changing attitudes about bedtime
ipsscm
I wrote this as a thank you for Sandra and all the other wonderful people quoted on her website. It can be shared or not.
I have a story about bedtime. My daughter is now five and a half. When she was about three and a half, it was decided (by the adults in the household) that she needed to start learning how to go to sleep on her own. We'd nurse, then lie down and I'd pretend to be asleep. The general idea was to make it so boring she'd fall asleep quickly. Didn't work.
What really happened was that she got tremendously upset. I got incredibly frustrated. Why couldn't she just GO TO SLEEP?!? Didn't she know it was her bedtime and I had things to do and rather wanted to sleep myself? Luckily for us both, that was about the time I really started reading Sandra Dodd's website and actually THINKING about what I was reading.
From my daughter's point of view, we were going from the wonderful, cuddling closeness of nursing to me being gone. I was there physically, but in every other way I'd departed the room. How awful for her! I'd be upset too.
So bedtimes changed. We still nursed, until she weaned. Then we lay down and cuddled and talked quietly. She didn't always fall asleep more quickly, but often she did (and does). More importantly, she fell asleep on a happy note rather than a very, very sad one. I've come to value that time with her. She says the most amazing things when she's relaxing and getting ready for sleep. We pretend to be fairies or she asks me questions about numbers or tells me which of her stuffed monkeys are spider monkeys and which one is a lion tamarin.
I know that she will, in her own time, fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. In the meantime, we're building happy memories for us both.
I have a story about bedtime. My daughter is now five and a half. When she was about three and a half, it was decided (by the adults in the household) that she needed to start learning how to go to sleep on her own. We'd nurse, then lie down and I'd pretend to be asleep. The general idea was to make it so boring she'd fall asleep quickly. Didn't work.
What really happened was that she got tremendously upset. I got incredibly frustrated. Why couldn't she just GO TO SLEEP?!? Didn't she know it was her bedtime and I had things to do and rather wanted to sleep myself? Luckily for us both, that was about the time I really started reading Sandra Dodd's website and actually THINKING about what I was reading.
From my daughter's point of view, we were going from the wonderful, cuddling closeness of nursing to me being gone. I was there physically, but in every other way I'd departed the room. How awful for her! I'd be upset too.
So bedtimes changed. We still nursed, until she weaned. Then we lay down and cuddled and talked quietly. She didn't always fall asleep more quickly, but often she did (and does). More importantly, she fell asleep on a happy note rather than a very, very sad one. I've come to value that time with her. She says the most amazing things when she's relaxing and getting ready for sleep. We pretend to be fairies or she asks me questions about numbers or tells me which of her stuffed monkeys are spider monkeys and which one is a lion tamarin.
I know that she will, in her own time, fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. In the meantime, we're building happy memories for us both.
Sandra Dodd
-=-I know that she will, in her own time, fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. In the meantime, we're building happy memories for us both.-=-
This is as sweet as can be. Thank you VERY much for sharing it. I'll find a place on my sleep pages for it, and for those who didn't know there were sleep pages, they're here:
http://sandradodd.com/sleep
http://sandradodd.com/sleeping
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This is as sweet as can be. Thank you VERY much for sharing it. I'll find a place on my sleep pages for it, and for those who didn't know there were sleep pages, they're here:
http://sandradodd.com/sleep
http://sandradodd.com/sleeping
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]