Fears
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/14/02 12:19:45 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
I need to clarify that last statement...two triathletes were injured in the
Gulf Shores incident (summer 2000), Jesses uncle was not injured, just
involved because of saving Jesse. You probably knew that, but my last
statement sounded confusing!
Sorry.
Ren
[email protected] writes:
I need to clarify that last statement...two triathletes were injured in the
Gulf Shores incident (summer 2000), Jesses uncle was not injured, just
involved because of saving Jesse. You probably knew that, but my last
statement sounded confusing!
Sorry.
Ren
[email protected]
Hi Sandra,
I can certainly relate to your fears, having my children learning at home now
for over 20 years. I know some people think that I KNOW what I am doing at
all times, and have no worry about the outcome. This isn't true!
What I have come to believe is that having the kids at home has advantages
(So many - as we know), but they still are outside the "normal" culture, and
there are things that they won't have in their lives that we did because we
attended school.
My kids were so surprised when they went to college and found out they
weren't dumb. I had told them they weren't, but somehow it doesn't count as
much when the person telling you is your parent.
I wasn't surprised when my two reader/writer kids did well, but now my
athletic son seems to be getting all A's too. And even more importantly is
really LEARNING while he is there. It helps that he is older (29), and
totally focused the same way he does with his diving.
The son that is raking in the money as a journeyman for heating/air
conditioning seems to have lots of responsibility at his job (being put in
charge of projects), so he too is a high functioning young adult (age 24).
In all this time I haven't had many brushes with the law. Once long ago CA
tried to crack down on homeschoolers, and they all banded together, so it
came out fine. Last year my youngest son was picked up in a local truancy
sweep (the people at the drop site were questioning that he wasn't able to
fill out their form - (since he had just learned to read, and still isn't
writing much (now age 14) that didn't look good), but they hadn't checked the
local rules that exempted homeschoolers from the truancy laws. Trevor's Dad
found this information out after we recovered Trevor from the authorities.
The experience seemed to shake me up much more than it did Trevor.
I love being with people who believe that the choices that I've made for the
kids has been a wise one. Sometimes that hasn't happened. My Mom told me
she was glad I was writing a book about homeschooling, so she could read it,
and maybe finally understand what I've been doing. I don't think this will
happen :-) - the understanding that is--
Having strong opinions and living your choices can leave you an open target.
That's when the support of friends can really be wonderful. That is what you
have on this list.
We all want the very best for our children, and it is difficult to be
confident in our choices at all times. All I can say is that now that four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults.
Hugs to you --
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I can certainly relate to your fears, having my children learning at home now
for over 20 years. I know some people think that I KNOW what I am doing at
all times, and have no worry about the outcome. This isn't true!
What I have come to believe is that having the kids at home has advantages
(So many - as we know), but they still are outside the "normal" culture, and
there are things that they won't have in their lives that we did because we
attended school.
My kids were so surprised when they went to college and found out they
weren't dumb. I had told them they weren't, but somehow it doesn't count as
much when the person telling you is your parent.
I wasn't surprised when my two reader/writer kids did well, but now my
athletic son seems to be getting all A's too. And even more importantly is
really LEARNING while he is there. It helps that he is older (29), and
totally focused the same way he does with his diving.
The son that is raking in the money as a journeyman for heating/air
conditioning seems to have lots of responsibility at his job (being put in
charge of projects), so he too is a high functioning young adult (age 24).
In all this time I haven't had many brushes with the law. Once long ago CA
tried to crack down on homeschoolers, and they all banded together, so it
came out fine. Last year my youngest son was picked up in a local truancy
sweep (the people at the drop site were questioning that he wasn't able to
fill out their form - (since he had just learned to read, and still isn't
writing much (now age 14) that didn't look good), but they hadn't checked the
local rules that exempted homeschoolers from the truancy laws. Trevor's Dad
found this information out after we recovered Trevor from the authorities.
The experience seemed to shake me up much more than it did Trevor.
I love being with people who believe that the choices that I've made for the
kids has been a wise one. Sometimes that hasn't happened. My Mom told me
she was glad I was writing a book about homeschooling, so she could read it,
and maybe finally understand what I've been doing. I don't think this will
happen :-) - the understanding that is--
Having strong opinions and living your choices can leave you an open target.
That's when the support of friends can really be wonderful. That is what you
have on this list.
We all want the very best for our children, and it is difficult to be
confident in our choices at all times. All I can say is that now that four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults.
Hugs to you --
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Falbe
Connie: Thank you for sharing this entire e-mail (although I snipped it
to reply).Yesterday I encountered a 40 minute "conversation" with my
mother about why homeschooling is not the right thing for my children
(she knows best of course), why I'm not competent (nor is my husband in
her eyes) to "educate" my own children. I responded very differently
this time and didn't argue. I'm hoping that next time the topic comes
up I'll be able to hang up the phone in the first 5 mins while saying
something like "oops one of the kids needs me, I'll talk to you later"..
I'm getting there, but I think this is a lifetime thing to get unemeshed
with my mother.
It's good to hear that it can be done and even those who been doing it
for 20 years had to go through the questioning of themselves and others
and she hung in there.
Thanks again Connie.. It has helped me no end.
Dawn
-----Original Message-----
From: conniecolten@... [mailto:conniecolten@...]
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 7:23 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Fears
I can certainly relate to your fears, having my children learning at
home now
for over 20 years. I know some people think that I KNOW what I am doing
at
all times, and have no worry about the outcome. This isn't true!
We all want the very best for our children, and it is difficult to be
confident in our choices at all times. All I can say is that now that
four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they
were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to reply).Yesterday I encountered a 40 minute "conversation" with my
mother about why homeschooling is not the right thing for my children
(she knows best of course), why I'm not competent (nor is my husband in
her eyes) to "educate" my own children. I responded very differently
this time and didn't argue. I'm hoping that next time the topic comes
up I'll be able to hang up the phone in the first 5 mins while saying
something like "oops one of the kids needs me, I'll talk to you later"..
I'm getting there, but I think this is a lifetime thing to get unemeshed
with my mother.
It's good to hear that it can be done and even those who been doing it
for 20 years had to go through the questioning of themselves and others
and she hung in there.
Thanks again Connie.. It has helped me no end.
Dawn
-----Original Message-----
From: conniecolten@... [mailto:conniecolten@...]
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 7:23 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Fears
I can certainly relate to your fears, having my children learning at
home now
for over 20 years. I know some people think that I KNOW what I am doing
at
all times, and have no worry about the outcome. This isn't true!
We all want the very best for our children, and it is difficult to be
confident in our choices at all times. All I can say is that now that
four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they
were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/24/03 7:25:06 AM, conniecolten@... writes:
<< All I can say is that now that four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults. >>
Thanks for the reassurance, Connie!
I see it the potential success with my kids, but it's little, because they're
still home.
I really liked reading where your kids are at the moment, and that the diver
has A's too.
Not that "A's" are a goal, but it might be making him feel societally right
and good and legit, if he ever did have those doubts.
Sandra
<< All I can say is that now that four
of the five kids are out in the world I truly feel that the way they were
raised helps them to find their path, and develop as young adults. >>
Thanks for the reassurance, Connie!
I see it the potential success with my kids, but it's little, because they're
still home.
I really liked reading where your kids are at the moment, and that the diver
has A's too.
Not that "A's" are a goal, but it might be making him feel societally right
and good and legit, if he ever did have those doubts.
Sandra
[email protected]
It's so important to talk about our fears with one another. Otherwise we're
in danger of thinking that everyone else out there is doing it right and
we're just lame.
I worry that Julian will never decide to learn more structured math and
writing, and then decide he wants to go to college, and not get in, and will
blame me for not making him learn it.
I always tell new homeschoolers that EVERYONE has those "Oh my god! What have
I done to my child's life?!" moments, but that they pass. I almost never get
them anymore, which is nice. (Someone today called her style of homeschooling
"Unschooling with Panic Attacks." They unschool and periodically Mom has a
panic attack and brings out work sheets. Her kids told me that they don't
take them seriously, and that they make a nice change of pace for the twenty
minutes they're around, and they all know it's just Mom's Stuff. And Mom
always apologizes later.)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in danger of thinking that everyone else out there is doing it right and
we're just lame.
I worry that Julian will never decide to learn more structured math and
writing, and then decide he wants to go to college, and not get in, and will
blame me for not making him learn it.
I always tell new homeschoolers that EVERYONE has those "Oh my god! What have
I done to my child's life?!" moments, but that they pass. I almost never get
them anymore, which is nice. (Someone today called her style of homeschooling
"Unschooling with Panic Attacks." They unschool and periodically Mom has a
panic attack and brings out work sheets. Her kids told me that they don't
take them seriously, and that they make a nice change of pace for the twenty
minutes they're around, and they all know it's just Mom's Stuff. And Mom
always apologizes later.)
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Falbe
Thanks so much everyone for the feedback on the fears. It has helped
dissipate a lot of them. I think talking about them and hearing what
others have to say helps those fears become less powerful.
Dawn F
Tucson, AZ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dissipate a lot of them. I think talking about them and hearing what
others have to say helps those fears become less powerful.
Dawn F
Tucson, AZ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]