staceyraeme@...

When we started unschooling I was in the midst of doing a PhD thesis. Since then I have continued to chip away at the thesis and now I am in a position where I have to finish or abandon it. I have decided to finish and plan to spend the next 2 and half months doing that.

 

We are two years in to unschooling. Before that my kids, now 11 and 9, attended school. We have come along way (thanks largely to this group and the unschooling info facebook group) and things are going pretty well – although I am aware of a few areas in which we seem kind of stuck.  I am hoping getting this thesis off my plate will clear up some of my headspace so I can focus on make our lives more joyful more of the time.

 

A complicating factor is that I have rheumatoid arthritis and so cope with some level of chronic pain and fatigue. Working on my computer from 2-6 hours a day (as I am right now) is exhausting. My patience is a little thin and my energy to do things that might not seem like much work to others (driving, making simple meals, helping out with computer issues) is in short supply.  When problems come up (like my son’s sleeping which I have also posted about) I feel somewhat overwhelmed.

 

I am not completely sure what my question is – new ideas for short term coping strategies I guess and maybe (how) do I talk to my kids about it – e.g. when I promise to do something with them and then do not have the energy because I have been working so much?  But also although the thesis will be done in a few months, my arthritis will not be, so I am also wondering about how to be better at unschooling in the long term with that in mind. My kids are older and more independent but even so I do sometimes find that their wants and needs can be challenging to meet when I am feeling crappy – which can happen unpredictably at any time.


Sandra Dodd

-=-e.g. when I promise to do something with them and then do not have the energy because I have been working so much? -=-

Stop promising.

Find someone to do things with them. Find another family going to the zoo or amusement park, and ask nicely or pay them to take your kids too, maybe.

Sandra

Alex & Brian Polikowsky

Hire a sitter or a teen to play with them! Maybe someone that likes the same things.

Hire someone to do house work for you so you don't need to.

Make life easier for you and them.

Sandra's idea of another family that may need some extra cash and could take them to places , while your work or recover, is great.

Alex

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 26, 2016, at 10:51 AM, Sandra Dodd Sandra@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:

 

-=-e.g. when I promise to do something with them and then do not have the energy because I have been working so much? -=-

Stop promising.

Find someone to do things with them. Find another family going to the zoo or amusement park, and ask nicely or pay them to take your kids too, maybe.

Sandra

Sarah Peshek

Short-term suggestions: 
  • Find someone to help you meet your kids' needs during the next few months.  If you have friends or family who have ever offered to help you if you needed it, call on them now with specific requests (Will you please pick up daughter at this time and bring her home?  Will you please bring dinner over on Thursday?).  If you do not have people to help, see if you can budget for some paid help, just for a while. 

  • Get takeout.  Eat ramen or frozen lasagna.  Use a day of good health, if the kids are busy with something else part of the time, to cook up a couple days' worth of food and freeze some.  Meet your family's food needs in any way you can that is peaceful. 

Long-term suggestions:
  • =-=when I promise to do something with them and then do not have the energy=-=      Be trustworthy.  Avoid making promises that you're not sure you can keep.  Certainly there are some promises you can make and then keep (watching a movie) and some things you should instead give an "I hope so, but we'll see how I feel" sort of answer (going for a walk).  

  • =-=wants and needs can be challenging to meet when I am feeling crappy – which can happen unpredictably at any time. =-=  Make the most of bad days by, on good days, coming up with some ideas of activities you CAN share with the kids when you aren't feeling well.  Your family's list would depend on your kids and what they like.  (My kids are 7 and 4 and they really like movies, so I might have the idea of a movie marathon with a tent and popcorn on hand.  Maybe new art supplies or a video game or book to get out for them on a bad day.  It depends...)  This will be even easier if you are able to be really, really present and attentive on good days, I think!

  • =-=things that might not seem like much work to others =-= Don't think overmuch about how what you do seems to others.  Instead, stay in each moment with your family.  See your children in the present.  Do it peacefully and joyfully!

Best of luck,
Sarah Rae






staceyraeme@...

---In [email protected], <Sandra@...> wrote :

-=-e.g. when I promise to do something with them and then do not have the energy because I have been working so much? -=-

Stop promising.


Yes, of course! This should have been obvious but I am glad to have it pointed out. I do try to avoid making promises. I think maybe when I am feeling a bit guilty about my lack of time or energy I sometimes promise when I shouldn't. I need to be more careful about this.

The suggestions here and others I have gleaned from reading here over the last year or two are helpful in coping over the next couple of months. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel so that helps! And it is summer so there are more friends around and things for my kids to do.