Mary Hickman

Hi Sue,

Wow, what a great talk about Texas. This last weekend at a group campout
Debbie Z. and I were talking about visiting ya'all in Texas. Tim's not ready
for me to go solo all the way with 3 kids. If Debbie and I go together I
think he's more likely so say go for it.

We have planned a great not-back-to-school week, complete with a first time
airplane trip to Disneyland. The kids have asked for many years to go and
now we will. Ashley will be almost 8, Riley 5 , Tessa nearing 3. Seems
doable finally.

I'm wondering about this school idea Ashley has proposed. I'm wondering if
she asked for a piano teacher I would jump up and get her one. If she asked
to try rockclimbing, we would pursue that. Now she is asking for a chance to
see what school is like from the inside. She knows what unschooling is like
from the inside. She tries to share with her friends that it is like summer
vacation all the time. Or like Saturday and Sunday everyday. Part of me is
game for trying school in that she will then know from experience just what
it is like to sit still, raise her hand, be burdened with homework, miss
going to great places with the rest of us, reduce her other activities to
accomodate schooltime.

The other part of me, who knows my daughter really well, feels she may enjoy
school alot. She may not find it a negative place without freedom. She is
structured, enjoys adult role models, thrives in doing her best. She likes
to play test and asks for spelling words, or quiz me about my knowledge. She
enjoys filling out pages, buys workbooks with her allowance. She may feel I
need to give her more structure here at home. I would rather be her mom than
take on a school at home approach. She has been unschooled since I thought
about her education in utero. I wonder will she come back home? Will she be
negatively affected from the experience? Will she be swallowed up by her
peers? Will she increase her dislike for her brother? These are my initial
questions. Will I like dealing with a teacher telling me the strengths and
weaknesses of my child. Will I miss her all day?

I love the discussion about spirituality and unschooling. Keep writing
please.

Deb L. I copied you piece about children and their behavior. I thought hard
about my family. Why do my children get me so frustrated that I have bad
behavior? How can I be more gentle on myself. When I put blinders up to
societies expectations I do so much better loving my children actively. When
I worry about how they appear, I do things that are not in the kids best
interest.

As most of you know already, my kids can be pretty hard on eachother. We
have had a rough 2 years learning about respect and feelings and trying out
ways to calm down before some one losses it. I am sometimes envious of
single child families. To be completely one-on-one most of the time, to
never insist on a young child to be quiet while a baby nurses to sleep,
every day for 2 plus years. To be able to be hands on most of the time,
enjoying what that one person is into. My first 2 kids are like night and
day. What one is into the other is not. I get exhausted trying to meet their
unique needs.

Talk to you all soon,

Mary

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