Sandra Dodd

Hema Bharadwaj posted this on facebook

Went with a Homeschooling group to this lovely historic farm where most of the buildings are from the 1800s and the farm gives tours of life in a farm from that period. The highlight of the day for us was our friendly, knowledgeable, patient hostess Sandy. Raghu said he could cook in their 1800s kitchen forever. I felt a teensy bit closer to Laura Ingalls, Raghu and Zoya discussed the similarities between a real farm and their Minecraft farm, Raghu milked a cow and loved it, Zoya loved walking around and stroking the many cats. They got to do farm chores and then cook their own breakfast. And when Sandy asked what important event happened around 1860, the video-gaming child newly landed from India said 'the American Civil War' without batting an eyelid. He would have liked to ask Sandy about how the farm weathered the war but they had to run to the next chore.

There are photos you might be able to see here:
https://www.facebook.com/hema.a.bharadwaj/media_set?set=a.10203276440969555.1073741836.1165567268&type=1

Though both the parents have lived in the U.S., the kids just lately moved to New Jersey from Pune.
Pretty cool that Raghu was the one to answer the question. :-) I love stories like that. :-)

Sandra

<anniel_5@...>

---In [email protected], <Sandra@...> wrote :

Though both the parents have lived in the U.S., the kids just lately moved to New Jersey from Pune.
Pretty cool that Raghu was the one to answer the question. :-) I love stories like that. :-)

Sandra-----

We've had things like that happen several times - at a museum or tourist attraction, when there are school groups (and other tourists) there, and its my kids answering all the questions - especially LiAM, and he's always been a number of years younger than the school kids. One time it even resulted in us being asked (by the teachers) if we'd like to join the class on the extra 'schools only' part of their excursion - we got to go out into the mangroves with the school kids and look through the mud for living creatures - and LiAM was the one who made the presentation to the rest of the class about what his group had found (he was happy to share the excitement of what they'd found and no one else in his group wanted to speak). The teachers always comment on the knowledge and even more so the enthusiasm and interest level that my kids show. 

Annie

Sandra Dodd

-=- The teachers always comment on the knowledge and even more so the enthusiasm and interest level that my kids show. -=-

Yes.  This happens, when parents can really embrace unschooling and enable it to really flow in their children's lives.

I have seen it not happen, in some families.  I have seen it happen in many, many more.  Perhaps others here would like to say what they think the difference is, but for me I think it's attitude.  A family with a light, happy attitude gives children a chance to be joyful and effervescent—to rise up smiling, even in mangrove-swamp mud. :-)   Even, for my oldest, to climb up into the cab of a big semi in a vacant lot, in a drivers's education class, to see whether he could see, in the rearview mirror, a big  concrete block that the truck driver said was as big as a volkswagen.

That story is a good one.  

A driver's ed teachers all my kids loved and quoted and told stories about had a truck-driving friend.  The friend, just as a favor to the teacher, brought his big rig and parked it in the vacant lot near the driver's ed school.

I just called Kirby to ask whether the trailer was still on the truck.  He said yes.  When they got there the truck was already parked, in this carefully chosen position, so the concrete block (which Kirby has just said was about 10x10 feet, not as tall as he was, and had some sort of cooling structure on it—not dumped there, but made there for some reason).

So the teacher asked for a volunteer to get up in the cab to look in the mirrors.  Kirby jumped up and did it.   That was the report I had, nearly ten years ago.  Most of the kids there were 15, 16,  Kirby was early 17, I think; he stalled about getting a license because he was really busy with a job and karate a bunch of hobbies and didn't have time to take a solid week to enroll in this driver's ed intensive school where they all went, in turn.

I asked Kirby today whether other kids went in after he did, and he said "The people I taunted into going did."

So if it hadn't been for an unschooler in that group, maybe none of them would have wanted to climb up in a truck in front of other kids, to report back down that the could NOT see that concrete block as big as many automobiles they might be driving.  It was about safety, and it's an excellently memorable idea, provided by interesting and interested people.  I was impressed to hear of it.  My kids were always jazzed by that teacher's stories and ideas.

WHY would someone NOT want to do something cool, though?
Recently at an unschooling event, there were adults who didn't participate in a stand-up game, even when I asked them twice.  My prediction is that their children won't be as likely to be those kids who jump up and say "I will try it!"  

Sandra


Rach

I think the adults didn't because it's a throw back to school where people are shamed if they stand out in any way. And that includes volunteering to do stuff because it makes you nerdy.

A really good friend of my daughter absolutely loves WWE wrestling and everything about it. I am positive he still does except some if his school friends have recently told him it's babyish and have made fun of him. Now he says he's not into it anymore and I think it's so sad he can't say what he really feels about it.

Some of her friends are older boys who love to come to our house to play with dolls and make up and face paint. The dynamic changes though when a bunch of them come over. They are a lot more aware of doing something uncool. 

When we go to the UK, we usually go often to falconries and petting zoos. My daughter puts her hand up and asks to participate a lot and she has done from a very early age. She is interested and excited to go and she does not have that feeling that she needs to hold back or be embarrassed at her interest of if she doesn't know anything.  

Another factor for the school children might be a fear of adults so the children might not be able to talk with them in a natural way. I've again noticed this with some oft daughter's friends. The only adults in their life are figures if authority and they are just not sure how to communicate with them. 

Rachel

On 26 Apr 2014, at 04:27, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

-=- The teachers always comment on the knowledge and even more so the enthusiasm and interest level that my kids show. -=-

Yes.  This happens, when parents can really embrace unschooling and enable it to really flow in their children's lives.

I have seen it not happen, in some families.  I have seen it happen in many, many more.  Perhaps others here would like to say what they think the difference is, but for me I think it's attitude.  A family with a light, happy attitude gives children a chance to be joyful and effervescent—to rise up smiling, even in mangrove-swamp mud. :-)   Even, for my oldest, to climb up into the cab of a big semi in a vacant lot, in a drivers's education class, to see whether he could see, in the rearview mirror, a big  concrete block that the truck driver said was as big as a volkswagen.

That story is a good one.  

A driver's ed teachers all my kids loved and quoted and told stories about had a truck-driving friend.  The friend, just as a favor to the teacher, brought his big rig and parked it in the vacant lot near the driver's ed school.

I just called Kirby to ask whether the trailer was still on the truck.  He said yes.  When they got there the truck was already parked, in this carefully chosen position, so the concrete block (which Kirby has just said was about 10x10 feet, not as tall as he was, and had some sort of cooling structure on it—not dumped there, but made there for some reason).

So the teacher asked for a volunteer to get up in the cab to look in the mirrors.  Kirby jumped up and did it.   That was the report I had, nearly ten years ago.  Most of the kids there were 15, 16,  Kirby was early 17, I think; he stalled about getting a license because he was really busy with a job and karate a bunch of hobbies and didn't have time to take a solid week to enroll in this driver's ed intensive school where they all went, in turn.

I asked Kirby today whether other kids went in after he did, and he said "The people I taunted into going did."

So if it hadn't been for an unschooler in that group, maybe none of them would have wanted to climb up in a truck in front of other kids, to report back down that the could NOT see that concrete block as big as many automobiles they might be driving.  It was about safety, and it's an excellently memorable idea, provided by interesting and interested people.  I was impressed to hear of it.  My kids were always jazzed by that teacher's stories and ideas.

WHY would someone NOT want to do something cool, though?
Recently at an unschooling event, there were adults who didn't participate in a stand-up game, even when I asked them twice.  My prediction is that their children won't be as likely to be those kids who jump up and say "I will try it!"  

Sandra


chris ester

I have a number of friends and acquaintances who generally do not like children.  So far, all of them have loved my kids through all of their ages and stages.  

One friend said that she likes how my children listen to what people say and can actually have intelligent conversations, ask intelligent questions, and are generally helpful and glad to pitch in to whatever work is trying to be accomplished.  This particular friend is the farmer at our local organic CSA (community supported agriculture) farm where we volunteered.

Radically unschooled children have a lifetime of conversations with lots of people of all ages.  They are used to being included and respected as a contributing member of the family/group.  They have not been "ordered" or pressured into "cooperating" with whatever is happening, so when they participate they participate fully and joyfully.  Of course, when they don't want to join in, their decision is respected as well.  
chris


On Sat, Apr 26, 2014 at 2:42 AM, Rach <rachk2000@...> wrote:
 

I think the adults didn't because it's a throw back to school where people are shamed if they stand out in any way. And that includes volunteering to do stuff because it makes you nerdy.

A really good friend of my daughter absolutely loves WWE wrestling and everything about it. I am positive he still does except some if his school friends have recently told him it's babyish and have made fun of him. Now he says he's not into it anymore and I think it's so sad he can't say what he really feels about it.

Some of her friends are older boys who love to come to our house to play with dolls and make up and face paint. The dynamic changes though when a bunch of them come over. They are a lot more aware of doing something uncool. 

When we go to the UK, we usually go often to falconries and petting zoos. My daughter puts her hand up and asks to participate a lot and she has done from a very early age. She is interested and excited to go and she does not have that feeling that she needs to hold back or be embarrassed at her interest of if she doesn't know anything.  

Another factor for the school children might be a fear of adults so the children might not be able to talk with them in a natural way. I've again noticed this with some oft daughter's friends. The only adults in their life are figures if authority and they are just not sure how to communicate with them. 

Rachel

On 26 Apr 2014, at 04:27, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

-=- The teachers always comment on the knowledge and even more so the enthusiasm and interest level that my kids show. -=-

Yes.  This happens, when parents can really embrace unschooling and enable it to really flow in their children's lives.

I have seen it not happen, in some families.  I have seen it happen in many, many more.  Perhaps others here would like to say what they think the difference is, but for me I think it's attitude.  A family with a light, happy attitude gives children a chance to be joyful and effervescent—to rise up smiling, even in mangrove-swamp mud. :-)   Even, for my oldest, to climb up into the cab of a big semi in a vacant lot, in a drivers's education class, to see whether he could see, in the rearview mirror, a big  concrete block that the truck driver said was as big as a volkswagen.

That story is a good one.  

A driver's ed teachers all my kids loved and quoted and told stories about had a truck-driving friend.  The friend, just as a favor to the teacher, brought his big rig and parked it in the vacant lot near the driver's ed school.

I just called Kirby to ask whether the trailer was still on the truck.  He said yes.  When they got there the truck was already parked, in this carefully chosen position, so the concrete block (which Kirby has just said was about 10x10 feet, not as tall as he was, and had some sort of cooling structure on it—not dumped there, but made there for some reason).

So the teacher asked for a volunteer to get up in the cab to look in the mirrors.  Kirby jumped up and did it.   That was the report I had, nearly ten years ago.  Most of the kids there were 15, 16,  Kirby was early 17, I think; he stalled about getting a license because he was really busy with a job and karate a bunch of hobbies and didn't have time to take a solid week to enroll in this driver's ed intensive school where they all went, in turn.

I asked Kirby today whether other kids went in after he did, and he said "The people I taunted into going did."

So if it hadn't been for an unschooler in that group, maybe none of them would have wanted to climb up in a truck in front of other kids, to report back down that the could NOT see that concrete block as big as many automobiles they might be driving.  It was about safety, and it's an excellently memorable idea, provided by interesting and interested people.  I was impressed to hear of it.  My kids were always jazzed by that teacher's stories and ideas.

WHY would someone NOT want to do something cool, though?
Recently at an unschooling event, there were adults who didn't participate in a stand-up game, even when I asked them twice.  My prediction is that their children won't be as likely to be those kids who jump up and say "I will try it!"  

Sandra



<Sandra@...>

I've seen this with a couple of my friends, too, who are accustomed to ignoring other people's children, or avoiding children.  When I say it's about unschooling, they say no, it's genetics.  That our kids are like us, and they like us.

Maybe there is a little bit of genetics, but our children are like us *even while they're children."  Children in school can tend to be more like other children in school than like their parents, maybe until they grow up and shake off some of the flock/herd behaviors.

Some kids in school are more immune to pressure from other kids to conform.  That might be genetic, too, in those cases. :-)  I don't know.  It does seem to me, though, that unschooled teens are better at being whole and present and calm.  They can make eye contact and smile at adults and shake hands.   As a group, I think, they are MUCH more likely to behave that way than teens who have been in school for ten or twelves years and are just tired of adults being guards, keepers, critics, wardens.

Sandra

Sherry Franklin

And what about adopted children who are unschooled?  Can't be genetics.  

El martes, 29 de abril de 2014, <Sandra@...> escribió:
 

I've seen this with a couple of my friends, too, who are accustomed to ignoring other people's children, or avoiding children.  When I say it's about unschooling, they say no, it's genetics.  That our kids are like us, and they like us.


Maybe there is a little bit of genetics, but our children are like us *even while they're children."  Children in school can tend to be more like other children in school than like their parents, maybe until they grow up and shake off some of the flock/herd behaviors.

Some kids in school are more immune to pressure from other kids to conform.  That might be genetic, too, in those cases. :-)  I don't know.  It does seem to me, though, that unschooled teens are better at being whole and present and calm.  They can make eye contact and smile at adults and shake hands.   As a group, I think, they are MUCH more likely to behave that way than teens who have been in school for ten or twelves years and are just tired of adults being guards, keepers, critics, wardens.

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

-=-And what about adopted children who are unschooled?  Can't be genetics.  -=-

Adopted children have genetics :-)

Some are nicer than the adoptive parents.  Some are artists, musicians, cooks, athletes,  when their parents are not.

Sandra

chris ester

Yes, but when they are "whole and calm and present" like their parents, it isn't because of the parents' genetics.  

Genetics can be a very mixed bag.... the same trait that will make a person creative and expressive can also contribute to making a person explosive and angry.  I think that unschooling parents are more present to partner with their child and model behavior that is peaceful and joyful, but still accepting of the acuteness of the emotions.  

I used to joke that if I didn't want "dramatic children" I would have needed to adopted and then hired a nanny.....   We tend to experience life very keenly and are very reactive.  I wasn't surprised when I had sensitive babies who grew up into sensitive children.  

Many times, I have said "Our feelings are our feelings, and no one can tell you that they are right or wrong.... but the way you express yourself can make other people feel either good or bad".    The trick was saying it at the right time in the calm and peaceful voice that was HARD for me.... but having kids when I was a tad older helped.

I also think that not spending hours a day immersed in the stress laden environment of a school was certainly better for peaceful living and growing.  My children had choices about when and where and who they spent their days with.  
chris


On Tue, Apr 29, 2014 at 10:11 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
 

-=-And what about adopted children who are unschooled?  Can't be genetics.  -=-


Adopted children have genetics :-)

Some are nicer than the adoptive parents.  Some are artists, musicians, cooks, athletes,  when their parents are not.

Sandra


Sherry Franklin

Right, but I was responding to the sentence saying that friends claimed that they liked your children because they liked you.  Genetics.  

My two children are adopted and now unschooled.  I get a lot of feedback from adults on my son who they say is very friendly and sociable and they find it refreshing.  My daughter is very shy and rarely responds to adults ever.   So, I think it is part unschooling, part genetics and part personality.

Sherry


El martes, 29 de abril de 2014, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> escribió:
 

-=-And what about adopted children who are unschooled?  Can't be genetics.  -=-


Adopted children have genetics :-)

Some are nicer than the adoptive parents.  Some are artists, musicians, cooks, athletes,  when their parents are not.

Sandra