Stumped
<janinetbolton@...>
Hello everyone!
I have been watching these threads for a while now and researching life theories. I have one question. How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life? That’s it. When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, the asked me that question.. would love to know how to respond.Thanks Guys!!!
Janie
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<<<<<How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life?>>>>>>>>
Can you expand your question a bit?
I am not really getting what your question is.
What is that each want to attain?
What do you mean be productive?
Predictable about what ?
Perseverance related to what?
Alex Polikows
I am not really getting what your question is.
What is that each want to attain?
What do you mean be productive?
Predictable about what ?
Perseverance related to what?
Alex Polikows
Sandra Dodd
-=-I have been watching these threads for a while now and researching life theories. -=-
"Life theories" as in different ways to live? Or explanations for human behavior? I've never heard the term "life theories," so right there, I'm not sure what you're envisioning.
-=-How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain ...-=-
It depends what you're hoping to attain. If what you want is what unschoolers are describing they have found after years of unschooling, then moving more toward unschooling would make sense. If you don't want that, then moving the other direction would be better.
You move from one thing to another not by researching theories, but by living in the moment and making choices that move you nearer to what you want and further away from what you don't want.
-=-How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life?-=-
You seem to be suggesting (though you probably didn't mean to) that people here are not productive, predictable or perserverant.
And you don't "do" a philosophy. You live according to your ideas and ideals, to your beliefs and (eventually) convictions.
-=- When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, the asked me that question..-=-
Don't do anything you don't understand.
Read here:
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
and
http://sandradodd.com/readalittle
If you aren't able to explain what you're doing, it's too soon to do it. :-) BUT it's not too soon to try it. You could say "We're going to try it for now."
But there's a collection of people's short answers here:
http://sandradodd.com/school/say.html
http://sandradodd.com/response
and the second one has quite a few links to dealing with relatives.
Sandra
"Life theories" as in different ways to live? Or explanations for human behavior? I've never heard the term "life theories," so right there, I'm not sure what you're envisioning.
-=-How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain ...-=-
It depends what you're hoping to attain. If what you want is what unschoolers are describing they have found after years of unschooling, then moving more toward unschooling would make sense. If you don't want that, then moving the other direction would be better.
You move from one thing to another not by researching theories, but by living in the moment and making choices that move you nearer to what you want and further away from what you don't want.
-=-How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life?-=-
You seem to be suggesting (though you probably didn't mean to) that people here are not productive, predictable or perserverant.
And you don't "do" a philosophy. You live according to your ideas and ideals, to your beliefs and (eventually) convictions.
-=- When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, the asked me that question..-=-
Don't do anything you don't understand.
Read here:
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
and
http://sandradodd.com/readalittle
If you aren't able to explain what you're doing, it's too soon to do it. :-) BUT it's not too soon to try it. You could say "We're going to try it for now."
But there's a collection of people's short answers here:
http://sandradodd.com/school/say.html
http://sandradodd.com/response
and the second one has quite a few links to dealing with relatives.
Sandra
Clare Kirkpatrick
"When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, "
This sentence makes me think that you don't really understand unschooling yet. It sounds like you're talking about relocating or having another baby. Unschooling isn't like that. It's not one big decision. It's a series of many, many small decisions each one bringing you closer to a more joyful life with your children and, at the same time, each one helping to increase your understanding of unschooling.
Also, there's no need to tell everyone about it, especially if you don't understand it well enough to explain. Just do it. Just work slowly and gradually on picking apart fears, saying 'why not yes?' more often.
"How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance?"
I don't understand this question. You say you've been reading this list for a while and yet you're worried about these things? I don't necessarily want to be predictable - not sure why that's a positive attribute - but my kids often are. I try not to focus on that, though, as I really believe labelling them as 'the one who will respond in such and such a way' is harmful and restrictive.
As for productive and able to persevere, when my kids really want to do something, they are hugely productive and eminently capable of persevering with it. I cannot see how unschooling would prevent that. If anything, surely it makes those things easier to do/be?
Sent from Samsung Mobile
<kgharriman1@...>
Are you interpreting unschooling to mean that if we don't make the children do stuff then they are not going to develop perseverance or be productive?
Not sure what is meant by predictable in your question.
Stacey Valnes
Because you will be free to make choices, but the predictable may be a bit boring.
signature
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of janinetbolton@...
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2014 7:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Stumped
Hello everyone!
I have been watching these threads for a while now and researching life theories. I have one question. How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life? That’s it. When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, the asked me that question.. would love to know how to respond.Thanks Guys!!!
Janie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
signature
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of janinetbolton@...
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2014 7:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Stumped
Hello everyone!
I have been watching these threads for a while now and researching life theories. I have one question. How can my family and I be able to do what we are hoping to each attain and still be productive, predictable, and have perseverance while doing this philosophy of life? That’s it. When I told my friends about what we are going to be doing, the asked me that question.. would love to know how to respond.Thanks Guys!!!
Janie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
It's predictable that if children are limited and thwarted, they will cry and be unhappy, until they give up and become meaner or colder, or they give up on trying to trust or depend on their parents. That sort of predictability is probably not what the original questioner had in mind. :-)
Sandra
Sandra
CASS KOTRBA
-=-When I told my friends about what we are going to be
doing, the asked me that question.. would love to know how to
respond.-=-
When you announce to people "hey - we're
doing something different over here" it often makes them feel
defensive. Kinda like saying "hey- we're doing something better than what
you're doing". The tendency will be for them to want to defend what they
are doing and punch holes in your new idea. Share ideas but don't separate
yourselves with overarching statements like "we're trying out a new
lifestyle". As someone else suggested, start making changes
internally and living them. I think back to how I first explained
unschooling to a friend and I wish I could take those words back. My
understanding is continually deepening and changing.
-Cass
Joyce Fetteroll
On Apr 9, 2014, at 8:38 AM, CASS KOTRBA <caskot@...> wrote:
The purpose of telling people what you're doing can either be informational or to get feedback on the idea.
If it's informational, but weird, people *will* question it. It's natural to react to weird ideas with "It doesn't sound like you've fully thought this through. What about ...?"
And if it's relatives, they'll have an emotional investment in you not screwing up. Not to mention that controllers gotta control ;-)
The more confident you can express the idea, the more you're prepared to deflect questions with reassuring confidence that you've got a handle on things, the less they'll press.
But if it's to get feedback and the idea is weird, again the less confident, the more aggressive they'll be in fixing what's wrong with your head that you could think this weird thing is a good idea.
Bottom line is, if you want to do something weird, either be confident or find a way to frame the idea in a way that others will understand so it won't make them worry.
Way better to talk to people who are doing it well and confidently. Worries that seem to make sense from the outside often don't from the inside. But it takes understanding the inside better to understand why the questions don't make sense.
One good example is that it seems perfectly reasonable for fundamentalist Christians to ask atheists how they can be good if they don't believe in God. But the atheist operates on a totally different mindset. They're good for reasons that have nothing to do with a God watching them. So the question is likely to be reacted to with WTF?!? than something the fundamentalist Christian can understand. ;-)
A teacher's reasonable question is "How can children learn to read without instruction?" If all you know is instruction, resistance of instruction, poor instruction the question makes sense. It doesn't make sense to those who know from experience learning to read happens perfectly fine without instruction. "They just do," won't make sense from the mindset of a teacher.
Reasonable conventional parent questions are, "How can children learn math without instruction and practice?" "How can kids learn right from wrong without punishment?" "How can you know how bad sugar [TV, video games, non-organic foods ...] is and let your kids have that?"
Since the "radical-idea" people are living a life that doesn't have the *real* cause that creates the effect that's feared, the questions don't even make sense.
Humans *appear* to be naturally weak and then further damaged by living life. Unless parents work diligently to counter act what seems like inherent weaknesses in humans kids will turn out rude, lazy, selfish and uneducated.
But once you step back from *that* life you can more clearly see that all the supposed inherent weaknesses of humans aren't inherent at all. The problems are being caused by very common factors in that life. When those factors are eliminated, the weaknesses just don't happen! And the questions don't make sense.
Joyce
> The tendency will be for them to want to defend what they are doing and punch holes in your new idea.They'll do that if they feel confident they can attack.
The purpose of telling people what you're doing can either be informational or to get feedback on the idea.
If it's informational, but weird, people *will* question it. It's natural to react to weird ideas with "It doesn't sound like you've fully thought this through. What about ...?"
And if it's relatives, they'll have an emotional investment in you not screwing up. Not to mention that controllers gotta control ;-)
The more confident you can express the idea, the more you're prepared to deflect questions with reassuring confidence that you've got a handle on things, the less they'll press.
But if it's to get feedback and the idea is weird, again the less confident, the more aggressive they'll be in fixing what's wrong with your head that you could think this weird thing is a good idea.
Bottom line is, if you want to do something weird, either be confident or find a way to frame the idea in a way that others will understand so it won't make them worry.
Way better to talk to people who are doing it well and confidently. Worries that seem to make sense from the outside often don't from the inside. But it takes understanding the inside better to understand why the questions don't make sense.
One good example is that it seems perfectly reasonable for fundamentalist Christians to ask atheists how they can be good if they don't believe in God. But the atheist operates on a totally different mindset. They're good for reasons that have nothing to do with a God watching them. So the question is likely to be reacted to with WTF?!? than something the fundamentalist Christian can understand. ;-)
A teacher's reasonable question is "How can children learn to read without instruction?" If all you know is instruction, resistance of instruction, poor instruction the question makes sense. It doesn't make sense to those who know from experience learning to read happens perfectly fine without instruction. "They just do," won't make sense from the mindset of a teacher.
Reasonable conventional parent questions are, "How can children learn math without instruction and practice?" "How can kids learn right from wrong without punishment?" "How can you know how bad sugar [TV, video games, non-organic foods ...] is and let your kids have that?"
Since the "radical-idea" people are living a life that doesn't have the *real* cause that creates the effect that's feared, the questions don't even make sense.
Humans *appear* to be naturally weak and then further damaged by living life. Unless parents work diligently to counter act what seems like inherent weaknesses in humans kids will turn out rude, lazy, selfish and uneducated.
But once you step back from *that* life you can more clearly see that all the supposed inherent weaknesses of humans aren't inherent at all. The problems are being caused by very common factors in that life. When those factors are eliminated, the weaknesses just don't happen! And the questions don't make sense.
Joyce