fundayeveryday

"Also, one thing I really struggle with is being present with one child while another wants you and is waiting for their 'turn' with you. "

I'm fairly new to unschooling, so what I'm sharing are neat observations from what I've learned so far.
I've noticed that the more I follow through with my comments and do what I say I'm going to  do with the kids, the more willing they are to wait for me without frustrations- and I try my best not to make it too long of a wait!  When I say to one of them "I want to be with you, too.  I'll be there right after I'm finished helping/being with your sister/brother" and  follow through with this fairly quickly, then they seem to trust that I will actually be  there as soon as I can.  As opposed to saying "I'll be right there" and never actually following up on it or get distracted with something else thinking they might not notice me doing something else! (oops- been there!)  The more they can trust that I will actually be "right there", the easier the "wait" seems for them (or so it seems easier...realistically, waiting for something is no fun no matter how you look at it! I guess less whining or fussing about waiting or repeatedly saying 'mama, mama, mama' is what I mean!).



Kristen

Clare Kirkpatrick

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I've noticed that the more I follow through with my comments and do what I say I'm going to  do with the kids, the more willing they are to wait for me without frustrations- and I try my best not to make it too long of a wait! -=-

So allowing time for a slow building of trust? Yes, I can see that. More patience required on my part with the process of unschooling and rebuilding trust.


Sent from Samsung Mobile

Sandra Dodd

-=-The more they can trust that I will actually be "right there", the easier the "wait" seems for them (or so it seems easier...realistically, waiting for something is no fun no matter how you look at it! I guess less whining or fussing about waiting or repeatedly saying 'mama, mama, mama' is what I mean!). -=-

Yes. 
Being a child's partner, and having that trusting relationship, makes a huge difference both ways.  And though it can seem valuable when they're little, if it can be kept up, it's unbelievably valuable when they get old enough to leave the house without you.  If they really do trust you, and you really do know them (not just "knowing" what people their age allegedly think or want, but you truly have spent a lot of time with your own child), teen years can be pretty easy and enjoyable.  

Every bit of trust is an investment in the future.

Pam Sorooshian wrote once:

"As we get older and our kids grow up, we eventually come to realize that all the big things in our lives are really the direct result of how we've handled all the little things." —Pam Sorooshian, June 4, 2007

Sandra