Principles over "unschooling"
Sandra Dodd
This is an interesting thing.
A family I stayed with in another year, in another country. The parents weren't getting along well. Unschooling was a problem. The dad was from another country, another culture. Things seemed grim.
Today I have news that is very worth considering, by everyone in any circumstance, and by everyone who advises others now, or might in the future:
_______________
Life here has changed since your visit. I've decided I wasn't going to try to unschool in the end, but rather put all my energy in making my family work better without trying to stick to any philosophy. We have been doing some school stuff and it's helped reassure my husband a lot. The kids have asked to go to school next year, they want to see kids every single day and I did not manage to make that happen while we were homeschooling. I've found a very small and friendly private school in the next village and we're all very excited and looking forward to this new adventure. And I'm going to be teaching in the very same school, but another grade level, so it's really going to be a family adventure.
Registering the kids for school has made my husband feel so much safer, our life is getting sweeter and sweeter. He doesn't feel the need to check how much they know daily anymore, and he's being much nicer to the kids and more playful. I've realized how much it doesn't make sense to try and unschool if the husband is very hostile, because it brings home, 24/7, the very tension and hardship we were trying to escape by not going to school. I know you've been saying it all along, but now I really get it. Keep your marriage strong is definitely the best advice I got from you :-)
It's funny because in a way, my life now feels much closer to what I understand of the unschooling philosophy, as in "make your home a safe, warm and loving haven where learning can be exciting and fun", then it ever was when I was so desperately trying to "join the unschooling club". I've read your post about unschooling not being a church. I so totally agree with you there.
________________
I will bring that post she's talking about.
Sandra
A family I stayed with in another year, in another country. The parents weren't getting along well. Unschooling was a problem. The dad was from another country, another culture. Things seemed grim.
Today I have news that is very worth considering, by everyone in any circumstance, and by everyone who advises others now, or might in the future:
_______________
Life here has changed since your visit. I've decided I wasn't going to try to unschool in the end, but rather put all my energy in making my family work better without trying to stick to any philosophy. We have been doing some school stuff and it's helped reassure my husband a lot. The kids have asked to go to school next year, they want to see kids every single day and I did not manage to make that happen while we were homeschooling. I've found a very small and friendly private school in the next village and we're all very excited and looking forward to this new adventure. And I'm going to be teaching in the very same school, but another grade level, so it's really going to be a family adventure.
Registering the kids for school has made my husband feel so much safer, our life is getting sweeter and sweeter. He doesn't feel the need to check how much they know daily anymore, and he's being much nicer to the kids and more playful. I've realized how much it doesn't make sense to try and unschool if the husband is very hostile, because it brings home, 24/7, the very tension and hardship we were trying to escape by not going to school. I know you've been saying it all along, but now I really get it. Keep your marriage strong is definitely the best advice I got from you :-)
It's funny because in a way, my life now feels much closer to what I understand of the unschooling philosophy, as in "make your home a safe, warm and loving haven where learning can be exciting and fun", then it ever was when I was so desperately trying to "join the unschooling club". I've read your post about unschooling not being a church. I so totally agree with you there.
________________
I will bring that post she's talking about.
Sandra
sandralynndodd
"The unschooling community" problem, as I see it (expounded, below)
Some people don't have a problem with the idea of "the unschooling community," and they want to explain to me what it is. I know what it is.
Some people are conference junkies and go to conferences lots, and don't do much else. That's okay. They live in the jet set (or the RV circuit) of the unschooling community. Not many can afford to do that.
It seems to me that when people leave school they hope they're going to a different, new school. A FREE school. A school made of unschooling parents and their children. Some people, when they find out that there's not a group locally, think they can't unschool.
Even people with a local park day or playgroup need to unschool full time, though, and not just a few hours a week, so they need to figure it out.
But some people want there to be something, some structure, some group they can join, and having just joined (signed up), they are IN it.
Churches work that way. You can join a church. Sometimes you might need to requests to be baptized, to join. Sometimes you might need to take a short series of classes, to be admitted, but when you're in, you are IN. For life and eternity, maybe. And you have "a church family," and you can be on committees, and they will hope you give them "a tithe" (one tenth of your income). And there will be church suppers, and maybe a softball team. It's okay if you don't know the words to the hymns or can't carry a tune. It's okay if you don't really read the Bible yourself, as long as you sit attentively during the services.
If you're in a church, someone will visit you in the hospital if you're sick. People will pray for you if you're unemployed. They might even help you find a job.
If you're in a church, there will be people you can tell your troubles to, and they will soothe you and advise you.
Some people want "the unschooling community" to be their new church.
I want their family to be their new church, where they live happily and look for joy, where they comfort each other and learn together, and have meals together. If they join a softball team, it should have people who want to play softball, not just other unschoolers. If they want to sing, it should be with other people who want to sing.
Living in the real world shouldn't be in a smaller, limited world.
The original, with some commentary, was on facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10151585409674751
July 23, 2013
Some people don't have a problem with the idea of "the unschooling community," and they want to explain to me what it is. I know what it is.
Some people are conference junkies and go to conferences lots, and don't do much else. That's okay. They live in the jet set (or the RV circuit) of the unschooling community. Not many can afford to do that.
It seems to me that when people leave school they hope they're going to a different, new school. A FREE school. A school made of unschooling parents and their children. Some people, when they find out that there's not a group locally, think they can't unschool.
Even people with a local park day or playgroup need to unschool full time, though, and not just a few hours a week, so they need to figure it out.
But some people want there to be something, some structure, some group they can join, and having just joined (signed up), they are IN it.
Churches work that way. You can join a church. Sometimes you might need to requests to be baptized, to join. Sometimes you might need to take a short series of classes, to be admitted, but when you're in, you are IN. For life and eternity, maybe. And you have "a church family," and you can be on committees, and they will hope you give them "a tithe" (one tenth of your income). And there will be church suppers, and maybe a softball team. It's okay if you don't know the words to the hymns or can't carry a tune. It's okay if you don't really read the Bible yourself, as long as you sit attentively during the services.
If you're in a church, someone will visit you in the hospital if you're sick. People will pray for you if you're unemployed. They might even help you find a job.
If you're in a church, there will be people you can tell your troubles to, and they will soothe you and advise you.
Some people want "the unschooling community" to be their new church.
I want their family to be their new church, where they live happily and look for joy, where they comfort each other and learn together, and have meals together. If they join a softball team, it should have people who want to play softball, not just other unschoolers. If they want to sing, it should be with other people who want to sing.
Living in the real world shouldn't be in a smaller, limited world.
The original, with some commentary, was on facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10151585409674751
July 23, 2013