My Child Refuses Constipation Treatments
supermomblues
I know that the issue of chronic constipation has been brought up before, but in doing a search I couldn't find the issue I'm dealing with here.
My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is so bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives don't work with her physiology.
When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach ache, throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in the ER because of it.
Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is so bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives don't work with her physiology.
When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach ache, throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in the ER because of it.
Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
Sandra Dodd
I believe that you believe that laxatives will NEVER work and that the ONLY thing that will work is a suppository.
I believe that you believe that, but I am always hesitant to agree when someone has named two (and only two) positions and says one is the NEVER and one is the ALWAYS.
I suppose you have tried more and more water, popsicles, ice, liquidy things. Maybe that won't help, but any kind of dehyration, when something is already dry (wether it's stool, skin, throat) is just worse.
What about oily foods? Dolmas canned in oil? Tuna canned in oil? Tuna/egg salad with a littleolive oil? I'm not sure it would help, but is it worth a try?
Would she take a flat-out bribe to let you put in suppositories? Toys? Cash? Cheaper than doctors or emergency rooms.
http://sandradodd.com/bribery
Don't reject bribery outright. :-)
If she hate suppositories, would she consider low-tech watery enema? Maybe playing with an enema bag in the bathtub or shower would amuse her enough that she would consider that instead of suppositories.
Here's a source for the classic douche bag. :-)
It hangs on the shower curtain rod, and has a tube and an on-off clip on the tube.
http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Health_&_Beauty/Health_&_Beauty/Personal_Care_Essentials/Douche/Enema_Bag/49516?searchid=7SPFGPLA&feedid=googleproductsearch&jadid=%7Bcreative%7D&jk=%7Bkeyword%7D&jkId=gc:a8a8ae4cd383359600138498540d40518:t%7Bifsearch:1%7D%7Bifcontent:8%7D_%7Bmatchtype%7D_%7Bifmobile:m%7D:k_%7Bkeyword%7D:pl_%7Bplacement%7D&jp=%7Bplacement%7D&js=1&jsid=20123&jt=1&gdftrk=gdfV21961_a_7c336_a_7c4822_a_7c49516_d_46008&gclid=CNK71fvFn7YCFQeoPAodQT8A-Q&
Sandra
I believe that you believe that, but I am always hesitant to agree when someone has named two (and only two) positions and says one is the NEVER and one is the ALWAYS.
I suppose you have tried more and more water, popsicles, ice, liquidy things. Maybe that won't help, but any kind of dehyration, when something is already dry (wether it's stool, skin, throat) is just worse.
What about oily foods? Dolmas canned in oil? Tuna canned in oil? Tuna/egg salad with a littleolive oil? I'm not sure it would help, but is it worth a try?
Would she take a flat-out bribe to let you put in suppositories? Toys? Cash? Cheaper than doctors or emergency rooms.
http://sandradodd.com/bribery
Don't reject bribery outright. :-)
If she hate suppositories, would she consider low-tech watery enema? Maybe playing with an enema bag in the bathtub or shower would amuse her enough that she would consider that instead of suppositories.
Here's a source for the classic douche bag. :-)
It hangs on the shower curtain rod, and has a tube and an on-off clip on the tube.
http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Health_&_Beauty/Health_&_Beauty/Personal_Care_Essentials/Douche/Enema_Bag/49516?searchid=7SPFGPLA&feedid=googleproductsearch&jadid=%7Bcreative%7D&jk=%7Bkeyword%7D&jkId=gc:a8a8ae4cd383359600138498540d40518:t%7Bifsearch:1%7D%7Bifcontent:8%7D_%7Bmatchtype%7D_%7Bifmobile:m%7D:k_%7Bkeyword%7D:pl_%7Bplacement%7D&jp=%7Bplacement%7D&js=1&jsid=20123&jt=1&gdftrk=gdfV21961_a_7c336_a_7c4822_a_7c49516_d_46008&gclid=CNK71fvFn7YCFQeoPAodQT8A-Q&
Sandra
supermomblues
> What about oily foods? Dolmas canned in oil? Tuna canned in oil? Tuna/egg salad with a littleolive oil? I'm not sure it would help, but is it worth a try?<This is a great idea - and one I really can't believe I didn't think about before. She actually loves tuna, so it would be nothing to switch to oil-packed.
> Would she take a flat-out bribe to let you put in suppositories? Toys? Cash? Cheaper than doctors or emergency rooms. <I am not above bribery :-) I was just worried that it might be a form of coersion - very glad that it's not!
> http://sandradodd.com/bribery Don't reject bribery outright. :-)<
> If she hate suppositories, would she consider low-tech watery enema? Maybe playing with an enema bag in the bathtub or shower would amuse her enough that she would consider that instead of suppositories.<We actually did enemas, but they were store bought - the reaction to those was worse than the suppository - but I've never tried an old fashioned one - she might go for that better.
Thank you so much for your suggestions!!
*Jennifer*
Vonnie Hart
Have you tried water? And look into food that takes away water and those
that keeps water in? I think rice holds onto the water like sponges?
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 7:21 AM, supermomblues <
supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
that keeps water in? I think rice holds onto the water like sponges?
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 7:21 AM, supermomblues <
supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
> **[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> I know that the issue of chronic constipation has been brought up before,
> but in doing a search I couldn't find the issue I'm dealing with here.
>
> My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is so
> bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three
> months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we
> finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water
> from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives
> don't work with her physiology.
>
> When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach ache,
> throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in the ER
> because of it.
>
> Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve
> and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not
> like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to
> give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous
> situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her
> treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and
> let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard
> because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
>
>
>
Vonnie Hart
Sorry skipped before I finished. Have you tried miralax? Its the lax one
mixes into drinks.
mixes into drinks.
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 10:00 AM, Vonnie Hart <vonjela@...> wrote:
> Have you tried water? And look into food that takes away water and those
> that keeps water in? I think rice holds onto the water like sponges?
>
>
> On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 7:21 AM, supermomblues <
> supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
>
>> **
>>
>>
>> I know that the issue of chronic constipation has been brought up before,
>> but in doing a search I couldn't find the issue I'm dealing with here.
>>
>> My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is
>> so bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three
>> months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we
>> finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water
>> from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives
>> don't work with her physiology.
>>
>> When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach
>> ache, throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in
>> the ER because of it.
>>
>> Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to
>> relieve and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does
>> not like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us
>> to give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous
>> situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
>>
>> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her
>> treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and
>> let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard
>> because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
>>
>>
>>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
K Pennell
On the line of oily foods, we've added mineral oil to our son's juice. He doesn't love it, but knows it helps him and is willing to have it. He doesn't have it every day now, but did for a really long time. Have you tried that?
________________________________
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, March 28, 2013 9:46 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] My Child Refuses Constipation Treatments
I believe that you believe that laxatives will NEVER work and that the ONLY thing that will work is a suppository.
I believe that you believe that, but I am always hesitant to agree when someone has named two (and only two) positions and says one is the NEVER and one is the ALWAYS.
I suppose you have tried more and more water, popsicles, ice, liquidy things. Maybe that won't help, but any kind of dehyration, when something is already dry (wether it's stool, skin, throat) is just worse.
What about oily foods? Dolmas canned in oil? Tuna canned in oil? Tuna/egg salad with a littleolive oil? I'm not sure it would help, but is it worth a try?
Would she take a flat-out bribe to let you put in suppositories? Toys? Cash? Cheaper than doctors or emergency rooms.
http://sandradodd.com/bribery
Don't reject bribery outright. :-)
If she hate suppositories, would she consider low-tech watery enema? Maybe playing with an enema bag in the bathtub or shower would amuse her enough that she would consider that instead of suppositories.
Here's a source for the classic douche bag. :-)
It hangs on the shower curtain rod, and has a tube and an on-off clip on the tube.
http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Health_&_Beauty/Health_&_Beauty/Personal_Care_Essentials/Douche/Enema_Bag/49516?searchid=7SPFGPLA&feedid=googleproductsearch&jadid=%7Bcreative%7D&jk=%7Bkeyword%7D&jkId=gc:a8a8ae4cd383359600138498540d40518:t%7Bifsearch:1%7D%7Bifcontent:8%7D_%7Bmatchtype%7D_%7Bifmobile:m%7D:k_%7Bkeyword%7D:pl_%7Bplacement%7D&jp=%7Bplacement%7D&js=1&jsid=20123&jt=1&gdftrk=gdfV21961_a_7c336_a_7c4822_a_7c49516_d_46008&gclid=CNK71fvFn7YCFQeoPAodQT8A-Q&
Sandra
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
________________________________
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, March 28, 2013 9:46 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] My Child Refuses Constipation Treatments
I believe that you believe that laxatives will NEVER work and that the ONLY thing that will work is a suppository.
I believe that you believe that, but I am always hesitant to agree when someone has named two (and only two) positions and says one is the NEVER and one is the ALWAYS.
I suppose you have tried more and more water, popsicles, ice, liquidy things. Maybe that won't help, but any kind of dehyration, when something is already dry (wether it's stool, skin, throat) is just worse.
What about oily foods? Dolmas canned in oil? Tuna canned in oil? Tuna/egg salad with a littleolive oil? I'm not sure it would help, but is it worth a try?
Would she take a flat-out bribe to let you put in suppositories? Toys? Cash? Cheaper than doctors or emergency rooms.
http://sandradodd.com/bribery
Don't reject bribery outright. :-)
If she hate suppositories, would she consider low-tech watery enema? Maybe playing with an enema bag in the bathtub or shower would amuse her enough that she would consider that instead of suppositories.
Here's a source for the classic douche bag. :-)
It hangs on the shower curtain rod, and has a tube and an on-off clip on the tube.
http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Health_&_Beauty/Health_&_Beauty/Personal_Care_Essentials/Douche/Enema_Bag/49516?searchid=7SPFGPLA&feedid=googleproductsearch&jadid=%7Bcreative%7D&jk=%7Bkeyword%7D&jkId=gc:a8a8ae4cd383359600138498540d40518:t%7Bifsearch:1%7D%7Bifcontent:8%7D_%7Bmatchtype%7D_%7Bifmobile:m%7D:k_%7Bkeyword%7D:pl_%7Bplacement%7D&jp=%7Bplacement%7D&js=1&jsid=20123&jt=1&gdftrk=gdfV21961_a_7c336_a_7c4822_a_7c49516_d_46008&gclid=CNK71fvFn7YCFQeoPAodQT8A-Q&
Sandra
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cinira Longuinho
Hi,
My daughter had impactation. It was a very difficult time.
After the correct diagnosis, the solution was simple. We would put
polyethyleneglycol 3350 in water or juice or a favorite smoothie. The thing
is important to get the right dose and frequency to work. We did 1 cup of
the dose twice a day. It had to be the correct amount that would made the
stools come out like a paste. We did this " fine tuning" of the right dose
with a gastro because it is higher than the amount recommended on the label
of the laxative.
After 1 or 2 months taking the polyethyleneglycol 3350, it seems her
intestines learnt how to work. She just told me one day... Lets try to stop
that medicine and see what happens? I said, ok. She was fine, no
impactation since then.
My daughter had impactation. It was a very difficult time.
After the correct diagnosis, the solution was simple. We would put
polyethyleneglycol 3350 in water or juice or a favorite smoothie. The thing
is important to get the right dose and frequency to work. We did 1 cup of
the dose twice a day. It had to be the correct amount that would made the
stools come out like a paste. We did this " fine tuning" of the right dose
with a gastro because it is higher than the amount recommended on the label
of the laxative.
After 1 or 2 months taking the polyethyleneglycol 3350, it seems her
intestines learnt how to work. She just told me one day... Lets try to stop
that medicine and see what happens? I said, ok. She was fine, no
impactation since then.
Rachel
We use benefiber which is an almost tasteless powder that can be mixed into most drinks or food. It helped when my daughter was withholding when she was younger and now if she is constipated.
Would your daughter be willing to try that?
Rachel
Would your daughter be willing to try that?
Rachel
CASS KOTRBA
The stimulants in coffee give my bowels a jump start every time. When I drink my morning cup of joe I make sure to be near a bathroom. Maybe a cup of creamy coffee in the morning would be worth a try?
My daughter has (& is busily outgrowing) asthma & chronically stuffy sinuses so I completely understand where you are coming from emotionally. Nothing grabs your attention more than those emergency room visits! It's so scary to think "she could DIE!!". Then the doctors give you their all knowing, all powerful opinions (which usurps your power and faith in her body's ability to take care of itself). Then maybe you've tried alternative approaches and been given different ideas. You care so much and it all becomes fodder for your anxiety. I would suggest that the fear and anxiety are your biggest enemies. I would suggest that your biggest problem is worrying and focusing on the things that you don't want, as opposed to being relaxed and focusing on the things that you do want. I have FINALLY realized the truth in that for us. My daughter is 10. As we've gone further into unschooling I made a conscious decision to set down my anxieties and focus on changing her EMOTIONAL environment. I would have never believed the difference it would make. On March 18, 9:30 pm she looked up at me from her little bed next to mine and said "Mommy, I'm a nose breather now!" It was a pretty sweet moment for me. She has not gotten "tight" in over a month and has easily discarded her preventative (steroid) inhaler. I am shocked at how easily she just turned the corner and started walking away from theses chronic symptoms. We have never been able to stop the inhaled steroid before without her symptoms increasing. What changes did I make that precipitated this? Well, it certainly isn't due to increased nutrient density in her diet. Quite the opposite. I have finally given up trying to control her diet and given the control to her. She is choosing all of the things that were previously forbidden or guilt ridden. She is hilarious as she scours the grocery store shelves for brightly colored treasures to explore. I decided to let go of my worrying over her food and her health, focusing instead on making her feel happier, safer and more in control of all areas of her life. Evidently that was what she was needing all along.
I have a book called "Heal Your Body A-Z, The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them" by Louise Hay. She gives good food for thought. She says the following:
Asthma - "Probable Cause"- Smother love. Inability to breathe for oneself. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying. "New thought Pattern" - It is safe for me to take charge of my own life. I choose to be free.
Sinus Problems - "Probable Cause"- Irritation with one person, someone close. "New thought Pattern" - I declare peace and harmony indwell me and surround me at all times. All is well.
Constipation - "Probable Cause" - Refusing to release old ideas. Stuck in the past. Sometimes stinginess. "New Thought Pattern" - As I release the past, the new and fresh and vital enter. I allow life to flow through me.
Gas Pains - "Probable Cause" - Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas. "New Thought Pattern" - I relax and let life flow through me with ease.
Best of luck,
Cass
My daughter has (& is busily outgrowing) asthma & chronically stuffy sinuses so I completely understand where you are coming from emotionally. Nothing grabs your attention more than those emergency room visits! It's so scary to think "she could DIE!!". Then the doctors give you their all knowing, all powerful opinions (which usurps your power and faith in her body's ability to take care of itself). Then maybe you've tried alternative approaches and been given different ideas. You care so much and it all becomes fodder for your anxiety. I would suggest that the fear and anxiety are your biggest enemies. I would suggest that your biggest problem is worrying and focusing on the things that you don't want, as opposed to being relaxed and focusing on the things that you do want. I have FINALLY realized the truth in that for us. My daughter is 10. As we've gone further into unschooling I made a conscious decision to set down my anxieties and focus on changing her EMOTIONAL environment. I would have never believed the difference it would make. On March 18, 9:30 pm she looked up at me from her little bed next to mine and said "Mommy, I'm a nose breather now!" It was a pretty sweet moment for me. She has not gotten "tight" in over a month and has easily discarded her preventative (steroid) inhaler. I am shocked at how easily she just turned the corner and started walking away from theses chronic symptoms. We have never been able to stop the inhaled steroid before without her symptoms increasing. What changes did I make that precipitated this? Well, it certainly isn't due to increased nutrient density in her diet. Quite the opposite. I have finally given up trying to control her diet and given the control to her. She is choosing all of the things that were previously forbidden or guilt ridden. She is hilarious as she scours the grocery store shelves for brightly colored treasures to explore. I decided to let go of my worrying over her food and her health, focusing instead on making her feel happier, safer and more in control of all areas of her life. Evidently that was what she was needing all along.
I have a book called "Heal Your Body A-Z, The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them" by Louise Hay. She gives good food for thought. She says the following:
Asthma - "Probable Cause"- Smother love. Inability to breathe for oneself. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying. "New thought Pattern" - It is safe for me to take charge of my own life. I choose to be free.
Sinus Problems - "Probable Cause"- Irritation with one person, someone close. "New thought Pattern" - I declare peace and harmony indwell me and surround me at all times. All is well.
Constipation - "Probable Cause" - Refusing to release old ideas. Stuck in the past. Sometimes stinginess. "New Thought Pattern" - As I release the past, the new and fresh and vital enter. I allow life to flow through me.
Gas Pains - "Probable Cause" - Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas. "New Thought Pattern" - I relax and let life flow through me with ease.
Best of luck,
Cass
chris ester
I agree with Sandra. Have you seen a specialist? Have you tried
probiotics, a change in diet-- less sodium and meat, more watery foods like
fresh fruit and vegetables, lots of liquids, more real sugar (from sources
that are just naturally sugary--cane sugar, fruit, sweet vegetables). Have
you tried working with her with an elimination diet, could this be
something like celiacs?
There are also more exotic options like chinese traditional medicine,
aryvedic...
I am sure that an enema or suppository may be necessary in the short term,
but I would want to try to work with your daughter and research other
options than laxatives to find a lifelong solution for her health.
chris
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 8:21 AM, supermomblues <
supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
probiotics, a change in diet-- less sodium and meat, more watery foods like
fresh fruit and vegetables, lots of liquids, more real sugar (from sources
that are just naturally sugary--cane sugar, fruit, sweet vegetables). Have
you tried working with her with an elimination diet, could this be
something like celiacs?
There are also more exotic options like chinese traditional medicine,
aryvedic...
I am sure that an enema or suppository may be necessary in the short term,
but I would want to try to work with your daughter and research other
options than laxatives to find a lifelong solution for her health.
chris
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 8:21 AM, supermomblues <
supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
> **[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> I know that the issue of chronic constipation has been brought up before,
> but in doing a search I couldn't find the issue I'm dealing with here.
>
> My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is so
> bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three
> months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we
> finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water
> from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives
> don't work with her physiology.
>
> When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach ache,
> throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in the ER
> because of it.
>
> Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve
> and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not
> like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to
> give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous
> situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her
> treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and
> let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard
> because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
>
>
>
chris ester
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 11:10 AM, Cinira Longuinho <
ciniravlonguinho@...> wrote:
Maybe if you consulted with one, he or she could help you have a better
idea of the cause. Strictly speaking, almost all constipation is due to a
lack of liquid in the bowel, so the cause of the lack of liquid would be
what you may want to figure out.
Six is very young and still a little fragile to try too many remedies that
were designed for adults without some professional advice. Physicials are
people with specialized knowledge that we pay them to share so that we can
make better informed decisions about our health.
Chris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ciniravlonguinho@...> wrote:
> **gastroenterologist.
>
>
> Hi,
>
> My daughter had impactation. It was a very difficult time.
>
> We did this " fine tuning" of the right dose
> with a gastro because it is higher than the amount recommended on the label
> of the laxative.
>
> That is the 'specialist' that I was trying to think of-- a
Maybe if you consulted with one, he or she could help you have a better
idea of the cause. Strictly speaking, almost all constipation is due to a
lack of liquid in the bowel, so the cause of the lack of liquid would be
what you may want to figure out.
Six is very young and still a little fragile to try too many remedies that
were designed for adults without some professional advice. Physicials are
people with specialized knowledge that we pay them to share so that we can
make better informed decisions about our health.
Chris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen
> Have you tried water? And look into food that takes away water and thoseChia seeds are marvelous for holding water. You can make a gel with them by adding 2 tablespoons of chia seeds to one cup of water. I have added this gel to our smoothies. Chia seeds apparently have a reputation for being a "running food" because of their water retention abilities. Great fiber too. High protein. Might be worth a try.
> that keeps water in? I think rice holds onto the water like sponges?
CASS KOTRBA
-=- Have you seen a specialist? Have you tried
probiotics, a change in diet-- less sodium and meat, more watery foods like
fresh fruit and vegetables, lots of liquids, more real sugar (from sources
that are just naturally sugary--cane sugar, fruit, sweet vegetables). Have
you tried working with her with an elimination diet, could this be
something like celiacs? -=-
-=- Strictly speaking, almost all constipation is due to a
lack of liquid in the bowel, so the cause of the lack of liquid would be
what you may want to figure out. -=-
As I am reading some of the other posts I can feel my own anxiety level starting to rise. I walked away from the computer and this line keeps running through my head "lions and tigers and bears - OH MY!!" Try not to worry too much about the lions and tigers and bears as that fear then taints the overall journey. I think it's better to focus on skipping down the yellow brick road with beloved friends. As you relax and focus more on the journey the answers will become apparent to you in time. Relaxing will give you a better perspective. I think if I had anxiety around pooping and focused my energy on that feeling I would never go either. Taking the pressure off and distracting her thoughts with something happy sounds better.
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
probiotics, a change in diet-- less sodium and meat, more watery foods like
fresh fruit and vegetables, lots of liquids, more real sugar (from sources
that are just naturally sugary--cane sugar, fruit, sweet vegetables). Have
you tried working with her with an elimination diet, could this be
something like celiacs? -=-
-=- Strictly speaking, almost all constipation is due to a
lack of liquid in the bowel, so the cause of the lack of liquid would be
what you may want to figure out. -=-
As I am reading some of the other posts I can feel my own anxiety level starting to rise. I walked away from the computer and this line keeps running through my head "lions and tigers and bears - OH MY!!" Try not to worry too much about the lions and tigers and bears as that fear then taints the overall journey. I think it's better to focus on skipping down the yellow brick road with beloved friends. As you relax and focus more on the journey the answers will become apparent to you in time. Relaxing will give you a better perspective. I think if I had anxiety around pooping and focused my energy on that feeling I would never go either. Taking the pressure off and distracting her thoughts with something happy sounds better.
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Cinira
Sorry i forgot to add it is important to drink lots, lots of water. In my dd case she was already drinking a lot because the effect of the impactation was diarrhea... What made the diagnosis difficult.
My daughter had impactation from 3 to 4 years old. Now she is 6.
I would definitely check a gastro.
I just realize that i still celebrate to myself when i see my dd beautiful formed stools in the toilet. What a victory! Lol
C.
Sent from my iPhone
My daughter had impactation from 3 to 4 years old. Now she is 6.
I would definitely check a gastro.
I just realize that i still celebrate to myself when i see my dd beautiful formed stools in the toilet. What a victory! Lol
C.
Sent from my iPhone
On 2013-03-28, at 8:48 AM, chris ester <chris.homeschool@...> wrote:
> On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 11:10 AM, Cinira Longuinho <
> ciniravlonguinho@...> wrote:
>
> > **
> >
> >
> > Hi,
> >
> > My daughter had impactation. It was a very difficult time.
> >
> > We did this " fine tuning" of the right dose
> > with a gastro because it is higher than the amount recommended on the label
> > of the laxative.
> >
> > That is the 'specialist' that I was trying to think of-- a
> gastroenterologist.
>
> Maybe if you consulted with one, he or she could help you have a better
> idea of the cause. Strictly speaking, almost all constipation is due to a
> lack of liquid in the bowel, so the cause of the lack of liquid would be
> what you may want to figure out.
>
> Six is very young and still a little fragile to try too many remedies that
> were designed for adults without some professional advice. Physicials are
> people with specialized knowledge that we pay them to share so that we can
> make better informed decisions about our health.
> Chris
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lyla Wolfenstein
i had a child who struggled with constipation for several years - i know it
can be annoying to get tons of suggestions you've already tried - but since
you only mentioned two options - both pretty extreme, i am confused - is
the suppository thing a lifelong therapy then? is it daily or just when
impaction occurs? what is causing the excess water removal - have you
identified that? the only thing that worked (that *i* knew about) when my
child was young was mineral oil daily - my child took it for 1.5 years
before was able to go off without return of extreme constipation. if it
were to happen to a child of mine now, i'd try more natural oils and
magnesium calm first. bulking/fiber options didn't work because i couldn't
get my child to drink the vast amounts of water required to make them
effective. it seems to me that a plan *with* your child that both
addresses the issue in the moment AND manages/prevents it long term is
essential. suppositories are not a long term/preventative solution, as far
as i know. i am curious from where you got the diagnosis of excess water
removal? that in itself is not an unschooling topic, but how you take in
information from "experts" and what you do with it/how you question
it/explore options certainly is. i agree with sandra that it's not likely
to be an "always" and a "NEVER" scenario.
lyla
can be annoying to get tons of suggestions you've already tried - but since
you only mentioned two options - both pretty extreme, i am confused - is
the suppository thing a lifelong therapy then? is it daily or just when
impaction occurs? what is causing the excess water removal - have you
identified that? the only thing that worked (that *i* knew about) when my
child was young was mineral oil daily - my child took it for 1.5 years
before was able to go off without return of extreme constipation. if it
were to happen to a child of mine now, i'd try more natural oils and
magnesium calm first. bulking/fiber options didn't work because i couldn't
get my child to drink the vast amounts of water required to make them
effective. it seems to me that a plan *with* your child that both
addresses the issue in the moment AND manages/prevents it long term is
essential. suppositories are not a long term/preventative solution, as far
as i know. i am curious from where you got the diagnosis of excess water
removal? that in itself is not an unschooling topic, but how you take in
information from "experts" and what you do with it/how you question
it/explore options certainly is. i agree with sandra that it's not likely
to be an "always" and a "NEVER" scenario.
lyla
On Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 8:55 AM, Karen <semajrak@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
>
> > Have you tried water? And look into food that takes away water and those
> > that keeps water in? I think rice holds onto the water like sponges?
>
> Chia seeds are marvelous for holding water. You can make a gel with them
> by adding 2 tablespoons of chia seeds to one cup of water. I have added
> this gel to our smoothies. Chia seeds apparently have a reputation for
> being a "running food" because of their water retention abilities. Great
> fiber too. High protein. Might be worth a try.
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"supermomblues" <supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
It's possible to get yourself all twisted up in crazy knots wondering what constitutes "coercion" and what doesn't. Bribery is better than force, better than a trip to the hospital. Look for what's "better" than what you know to be the "worse" options - better is better.
Something else to consider with the suppositories - can she do them herself? Is it something you can leave for her to deal with when she's ready? I know some parents have found kids will take medicine they otherwise refuse if given lots of control over how and when they take it.
---Meredith
>> I am not above bribery :-) I was just worried that it might be a form of coersion - very glad that it's not!*************
It's possible to get yourself all twisted up in crazy knots wondering what constitutes "coercion" and what doesn't. Bribery is better than force, better than a trip to the hospital. Look for what's "better" than what you know to be the "worse" options - better is better.
Something else to consider with the suppositories - can she do them herself? Is it something you can leave for her to deal with when she's ready? I know some parents have found kids will take medicine they otherwise refuse if given lots of control over how and when they take it.
---Meredith
efdm4now
Sandra mentioned some great ideas, but what about some old classics such a prune juice, figs and/or dates? When our son has bouts of constipation, we've found it's almost never that hard to fix by adjusting the menu some. A bit more oil in the diet, some dates cut up... And having the option of having a water bottle available all the time, even in bed.
I really hope you find a solution that works for you without the regularity of such medical interventions like suppositories.
--Eden Mabee
I really hope you find a solution that works for you without the regularity of such medical interventions like suppositories.
--Eden Mabee
--- In [email protected], Lyla Wolfenstein <lylaw@...> wrote:
>
> i had a child who struggled with constipation for several years - i know it
> can be annoying to get tons of suggestions you've already tried - but since
> you only mentioned two options - both pretty extreme, i am confused [snipped]
supermomblues
First off - thank you all for your suggestions! Your care and thoughtfulness really touches me and makes me really appreciate being a part of this amazing group.
I guess I should have given a little more background -
We potty trained too early for Em - started at 18 months, and she just wasn't ready, so I pushed. This led to her witholding bowl movements, which led to constipation, ecnopresis, etc. We have been on Miralax (2 years), probiotics (a year) and dietary changes (2 years) and nothing has worked. Her body just doesn't respond to it. The reason the suppository works is because of the manual stimulation that happens when it goes in (that sounds so gross . . . SORRY!). We didn't learn until about 6 months ago that she had the "water malabsorbtion" (what her pediatrician calls it) problem. This was after seeing two gastroenterologists that both put her on adult doses of Miralax - neither believed I was actually giving it to her when I told them it wasn't working. So after test after test and ruling out every disorder I can think of, we (her doctor and I) came to this conclusion and decided to not return to any specialists. I believe that there is a lot of truth to it because when she does get the liquids she's supposed to be getting she does have a movement, but she's not very diligent about it yet.
I completely regret the mistakes I have made in the past - namely forcing her to potty train before she was ready then forcing her to take an adult drug to fix the problem I caused. I am hopeful that some of your suggestions will help her and I look forward to talking with her about them today.
I guess I should have given a little more background -
We potty trained too early for Em - started at 18 months, and she just wasn't ready, so I pushed. This led to her witholding bowl movements, which led to constipation, ecnopresis, etc. We have been on Miralax (2 years), probiotics (a year) and dietary changes (2 years) and nothing has worked. Her body just doesn't respond to it. The reason the suppository works is because of the manual stimulation that happens when it goes in (that sounds so gross . . . SORRY!). We didn't learn until about 6 months ago that she had the "water malabsorbtion" (what her pediatrician calls it) problem. This was after seeing two gastroenterologists that both put her on adult doses of Miralax - neither believed I was actually giving it to her when I told them it wasn't working. So after test after test and ruling out every disorder I can think of, we (her doctor and I) came to this conclusion and decided to not return to any specialists. I believe that there is a lot of truth to it because when she does get the liquids she's supposed to be getting she does have a movement, but she's not very diligent about it yet.
I completely regret the mistakes I have made in the past - namely forcing her to potty train before she was ready then forcing her to take an adult drug to fix the problem I caused. I am hopeful that some of your suggestions will help her and I look forward to talking with her about them today.
Rachel Allard
My 8 year old son suffered from withholding, resulting in impaction, stomach cramps and pain, and general discomfort for years. We had also used suppositories when I knew it had been a while since a bowel movement and he was in pain, and these did work to a point, but they were still only helping us in the "crisis" moment, and we weren't finding a way to manage so that he could have regular painless bowel movements.
What finally helped was reading and applying the methods in this book:
The Ins and Outs of Poop: A Guide to Treating Childhood Constipation by Thomas R. Duhamel
I absolutely wholeheartedly recommend it. It is written by a psychologist, so it approaches the problem as first a mental one. It looks kind of goofy, with silly illustrations on the cover, but don't let that put you off. It completely changed our entire experience with poop (and without sounding too dramatic about it, it completely changed our lives).
I would recommend getting the book, reading through it yourself and sharing what you learn with your daughter, if she is receptive (my son was very interested to see some of the diagrams, and it definitely helped him to understand what was happening to create the blockage).
The six-step program starts with completely emptying the rectum by using an enema. Although my son was initially reluctant, he finally agreed. It was amazing how much poop came out of him and how easy and painless the enema was. He actually said later that he liked how it helped all the poop move through him. He much preferred it to the suppositories, in fact.
Then you begin with a daily dose of Miralax (virtually tasteless powder you can mix in any drink), or a similar laxative. He will explain exactly which type works and why. It's then a matter of finding the right daily amount for her to be regular. 7 months later, we are still on a small dosage of it per day, but it has been the most amazing helpful thing for my son. He happily takes his daily dose in his morning tea, and if I forget it, he reminds me.
I was initially reluctant to give a daily dose of a laxative, and I worried he would become reliant on it, but I am so glad I tried it. To counter my fears of what taking a long-term laxative might do to his system (and because it was recommended by our trusted family doctor), we have increased his daily intake of probiotics, and added FOS (Fructooligosaccharide) to his daily supplements to help in overall digestive tract health. We were able to work out a balance so that he very quickly got down to 1 tsp of the Miralax each day (the initial suggested dose is much higher, you will have to experiment to find the right dose), and fairly soon, we are confident we can phase that out and rely on the probiotics and FOS. I tell you this so you can see how things look for us several months out, and hopefully how things will look for you.
I hope this helps.
Rachel
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What finally helped was reading and applying the methods in this book:
The Ins and Outs of Poop: A Guide to Treating Childhood Constipation by Thomas R. Duhamel
I absolutely wholeheartedly recommend it. It is written by a psychologist, so it approaches the problem as first a mental one. It looks kind of goofy, with silly illustrations on the cover, but don't let that put you off. It completely changed our entire experience with poop (and without sounding too dramatic about it, it completely changed our lives).
I would recommend getting the book, reading through it yourself and sharing what you learn with your daughter, if she is receptive (my son was very interested to see some of the diagrams, and it definitely helped him to understand what was happening to create the blockage).
The six-step program starts with completely emptying the rectum by using an enema. Although my son was initially reluctant, he finally agreed. It was amazing how much poop came out of him and how easy and painless the enema was. He actually said later that he liked how it helped all the poop move through him. He much preferred it to the suppositories, in fact.
Then you begin with a daily dose of Miralax (virtually tasteless powder you can mix in any drink), or a similar laxative. He will explain exactly which type works and why. It's then a matter of finding the right daily amount for her to be regular. 7 months later, we are still on a small dosage of it per day, but it has been the most amazing helpful thing for my son. He happily takes his daily dose in his morning tea, and if I forget it, he reminds me.
I was initially reluctant to give a daily dose of a laxative, and I worried he would become reliant on it, but I am so glad I tried it. To counter my fears of what taking a long-term laxative might do to his system (and because it was recommended by our trusted family doctor), we have increased his daily intake of probiotics, and added FOS (Fructooligosaccharide) to his daily supplements to help in overall digestive tract health. We were able to work out a balance so that he very quickly got down to 1 tsp of the Miralax each day (the initial suggested dose is much higher, you will have to experiment to find the right dose), and fairly soon, we are confident we can phase that out and rely on the probiotics and FOS. I tell you this so you can see how things look for us several months out, and hopefully how things will look for you.
I hope this helps.
Rachel
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rachel
Sorry, I just now saw your post explaining that you have tried Miralax with no success. I still think the book might be of some use, but perhaps you have already explored most of the ideas here and have an understanding of what caused the problem to begin with.
My son was in diapers until 7, and it was in large part because he could not control when he had to poop, or even know if he needed to. He was very reluctant to go to a doctor about it, and to be honest, I was a little bit nervous myself, since I was worried that they would see my unschooled, still-in-diapers 5-then 6-then 7 year old and jump to some bad conclusions. So it was this book I used to diagnose and treat him.
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through so much and had such bad experiences with the gastroenterologists, no good results, etc.
I would still suggest adding a probiotic and FOS as supplements. And I wish you and your daughter lots of luck figuring it out.
Rachel
My son was in diapers until 7, and it was in large part because he could not control when he had to poop, or even know if he needed to. He was very reluctant to go to a doctor about it, and to be honest, I was a little bit nervous myself, since I was worried that they would see my unschooled, still-in-diapers 5-then 6-then 7 year old and jump to some bad conclusions. So it was this book I used to diagnose and treat him.
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through so much and had such bad experiences with the gastroenterologists, no good results, etc.
I would still suggest adding a probiotic and FOS as supplements. And I wish you and your daughter lots of luck figuring it out.
Rachel
> This was after seeing two gastroenterologists that both put her on adult doses of Miralax - neither believed I was actually giving it to her when I told them it wasn't working. So after test after test and ruling out every disorder I can think of, we (her doctor and I) came to this conclusion and decided to not return to any specialists. I believe that there is a lot of truth to it because when she does get the liquids she's supposed to be getting she does have a movement, but she's not very diligent about it yet.
>
CASS KOTRBA
-=- We potty trained too early for Em - started at 18 months, and she just wasn't ready, so I pushed. This led to her witholding bowl movements, which led to constipation, ecnopresis, etc.-=-
It seems like she's still getting the message that there's a "problem" in this area. She has learned to think of going to the bathroom as a problem, something painful that she is stuck in a viscous cycle with. She is developing a distrustful relationship with her body due to the continued focus on the "problem". Try to help her separate going to the bathroom from the negative emotions. I know it really helped my daughter when I was able to remove my emotions from her health. In the past when she would "get tight" it would generate a lot of anxiety in me which she was clearly aware of. Up until about a month or so ago she had gotten into a pattern of getting tight almost every night despite being put back on her preventative inhaler. Then I decided that whenever she got tight I would get her the breathing treatment with the same amount of emotion I would have if I was getting her a glass of water. No frustration, sorrow, concern, disappointment, etc. Just "ok, here you go sweetie". We did that for about a month along with other things to make her feel safer and more in control of her environment, etc (we have been unschooling for about 7 months so we've made lots of improvements over that time). There was no obvious change in her symptoms until one day when she discovered the unschoolers minecraft server. She was so excited & engrossed that she spent the whole day on her laptop and turned it off only when she was so tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open. She forgot to get tight that night. Next day, same thing. She spent 10 days on that server with breaks only for eating, sleeping, bathroom and petting kitty. She forgot about the tightness in her chest. After 10 days she took a break from the server to do other things. Only then did she think about it and say "Hey Mom - I haven't gotten tight in a long time!" We had previously talked about the possibility that her emotions were affecting her asthma but she didn't think there was any connection prior to that. I could see all the wheels were turning in her mind but I refrained from saying much or being overly emotional, just saying how happy I was for her. (I didn't want to taint her intuitive learning with my biases and beliefs that may or may not be relevant to her experience.) I do not pretend to know exactly what's happening inside of her but I really think (hope!) that she is figuring it out. She's a pretty bright girl & she's doing great so I just try to keep supporting her and relax and let the warm feeling of love and relief wash over me. Help your daughter forget that she hates going to the bathroom. Help her get to a place where it's just like eating and sleeping, one of the many things we do to take care of our bodies. I can't tell you exactly how to do that but I think knowing that she has choices and then having the freedom to practice those choices without worrying about how mom is feeling about it is a good start. If my daughter can forget to get tight (which I now understand is how she experiences anxiety) then yours can forget that she hates to go to the bathroom. Help her feel like she is in control of her body and not a victim of it.
Another thought - last year when my daughter was 9 she went through a phase when she wanted to use diapers. She had potty trained herself quite young (2) with no pressure from me but it seemed like she felt the need to go back and revisit the issue. She would pee in them and sometimes poop. She was totally in control of the diapers and her decision when and if to use them. I didn't focus a lot of attention on it and after about 6 months she stopped doing it. I know that there was something she needed to work through. Maybe because she potty trained so early or maybe one of a million different reasons. Maybe your daughter needs the freedom to poop outside the box, so to speak! (smiley face)
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It seems like she's still getting the message that there's a "problem" in this area. She has learned to think of going to the bathroom as a problem, something painful that she is stuck in a viscous cycle with. She is developing a distrustful relationship with her body due to the continued focus on the "problem". Try to help her separate going to the bathroom from the negative emotions. I know it really helped my daughter when I was able to remove my emotions from her health. In the past when she would "get tight" it would generate a lot of anxiety in me which she was clearly aware of. Up until about a month or so ago she had gotten into a pattern of getting tight almost every night despite being put back on her preventative inhaler. Then I decided that whenever she got tight I would get her the breathing treatment with the same amount of emotion I would have if I was getting her a glass of water. No frustration, sorrow, concern, disappointment, etc. Just "ok, here you go sweetie". We did that for about a month along with other things to make her feel safer and more in control of her environment, etc (we have been unschooling for about 7 months so we've made lots of improvements over that time). There was no obvious change in her symptoms until one day when she discovered the unschoolers minecraft server. She was so excited & engrossed that she spent the whole day on her laptop and turned it off only when she was so tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open. She forgot to get tight that night. Next day, same thing. She spent 10 days on that server with breaks only for eating, sleeping, bathroom and petting kitty. She forgot about the tightness in her chest. After 10 days she took a break from the server to do other things. Only then did she think about it and say "Hey Mom - I haven't gotten tight in a long time!" We had previously talked about the possibility that her emotions were affecting her asthma but she didn't think there was any connection prior to that. I could see all the wheels were turning in her mind but I refrained from saying much or being overly emotional, just saying how happy I was for her. (I didn't want to taint her intuitive learning with my biases and beliefs that may or may not be relevant to her experience.) I do not pretend to know exactly what's happening inside of her but I really think (hope!) that she is figuring it out. She's a pretty bright girl & she's doing great so I just try to keep supporting her and relax and let the warm feeling of love and relief wash over me. Help your daughter forget that she hates going to the bathroom. Help her get to a place where it's just like eating and sleeping, one of the many things we do to take care of our bodies. I can't tell you exactly how to do that but I think knowing that she has choices and then having the freedom to practice those choices without worrying about how mom is feeling about it is a good start. If my daughter can forget to get tight (which I now understand is how she experiences anxiety) then yours can forget that she hates to go to the bathroom. Help her feel like she is in control of her body and not a victim of it.
Another thought - last year when my daughter was 9 she went through a phase when she wanted to use diapers. She had potty trained herself quite young (2) with no pressure from me but it seemed like she felt the need to go back and revisit the issue. She would pee in them and sometimes poop. She was totally in control of the diapers and her decision when and if to use them. I didn't focus a lot of attention on it and after about 6 months she stopped doing it. I know that there was something she needed to work through. Maybe because she potty trained so early or maybe one of a million different reasons. Maybe your daughter needs the freedom to poop outside the box, so to speak! (smiley face)
-Cass
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen
>>>>>I believe that there is a lot of truth to it because when she does get the liquids she's supposed to be getting she does have a movement, but she's not very diligent about it yet.<<<<<There are fun ways to get more liquids. Ethan really liked these straws:
http://www.amazon.com/FunWares-Fun-Straws-120-Piece-Set/dp/B0036ZBOAQ
If you follow the similar suggestions on that page, you will see there are some pretty fun ideas for drinking with straws.
Usually, wherever Ethan is sitting, I have a glass of water beside him in a cup he likes. Maybe you and your daughter can go cup shopping. There are all kinds of fun ones. Ethan chose a large plastic cup with a lid and straw in blue. His cousin had one when we visited last, and he wanted one too.
A drink Ethan enjoyed making for quite some time was homemade lemonade. We had a lemon press. He loved using that. We would use one lemon, 16 oz of water, a tablespoon of dark maple syrup. Really good!
Lately we have been having a lot of popsicles. Popsicles are fun and easy ways to get more liquids. You and she can make your own too if she would be interested in that.
Alex
>I'm thinking A LOT of Jell-O (maybe fruit juice versions?) and popsicles? My daughter and I both drink more or less depending on the container. I drink more out of water bottles. She has a kid-sized pink CamelBak that is the envy of many adult women we encounter during the day. :)
> There are fun ways to get more liquids.
Alex
Sandra Dodd
-=- I was just worried that it might be a form of coersion - very glad that it's not!
*************-=-
When you're in a medical emergency situation, coercion could be thrust upon you, against your will. Doctors and nurses are not going to be as patient with your child as you are.
When you're at the point that you're about to spend money anyway, and you think an enema is likely to happen, you could pay the $50 or $300 or whatever it might be to have one done by "professionals" (professional enema givers, like in hospitals, I guess) or you could offer your child $30 to go along with it in the privacy of your own home, with a familiar toilet nearby.
Sometimes philosophy and principle can be beyond an immediate situation.
If you can live so that that's less likely to happen, that's good.
Anytime medical or social or legal personnel take over a situation, they're not only not going to care what you think about choices and coercion, they might use the combination of a parent's non-standard beliefs and a social/legal/medical problem as further leverage *against* parental options.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
*************-=-
When you're in a medical emergency situation, coercion could be thrust upon you, against your will. Doctors and nurses are not going to be as patient with your child as you are.
When you're at the point that you're about to spend money anyway, and you think an enema is likely to happen, you could pay the $50 or $300 or whatever it might be to have one done by "professionals" (professional enema givers, like in hospitals, I guess) or you could offer your child $30 to go along with it in the privacy of your own home, with a familiar toilet nearby.
Sometimes philosophy and principle can be beyond an immediate situation.
If you can live so that that's less likely to happen, that's good.
Anytime medical or social or legal personnel take over a situation, they're not only not going to care what you think about choices and coercion, they might use the combination of a parent's non-standard beliefs and a social/legal/medical problem as further leverage *against* parental options.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Maybe your daughter needs the freedom to poop outside the box, so to speak! (smiley face)-=-
Nice. :-)
-=- Help your daughter forget that she hates going to the bathroom. Help her get to a place where it's just like eating and sleeping, one of the many things we do to take care of our bodies.-=-
Some families have created fear, stress and hatred one way or the other around eating or sleeping. And although it's easy to think of sleeping as something we do to take care of our bodies, it's as true to think of it as sleep being something a body naturally does. Animals sleep, somewhere, sometime, for extended periods of time. Nobody can decide NOT to sleep for very long. Bodies fall asleep.
Defecation isn't something people decide to do. It's going to happen somehow, and for some people there are never any problems or issues with that.
Problems can come of people thinking they can fully manage and schedule and control pooping, sleeping, hunger, digestion, and such. Sometimes people block the biological flow. It's a new way to live, to try to keep that flow peaceful and painless.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nice. :-)
-=- Help your daughter forget that she hates going to the bathroom. Help her get to a place where it's just like eating and sleeping, one of the many things we do to take care of our bodies.-=-
Some families have created fear, stress and hatred one way or the other around eating or sleeping. And although it's easy to think of sleeping as something we do to take care of our bodies, it's as true to think of it as sleep being something a body naturally does. Animals sleep, somewhere, sometime, for extended periods of time. Nobody can decide NOT to sleep for very long. Bodies fall asleep.
Defecation isn't something people decide to do. It's going to happen somehow, and for some people there are never any problems or issues with that.
Problems can come of people thinking they can fully manage and schedule and control pooping, sleeping, hunger, digestion, and such. Sometimes people block the biological flow. It's a new way to live, to try to keep that flow peaceful and painless.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Try not to worry too much about the lions and tigers and bears as that fear then taints the overall journey. I think it's better to focus on skipping down the yellow brick road with beloved friends. As you relax and focus more on the journey the answers will become apparent to you in time. Relaxing will give you a better perspective. I think if I had anxiety around pooping and focused my energy on that feeling I would never go either. Taking the pressure off and distracting her thoughts with something happy sounds better.-=-
Relaxing IS good. Happy IS better than afraid.
If they can be happy while adding hydrating elements to their lives, even better!
There's no reason to share all the fears with the child. Just share celery and popsicles while being happy! :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Relaxing IS good. Happy IS better than afraid.
If they can be happy while adding hydrating elements to their lives, even better!
There's no reason to share all the fears with the child. Just share celery and popsicles while being happy! :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hmbpie
Hula hooping is fun AND massages the bowel. It doesn't address her not wanting to use the bathroom, but it may help break up the poop so that it doesn't get impacted. Especially if you get a heavier handmade hoop. Maybe?
I have hula hoops all over my house and my son picks them up on a regular basis to play with. They're kinda irresistible. :)
I have hula hoops all over my house and my son picks them up on a regular basis to play with. They're kinda irresistible. :)
--- In [email protected], "supermomblues" <supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
>
> I know that the issue of chronic constipation has been brought up before, but in doing a search I couldn't find the issue I'm dealing with here.
>
> My daughter (9), like so many, suffers from chronic constipation. It is so bad that she gets a bowel impaction at least once every two or three months. After YEARS (6 years) of tests and treatments that didn't work, we finally discovered that her issue is that her body removes too much water from her food when it digests. What this means for her is that laxatives don't work with her physiology.
>
> When she becomes impacted, it is painful for her. She gets a stomach ache, throws up, and often has a fever with it. Twice, we have ended up in the ER because of it.
>
> Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
>
zurro
We have a lot of experience in this department...Caitlyn is 6 and we have dealt with withholding since she was around 18 months. While it has improved at this point because she is more aware of her body and how she feels after going, we are still working through it.
It sounds like all the years of focus, doctors, hospitals, etc have stressed your daughter and at this point you just need to find ways to have her be more relaxed about it. Just because "she knows what will happen" may not make it any easier for her. My daughter knows that she feels better after going as well, but quite often she still tries to avoid as long as she can. We try to make it low key and low stress - we play games on the iPad if she wants my company and other times she just wants the cat with her :) We have come to the agreement that when she really needs to go but is avoiding we pull out her favorite prunes (the Sun Sweet D'noir prunes are actually quite yummy) and that helps, but it wouldn't help a child who is already severely impacted.
We managed to avoid using Miralax over the years - there were so many other possible things we found that we were able to skip it. Calm Magnesium powder in lemonade or orange juice helps. We chose not to do any fiber powders since she wasn't able to get enough additional liquid into her system to avoid compounding the issue. We used a kids probiotic that had Xylitol in it, daily, which helped quite a bit. In our case cutting down on dairy helped too. We used fish oils, olive oils, popsicles, lemonades, prune juice, and other foods that were naturally high in liquid or oils. We also found using the liquid pedialax was helpful (when she would allow it) because it was more like a regular enema and not a suppository...if you're impacted why add something else?(sorry for the image). In Caitlyn's case, she had some painful poops when she was little and it became a fear issue for her and no matter what we did, she refused to poop and even at one point, drink, because she knew she would have to go on the toilet.
So talk with her about what things might help her. Sandra's leaning on a truck example comes to mind as a way to not focus directly on the issue, but just talk. You might look at some images of various poops - there is a new app on the iPad for an ebook that brings some humor to the subject.
Also, I'm sure you're familiar with the term mega-colon? Basically the colon can sometimes stretch out after years of withholding and take some time to go back to normal so it affects how easy or difficult it is for the body to recognize signals to go, so she simply may really not recognize when it's time to go.
Laura Z
It sounds like all the years of focus, doctors, hospitals, etc have stressed your daughter and at this point you just need to find ways to have her be more relaxed about it. Just because "she knows what will happen" may not make it any easier for her. My daughter knows that she feels better after going as well, but quite often she still tries to avoid as long as she can. We try to make it low key and low stress - we play games on the iPad if she wants my company and other times she just wants the cat with her :) We have come to the agreement that when she really needs to go but is avoiding we pull out her favorite prunes (the Sun Sweet D'noir prunes are actually quite yummy) and that helps, but it wouldn't help a child who is already severely impacted.
We managed to avoid using Miralax over the years - there were so many other possible things we found that we were able to skip it. Calm Magnesium powder in lemonade or orange juice helps. We chose not to do any fiber powders since she wasn't able to get enough additional liquid into her system to avoid compounding the issue. We used a kids probiotic that had Xylitol in it, daily, which helped quite a bit. In our case cutting down on dairy helped too. We used fish oils, olive oils, popsicles, lemonades, prune juice, and other foods that were naturally high in liquid or oils. We also found using the liquid pedialax was helpful (when she would allow it) because it was more like a regular enema and not a suppository...if you're impacted why add something else?(sorry for the image). In Caitlyn's case, she had some painful poops when she was little and it became a fear issue for her and no matter what we did, she refused to poop and even at one point, drink, because she knew she would have to go on the toilet.
So talk with her about what things might help her. Sandra's leaning on a truck example comes to mind as a way to not focus directly on the issue, but just talk. You might look at some images of various poops - there is a new app on the iPad for an ebook that brings some humor to the subject.
Also, I'm sure you're familiar with the term mega-colon? Basically the colon can sometimes stretch out after years of withholding and take some time to go back to normal so it affects how easy or difficult it is for the body to recognize signals to go, so she simply may really not recognize when it's time to go.
Laura Z
--- In [email protected], "supermomblues" <supermom2jakeandemmy@...> wrote:
>
> Herein lies the problem - the ONLY treatment that works for her to relieve and impaction is a laxative suppository. Not surprisingly, she does not like this treatment. She KNOWS what will happen if she doesn't allow us to give it to her, but she still refuses. This is a potentially dangerous situation - children have died because of impactions that weren't removed.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage her with her treatments without coercion or forcing it on her? I am trying to let go and let her make her own decisions, but in this case it is very, very hard because she is literally hurting herself. Thank you in advance.
>