<mmarr@...>

Back in January, I posted about my husband who'd been in a head on collision with a drunk driver. At that point, he'd been home off his feet for a couple of weeks and we were all getting frazzled. I just reread that original message and I can't believe how much calmer I am now compared to when I wrote it. Looking at the current situation, I feel anything but calm!  What we were originally told might be a slightly chipped bone has turned out to be two severed tendons and crushed bone that's going to require extensive surgery, and we're still waiting for a second MRI on his knee. Best case scenario at this point is going to be eight weeks of non weight bearing (not sure how that's supposed to be worded) and then months of recovery and physical therapy before he's able to go back to work.  He's back at work for the past two months, trying to deal with increasing pain, so a solution that will lead to recovery is a wonderful thing...or will be when we get through this part to the other side. 

Any suggestions for quietly strewing for a bedridden husband?  He's not good at finding ways to entertain himself around the house.  I got some wonderful suggestions in response to my last plea for help, so I'm asking again now that we know what the new situation is.  Hubby is into camping and beekeeping and hiking and working on his old trucks....all things that he won't be able to do for months. And we're wondering if long desert hikes are going to be a thing of the past, which adds more stress for him. (I can take or leave the hiking.)

Hubby reads, but he's choosy about what he reads. (Any suggestions along the lines of Robert Jordan or Michael Crighton would be appreciated!)  I know from my own month of total bedrest with my last pregnancy that no matter how much you might love books and television, there's only so much you can read and watch.  He has no interest in crossword puzzles or anything like that, although I'm planning on showing him Candy Crush and Bubble Witch Saga once he gets really bored.

One of the best suggestions I got last time was when Karen asked if he responded to smells, which led to me deciding to bake bread, which led to Hubby getting up and making the bread himself. I wouldn't have thought of bread without her mentioning smells. 

I'm  planning on relocating one of the bird feeders outside the bedroom window, looking up some science experiments the boys might be able to ask him to supervise, (Suggestions for ones that are messy enough to be fun but don't require open flames and flying tea bags would be welcome!) 

Thanks to all of Sandra's writing about abundance, I've already got a television set up in the boy's room for their game systems, and we've found extra handheld systems at a couple of garage sales. So we're more spread out through the house than we were a few months ago.  We've all settled into a new, better, more comfortable routine since Hubby was stuck home in bed right after the accident, but I'm trying to figure out how to make this next round of Daddy's-home-in-bed as sparkly and peaceful as possible. 

I'm sure that there are more ideas that I'm missing. Any suggestions? 

Michelle 

Sandra Dodd

-=-I just reread that original message and I can't believe how much calmer I am now compared to when I wrote it.-=-

Good!

-=-Looking at the current situation, I feel anything but calm! -=-

But you have experience at being calmer, which won't hurt.  

Does he have an iPad or a laptop?  

Would he want to learn to paint or draw (paper/canvas/iPad?)  Would he want to do truck-themed art?  Or nature art?  Maybe from photos?
What if he went onto truck-repair discussions and helped advise people who have questions about repair.

-=-He has no interest in crossword puzzles or anything like that, although I'm planning on showing him Candy Crush and Bubble Witch Saga once he gets really bored.
-=-

There are two games linked here that my husband and Joyce's husband like:  http://sandradodd.com/cairns (righhand side)

Could you all eat with him some meals? 

Sandra

K Pennell

Might he enjoy Minecraft? That's awfully fun on creative mode. Just lots of cool building and creating. We all love it. You can download it for PS3 or xbox 360, and it's on the computer.


From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, March 24, 2014 4:25 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Still Injured Spouse



-=-I just reread that original message and I can't believe how much calmer I am now compared to when I wrote it.-=-

Good!

-=-Looking at the current situation, I feel anything but calm! -=-

But you have experience at being calmer, which won't hurt.  

Does he have an iPad or a laptop?  

Would he want to learn to paint or draw (paper/canvas/iPad?)  Would he want to do truck-themed art?  Or nature art?  Maybe from photos?
What if he went onto truck-repair discussions and helped advise people who have questions about repair.

-=-He has no interest in crossword puzzles or anything like that, although I'm planning on showing him Candy Crush and Bubble Witch Saga once he gets really bored.
-=-

There are two games linked here that my husband and Joyce's husband like:  http://sandradodd.com/cairns (righhand side)

Could you all eat with him some meals? 

Sandra





<karen@...>

Is he into woodwork at all? And how about whittling, or wood burning art (I know it has a name, but can't think of it right now), or building stuff with matchsticks or popsicle sticks?

chris ester

On Sun, Mar 23, 2014 at 5:42 PM, <mmarr@...> wrote:
 

Any suggestions for quietly strewing for a bedridden husband?  He's not good at finding ways to entertain himself around the house. 


Michelle 

Since he sounds as though he is a hands on person...
How about a table top building project?  There are small engine kits (like trains and table top steam driven power plants) that he might enjoy building.  There are also small gas powered remote control cars that can be bought in kit form and played with and that need repair often because you use them.  There are also non-powered things that you can get the plans for and start from true scratch like a small trebuchet.  

There are also the traditional ship building in a bottle.  

Also, for those times that he is just antsy.. how about some meditation tapes or almost any book by Jon Kabat-zin.  His meditation lessons are for things like moving meditations, which calmed and relaxed me just by reading them.  Barring these, does he like to listen to music?  

I also wanted to share that my son who found reading physically hard for a long time has found that a kindle reader is much easier to read.  Other people have reported the same thing- so maybe he will read more in a different medium.
chris

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

A tablet?
he could watch movies, play game, puzzles, surf the net, connect with friends, Skype, read books, listen to audio books, read the news,  watch funny videos and so much more just with one tablet! ( if there are no laptops avaialble!)

Best of all it only costs around $100 American dollars for a decent one. It does not need to be an expensive Ipad!

What about some miniatures/model cars/airplanes or others to put together?

http://www.ehobbies.com/models-vehicle-glue-kits.html

Trains  to play like this:

 http://www.hobbylinc.com/model_trains

or even some

remote control cars/helicopters/drones

http://www.xheli.com/?gclid=CK6C0pyzq70CFYhaMgodvF0AHg

All fun things he can do in bed!


Alex Polikowsky
 
 

<semajrak@...>

>>>>Any suggestions for quietly strewing for a bedridden husband?<<<<<

Wood burning came to mind.  This box struck me as a lovely example (if you haven't seen wood burning work):  http://www.behance.net/gallery/TOMOT-Woodburning-works/8008187  It's something he could do sitting at a table, on just about any wooden surface. Here are some doorknobs:  http://tr.pinterest.com/pin/64950419598272519/  He could bring some whimsy to your home if he liked that idea.  

>>>>>Suggestions for ones that are messy enough to be fun but don't require open flames and flying tea bags would be welcome!<<<<<

This site is my favourite go-to for fun experiment ideas with things you can find around the home or get relatively easily:  https://www.youtube.com/user/SteveSpanglerScience  Maybe watching some extreme experiments would be a fun activity for the boys and their dad to do together.  Something like Mythbusters, or there's a new one coming on tonight called "None of the Above".  It's on the National Geographic Channel.  It looks like it will be a blast.  ;-)  http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/none-of-the-above/episodes/smash-and-grab/

>>>>>Hubby reads, but he's choosy about what he reads<<<<<

My husband enjoyed a couple books that might be interesting for your husband as well.  One is called Worst Jobs in History.  They are quick little historical stories that are funny and fascinating.  Here's a link for reference:  http://www.amazon.com/Worst-Jobs-History-Tony-Robinson/dp/0330438573/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1395672679&sr=8-2&keywords=worst+jobs+in+history  
He also like a book called A Short History of Nearly Everything.  It was given to him by another male friend of ours who really enjoyed it.  Here's another link for reference:  http://www.amazon.com/A-Short-History-Nearly-Everything/dp/076790818X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1395672765&sr=8-3&keywords=bill+bryson

I like to pick up picture books in the bargain section of our book store.  My husband and son both love to find them.  I pick up anything that might be something we wouldn't typically see.  A recent hit was a book on egg and nest patterns.  Very pretty.  Another on the interesting shapes found when looking through a microscope grains of sand from different beaches around the world.  Another on photographs of landscapes from an airplane.  Nature's Chaos is one of my husband's favourites.  Beautiful Evidence is another.  Going to the library and checking out a couple oversized picture books and leaving them close to where your husband will be relaxing might be fun for him.

Most importantly, in my opinion, is to aim to keep the atmosphere in the home light and happy and understanding.  Your husband might get a bit bored from time to time.  He might get grouchy.  Approach it thoughtfully.  Listen if he needs an ear.  Play some music that he likes.  Give him a hug if he welcomes that.  You aim for joy in your day.  That in itself can be very contagious, if not even healing.

Karen.



<mmarr@...>

Thank you all so much! You've sparked a bunch of ideas. 

We actually bought one of those wood burning tools at an estate sale a couple of summers ago and completely forgot about it...the idea of getting that out led to my son's carving tools and how he wants to do something like a linked chain, but can't figure it out -- maybe he and his dad can do it together while he's home. (Or not. It's just one possibility of many.) I've got the series None of the Above, which I hadn't heard of yet, scheduled to record on the DVR tonight. If I can find some new-to-us series on Netflix for him to enjoy, that could fill a lot of hours. We do have a laptop and Kindle Fire, and I think there might be an extra DVD player in the attic that I could hook up to the television in the bedroom.  There are some remote control helicopters in a closet somewhere that only got used once or twice...and the boys got a little air hockey table for Christmas that sits on a tabletop... And maybe I can come up with a chaise lounge or something that he can get himself into to do of his recuperating out in the sunshine...

Michelle 

Shira Rocklin

the games request reminded me about some games that just get your adrenaline going and you feel like you've been moving (when you haven't).  Spit comes to mind.  Its a fast card game.  Bananagrams is also a fast game.  He might enjoy spurts of this time, to break up the feeling of being stationary.  I could only think of those two, but there must be more. 

Shira

chris ester

>>>>>On Mon, Mar 24, 2014 at 2:36 PM, <mmarr@...> wrote:
 
 
We actually bought one of those wood burning tools at an estate sale a couple of summers ago and completely forgot about it...the idea of getting that out led to my son's carving tools and how he wants to do something like a linked chain, but can't figure it out -- 
Michelle 
<<<<<

My daughter and son have learned a lot of stuff from youtube.  You may be able to find instructions on some youtube channel or other.  I have learned a lot of crochet from a channel called crochet geek.   
chris


<skyjeep@...>

Not sure your husband sounds like the type, but learning something on edx.org, udemy.com or elsewhere may be a productive use of time. 

Regards
Richard

Sandra Dodd

-=- but learning something on edx.org, udemy.com or elsewhere may be a productive use of time. -=-

Resting comfortably is a productive use of time when someone has a serious injury.
Being with children peacefully is a productive use of time when someone is unschooling.

"Productive" might not be the best goal, when there are other family members to consider.  The idea of being "productive" can run counter to unschooling.


What is being "produced" isn't often going to show for a long time.

Sandra

Bernadette Lynn

A couple of years ago my husband ruptured his achilles tendon, which led to him spending months bedridden. He was supposed to keep his ankle higher than his heart, which was very hard.

I bought him an electric riser-recliner on ebay which made a huge difference to him, he could get up by himself when he needed to toilet where before he needed my help. We had it in the sitting room so he could be with us during the day instead of stuck on his own in a bedroom, he also had better internet access there and the tv and xbox. They often come up for sale as people buy them for elderly relatives who then move into care homes.

We also installed hand rails and a toilet frame, which seemed like an extravagance in a way for only a few weeks but they made such a huge difference to his quality of life they were really worth it.


Bernadette.