maya9@...


My children are 10 and 12 and have always unschooled.  I found this list around when my youngest was born and reading here has profoundly affected our lives, my relationship with my children, my marriage.  I hardly ever post  but I had the urge lately to report in, as it were, to say that, so far, unschooling, as it is talked about here, is working beautifully for us.  Two quick stories that happened recently:

We live close to two of my aunts, great-aunts to my kids, as well as uncles and cousins.  These two women (in their 70s) are wonderful people and my kids spend time with them every week and really love them.  As with any relationship, there are some rough spots, though, and one of those has been an unease on my aunts' side with the way we are homeschooling.  They have, at times, wanted the kids to read out loud to them, for example, or do math problems, for fear, I think, that the kids were way behind where their schooled peers would be.  In the midst of lovely trips, gardening, learning to sew and bake, parties, art projects, shooting with a bow, goats, etc, there would sometimes be this tension around school that we've tried to navigate.

Alongside this, one of the legal requirements for homeschooling where we live is that the kids have to take a yearly test.  I don't think much of these tests and have just seen it as a relatively minor hoop we have to jump to have freedom the rest of the year.  However, after chatting about the test to the aunts a few years ago, the kids noticed that doing well on the tests put the aunts more at ease.  Which added ease to their whole relationship.  So it became, over the years, something we would prep for a little bit, at the kid's request, because high scores meant a year of fun with the aunts with much reduced annoying quizzing and aunty worry.

The last few years we prepped by getting a workbook for their grade and just flipping through it to see if there was anything they didn't know.  It was interesting to see how they might know adding fractions (from cooking, probably) but not know the word "denominator." That is, the way of talking about what they knew, in a school way, was often what they were missing.  Anyway, a few days of this prep and they would take the test and invariably do just fine and the aunts would relax. 

I want to reiterate that this was all from the kids.  I might say, "hey, I want to get this test off our plates by the weekend, so if you want to look at the book, now would be a good time" but that was it.  They weren't sitting down and working the workbooks so much as using it as a reference for what was considered "grade level" that year.

Given how highly they always scored, and given the microscopically small amount of effort they were putting into it, we have all been repeatedly shocked at how very little of what kids do in elementary school is apparently necessary to get this stuff.  What a waste of time for all those kids! 

This year, however, was the first year that the workbook I got contained some math that needed more explaining, long division, multiplication of fractions, percentages, etc.  I said, "Look, you don't need this stuff right now, it's up to you if you want to pursue it just for this test."  But they said they did.  My son said, "I want to have that high score as a backup if they start quizzing me."  Okay.  So we found Kahn Academy for  video explanations. 

An aside, I'm so impressed by the Kahn thing!  How efficient!  If one wants to learn this kind of math, all the way up to calculus, it's amazing, great instruction, easy to follow.  But anyway, the kids started working on the Kahn site every morning and I thought, "this is so weird, here we are, dyed in the wool unschoolers, doing math every morning, am I doing this right? Have I gone off the path?" (Said a bit tongue in cheek, but I *was* thinking about it daily.)  I think when the kids started it they saw it as a video game challenge.  Do these quests (math puzzles), get the reward (high score/aunt fun).  I tried to keep my mouth shut and just help when asked.  I also reminded them if they were busy with other things, "if you want to work on test prep, do it now, we'll be out all afternoon...." that sort of thing, but no pressure.

It was interesting to see how it played out.  My son, 10, discovered he was really good at this kind of math-on-paper and raced ahead.  However when he got to the end of what was expected of him for his grade, he stopped.  "That's enough for scoring high on the test. I just have to score what the other kids score." And he went back to gaming. 

My daughter, 12, on the other hand, discovered she had to really struggle.  It did not come easily and she had to repeat videos over and over to get it.  I told her maybe she ought to just let it go, I could talk to the aunts to get them off her back.  She might find it all much easier in a few years, if she was interested then.  I didn't want her to start feeling stupid, especially with her younger brother sailing past her.  She is an amazing digital artist, works in a studio with adult artists, assistant teaches aikido to the younger kids class at her dojo, plays complex instrumental guitar by ear, can run a 5k in 20 minutes, reads adult SF novels for fun--heck, last month she designed and built a steampunk, Victorian dress out of trash and modeled it on an 80 foot runway for a local gallery "trashion show".  She is anything but stupid.  But she was hitting a wall with this.  Her approach to anything hard, however, ever since she was little, is to put her head down and bull her way through, so she did that for a while.  Grinding ahead on Kahn Academy.  I was both impressed and kind of worried.  But she said, "I'm not stupid enough to think I'm stupid because of math." Right.

So, we did this for a couple of weeks and then they (first my son, then my daughter) said they were done.  Time to take the test.  Which they did.  Then we went swimming. 

I'm telling all of this to say that it seems to me that it isn't the activity (doing written math on Kahn Academy) that defines unschooling, or breaks it.  It's where the activity is coming from (the kids) and for what reason (their own, personal motivation), and how it feels between the parents and kids.  I never would have thought we'd be "doing math" but there we were.  And then they were done with it.  Maybe they'll do more like this next year at test time.  Maybe they won't.

The results this year were about what we expected. Both kids read at high school level (whatever that means), son is in the 90+ percentile in math, daughter is 50%.  She was surprised, given how much she struggled, that she was still right in the middle.  This with zero reading instruction ever (excepting that I have already read/spelled anything they wanted me to) and a couple weeks of math on Kahn academy.  Another year free!  So far, unschooling works, for us anyway.

The second story is shorter, sorry this post is so long.  We don't have a lot of money but within our abilities I've always pretty much bought the kids whatever they wanted. I know parents who would cringe at that statement and worry about "spoiling" them.  But that hasn't been my experience. We built each of the kids gaming computers, my daughter has always had high quality art supplies, we get things used and on sale, but if they ask for something, I try to make it happen and, maybe as a result, the kids are super relaxed about stuff.  I know a lot of parents who struggle so much with kids wanting and wanting and feeling like they (the parents) "have to" say no no no all the time, that they won't even go into toy stores with their kids, etc.  "On your birthday" or "with your allowance" or "no, that's not educational" or "if I get you that then I have to get your sibling something too," or whatever the limitation is.  We haven't had that.  If one of my kids comes up with something they really want, it's cool with the other kid if they get it.  They don't want random stuff, they seem to pursue their interests.  They hardly ever ask for anything.  I often offer.  They have difficulty at Christmas thinking of things to ask for because they feel pretty good with what they've got.  When my son read the Harry Pottery scene about the mirror that shows you your biggest desire he said, "I can't imagine what would be in the mirror for me.  I guess I'm pretty happy."  !!!  That's pure mothering gold right there.

So.  As part of my daughter's studio classes, she lugs a computer, tablet, stylus, etc, to do her work, and I was reading about the new iPad pro and Pencil and how much the tech has advanced.  I wondered if it might be a better option for her, plus she could work anywhere, instead of being tied to the desktop.  This week we went to the apple store and she gave it a long try.  It's very cool!  But in the end, she said, no, she likes her set up better.  Maybe in another year or two when the tech was better, she said.

I was floored (quietly, to myself).  I was ready to pull the trigger on an 12 inch ipad pro for her (with money squirreled away for the last year!) and she assessed it, coolly and methodically, and said no thanks, not yet, I like what I've got.  So we left and strolled around.  The whole thing was very relaxed.  We have friends with kids who are highly controlled about "screentime" and starved for gaming or tablets, who want to play on ours when they come over, etc, leading to some weird behavior sometimes.  And my kid just easily walked away from having an ipad of her own.  "Maybe next year. What I've got is working for me right now."  Sooo not spoiled.  Unschooling, yay!

I'll finish with this funny from last night.  Ever since they were little...it started as a joke but became just how we do things--they get their own grocery carts (used to be those little ones) and put in things they want.  It's their bodies, they should eat what they want, I mean, I don't want anyone telling me what to eat, that's for damn sure.  The limitation is my budget.  So I might say, "we can't afford two cheeses, just one," or, "let's wait for that to go on sale," or, "get a smaller size of that," or "ice cream or cookies, not both, this time, I'm broke."  They seem to get this, no worries, they'll get whatever it is next time.

Other times I'm flush and we have a feast of favorites.  Last night, we were at the pizza place with all those fancy 'by the slice' pizzas behind glass and the kids could not decide, and could not decide.  I was hungry and grumpy and getting snappish.  But I think of the "choose two options" thing. I could walk them out of there in a huff, I could choose for them, I could breathe and be patient, I could order my own now and they could order when they were ready--and each option is getting better, yes?  Then I think, my standby, what would Sandra do? (Sandra, in my head, from your stories I've read, you are a playful, fun person) so I said, "Hey, I didn't buy an iPad this week.  Lets get one slice of each and make up a whole pizza of different slices." And my daughter looks up at me and sings in full-on Bette Midler, "Did you ever know that you're my hero...?" We were cracking up SO HARD.  That moment came directly from reading this list.

I just am so grateful.  We all have so much fun together.  I did not know how to do any of this, or be the person who could be their mother in this way, before I found you all.  Sandra, Joyce, Pam, Deb, Alex, Diana, Rue, Schuyler, many others.  There have been so many points of learning for me and changing old thought patterns. One from Joyce that has been a continual compass is "how would I feel about my marriage if my husband said that to me or treated me this way [that I am about to do/say to my kids]?" If the answer isn't wonderful and close, then don't do it. That one almost always clears the un-thoughtful, junk behavior out, haha. My daughter said recently, "I'm so glad I don't have to fight with my mom the way [her friend] does. They seem so unhappy."  WOW.  I mean, we DO fight, usually about space because we live in a very small house and can get on each others nerves.  But its okay, we work it out. 

So anyway, thank you all, very much. I've been learning at your feet for ten years.  It's been really really worth the time and the personal challenge to become a person my kids might actually think a valuable friend when they are independent (and happy, I hope) adults and don't need me anymore.

Lurker extraordinaire, Maya


Shonda Bradford

From one lurker to another, I must write to say, Thank you! I read your entire post with smiles, laughter and tears of joy. It's so encouraging to hear about the success of others on the unschooling path especially since my son is 4 and we're just starting out. 

I'll continue to read here and 'learn at the feet' of the wonderful parents who care so deeply for their families. Thank you for posting Maya. Thank you Sandra. 

Shonda 

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

On Wednesday, June 8, 2016, 2:47 PM, maya9@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:

 


My children are 10 and 12 and have always unschooled.  I found this list around when my youngest was born and reading here has profoundly affected our lives, my relationship with my children, my marriage.  I hardly ever post  but I had the urge lately to report in, as it were, to say that, so far, unschooling, as it is talked about here, is working beautifully for us.  Two quick stories that happened recently:

We live close to two of my aunts, great-aunts to my kids, as well as uncles and cousins.  These two women (in their 70s) are wonderful people and my kids spend time with them every week and really love them.  As with any relationship, there are some rough spots, though, and one of those has been an unease on my aunts' side with the way we are homeschooling.  They have, at times, wanted the kids to read out loud to them, for example, or do math problems, for fear, I think, that the kids were way behind where their schooled peers would be.  In the midst of lovely trips, gardening, learning to sew and bake, parties, art projects, shooting with a bow, goats, etc, there would sometimes be this tension around school that we've tried to navigate.

Alongside this, one of the legal requirements for homeschooling where we live is that the kids have to take a yearly test.  I don't think much of these tests and have just seen it as a relatively minor hoop we have to jump to have freedom the rest of the year.  However, after chatting about the test to the aunts a few years ago, the kids noticed that doing well on the tests put the aunts more at ease.  Which added ease to their whole relationship.  So it became, over the years, something we would prep for a little bit, at the kid's request, because high scores meant a year of fun with the aunts with much reduced annoying quizzing and aunty worry.

The last few years we prepped by getting a workbook for their grade and just flipping through it to see if there was anything they didn't know.  It was interesting to see how they might know adding fractions (from cooking, probably) but not know the word "denominator." That is, the way of talking about what they knew, in a school way, was often what they were missing.  Anyway, a few days of this prep and they would take the test and invariably do just fine and the aunts would relax. 

I want to reiterate that this was all from the kids.  I might say, "hey, I want to get this test off our plates by the weekend, so if you want to look at the book, now would be a good time" but that was it.  They weren't sitting down and working the workbooks so much as using it as a reference for what was considered "grade level" that year.

Given how highly they always scored, and given the microscopically small amount of effort they were putting into it, we have all been repeatedly shocked at how very little of what kids do in elementary school is apparently necessary to get this stuff.  What a waste of time for all those kids! 

This year, however, was the first year that the workbook I got contained some math that needed more explaining, long division, multiplication of fractions, percentages, etc.  I said, "Look, you don't need this stuff right now, it's up to you if you want to pursue it just for this test."  But they said they did.  My son said, "I want to have that high score as a backup if they start quizzing me."  Okay.  So we found Kahn Academy for  video explanations. 

An aside, I'm so impressed by the Kahn thing!  How efficient!  If one wants to learn this kind of math, all the way up to calculus, it's amazing, great instruction, easy to follow.  But anyway, the kids started working on the Kahn site every morning and I thought, "this is so weird, here we are, dyed in the wool unschoolers, doing math every morning, am I doing this right? Have I gone off the path?" (Said a bit tongue in cheek, but I *was* thinking about it daily.)  I think when the kids started it they saw it as a video game challenge.  Do these quests (math puzzles), get the reward (high score/aunt fun).  I tried to keep my mouth shut and just help when asked.  I also reminded them if they were busy with other things, "if you want to work on test prep, do it now, we'll be out all afternoon...." that sort of thing, but no pressure.

It was interesting to see how it played out.  My son, 10, discovered he was really good at this kind of math-on-paper and raced ahead.  However when he got to the end of what was expected of him for his grade, he stopped.  "That's enough for scoring high on the test. I just have to score what the other kids score." And he went back to gaming. 

My daughter, 12, on the other hand, discovered she had to really struggle.  It did not come easily and she had to repeat videos over and over to get it.  I told her maybe she ought to just let it go, I could talk to the aunts to get them off her back.  She might find it all much easier in a few years, if she was interested then.  I didn't want her to start feeling stupid, especially with her younger brother sailing past her.  She is an amazing digital artist, works in a studio with adult artists, assistant teaches aikido to the younger kids class at her dojo, plays complex instrumental guitar by ear, can run a 5k in 20 minutes, reads adult SF novels for fun--heck, last month she designed and built a steampunk, Victorian dress out of trash and modeled it on an 80 foot runway for a local gallery "trashion show".  She is anything but stupid.  But she was hitting a wall with this.  Her approach to anything hard, however, ever since she was little, is to put her head down and bull her way through, so she did that for a while.  Grinding ahead on Kahn Academy.  I was both impressed and kind of worried.  But she said, "I'm not stupid enough to think I'm stupid because of math." Right.

So, we did this for a couple of weeks and then they (first my son, then my daughter) said they were done.  Time to take the test.  Which they did.  Then we went swimming. 

I'm telling all of this to say that it seems to me that it isn't the activity (doing written math on Kahn Academy) that defines unschooling, or breaks it.  It's where the activity is coming from (the kids) and for what reason (their own, personal motivation), and how it feels between the parents and kids.  I never would have thought we'd be "doing math" but there we were.  And then they were done with it.  Maybe they'll do more like this next year at test time.  Maybe they won't.

The results this year were about what we expected. Both kids read at high school level (whatever that means), son is in the 90+ percentile in math, daughter is 50%.  She was surprised, given how much she struggled, that she was still right in the middle.  This with zero reading instruction ever (excepting that I have already read/spelled anything they wanted me to) and a couple weeks of math on Kahn academy.  Another year free!  So far, unschooling works, for us anyway.

The second story is shorter, sorry this post is so long.  We don't have a lot of money but within our abilities I've always pretty much bought the kids whatever they wanted. I know parents who would cringe at that statement and worry about "spoiling" them.  But that hasn't been my experience. We built each of the kids gaming computers, my daughter has always had high quality art supplies, we get things used and on sale, but if they ask for something, I try to make it happen and, maybe as a result, the kids are super relaxed about stuff.  I know a lot of parents who struggle so much with kids wanting and wanting and feeling like they (the parents) "have to" say no no no all the time, that they won't even go into toy stores with their kids, etc.  "On your birthday" or "with your allowance" or "no, that's not educational" or "if I get you that then I have to get your sibling something too," or whatever the limitation is.  We haven't had that.  If one of my kids comes up with something they really want, it's cool with the other kid if they get it.  They don't want random stuff, they seem to pursue their interests.  They hardly ever ask for anything.  I often offer.  They have difficulty at Christmas thinking of things to ask for because they feel pretty good with what they've got.  When my son read the Harry Pottery scene about the mirror that shows you your biggest desire he said, "I can't imagine what would be in the mirror for me.  I guess I'm pretty happy."  !!!  That's pure mothering gold right there.

So.  As part of my daughter's studio classes, she lugs a computer, tablet, stylus, etc, to do her work, and I was reading about the new iPad pro and Pencil and how much the tech has advanced.  I wondered if it might be a better option for her, plus she could work anywhere, instead of being tied to the desktop.  This week we went to the apple store and she gave it a long try.  It's very cool!  But in the end, she said, no, she likes her set up better.  Maybe in another year or two when the tech was better, she said.

I was floored (quietly, to myself).  I was ready to pull the trigger on an 12 inch ipad pro for her (with money squirreled away for the last year!) and she assessed it, coolly and methodically, and said no thanks, not yet, I like what I've got.  So we left and strolled around.  The whole thing was very relaxed.  We have friends with kids who are highly controlled about "screentime" and starved for gaming or tablets, who want to play on ours when they come over, etc, leading to some weird behavior sometimes.  And my kid just easily walked away from having an ipad of her own.  "Maybe next year. What I've got is working for me right now."  Sooo not spoiled.  Unschooling, yay!

I'll finish with this funny from last night.  Ever since they were little...it started as a joke but became just how we do things--they get their own grocery carts (used to be those little ones) and put in things they want.  It's their bodies, they should eat what they want, I mean, I don't want anyone telling me what to eat, that's for damn sure.  The limitation is my budget.  So I might say, "we can't afford two cheeses, just one," or, "let's wait for that to go on sale," or, "get a smaller size of that," or "ice cream or cookies, not both, this time, I'm broke."  They seem to get this, no worries, they'll get whatever it is next time.

Other times I'm flush and we have a feast of favorites.  Last night, we were at the pizza place with all those fancy 'by the slice' pizzas behind glass and the kids could not decide, and could not decide.  I was hungry and grumpy and getting snappish.  But I think of the "choose two options" thing. I could walk them out of there in a huff, I could choose for them, I could breathe and be patient, I could order my own now and they could order when they were ready--and each option is getting better, yes?  Then I think, my standby, what would Sandra do? (Sandra, in my head, from your stories I've read, you are a playful, fun person) so I said, "Hey, I didn't buy an iPad this week.  Lets get one slice of each and make up a whole pizza of different slices." And my daughter looks up at me and sings in full-on Bette Midler, "Did you ever know that you're my hero...?" We were cracking up SO HARD.  That moment came directly from reading this list.

I just am so grateful.  We all have so much fun together.  I did not know how to do any of this, or be the person who could be their mother in this way, before I found you all.  Sandra, Joyce, Pam, Deb, Alex, Diana, Rue, Schuyler, many others.  There have been so many points of learning for me and changing old thought patterns. One from Joyce that has been a continual compass is "how would I feel about my marriage if my husband said that to me or treated me this way [that I am about to do/say to my kids]?" If the answer isn't wonderful and close, then don't do it. That one almost always clears the un-thoughtful, junk behavior out, haha. My daughter said recently, "I'm so glad I don't have to fight with my mom the way [her friend] does. They seem so unhappy."  WOW.  I mean, we DO fight, usually about space because we live in a very small house and can get on each others nerves.  But its okay, we work it out. 

So anyway, thank you all, very much. I've been learning at your feet for ten years.  It's been really really worth the time and the personal challenge to become a person my kids might actually think a valuable friend when they are independent (and happy, I hope) adults and don't need me anymore.

Lurker extraordinaire, Maya


Sandra Dodd

-=- It was interesting to see how they might know adding fractions (from cooking, probably) but not know the word "denominator." That is, the way of talking about what they knew, in a school way, was often what they were missing. Anyway, a few days of this prep and they would take the test and invariably do just fine and the aunts would relax. -=-

When Kirby was little, and was unschooling but the other two weren’t school-age yet (and we figured they might want to go to school, there was a game we played. I called it “gambling.” They brought pennies from their own money, or nickels and we’d do change. I’d bring a bowl of pennies. We played up on the big bed.

OH! I wrote it up already, at some point and will quote it below with a link.
I became really confident, from that game, that they were picking things up that neither I nor they were aware of. Sometimes I would ask Holly first if I thought she might know, and if she missed, then Marty got a chance, and if Marty missed, Kirby could have it. We discussed as much or as little as they wanted to, and pennies were exchanged, and they won, and we all knew more about each other.
______

When my kids were little we played a game I called "gambling." I wouldn't say "Do you want to play that thing?" I'd say "Let's gamble."

They had to have money to gamble, and so they'd bring pennies and nickles and I would too, and we'd have wooden bowls or some containers, and we'd always play on my bed. I'd get those sets of cards that are by grade and have school categories, and I'd go to the next page every time (they're bound with one rivet/screw thing on one end) and choose one that would be a little hard but not impossible. Sometimes we used dice, but I never hesitated to skip one I knew was too hard, or to use a different category without announcing it. We'd go through all the kids, usually youngest to oldest, but sometimes we'd rotate, or I'd offer it to the kid who hadn't won lately or who might know it because of some recent thing.

If the kid knew it, he got a penny. If not, I got a penny. If it was unknowable because they'd never ever heard of it, or if it was too hard, no pennies were exchanged. Great answers got two pennies. Pointing out a flaw in the question got a penny.

When it was too hard I'd explain briefly what the answer was and why. I'd try to add one little bit of interesting info, but wouldn't make a lesson of it at all.

We just played fast and for fun and there was a lot of laughter. Often there would be a globe on the bed, and a map and maybe a calculator or something else by the end of it, and when it stopped being fun for someone, we'd all quit.

They always won.

And I always found out some things they knew that surprised me, and I was able to discover some things I might want to make more available to them. That's part of how I knew what to strew. I haven't told this story for a long time, maybe since before I was collecting web pages. I should put it out there... See also strewing

We didn't go with the subject categories, but just randomized it all and treated it all like one giant category, mostly. I remember avoiding the spelling stuff, because even when they knew LOTS of math and geography and history, they still couldn't spell. When I was in school it was the other way for me. See also subjects and checklists

Sandra
___________
http://sandradodd.com/testing/gambling

Those trees at the bottom of that page, with the links, are Marty, Holly, Holly, Kirby.
The big one is me.
The art is by Bo King (friend of the boys, their age), and based on a cartoon he hadn’t seen before, but watched because I said “Make trees dancing like the candle flame from Animaniacs.”

I had hoped to put a link to a video here, but it’s not available right now except on DVD, it seems. (We own it, but it’s not online.)

http://animaniacs.wikia.com/wiki/The_Flame

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

-=- I think when the kids started it they saw it as a video game challenge. Do these quests (math puzzles), get the reward (high score/aunt fun). I tried to keep my mouth shut and just help when asked. . . ..-=-

When my kids were little, most computer games were “educational”—math or spelling or music (my favorites)—but I figured if it was for fun, and the background music was pretty, and the art was interesting, it didn’t matter. Sometimes, on things like Treasure Math Storm, I would go in when they were asleep, crank the difficulty level up, and earn them some coins or whatever it was (I’ve forgotten) and then set the difficulty back down before anyone came back to it. I still remember some of the music from those games. Music sticks with me.


-=-It was interesting to see how it played out. My son, 10, discovered he was really good at this kind of math-on-paper and raced ahead. However when he got to the end of what was expected of him for his grade, he stopped. "That's enough for scoring high on the test. I just have to score what the other kids score." And he went back to gaming. -=-

The effects of gaming, on my kids’ ability to judge the value of time and effort, has really impressed me. I’m positive that their experience with games has helped them manage money better as adults. They’re not going to “waste points” because of the time it took to make them. And that translates to things like electric bills and bank accounts. They’re also willing to spend money on comfort and entertainment. They have a balanced but thoughtful attitude toward maintaining a living space. All three have different experiences, continuing to unfold. But I see choices like “That’s enough…” and moving to another activity in them, in practical, sensible ways.

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

-=- I didn't want her to start feeling stupid, especially with her younger brother sailing past her. She is an amazing digital artist, works in a studio with adult artists, assistant teaches aikido to the younger kids class at her dojo, plays complex instrumental guitar by ear, can run a 5k in 20 minutes, reads adult SF novels for fun--heck, last month she designed and built a steampunk, Victorian dress out of trash and modeled it on an 80 foot runway for a local gallery "trashion show". -=-

When you get a natural chance to bring it up, maybe show her some of the graphics or lists here.
http://sandradodd.com/intelligences

School leads some kids to believe they are GENIUSES because they score well on math and vocabulary/grammar tests. Those same “geniuses” might not be able to draw anything recognizeable, nor play an instrument or carry a tune, or run or do any martial arts of sports, or design and build anything at all. In school, the kids who excell in “extra” things (music, art, sports) are often threatened with that being withheld if their math and English (science and history, maybe, which are other versions of math and English, in school) grades aren’t maintained. Frustrating!

But for unschooling, interpersonal relationships and music can be gloriously encouraged.

-=-Then I think, my standby, what would Sandra do? (Sandra, in my head, from your stories I've read, you are a playful, fun person) so I said, "Hey, I didn't buy an iPad this week. Lets get one slice of each and make up a whole pizza of different slices.” -=-

Well… Thanks!
And the pizza sounds fun.
There have been a couple of times this week I was impatient, so I’m a little embarrassed, but your reminder that I sometimes pop up as a character people can emulate reminds me to stop whining and just be cheerier, even when it’s hot and things aren’t going as planned. :-)

Usually I do pretty well, but this week has been a little glitchy in spots. :-)

My kids, too, have turned down offers of things as big as iPads. It’s HUGE evidence that all this generosity and abundance and providing of options, and of time to think, makes bigger changes than predicted even by unschoolers themselves. It’s pretty surprising. I was trying to buy Holly a new MacBook, and she talked me out of it. After several hours of trying, and trying differently, I managed to upgrade her old one (my old one that she’s using) to the newest operating system, and she’s back in business.

When kids have turned down offers of equipment and help and cash, it makes it REALLY easy to say yes if they ask for something, too.

Sandra