Believe nothing ....
Joyce Fetteroll
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." ~ Buddha
I've been reading Pam Laricchia's great set of unschooling introductory emails.
http://livingjoyfully.ca/newsletter/
The above quote was in today's.
Occasionally we're accused of wanting people to blindly follow what we say. I suspect how information gets presented -- in a very confident, "Don't do that. Do this instead," (followed by a Why that may not get absorbed) -- can make it feel that way.
While we don't want anyone to unquestioningly believe what's said here, what's said here is often counter to what most people believe is true. For example, that kids won't eat nothing but candy, that kids will learn math without instruction, that kids won't be lazy and selfish if they're not made to do chores.
So ideas here often *won't* agree with your reason or common sense. Merely judging the merit of an idea offered here based on whether it jibes with what you already know often won't work.
What it takes is trying it. It will take letting go of your old ideas *temporarily* to objectively try out what's being suggested. (Empty your tea cup.) With some ideas, you'll see immediate results. With some you may not. If a child's sugar or TV has been controlled, the child's fear they must fill up before the limitations return may persist for months. It will *look* like your worst fears are confirmed!
You don't need to believe in order to try something. It helps, though, to find people you trust so you're not trying something that will waste your time or be potentially harmful.
That's one of the reasons why Sandra talks about integrity and honesty often. It's important that people be able to trust what's said here. We're asking you to trust your children's happiness, learning and your relationship with them to what's said here.
It's also why so many of us feel compelled to jump on suggestions that a family finds works for them but goes against how humans in general like to be treated. We want people to be able to trust what's said here enough to try it long enough for it to work. But ultimately we want people to come to know the ideas work from their own experience and understanding rather than believing us when we say it works.
Joyce
I've been reading Pam Laricchia's great set of unschooling introductory emails.
http://livingjoyfully.ca/newsletter/
The above quote was in today's.
Occasionally we're accused of wanting people to blindly follow what we say. I suspect how information gets presented -- in a very confident, "Don't do that. Do this instead," (followed by a Why that may not get absorbed) -- can make it feel that way.
While we don't want anyone to unquestioningly believe what's said here, what's said here is often counter to what most people believe is true. For example, that kids won't eat nothing but candy, that kids will learn math without instruction, that kids won't be lazy and selfish if they're not made to do chores.
So ideas here often *won't* agree with your reason or common sense. Merely judging the merit of an idea offered here based on whether it jibes with what you already know often won't work.
What it takes is trying it. It will take letting go of your old ideas *temporarily* to objectively try out what's being suggested. (Empty your tea cup.) With some ideas, you'll see immediate results. With some you may not. If a child's sugar or TV has been controlled, the child's fear they must fill up before the limitations return may persist for months. It will *look* like your worst fears are confirmed!
You don't need to believe in order to try something. It helps, though, to find people you trust so you're not trying something that will waste your time or be potentially harmful.
That's one of the reasons why Sandra talks about integrity and honesty often. It's important that people be able to trust what's said here. We're asking you to trust your children's happiness, learning and your relationship with them to what's said here.
It's also why so many of us feel compelled to jump on suggestions that a family finds works for them but goes against how humans in general like to be treated. We want people to be able to trust what's said here enough to try it long enough for it to work. But ultimately we want people to come to know the ideas work from their own experience and understanding rather than believing us when we say it works.
Joyce
Sandra Dodd
-=-That's one of the reasons why Sandra talks about integrity and honesty often. It's important that people be able to trust what's said here. We're asking you to trust your children's happiness, learning and your relationship with them to what's said here.-=-
Well there are a few ways to think about that. It's possible to learn things without trusting the people at all. If something makes sense and clicks right in where someone was ready to "get it," then they take a step in the direction they want to go.
If, though, they're as baffled as Joyce described, so that it all seems wrong and crazy, it can help for the reader to find out more about some of the people who are writing. Some people care a lot about whether the writers are reliable sources. Some people care less, or maybe not at all.
http://sandradodd.com/issues/vibrations.html
That's something from a while back. I ran across it lately. What I did find out was the the person only had two children, both younger than school age. In real life, in person, if her kids were there and my kids were there, I don't think she wouldn't have been telling anyone what was necessary for unschooling to work, because people wouldn't have been asking her.
It's an oddity, about online life. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Well there are a few ways to think about that. It's possible to learn things without trusting the people at all. If something makes sense and clicks right in where someone was ready to "get it," then they take a step in the direction they want to go.
If, though, they're as baffled as Joyce described, so that it all seems wrong and crazy, it can help for the reader to find out more about some of the people who are writing. Some people care a lot about whether the writers are reliable sources. Some people care less, or maybe not at all.
http://sandradodd.com/issues/vibrations.html
That's something from a while back. I ran across it lately. What I did find out was the the person only had two children, both younger than school age. In real life, in person, if her kids were there and my kids were there, I don't think she wouldn't have been telling anyone what was necessary for unschooling to work, because people wouldn't have been asking her.
It's an oddity, about online life. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]