ajasta_v@...

We are an unschooling family of five and we all love it. My 8 year old is in remission from cancer and so staying home and being close to her family is all she wants to do, understandable right?

Recently though someone politely told me that I might be too much of an introvert to be providing a stimulating enough environment for my kids to unshcool in.

You see we live in a foreign country and have a very limited social network at the moment. I love my own company and that of my family. I read, I write, I sing and cook ( a lot) but all in the comfort of "home".

We all LOVE being at home and hanging it, its just what we all love the most.


My kids (8, 6, 3) do things like origami (the latest craze in our household), painting, creating very elaborate imaginary games which at times can last whole days or even spread over a few days, we cook (because we love to eat), we read (or at least I read because my kids don't want to yet), watch movies, do stuff on the internet (mainly on animals) and basically just hang out.


We also travel to other countries as much as we can.


We don't get to museums or concerts, we don't have a huge social network, we don't seem to do a lot of the things that may be considered as stimulating and therefore necessary for the unschooling household... hence the comment from my "friend".


The comment sent me into a bit of a tail spin because I am a bit of a hermit and society does tell us that that is not healthy right?? 


So am I ruining my kids lives by being such a homebody or boring as my "friend" would put it?

Advice please :)

Jayne




Sandra Dodd

-=-My kids (8, 6, 3) do things like origami (the latest craze in our household), painting, creating very elaborate imaginary games which at times can last whole days or even spread over a few days, we cook (because we love to eat), we read (or at least I read because my kids don't want to yet), watch movies, do stuff on the internet (mainly on animals) and basically just hang out.-=-

If the oldest has been dealing with cancer (which stresses all the rest out, too) then you’re all in remission from that, I think!

I like the question, because it’s different. Not the same old. And seriously…
I had a very critical friend years ago, and she was (and still is) childless. She was also a pre-school teacher (deaf and special needs) so she saw the world as a place full of children who coulldn’t learn or function without teachers to rescue them.

If your friend thinks that living in a different country isn’t enriching, maybe she’s jealous or resentful for some reason and is picking at you in a way that has more to do with her feelings. Maybe not, but it’s worth a thought.

-=-We also travel to other countries as much as we can.-=-

There are kids who have unschooled their whole lives and not visited another country at all. I started to say 2/3 of my kids, but the boys did spend a fun week in half-northern Ontario. Holly travelled more because she had a friend whose family moved to England, and they took her to France from there when she visited. That was it, for three Dodd kids. And that’s more than lots of other families could do or afford or wish for.

Travel to another country sounds like the ultimate in “getting out.”

-=-We don't get to museums or concerts, we don't have a huge social network, we don't seem to do a lot of the things that may be considered as stimulating and therefore necessary for the unschooling household... hence the comment from my "friend”.-=-

If your kids are content and they’re learning, don’t worry. Schools put 20-30 kids in a room the size of most people’s living room or den, and they’re there, crowded, nearly 180 days. Once or twice, there might be a field trip. Maybe twice. Sometimes they might go elsewhere on the school grounds, to see a play or something. I think international travel is better than one or two four-hour field trips. :-)

-=-The comment sent me into a bit of a tail spin because I am a bit of a hermit and society does tell us that that is not healthy right??
So am I ruining my kids lives by being such a homebody or boring as my "friend" would put it?-=-

No one can say you are or are not ruining your kids’ lives. Check in with them from time to time to see if they want to go and do something. It might be that you and your husband are both introverts and have created introverted kids. If so, keep wifi available, and watch films and listen to music and keep stimulating ideas flowing.

If at some point it seems one of the kids is itchin’ to get out and you and the other kids don’t want to go, find another family and pay them to take your kid with them places! Or offer to babysit in exchange for them taking one or two of your kids to a place or two sometimes, maybe.

Don’t decide now that what you’re doing is good for the next ten or fifteen years.
Also don’t decide now (based on criticism from one person) that you’re ruining your kids.

Live well in the moment, and keep things lively.

http://sandradodd.com/moment

Sandra

Jo Isaac


==someone politely told me that I might be too much of an introvert...such a homebody or boring as my "friend"==

That person is neither polite nor a friend, even in inverted commas.

It sounds to me like your family is doing lots of fun stuff and everyone is happy. Origami, painting, creating, cooking, reading, recovering from an illness that would have affected the whole family in a way that someone else could never imagine.

Living in another country, even if you stay home a lot, is a huge experience. Travelling is a huge experience.

== I am a bit of a hermit and society does tell us that that is not healthy right?? ==

Don't worry about what society tells you. I assume you don't really care or you wouldn't be unschooling anyway, since society says kids should be in school!

Myself and my son are home 90% of the time, and we aren't recovering from a life-threatening illness. It's just where we are both happy right now. That might change, and if it does, we will change with it. 

Look at your kids - are they happy, learning, content? If yes, then don't worry (and avoid the person who called you boring).

Jo




Sandra Dodd

I think it’s possible.
___________
Original poster:
==someone politely told me that I might be too much of an introvert...such a homebody or boring as my "friend”==

Someone:
That person is neither polite nor a friend, even in inverted commas.
___________

I think it is possible for a family to do too little, and for unschooling to fail.

I think it is possible for a friend or “friend” to point out that something seems to quiet or dull to be sparkly and inspiring.

But the things this mom described them doing don’t seem sufficiently dull or quiet (from what she wrote and from what I’m picturing).

Anyone who is worried that more might be better should do a little more and see if it feels right.

But it is normal, common, expected, for friends to worry that a family has gone crazy. And when someone really likes those kids, they can be legitimately concerned. So it might be good to see their nosy comments as concern if possible.

Sometimes it’s jealousy+concern.

Sandra