When sound bothers a mom
Sandra Dodd
It's true some sounds are irritating.
I can't think if I can hear two broadcasts at once, like a radio station AND a TV show, or with two different pieces of music playing.
In another discussion Meredith wrote to a sound-bothered mom: "Maybe in good weather, with the windows open, the sound won't trouble you so much. Maybe over time you'll get used to it..."
Sometimes a mom says she can't listen to cartoons or some such. It can be easier in a larger house than a smaller one.
It can also help to remember that choosing to keep children home instead of send them to school means all of their learning and experience, in early years, is going to happen right where the mom is, and if the mom chooses all the input and the schedule, the children will be limited. If the mom finds ways to appreciate life being stirred up, to see that as an advantage rather than an inconvenience, the sounds should be happier and more welcome.
Resentment sometimes comes from a thwarted desire to control, so any steps taken to relax into giving children more choices and more options might help. Any irritant is worrse when the hearer is keyed up and tense than if she's relaxed.
When a child is home instead of at school, the mom doesn't get hours alone, but she also avoids the right-after-school frenzy or doldrums, and the early morning panicky rush of dressing and lunch prep or needing funds or permissions slips or homework or special supplies or particular shoes and where's the flute.
Sometimes an inventory of what is gained can help sounds be a part of what the parents have chosen—to create a learning environment that's different than, better than, more individualized than school.
If a child's presence is stressing a mom out to where she can't be kind and sweet to him, it's possible school would be better.
Homeschooling needs to be re-chosen and renewed. It's not decided once and then will coast.
Unschooling even moreso, because it's a constant state (unlike doing a curriculum on a schoolish schedule). This is from yesterday's chat:
Sandra Dodd: When people think about "making decisions," they think "I decided to be an unschooler, and nothing is going to change my mind."
Sandra Dodd: But then what?
Sandra Dodd: It's NOT a one-time decision, like deciding to move to Chicago.
Sandra Dodd:
Sandra Dodd: And when people see that unschooling only works if you make twenty or fifty little decisions a day that lead you closer to doing it better, they realize that the one decision they made to get married is NOT enough. They need to make thirty decisions a day to stay married!
I can't think if I can hear two broadcasts at once, like a radio station AND a TV show, or with two different pieces of music playing.
In another discussion Meredith wrote to a sound-bothered mom: "Maybe in good weather, with the windows open, the sound won't trouble you so much. Maybe over time you'll get used to it..."
Sometimes a mom says she can't listen to cartoons or some such. It can be easier in a larger house than a smaller one.
It can also help to remember that choosing to keep children home instead of send them to school means all of their learning and experience, in early years, is going to happen right where the mom is, and if the mom chooses all the input and the schedule, the children will be limited. If the mom finds ways to appreciate life being stirred up, to see that as an advantage rather than an inconvenience, the sounds should be happier and more welcome.
Resentment sometimes comes from a thwarted desire to control, so any steps taken to relax into giving children more choices and more options might help. Any irritant is worrse when the hearer is keyed up and tense than if she's relaxed.
When a child is home instead of at school, the mom doesn't get hours alone, but she also avoids the right-after-school frenzy or doldrums, and the early morning panicky rush of dressing and lunch prep or needing funds or permissions slips or homework or special supplies or particular shoes and where's the flute.
Sometimes an inventory of what is gained can help sounds be a part of what the parents have chosen—to create a learning environment that's different than, better than, more individualized than school.
If a child's presence is stressing a mom out to where she can't be kind and sweet to him, it's possible school would be better.
Homeschooling needs to be re-chosen and renewed. It's not decided once and then will coast.
Unschooling even moreso, because it's a constant state (unlike doing a curriculum on a schoolish schedule). This is from yesterday's chat:
Sandra Dodd: When people think about "making decisions," they think "I decided to be an unschooler, and nothing is going to change my mind."
Sandra Dodd: But then what?
Sandra Dodd: It's NOT a one-time decision, like deciding to move to Chicago.
Sandra Dodd:
Sandra Dodd: And when people see that unschooling only works if you make twenty or fifty little decisions a day that lead you closer to doing it better, they realize that the one decision they made to get married is NOT enough. They need to make thirty decisions a day to stay married!
Deciding many times a day to be patient and accommodating will make it easier to do that, as the relationship between the mom and child gets calmer, and as unschooling works better. Making lots of choices makes making choices easier.
Sandra
chris ester
I am a person who is very sensitive to sound. I have had migraines because
of certain sounds that I couldn't escape. Part of it is sensitive ears,
part of it is my somewhat "different" neurology. I will NOT acclimate to
certain sounds, I can't make my brain not react.
BUT, I can wear the squishy ear plugs that filter, but don't block, the
sound. This lowers the level just enough that I can cope with MY issue
without it impacting the people around me. My children are older now and
are somehow not as loud. But when they were young, I had to make
adjustments so that I could be kind. Not that I didn't sometimes say,
sweetly, "Can that be less loud, please?" I would even say, "I am finding
this same song/cartoon/ sound nerve wracking, can we play something else?",
especially when the same thing had been playing for a long time.
But I would say it calmly, and with kindness. Everyone in a home has a
right to be comfortable and happy, but not at the expense of someone else.
We found balance by adjusting and compromise--mostly by the adults because
children learning and being joyful is important and fleeting.
chris
of certain sounds that I couldn't escape. Part of it is sensitive ears,
part of it is my somewhat "different" neurology. I will NOT acclimate to
certain sounds, I can't make my brain not react.
BUT, I can wear the squishy ear plugs that filter, but don't block, the
sound. This lowers the level just enough that I can cope with MY issue
without it impacting the people around me. My children are older now and
are somehow not as loud. But when they were young, I had to make
adjustments so that I could be kind. Not that I didn't sometimes say,
sweetly, "Can that be less loud, please?" I would even say, "I am finding
this same song/cartoon/ sound nerve wracking, can we play something else?",
especially when the same thing had been playing for a long time.
But I would say it calmly, and with kindness. Everyone in a home has a
right to be comfortable and happy, but not at the expense of someone else.
We found balance by adjusting and compromise--mostly by the adults because
children learning and being joyful is important and fleeting.
chris
On Thu, Jan 9, 2014 at 5:23 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> It's true some sounds are irritating.
> I can't think if I can hear two broadcasts at once, like a radio station
> AND a TV show, or with two different pieces of music playing.
>
> In another discussion Meredith wrote to a sound-bothered mom: "Maybe in
> good weather, with the windows open, the sound won't trouble you so much.
> Maybe over time you'll get used to it..."
>
> Sometimes a mom says she can't listen to cartoons or some such. It can be
> easier in a larger house than a smaller one.
>
> It can also help to remember that choosing to keep children home instead
> of send them to school means all of their learning and experience, in early
> years, is going to happen right where the mom is, and if the mom chooses
> all the input and the schedule, the children will be limited. If the mom
> finds ways to appreciate life being stirred up, to see that as an advantage
> rather than an inconvenience, the sounds should be happier and more welcome.
>
> Resentment sometimes comes from a thwarted desire to control, so any steps
> taken to relax into giving children more choices and more options might
> help. Any irritant is worrse when the hearer is keyed up and tense than
> if she's relaxed.
>
> When a child is home instead of at school, the mom doesn't get hours
> alone, but she also avoids the right-after-school frenzy or doldrums, and
> the early morning panicky rush of dressing and lunch prep or needing funds
> or permissions slips or homework or special supplies or particular shoes
> and where's the flute.
>
> Sometimes an inventory of what is gained can help sounds be a part of what
> the parents have chosen�to create a learning environment that's different
> than, better than, more individualized than school.
>
> If a child's presence is stressing a mom out to where she can't be kind
> and sweet to him, it's possible school would be better.
>
> Homeschooling needs to be re-chosen and renewed. It's not decided once
> and then will coast.
> Unschooling even moreso, because it's a constant state (unlike doing a
> curriculum on a schoolish schedule). This is from yesterday's chat:
>
> Sandra Dodd: When people think about "making decisions," they think "I
> decided to be an unschooler, and nothing is going to change my mind."
> Sandra Dodd: But then what?
> Sandra Dodd: It's NOT a one-time decision, like deciding to move to
> Chicago.
> Sandra Dodd:
>
> Sandra Dodd: And when people see that unschooling only works if you make
> twenty or fifty little decisions a day that lead you closer to doing it
> better, they realize that the one decision they made to get married is
> NOT enough. They need to make thirty decisions a day to stay married!
>
> Deciding many times a day to be patient and accommodating will make it
> easier to do that, as the relationship between the mom and child gets
> calmer, and as unschooling works better. Making lots of choices makes
> making choices easier.
>
> http://sandradodd.com/choices
> http://sandradodd.com/control
> http://sandradodd.com/rules
>
> Sandra
>
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