<mmarr@...>

I'm asking this more out of curiosity than panic, wondering if anyone has experience to share. 


My youngest turned eight yesterday and he doesn't know how old he is. As far as I can remember, he's never known. We tell him, and two second later it's gone from his memory. He knows his full name, my full name and my husband's, the street city and state where we live... just not his age. 

It isn't a problem -- the only time it might be an issue is our library's policy about unattended children. Kids six and under found without a parent will be escorted to the police station next door, so even though he's more than old enough and capable enough to start picking out his own books while I'm getting our reserves, I don't feel comfortable letting him head for the children's section alone.  He's very tiny (was a premie) and most moms guess he's a lot younger than he is. I've asked the librarians what they'd do about a child who looks too young and they'd ask him his age. So we'd be fine if he didn't get that deer in the headlights look. Probably fine even if he did, since most of the librarians know us, but I don't want to borrow trouble just in case. It easy enough to keep him close to me or a sibling who can answer for him. 

It seems like every little kid I've ever been around was proud to announce their age. Mine absolutely doesn't care. Which might not be a totally bad thing, since the kids he finds to play with at the park are his size but a lot younger. I don't think my son has ever realized that he's so small for his size.

Honestly, I don't know how old I am unless I stop and do the math, so I know it's less and less important as we age.  And I've also considered the fact that he might know exactly how old he is and just enjoy messing with us. 

Michelle 

Joyce Fetteroll


On Jan 18, 2014, at 9:17 PM, mmarr@... wrote:

It seems like every little kid I've ever been around was proud to announce their age.

But would you have noticed the ones who didn't announce their age?

I can't remember how much Kat was aware of her age, but being an only might make age less important. Older kids can physically do more so younger kids would be looking forward to being older. An only wouldn't have that constant reminder from older siblings that they less skilled.

Just a thought.

Joyce

Sandra Dodd

-=-Honestly, I don't know how old I am unless I stop and do the math, so I know it's less and less important as we age.  And I've also considered the fact that he might know exactly how old he is and just enjoy messing with us. -=-

It's good ne knows your names and the address and phone number.  

maybe every morning you ciould say something, in one context or another.  "Good morning eight-year old" or "I'm 38 and you're 8!" or whatever it is.

i don't remember numbers well *at all.*  When I satay in a hotel, I don't know what the room number is for the first couple of days.  I can't remember phone numbers.     I have to do math on paper to figure out how old my kids are sometimes.   So I don't think it's fully debilitating. I don't always know my own age, when it gets away from a ten.  I'm 60, but when I'm near the edge of 62/63, I'm going to be mixed up again, and back to subtraction. :-)

What I do think is that it's good for you to figure out a song or something to help him know his age, because if someone asks him and he doesn't know, it could be something that would cause someone to question the home education.  

Depending on his personality, maybe you could just tell him that—that he needs to know his age so you don't get in trouble with social services.

Sandra

<mmarr@...>

(my first attempt at this message disappeared from my screen – I’m hoping it didn’t go through half written)

>maybe every morning you ciould say something, in one context or another.  "Good morning eight-year >old" or "I'm 38 and you're 8!" or whatever it is.


The idea crossed my mind when I was writing my email yesterday. He just had a birthday this week, so I think I’ll give it a try and see what happens.    Some family friends (not homeschoolers) had their children taken by Social Services recently (no accusation of neglect or abuse – someone felt an old folk remedy they were using was dangerous and called the police), so I don’t think I should say anything to my own kids about Social Services.  We tried to shelter the younger two from hearing about any of it, but they may know more than I think  they do. 


Michelle

Sandra Dodd

-=- I don’t think I should say anything to my own kids about Social Services.  We tried to shelter the younger two from hearing about any of it-=-

I can see sheltering kids from scary things.  I also think it would help some kids to know social services exists.  

When a child is in school, that's a level of potential help and reporting in case of neglect or abuse.  Part of what schools worry about is that homeschooled kids will be neglected (and it happens) or abused (and honestly, I don't know of abuse, but of murder, a couple of stories from some years ago, and none of them unschoolers.

When our kids were little we had two friends agree to be their advocates in case of problems.  I said if the boys felt unsafe, and came to either of these two guys, they were to do whatever was necessary to protect the boys—and to take their side in it, and make sure they were taken care of, even if it meant calling social services or the police.  

I told the boys (and later Holly, though by then there were more people around, and so more safety and awareness) that if they didn't feel safe or if Keith or I seemed to go crazy, to call Jeff or Paul, and they said they would.  

They're all still friends with Jeff and Paul too. :-)

Sandra

<mmarr@...>

>I can see sheltering kids from scary things.  I also think it would help some kids to know social services >exists.


After reading Sandra's response (which made me hope I didn't sound half as creepy as re-reading my post made me sound in my own head) I thought I should clarify a bit. It's not the existence of social services that I was trying to keep secret from my son, it was the idea that they could be called if he doesn't know something.   Which seems different to me than telling him that I could get in trouble if he doesn't wear a jacket in the snow or doesn't wear his seat belt. Those are things that he *can* do.

Michelle  

Sandra Dodd

-=-After reading Sandra's response (which made me hope I didn't sound half as creepy as re-reading my post made me sound in my own head) -=-

I wasn't thinking you were being creepy.  I just didn't want the suggestion to keep such things secret stand without comment.

-=-It's not the existence of social services that I was trying to keep secret from my son, it was the idea that they could be called if he doesn't know something.   Which seems different to me than telling him that I could get in trouble if he doesn't wear a jacket in the snow or doesn't wear his seat belt. Those are things that he *can* do. -=-

If he knows his address, he can learn his age.  Maybe he's just never felt a need for it.  Sometimes kids are around other kids who make a bigger deal about age.

I think it's trivia, in a way.  I'm not sure a doctor would agree, though, and some people are required by law to report when they think someone is being neglected in any way.  

It could be generalized in with wearing a coat in the snow and knowing his parents names. It doesn't need to be generalized in with knowing how to spell, or the capital of the state.

Sandra