Seeing things
Sandra Dodd
I clicked on a blog called "unprocessed people" that came across my facebook feed. I was curious.
It's more political activism and vegan recipes than parenting. I'm bringing it as an example of some things to consider avoiding.
-=-I’m not the type of parent who makes a different meal for each of her finicky children. H – no. So yes, to an extent, our children eat whatever I make. -=-
She was building up to saying that when they're home they eat what she gives them, but when they're out elsewhere, they can eat what's served or available.
-=-As nutritarian, plant strong, vegan, WFPB (whole foods plat based), non GMO, juicing andblending enthusiasts/evangelists-=-
Some of you might be interested in it for the recipes.
What it showed me is how far I've come from "Parents are REAL" and kids are future adults.
"Unprocessed kids" was about diet, not about whether the children are themselves "being processed." At first I guess I had associated it with Valerie Fitzenreiter's book The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School.
______________quote:__________
Having a house full of rambunctious children can really wear on my patience sometimes. Often I feel like I spend my life as a full-time referee. With two boys who are the same age, fighting just comes with the territory I suppose.
We really limit the time our children are allowed to watch television and play video games. -=-
_________Sandra:__________
I found that passage while looking to see whether their children were in school or homeschooled. The question wasn't addressed.
Maybe they wouldn't live in a territory where fighting is normal or accepted if they were allowed to watch TV and play video games more.
But it's more than that. The mom is making decisions based on trying to make sure her children change the world.
____________quote:_________
We can’t have a world filled with compassionate and caring adults if we don’t take the time to instill those qualities in our children. The shows played on television these days won’t do it for you.
Every person who comes across my children now and when they’re grown will be effected by them in some way. I want to live in a different world than the one we do now. I want people to care about everyone. To love all people and all creatures. I can’t change the world but I can raise up three people who will want to change the world as well and so can you..
______________________Sandra_____________
I wonder if her children might not have the same kind of guilt gifted children are "gifted" with—if they fail to change the world to their mother's specifications.
Earlier in that same post she talked about giving them a soup, for dinner, that one of the children doesn't like.
________________________quote:__________
When my son brought his bowl over to me once finished I said thank you for not complaining about dinner, that I really appreciated it. He replied, “I really can’t complain about not liking my dinner when some kids have no place to sleep and no dinner to eat.”
Wow. That warms me up right to the core. These moments are the ones I live for.
_______________________Sandra_________
Maybe he could have food he likes. Perhaps THAT would be an example of compassion, on the mom's behalf.
It sounds like her heart was warmed because her manipulation of his emotions is paying off.
_____________quote:_________________
(Name, name, name of children) here is my hope for you: Don’t settle for anything less than changing the world. For whatever you believe. Don’t hang up your beliefs on the shelf because they make you different. Be the change I’ve always wanted to see in the world. Be the voice for those who can’t make the change themselves.
__________________Sandra______________
-=-Be the change I’ve always wanted to see in the world.-=-
That seems way beyond the pressure some of us have seen or known to do something one of our parents was unable to do but Really WANTED: professional sports, astronautics, ballet, Olympic skiing...
Living vicariously through one's children is to make them an extension of the parent in an unhealthy way, in a way that doesn't see them as separate people with their own skills, desires, aversions, hopes.
So anyway...
It surprised me that "unprocessed" didn't extend to compassion for the children, or really seeing them as people who might want to play more video games, fight less, or NOT be missionaries for their mom's political visions.
I have said before that unschooling will change the world, will make the world a better place, but what I meant was there will be more people who know learning doesn't need schooling, and more people who didn't grow up with shame and punishments—people who are likely to be good, peaceful, interesting partners and friends and parents someday.
This is interesting (quoting again):
-=-Every person who comes across my children now and when they’re grown will be effected by them in some way. I want to live in a different world than the one we do now. I want people to care about everyone. To love all people and all creatures. I can’t change the world but I can raise up three people who will want to change the world as well and so can you..-=-
"Affected" she meant.
I don't think every person who comes across my children are affected in some way. Some are.
-=-I want to live in a different world than the one we do now.... I can’t change the world but...-=-
Why does she think her children can (or should want to) if she can't?
Anyway...
This is the kind of activism-above-children I've cautioned people about sometimes. If "the cause" is big on the horizon and the children need to live in the shadow of that, parenting isn't as rich or as direct as it could be.
The same blogger wrote "It’s so important to remember that our children become some version of who we are as people. Be someone worthy of being emulated." but she goes on then about teaching them, fighting for things, persecution. Politics.
It's more political activism and vegan recipes than parenting. I'm bringing it as an example of some things to consider avoiding.
-=-I’m not the type of parent who makes a different meal for each of her finicky children. H – no. So yes, to an extent, our children eat whatever I make. -=-
She was building up to saying that when they're home they eat what she gives them, but when they're out elsewhere, they can eat what's served or available.
-=-As nutritarian, plant strong, vegan, WFPB (whole foods plat based), non GMO, juicing andblending enthusiasts/evangelists-=-
Some of you might be interested in it for the recipes.
What it showed me is how far I've come from "Parents are REAL" and kids are future adults.
"Unprocessed kids" was about diet, not about whether the children are themselves "being processed." At first I guess I had associated it with Valerie Fitzenreiter's book The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School.
______________quote:__________
Having a house full of rambunctious children can really wear on my patience sometimes. Often I feel like I spend my life as a full-time referee. With two boys who are the same age, fighting just comes with the territory I suppose.
We really limit the time our children are allowed to watch television and play video games. -=-
_________Sandra:__________
I found that passage while looking to see whether their children were in school or homeschooled. The question wasn't addressed.
Maybe they wouldn't live in a territory where fighting is normal or accepted if they were allowed to watch TV and play video games more.
But it's more than that. The mom is making decisions based on trying to make sure her children change the world.
____________quote:_________
We can’t have a world filled with compassionate and caring adults if we don’t take the time to instill those qualities in our children. The shows played on television these days won’t do it for you.
Every person who comes across my children now and when they’re grown will be effected by them in some way. I want to live in a different world than the one we do now. I want people to care about everyone. To love all people and all creatures. I can’t change the world but I can raise up three people who will want to change the world as well and so can you..
______________________Sandra_____________
I wonder if her children might not have the same kind of guilt gifted children are "gifted" with—if they fail to change the world to their mother's specifications.
Earlier in that same post she talked about giving them a soup, for dinner, that one of the children doesn't like.
________________________quote:__________
When my son brought his bowl over to me once finished I said thank you for not complaining about dinner, that I really appreciated it. He replied, “I really can’t complain about not liking my dinner when some kids have no place to sleep and no dinner to eat.”
Wow. That warms me up right to the core. These moments are the ones I live for.
_______________________Sandra_________
Maybe he could have food he likes. Perhaps THAT would be an example of compassion, on the mom's behalf.
It sounds like her heart was warmed because her manipulation of his emotions is paying off.
_____________quote:_________________
(Name, name, name of children) here is my hope for you: Don’t settle for anything less than changing the world. For whatever you believe. Don’t hang up your beliefs on the shelf because they make you different. Be the change I’ve always wanted to see in the world. Be the voice for those who can’t make the change themselves.
__________________Sandra______________
-=-Be the change I’ve always wanted to see in the world.-=-
That seems way beyond the pressure some of us have seen or known to do something one of our parents was unable to do but Really WANTED: professional sports, astronautics, ballet, Olympic skiing...
Living vicariously through one's children is to make them an extension of the parent in an unhealthy way, in a way that doesn't see them as separate people with their own skills, desires, aversions, hopes.
So anyway...
It surprised me that "unprocessed" didn't extend to compassion for the children, or really seeing them as people who might want to play more video games, fight less, or NOT be missionaries for their mom's political visions.
I have said before that unschooling will change the world, will make the world a better place, but what I meant was there will be more people who know learning doesn't need schooling, and more people who didn't grow up with shame and punishments—people who are likely to be good, peaceful, interesting partners and friends and parents someday.
This is interesting (quoting again):
-=-Every person who comes across my children now and when they’re grown will be effected by them in some way. I want to live in a different world than the one we do now. I want people to care about everyone. To love all people and all creatures. I can’t change the world but I can raise up three people who will want to change the world as well and so can you..-=-
"Affected" she meant.
I don't think every person who comes across my children are affected in some way. Some are.
-=-I want to live in a different world than the one we do now.... I can’t change the world but...-=-
Why does she think her children can (or should want to) if she can't?
Anyway...
This is the kind of activism-above-children I've cautioned people about sometimes. If "the cause" is big on the horizon and the children need to live in the shadow of that, parenting isn't as rich or as direct as it could be.
The same blogger wrote "It’s so important to remember that our children become some version of who we are as people. Be someone worthy of being emulated." but she goes on then about teaching them, fighting for things, persecution. Politics.
Sandra