redheadmom11@...

The only thing I miss from our days of relaxed homeschooling since we've started unschooling is our family read-aloud time. My kids used to sigh when I would tell them it was time, but they usually got very into it. Many times while reading the Little House series, I would find my kids outside afterwards pretending to churn butter or they would be using extra planks of wood to build their own little cabins. Since we started unschooling, I've stopped making the kids listen to me read but have instead been offering a bedtime story. They can choose whether or not they want to listen. Lately we've been reading a Minecraft novel, and the kids seem to enjoy it, but I've been noticing that they don't seem to miss it when I don't read it for one reason or another. I'm beginning to wonder if they are only listening out of a sense of obligation from our former days of when they were required to listen and whether or not I should take a break from our bedtime stories until they express an interest in hearing one. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?


Btw, when I say "bedtime story," I simply mean that we wait until the 2-yr.-old is asleep because it is very hard to read while she's awake. The kids are usually awake for hours afterwards. (Unless they fall asleep during the story which sometimes happens, too.)

Joyce Fetteroll

> On May 19, 2015, at 7:06 PM, redheadmom11@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> I would find my kids outside afterwards pretending to churn
> butter or they would be using extra planks of wood to build
> their own little cabins

So the benefit of the reading was what made you feel better. You liked the after effect so their initial feelings didn't matter. What mattered is that you could see activity that made you feel something positive was happening.

Is pretending to churn butter better than pretending to be Harry Potter wizards or Minecrafters? Or is it better only because you perceive it to be? Are you valuing old-time values more than you're valuing pretend play?

Have you tried asking them what they liked and didn't like about the reading you were doing before? And what they miss? And what they like and don't like about the present reading?

The better you get to know them, the easier it is to make choices they'll enjoy.

Perhaps you could read literature at breakfast time. Or lunch. Or as a wake up while they're still in bed. Or listen to it on audio while the kids do other things or in the car.

Joyce

Sandra Dodd

-=-I'm beginning to wonder if they are only listening out of a sense of obligation from our former days of when they were required to listen and whether or not I should take a break from our bedtime stories until they express an interest in hearing one. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?-=-

Ask them! And why should it be all (every night) or nothing (give it up)?

Pretending to churn butter is about as useful as pretending to polish chain mail with sand in barrel. Only people used to eat butter that was made in a wooden churn that could never really be cleaned. Unless one owns a cow and lives in the 19th century, churning butter isn't a useful skill.

If you read more about the author of the Little House on the Prairie books, perhaps the worshipfulness of that fictional world will fade in you enough that you can see other things that are just as valuable for stories of relationships and adventure.

Sandra

Sarah Thompson

Unschooling makes the world bigger. Now that they don't have to make the best of a bad situation, your kids will pursue the creative play that really interests them. Realizing that they *can* choose not to do the things they used to be obligated to do might look lumpy as they discover broader horizons. Your deschooling process can be enriched by realizing that you are facilitating this increased sphere, and by seeing how you were liminiting yourself through your beliefs about worthwhile pursuits.

Sarah

Ali Zeljo

***** Lately we've been reading a Minecraft novel, and the kids seem to enjoy it, but I've been noticing that they don't seem to miss it when I don't read it for one reason or another. I'm beginning to wonder if they are only listening out of a sense of obligation from our former days of when they were required to listen and whether or not I should take a break from our bedtime stories until they express an interest in hearing one. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? *****

It sounds to me like you are reading an okay book but not a fabulous one!  I bet you don't miss the story either?  Maybe offer to start another more awesome series like Harry Potter or Cat Warriors?

Did you recently stop limiting computer games too?  My kids took about 2-3 years to get back to wanting to read sometimes before bed after I stopped choosing for them.  They still often prefer to watch YouTube videos in bed, but if I have a good book going with one of them, they will often choose to listen and fall asleep that way.   I also read during the day and they all enjoy listening now.  Back when the limits were newly lifted, nothing was as compelling as playing on the computer!  

My 15 year old hasn't read a book in 4 years.  Books just can't draw him away from what he is really into right now.  

Ali



redheadmom11@...

Harry Potter play would be awesome, too, and my kids play Minecraft and WoW-type games in the yard all the time. It wasn't so much that it was Little House play- it was just the first example that came to mind. I wasn't concerned so much with the content of what I read to them as with making sure my kids ACTUALLY enjoy being read to. I don't want them to feel like they have to listen. Maybe instead of telling them that I'm going to start reading, I'll start asking them if anyone would like for me to read. It can be tricky finding a good time to read because with 10 kids there's always someone exploring or building something, and I don't want to interrupt them. My kids know that I'll read to them whenever they ask, so maybe I should wait until they approach me?

redheadmom11@...

~= Did you recently stop limiting computer games too?=~ 

I stopped limiting computer games over a year ago and never had limits on tv. While my kids do love watching YouTube videos (they've made a lot of cool stuff from those videos), they spend a lot of time outside and making things, as well. So, I don't know if that's it. Maybe they just don't enjoy the reading time as much as I do, and that's okay. That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Sandra Dodd

-=-Maybe they just don't enjoy the reading time as much as I do, and that's okay. That's what I'm trying to figure out.-=-

You don't need to figure it out.
Read to them if they want you to, and don't if they don't.

Communicate with THEM.

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

-=-My 15 year old hasn't read a book in 4 years. Books just can't draw him away from what he is really into right now. -=-

http://sandradodd.com/bookandsax
I wrote that in 2003—a dozen years ago.

Books are not, to children these days (or twenty years ago) what they were to me when I was a child (nor others).

Sandra

Alex & Brian Polikowsky

I have always been a big reader. I love books and stories and I learned to read early and well and read books non stop all my childhood! Many over and over again.
You know what I did not like?
Being read to. Never did. Do not like it now!

It took me awhile to learn to like audiobooks an I can I only listen to them if I am moving! 
Ditto for laying down drive me crazy and I cannot concentrate. My mind goes everywhere .

I like in a dairy farm with many dairy cows! I have made butter a few times. Yes it is delicious.
No I have too much I rather do than churn butter.

My kids helped each one time. They had fun for a few minutes and then they were done.

They did play many years together with plush animals. For hours they played pretend fueled by the plush animals/characters we had , many from video games and TV shows!

Alex Polikowsky

Sent from my iPhone

On May 20, 2015, at 9:28 AM, redheadmom11@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:

 

Harry Potter play would be awesome, too, and my kids play Minecraft and WoW-type games in the yard all the time. It wasn't so much that it was Little House play- it was just the first example that came to mind. I wasn't concerned so much with the content of what I read to them as with making sure my kids ACTUALLY enjoy being read to. I don't want them to feel like they have to listen. Maybe instead of telling them that I'm going to start reading, I'll start asking them if anyone would like for me to read. It can be tricky finding a good time to read because with 10 kids there's always someone exploring or building something, and I don't want to interrupt them. My kids know that I'll read to them whenever they ask, so maybe I should wait until they approach me?

Alex & Brian Polikowsky

My daughter has fallen in love with the Warrior series by Erin Hunter and she reads the books many times over. She also reads fan fiction, role plays online ( Instagram) and has even started writing a fan fiction piece.

There is so much about that series to do!
When I was a child it was just the book!
Rarely a book was made into a movie or even a comic/graphic novel.

Books were pretty much it.

Now , for example Harry Potter, there are books, movies, toys, games ( all kind- video and board game) memorabilia, cosplay, role play, fan fiction, art, clothing and so much more.

Also this reminds me of this video;


Alex

Sent from my iPhone

On May 20, 2015, at 12:54 PM, Sandra Dodd Sandra@... [AlwaysLearning] <[email protected]> wrote:
<Sandra@...>

redheadmom11@...

~=My daughter has fallen in love with the Warrior series by Erin Hunter=~

My daughter, Devin(16), read that series several years ago and loved it as well. Now her latest loves are reading manga online and reading fan fiction stemming from those stories. She does cosplay also and goes to 2 or 3 conventions a year.

Arianna(13) also loves fan fiction, but hers are written about her favorite bands usually. That's what's taken up most of her time the past couple of months- sitting in her room reading fan fiction.

I didn't know there were RPG's on Instagram! I'll have to tell my kids.

Maybe I'll check the Warrior series out of the library and see if any of younger kids would be interested in it. Who knows? Maybe they'll make a movie of that someday...

Thanks for the ideas.

Shelly

alohabun@...

I love to read before bed! Usually there are a few books already tucked into the side of our bed next to a flashlight - some that the kids like and some I am in the process of reading myself. 

Typically, when we get in bed, I'll ask the kids if they want me to read. If they aren't interested or if someone else reads to them, I might read a bit of my own book. Often my 9 year old will read hers while I read mine. She's been reading the Cat Warrior series and loving it! 

Don't assume that it has to be the same on any given night. Ask if anyone wants to hear a story. Go with the flow of how everyone is feeling. Some nights they might love to hear a story aloud, and other nights they might prefer to read by themselves, think, go to sleep, or if it's not too distracting to others maybe watch something, listen to a story on tape, write or draw, etc. 

Tell the kids that if you ever forget to offer, that they can always ask you to read too. 

Also, sometimes rather than read a story, we've taken turns making up a story (saying it aloud as we make it up). We've even taken turns adding to a story that someone started. You never know what direction it will take! 

A favorite activity of my six year old is for someone else (especially his big brother or sister) to take one of his favorite books and change the story into an extra funny one - to mix it up and incorporate whatever makes him laugh! They usually know what makes him laugh! Even so, he'll often tell them what to have happen next. This can get to be a kind of loud entertainment though. So if you would like to settle down and chill out, that kind of silly story-telling might be better done when you aren't trying to relax into sleep!

Laurie :)

redheadmom11@...

The other day I received Sandra's Big Book of Unschooling that I had ordered. While I've already read through most of her website, something about having an actual book in my hands made it seem more special. Maybe it's the feel of the paper, or the smell of a new book (although I particularly love the smell of old books even more), or the fact that I can make notations or turn down pages which are particularly meaningful to me. It just seems to make it more MINE. 

Anyway, yesterday when I was reading through it, I had an epiphany about this whole reading thing because of something that she said. I think that since I'm so bookish and do sincerely love them, I've been giving them more importance than what my kids may have assigned to them. It was this particular quote that hit me : 

~= I am so certain that learning comes from experiences and touching, hearing, seeing, smelling and tasting that in light of natural learning, books seem flat and dry.=~ (p. 148)

Just that one sentence turned everything upside down for me. While I have been putting so much importance in the written word, my children have been exploring and building, laughing and playing, and experiencing LIFE. How could any book outdo that?

So, thank you, Sandra- so much. I'm framing that quote and putting it on my wall as a reminder to myself to live life as my children do.

Sandra Dodd

-=-So, thank you, Sandra- so much. I'm framing that quote and putting it on my wall as a reminder to myself to live life as my children do.-=-

Thanks.
That reminds me to consider using it on Just Add Light and Stir. :-)

If someone here doesn't know what that is, you might want to know.
http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com

Sandra