (I heard her voice in my head for years, reminding me to be serent when I could, and not to say all the negative things). I got better. I had kids. It’s hard with three kids to rise above the sweat, poo, pee, spit-up, upchuck, crying, noise, lost shoe. “Shoes” was the plural of single lost shoes.
Next time I looked up, I had practiced HARD to be positive with and around those kids and she, still childless, had become more negative. Really pretty cynical. :-)
Sometimes—maybe with me, and Sylvia, and maybe others—being a mom and having real reasons to be our best selves helps us become better selves. But my friend Pati helped me, too.
Sandra
Everyone could.
Some people do, though. :-)
I used to piss and moan, bitch and whine, too much, before I had kids. Around 1979 or so, we had a roommate who suggested I should be more positive, that I was being a drag sometimes. She herself had become very cheery and upbeat.
It’s not that she had never been critical—she had, too, and we had had some mutual-complaint sessions about other things and situations. But as she got better, I got worse.
Years passed, I took her advice (I heard her voice in my head for years, reminding me to be serent when I could, and not to say all the negative things). I got better. I had kids. It’s hard with three kids to rise above the sweat, poo, pee, spit-up, upchuck, crying, noise, lost shoe. “Shoes” was the plural of single lost shoes.
Next time I looked up, I had practiced HARD to be positive with and around those kids and she, still childless, had become more negative. Really pretty cynical. :-)
Sometimes—maybe with me, and Sylvia, and maybe others—being a mom and having real reasons to be our best selves helps us become better selves. But my friend Pati helped me, too.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
You read what I meant and not what I wrote, right?
Oh. Probably not.
I meant are NOT
but I said “ARE” so it’s a good things I’m not a contract lawyer.
Cellphones are NOT (I meant to say) the greatest 911-calling machines known to man. Sometimes they’re missing, broken, or have dead batteries. And if you call and pass out at a land line, the 911 people can send an ambulance anyway, usually.
____________________
I’m used to facebook now, where we can edit posts after they’re there. I write and then look, and if this is going to be more active I need to relax back down to slowly look, carefully look, THEN send. Darn it. Thank you. Sorry.
Also this: "as she get her old house in another state packed up and ready to stage and sell. The move will happen in gradually.” Will happen gradually, I originally wrote “in stages,” but I’d just said “to stage,” and… **Sorry**
Sandra
Oh. Probably not.
I meant are NOT
but I said “ARE” so it’s a good things I’m not a contract lawyer.
Cellphones are NOT (I meant to say) the greatest 911-calling machines known to man. Sometimes they’re missing, broken, or have dead batteries. And if you call and pass out at a land line, the 911 people can send an ambulance anyway, usually.
____________________
I’m used to facebook now, where we can edit posts after they’re there. I write and then look, and if this is going to be more active I need to relax back down to slowly look, carefully look, THEN send. Darn it. Thank you. Sorry.
Also this: "as she get her old house in another state packed up and ready to stage and sell. The move will happen in gradually.” Will happen gradually, I originally wrote “in stages,” but I’d just said “to stage,” and… **Sorry**
Sandra