The effect in older kids
Sandra Dodd
I want to tell a story, and it's like a brag, but it wasn't something I did (not this week).
Holly has been on a road trip with her boyfriend, to visit his brother in Arcata, where he's living going to Humbolt College in far northern California they stayed with other friends along the way, and are on their way back today.
Here's a really nice photo of them: http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2013/03/holly-and-will-in-redwoods.html
Marty and his girlfriend are on a roadtrip, because he broke his arm and she's between jobs. He's on medical leave from work, it's spring break from the college, and he might as well be sitting in a car as sitting at the house. They were in Carson City, Nevada yesterday, at a museum and a laundromat and probably other places. :-) They've gone to ghost towns and historic sites, a casino in Las Vegas (a place more familiar to them than the rest), and will be in Colorado tomorrow, I think, visiting friends and shopping for cheese. :-)
But here's the good part. They've called us. Marty twice, and Holly three times, just to let us know they're okay, and where they are. I've gotten photos in texts, and am following Holly's progress by twitter and photobucket uploads.
Marty is 24 and Holly is 21. They don't "have to" call us. They want to call us.
I wouldn't have predicted this, 20 years ago, but I'm predicting it now for other families who can maintain close relationships and trust and friendship with their children.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Holly has been on a road trip with her boyfriend, to visit his brother in Arcata, where he's living going to Humbolt College in far northern California they stayed with other friends along the way, and are on their way back today.
Here's a really nice photo of them: http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2013/03/holly-and-will-in-redwoods.html
Marty and his girlfriend are on a roadtrip, because he broke his arm and she's between jobs. He's on medical leave from work, it's spring break from the college, and he might as well be sitting in a car as sitting at the house. They were in Carson City, Nevada yesterday, at a museum and a laundromat and probably other places. :-) They've gone to ghost towns and historic sites, a casino in Las Vegas (a place more familiar to them than the rest), and will be in Colorado tomorrow, I think, visiting friends and shopping for cheese. :-)
But here's the good part. They've called us. Marty twice, and Holly three times, just to let us know they're okay, and where they are. I've gotten photos in texts, and am following Holly's progress by twitter and photobucket uploads.
Marty is 24 and Holly is 21. They don't "have to" call us. They want to call us.
I wouldn't have predicted this, 20 years ago, but I'm predicting it now for other families who can maintain close relationships and trust and friendship with their children.
Sandra
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Pam Sorooshian
On Sat, Mar 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
relationship I have with my grown children is not all that usual.
I told this on the radical unschooling info facebook page, but then saw
what Sandra had posted here and thought it was relevant (so I apologize to
those seeing it twice).
Last night two college girls were working for me in the box office (I'm the
box office manager for the college). We were talking and I asked them what
they would want their mother to do for them if they'd had a big
disappointment. One girl said, "Nothing. I probably wouldn't even tell my
mom." The other girl laughed and agreed.
Just at that moment I got a text from my 22 year old, Rose. She's up in the
mountains at a camp with other college students. She was texting to let me
know she'd arrived safely and was all unpacked and everything was fine.
She didn't have to do that and I really wasn't expecting it. But she knew
I'd be very happy to know.
-pam sorooshian
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> I wouldn't have predicted this, 20 years ago, but I'm predicting it nowI usually take it for granted - but sometimes I'm reminded that the
> for other families who can maintain close relationships and trust and
> friendship with their children.>>
relationship I have with my grown children is not all that usual.
I told this on the radical unschooling info facebook page, but then saw
what Sandra had posted here and thought it was relevant (so I apologize to
those seeing it twice).
Last night two college girls were working for me in the box office (I'm the
box office manager for the college). We were talking and I asked them what
they would want their mother to do for them if they'd had a big
disappointment. One girl said, "Nothing. I probably wouldn't even tell my
mom." The other girl laughed and agreed.
Just at that moment I got a text from my 22 year old, Rose. She's up in the
mountains at a camp with other college students. She was texting to let me
know she'd arrived safely and was all unpacked and everything was fine.
She didn't have to do that and I really wasn't expecting it. But she knew
I'd be very happy to know.
-pam sorooshian
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Pam Sorooshian posted something in Radical Unschooling Info (on facebook) that matches what I reported about my kids calling home.
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Last night, two college students working in the box office with me. I asked them, "If you had a big disappointment, what would you want your mom to do to help you?" They both looked at me funny and one said, "Nothing. I probably wouldn't even tell my mom." The other laughed and agreed.
Just then Rose, who is up at a camp up in the mountains for the weekend with other college students, texted me to say she'd arrived safely. I didn't expect her to do that, but she knew I'd be happy to know it.
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Last night, two college students working in the box office with me. I asked them, "If you had a big disappointment, what would you want your mom to do to help you?" They both looked at me funny and one said, "Nothing. I probably wouldn't even tell my mom." The other laughed and agreed.
Just then Rose, who is up at a camp up in the mountains for the weekend with other college students, texted me to say she'd arrived safely. I didn't expect her to do that, but she knew I'd be happy to know it.
--------
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Sandra Dodd
Sorry for those who saw Pam's writing THREE times, but it seemed really important.
Maybe there are lots of people whose grown children contact them casually and often, and maybe what we're writing about isn't such a big deal. Maybe.
Sandra
Maybe there are lots of people whose grown children contact them casually and often, and maybe what we're writing about isn't such a big deal. Maybe.
Sandra
Jenny Cyphers
> ***I wouldn't have predicted this, 20 years ago, but I'm predicting it now for other families who can maintain close relationships and trust and friendship with their children.***What I've come to really appreciate is that my adult daughter really and truly cares how I feel. She cares about my comfort and discomfort. When we are out and about together, she doesn't want to do things that would bring negative attention to me. It's kind of a big deal only because she's a very stand out sort of person. I like that she thinks about and is considerate of others. She has a quiet sort of respectfulness about her in all the right places in public.
>
A lot of her friends, although lovely people, aren't that way at all. They have a selfish loudness about them. I don't know how else to describe this.
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