Going to School
Mary Hickman
Hello,
I like the talk of a toxic waste dump. Yes, there are some choices a Parent
needs to make. When I talked with Ashley about this she mentioned several
reasons. She thinks she can make more friends. She even stated she would get
to know people better. She says she can do homework and looks forward to
waking up early all by herself. She says she wants to try for 1 year. She
wants to be able to ride her bike home all by herself. Last year she also
asked 2 weeks before school started. I said I couldn't switch gears that
fast. I took her to the Home=Ed Conference in Sac. She had a blast and saw
lots of kids and families having fun together. It helped I think normalize
what our family is doing.
Tim feels it's ok to try school. We do have "great" schools here in Davis,
lucky us. I'm feeling she wants what her favorite friends have in the court.
They all go off together every morning and come home together every
afternoon. All year we have all been trying to give Ashley what she wants.
She loves organized classes. Here is her list of activities. She is a
brownie, belongs to 4-H, swims now on the swim team, takes gym classes, and
performs musicals (3 a year). If she could, she would also want to take a
clay class, and probably 5 other cool things in our catalogue. We as a
family are meeting a piano teacher today. Ashley and Riley both asked for
this. I have both homeschooled kids and school kids over a lot for Ashley.
Usually this causes lots of conflict for Riley. Exclusion type play. I
arrange play dates for her. She has weekday sleepovers with her homeschooled
friends. Lately she has not really been into some of the girls she normally
plays with.
She has had a tough year, cries alot, is fussy. I do think she wants change
of some sort. Something that is hers alone. I'm thinking a pet might be
good. I have tried to help her with her fussiness, lots of hugs, quality
time, loving comments, baby in my arms. The more you give the more she
wants. She is a big taker too. Doesn't give back much to the family. Moans
and wails for any task asked. Always has an excuse for why she can't, set
the table, clear her dish, put her skates away...
She did say when she is at school I can be with Riley. She does acknowledge
her dislike for him and want to be away from him. She really is cold almost
at every interaction they have. Riley is getting much better about staying
out of her space. He finally sees he only gets hurt. I'm still wary of
school. As one friend mentioned it may create a larger divide that has
already been started. Yet I'm feeling this is really important to her. I
also am feeling like wow, I blew it and now she doesn't like to be home. I
can not toy too much with that thought because it is too depressing.
Summer may help out. Ashley will swim 5 days a week. She can walk a block to
the pool herself. She can have her schooled friends play more. If we are
going to start her in the fall, though, I need to think about paperwork and
securing her a spot in the every overcrowded schools. I'm wondering if I
start all this, letting her get ready to go to school, she will then decide
she really doesn't want to go. I did tell her if she went and decided she
did not like it she can stop. Ahhhhh. She told me just a few weeks ago how
much she loved being home.
Mary
_________________________________________________________________
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I like the talk of a toxic waste dump. Yes, there are some choices a Parent
needs to make. When I talked with Ashley about this she mentioned several
reasons. She thinks she can make more friends. She even stated she would get
to know people better. She says she can do homework and looks forward to
waking up early all by herself. She says she wants to try for 1 year. She
wants to be able to ride her bike home all by herself. Last year she also
asked 2 weeks before school started. I said I couldn't switch gears that
fast. I took her to the Home=Ed Conference in Sac. She had a blast and saw
lots of kids and families having fun together. It helped I think normalize
what our family is doing.
Tim feels it's ok to try school. We do have "great" schools here in Davis,
lucky us. I'm feeling she wants what her favorite friends have in the court.
They all go off together every morning and come home together every
afternoon. All year we have all been trying to give Ashley what she wants.
She loves organized classes. Here is her list of activities. She is a
brownie, belongs to 4-H, swims now on the swim team, takes gym classes, and
performs musicals (3 a year). If she could, she would also want to take a
clay class, and probably 5 other cool things in our catalogue. We as a
family are meeting a piano teacher today. Ashley and Riley both asked for
this. I have both homeschooled kids and school kids over a lot for Ashley.
Usually this causes lots of conflict for Riley. Exclusion type play. I
arrange play dates for her. She has weekday sleepovers with her homeschooled
friends. Lately she has not really been into some of the girls she normally
plays with.
She has had a tough year, cries alot, is fussy. I do think she wants change
of some sort. Something that is hers alone. I'm thinking a pet might be
good. I have tried to help her with her fussiness, lots of hugs, quality
time, loving comments, baby in my arms. The more you give the more she
wants. She is a big taker too. Doesn't give back much to the family. Moans
and wails for any task asked. Always has an excuse for why she can't, set
the table, clear her dish, put her skates away...
She did say when she is at school I can be with Riley. She does acknowledge
her dislike for him and want to be away from him. She really is cold almost
at every interaction they have. Riley is getting much better about staying
out of her space. He finally sees he only gets hurt. I'm still wary of
school. As one friend mentioned it may create a larger divide that has
already been started. Yet I'm feeling this is really important to her. I
also am feeling like wow, I blew it and now she doesn't like to be home. I
can not toy too much with that thought because it is too depressing.
Summer may help out. Ashley will swim 5 days a week. She can walk a block to
the pool herself. She can have her schooled friends play more. If we are
going to start her in the fall, though, I need to think about paperwork and
securing her a spot in the every overcrowded schools. I'm wondering if I
start all this, letting her get ready to go to school, she will then decide
she really doesn't want to go. I did tell her if she went and decided she
did not like it she can stop. Ahhhhh. She told me just a few weeks ago how
much she loved being home.
Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.
Robin Eckert
What I see her saying is ,"Go ahead and send me to school ,I know you want to be with Riley more then me."
Ok now thats what I get from your post..She wants to see if you love her more than Riley and of course you love them the same.But if you send her to school I feel the message she is getting is "it's true she really doesn't want me around,all she wants is Riley around."
Now the reason I say this is because this is what happened to us with my son,he said the same thing your daughter did we sent him to school,and my friends start telling me how he is telling them all I want to do is be with Kara and Daniel,and I really don't love him.
Now I feel that his reasoning to got to school was to see if I really wanted him around .Him being the oldest Im sure he felt like "mommy is to busy for me now ,Im sure I just need to go back to school."
I bet all she wants is for you to tell her ,how much you want her home with you.And remember she may even fight you on it..Just remember Mama now's best!!!
Ok now ,I think that I would keep her home and just love her .Maybe for awhile I would get a structured curriculum if thats what she likes,and also tell her explain that you feel called to homeschool and if you go against that ,that you would be going against everything you believe in..
I don't know if your christian, but for me ,I had to tell my kids God called me to this and I have to obey his calling.
I think in the end our kids will appreciate what we did , instead of what they wanted you to do..
Follow your heart and know that if your intuition is telling you NO STOP, DONT DO IT...DONT!!!!!!
I have said what I had to say,I hope I have not offended you in any way..
Blessings Robin
Ok now thats what I get from your post..She wants to see if you love her more than Riley and of course you love them the same.But if you send her to school I feel the message she is getting is "it's true she really doesn't want me around,all she wants is Riley around."
Now the reason I say this is because this is what happened to us with my son,he said the same thing your daughter did we sent him to school,and my friends start telling me how he is telling them all I want to do is be with Kara and Daniel,and I really don't love him.
Now I feel that his reasoning to got to school was to see if I really wanted him around .Him being the oldest Im sure he felt like "mommy is to busy for me now ,Im sure I just need to go back to school."
I bet all she wants is for you to tell her ,how much you want her home with you.And remember she may even fight you on it..Just remember Mama now's best!!!
Ok now ,I think that I would keep her home and just love her .Maybe for awhile I would get a structured curriculum if thats what she likes,and also tell her explain that you feel called to homeschool and if you go against that ,that you would be going against everything you believe in..
I don't know if your christian, but for me ,I had to tell my kids God called me to this and I have to obey his calling.
I think in the end our kids will appreciate what we did , instead of what they wanted you to do..
Follow your heart and know that if your intuition is telling you NO STOP, DONT DO IT...DONT!!!!!!
I have said what I had to say,I hope I have not offended you in any way..
Blessings Robin
----- Original Message -----
From: Mary Hickman
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 29, 2002 7:48 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Going to School
Hello,
I like the talk of a toxic waste dump. Yes, there are some choices a Parent
needs to make. When I talked with Ashley about this she mentioned several
reasons. She thinks she can make more friends. She even stated she would get
to know people better. She says she can do homework and looks forward to
waking up early all by herself. She says she wants to try for 1 year. She
wants to be able to ride her bike home all by herself. Last year she also
asked 2 weeks before school started. I said I couldn't switch gears that
fast. I took her to the Home=Ed Conference in Sac. She had a blast and saw
lots of kids and families having fun together. It helped I think normalize
what our family is doing.
Tim feels it's ok to try school. We do have "great" schools here in Davis,
lucky us. I'm feeling she wants what her favorite friends have in the court.
They all go off together every morning and come home together every
afternoon. All year we have all been trying to give Ashley what she wants.
She loves organized classes. Here is her list of activities. She is a
brownie, belongs to 4-H, swims now on the swim team, takes gym classes, and
performs musicals (3 a year). If she could, she would also want to take a
clay class, and probably 5 other cool things in our catalogue. We as a
family are meeting a piano teacher today. Ashley and Riley both asked for
this. I have both homeschooled kids and school kids over a lot for Ashley.
Usually this causes lots of conflict for Riley. Exclusion type play. I
arrange play dates for her. She has weekday sleepovers with her homeschooled
friends. Lately she has not really been into some of the girls she normally
plays with.
She has had a tough year, cries alot, is fussy. I do think she wants change
of some sort. Something that is hers alone. I'm thinking a pet might be
good. I have tried to help her with her fussiness, lots of hugs, quality
time, loving comments, baby in my arms. The more you give the more she
wants. She is a big taker too. Doesn't give back much to the family. Moans
and wails for any task asked. Always has an excuse for why she can't, set
the table, clear her dish, put her skates away...
She did say when she is at school I can be with Riley. She does acknowledge
her dislike for him and want to be away from him. She really is cold almost
at every interaction they have. Riley is getting much better about staying
out of her space. He finally sees he only gets hurt. I'm still wary of
school. As one friend mentioned it may create a larger divide that has
already been started. Yet I'm feeling this is really important to her. I
also am feeling like wow, I blew it and now she doesn't like to be home. I
can not toy too much with that thought because it is too depressing.
Summer may help out. Ashley will swim 5 days a week. She can walk a block to
the pool herself. She can have her schooled friends play more. If we are
going to start her in the fall, though, I need to think about paperwork and
securing her a spot in the every overcrowded schools. I'm wondering if I
start all this, letting her get ready to go to school, she will then decide
she really doesn't want to go. I did tell her if she went and decided she
did not like it she can stop. Ahhhhh. She told me just a few weeks ago how
much she loved being home.
Mary
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Periodically thro the years two of mine have talked about going to school.
Shawn was very social, and thought being with friends there would be wonderful.
the time he was really interested in school was after we had moved from so
CA to Okinawa, and everything in his life had turned upside down.
I agreed that he could go, but suggested that he do some study to help
prepare. He asked me to help him set up a schedule of study, which I did. He
continued to follow his routine of study for months, but never did get around to
going to school. I think he got used to the move, and skateboarding went from
being almost out-lawed to being a focus for the teens on base. His life got
happier for him, without trying school.
Trevor has also suggested his desire to go to school a few times. He is the
last of the five children, and I think got to feel pretty alone and abandon by
the sibs. I would simply agree, and he never got to the point of wanting to
make it happen. When I would casually bring it up, he'd say -- "maybe next
year."
I have watched other kids from the homeschooling community go to school. It
has been for various reasons. Sometimes they stay and sometimes they don't.
In all cases the years of being at home have stood them in good use, and they
remained solid in who they were.
Life can spin our world every which way - thro death and divorce, moves and
births, I have found if I trust that my children are following their own path,
even tho it isn't the one I want them on - I can stay more centered and be
more helpful to them. This isn't easy -- for me the challenges were my daughter
staying with her father in our family home (at age 14) when we ended the
marriage, and not having contact with my oldest son because of the intense struggle
of relationship issues once he was married.
Having the children grow up stretches us as parents. Personally I liked it
better when they were little and some nursing and story reading made almost
everything wonderful again! :-)
Connie
www.homeschoolingreflections.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shawn was very social, and thought being with friends there would be wonderful.
the time he was really interested in school was after we had moved from so
CA to Okinawa, and everything in his life had turned upside down.
I agreed that he could go, but suggested that he do some study to help
prepare. He asked me to help him set up a schedule of study, which I did. He
continued to follow his routine of study for months, but never did get around to
going to school. I think he got used to the move, and skateboarding went from
being almost out-lawed to being a focus for the teens on base. His life got
happier for him, without trying school.
Trevor has also suggested his desire to go to school a few times. He is the
last of the five children, and I think got to feel pretty alone and abandon by
the sibs. I would simply agree, and he never got to the point of wanting to
make it happen. When I would casually bring it up, he'd say -- "maybe next
year."
I have watched other kids from the homeschooling community go to school. It
has been for various reasons. Sometimes they stay and sometimes they don't.
In all cases the years of being at home have stood them in good use, and they
remained solid in who they were.
Life can spin our world every which way - thro death and divorce, moves and
births, I have found if I trust that my children are following their own path,
even tho it isn't the one I want them on - I can stay more centered and be
more helpful to them. This isn't easy -- for me the challenges were my daughter
staying with her father in our family home (at age 14) when we ended the
marriage, and not having contact with my oldest son because of the intense struggle
of relationship issues once he was married.
Having the children grow up stretches us as parents. Personally I liked it
better when they were little and some nursing and story reading made almost
everything wonderful again! :-)
Connie
www.homeschoolingreflections.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]