Looking after belongings
jofielding
I'm struggling to help my 7 year old look after our things, and especially finding it hard to handle it when he breaks things.
He isn't particularly careful and plays with toys with gusto. New toys often get broken within a week.
In particular I'm feeling upset about electronic breakages. We got my 7 year old and 4 year old an Innotab for christmas. It broke after 6 months. We talked with our son about treating our belongings carefully (again).
We replaced it with a Google Nexus as we got a good deal on the preorder. They both loved it, played lots of games, watched Netflix, youtube etc. Then the screen got smashed when he was watching it in bed. They'd had it for a couple of weeks.
I feel so frustrated about it. We are not well off and don't have the money for another replacement. Fixing the screen will cost almost as much as buying a new one. Our insurance covers it but there's a £100 excess. I'm sad for my 4 year old, that another thing that was hers too has been broken. I'm sad for my 7 year old, and really cross at the same time. I have an unproductive stream of consciousness about it (he's ungrateful, he doesn't deserve anything nice if he breaks things so frequently) and I need some help to change this. It's really affecting how I'm being with him at the moment.
Jo
He isn't particularly careful and plays with toys with gusto. New toys often get broken within a week.
In particular I'm feeling upset about electronic breakages. We got my 7 year old and 4 year old an Innotab for christmas. It broke after 6 months. We talked with our son about treating our belongings carefully (again).
We replaced it with a Google Nexus as we got a good deal on the preorder. They both loved it, played lots of games, watched Netflix, youtube etc. Then the screen got smashed when he was watching it in bed. They'd had it for a couple of weeks.
I feel so frustrated about it. We are not well off and don't have the money for another replacement. Fixing the screen will cost almost as much as buying a new one. Our insurance covers it but there's a £100 excess. I'm sad for my 4 year old, that another thing that was hers too has been broken. I'm sad for my 7 year old, and really cross at the same time. I have an unproductive stream of consciousness about it (he's ungrateful, he doesn't deserve anything nice if he breaks things so frequently) and I need some help to change this. It's really affecting how I'm being with him at the moment.
Jo
Joyce Fetteroll
On Sep 11, 2012, at 3:51 AM, jofielding wrote:
It's possible he'll always be somewhat oblivious but he will get better as he gets older and his brain develops more. You can't rush this any more than you can rush walking. You can, though, in the meantime, make him feel a failure at being the child you wish he was.
Instead of trying to fix him, fix the environment. Be more present. *You* be the keeper of the things you don't want broken. Let him know you now realize that he can't *yet* be aware enough not to be rough with it. And you'd like to help it last.
Buy sturdier toys. Get more big muscle movement in during the day. Shop at Goodwill and yard sales. When you're shopping ask him if he thinks something is sturdy enough to last a good long while. Point out any weaknesses you notice. Ask his opinion about them. And if the toy doesn't last, be his partner in that decisions making process. You can say "I guess it wasn't sturdy enough. We'll have to do more checking and testing next time.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> He isn't particularly careful and plays with toys with gusto.This isn't a matter of not understanding. It's how his brain is wired. He isn't *yet* able to be aware of what he's doing. He's so focused on the game or something else that's going on that he's oblivious to his environment.
> New toys often get broken within a week.
It's possible he'll always be somewhat oblivious but he will get better as he gets older and his brain develops more. You can't rush this any more than you can rush walking. You can, though, in the meantime, make him feel a failure at being the child you wish he was.
Instead of trying to fix him, fix the environment. Be more present. *You* be the keeper of the things you don't want broken. Let him know you now realize that he can't *yet* be aware enough not to be rough with it. And you'd like to help it last.
Buy sturdier toys. Get more big muscle movement in during the day. Shop at Goodwill and yard sales. When you're shopping ask him if he thinks something is sturdy enough to last a good long while. Point out any weaknesses you notice. Ask his opinion about them. And if the toy doesn't last, be his partner in that decisions making process. You can say "I guess it wasn't sturdy enough. We'll have to do more checking and testing next time.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Shop at Goodwill and yard sales.-=-
That would be charity shops and carboot sales.
I've heard that there will be unbreakable screens (or less breakable screens) on some tablet computers soon (maybe there already are).
Beds seem soft, but then they're flexible, and something solid can be broken by an elbow or by rolling over on it.
Kirby used to break video game controllers. I think he broke three or four of them, and they were $30 apiece which for us, at the time, was a lot of money. I got angry, the first few times, and then realized they were fragile things and he was exuberant and easily frustrated. When Marty broke them, it was when he was older, and he just wore them out by careful but constant use.
Kids are different. People are different.
We have pop-up books that lasted through many viewings. Some kids break them the first day.
It's helpful to know your child's actual abilities and traits, rather than wondering what a seven- or four-year-old child can/should/will do.
This jumped out at me, though:
-=- I'm sad for my 4 year old, that another thing that was hers too has been broken-=-
Shared valuables is a disaster waiting to happen.
If there's something valuable, let it be yours. Then you get to graciously allow its use, on your terms, and politely take it back and put it up in a safe place when people are done, or getting rough.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
That would be charity shops and carboot sales.
I've heard that there will be unbreakable screens (or less breakable screens) on some tablet computers soon (maybe there already are).
Beds seem soft, but then they're flexible, and something solid can be broken by an elbow or by rolling over on it.
Kirby used to break video game controllers. I think he broke three or four of them, and they were $30 apiece which for us, at the time, was a lot of money. I got angry, the first few times, and then realized they were fragile things and he was exuberant and easily frustrated. When Marty broke them, it was when he was older, and he just wore them out by careful but constant use.
Kids are different. People are different.
We have pop-up books that lasted through many viewings. Some kids break them the first day.
It's helpful to know your child's actual abilities and traits, rather than wondering what a seven- or four-year-old child can/should/will do.
This jumped out at me, though:
-=- I'm sad for my 4 year old, that another thing that was hers too has been broken-=-
Shared valuables is a disaster waiting to happen.
If there's something valuable, let it be yours. Then you get to graciously allow its use, on your terms, and politely take it back and put it up in a safe place when people are done, or getting rough.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jo Isaac
==I've heard that there will be unbreakable screens (or less breakable screens) on some tablet computers soon (maybe there already are)==
Panasonic make a 'toughbook' notebook/laptop (apparently shockproof, waterproof, drop-proof, etc) - but they are very expensive. Other brands probaby do something similar - might be worth looking on ebay or something?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Panasonic make a 'toughbook' notebook/laptop (apparently shockproof, waterproof, drop-proof, etc) - but they are very expensive. Other brands probaby do something similar - might be worth looking on ebay or something?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Some people are just like that. My husband is like that and he takes as much care as possible.
Just yesterday he hit a tree with his new gator. Luckily it did not break anything because this time they got one with super protection thingies that really protect it!
His Iphone I bought an Otter Box cover that has a hard case and a rubber case around it plus a screen protection. So far so good. He has gotten better with cel phones. We used to replace one every few months.
Can you find some things that help him like that. THe other thing I always did,still do is take care of the stuff for them and help them with reminders.
My son's keyboards get trashed every six months. It just happens. Since I have stepped over my laptop twice and broken the screen twice , and I am careful, I understand that stuff happens so even my Iphone has an Otter box cover just in case.
Electronics break easy.
I also get replacement plans when I buy electronics. All of our gaming systems and computers have those replacements protection plans. It has been great and I have used them!! They have paid off for me.
Is there something like that you can purchase for their electronics?
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Just yesterday he hit a tree with his new gator. Luckily it did not break anything because this time they got one with super protection thingies that really protect it!
His Iphone I bought an Otter Box cover that has a hard case and a rubber case around it plus a screen protection. So far so good. He has gotten better with cel phones. We used to replace one every few months.
Can you find some things that help him like that. THe other thing I always did,still do is take care of the stuff for them and help them with reminders.
My son's keyboards get trashed every six months. It just happens. Since I have stepped over my laptop twice and broken the screen twice , and I am careful, I understand that stuff happens so even my Iphone has an Otter box cover just in case.
Electronics break easy.
I also get replacement plans when I buy electronics. All of our gaming systems and computers have those replacements protection plans. It has been great and I have used them!! They have paid off for me.
Is there something like that you can purchase for their electronics?
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Sharkey
Our (secondhand) Ipad is in an I-Guy case by speck. http://www.speckproducts.com/iguy-for-ipad.html
It doesn't protect the screen but makes it much easier for our little ones to handle and spot (ie not drop or loose beneath a blanket) and offers bounce protection...so far so good.
Dawn
________________________________
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, 11 September 2012, 14:30
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Looking after belongings
Some people are just like that. My husband is like that and he takes as much care as possible.
Just yesterday he hit a tree with his new gator. Luckily it did not break anything because this time they got one with super protection thingies that really protect it!
His Iphone I bought an Otter Box cover that has a hard case and a rubber case around it plus a screen protection. So far so good. He has gotten better with cel phones. We used to replace one every few months.
Can you find some things that help him like that. THe other thing I always did,still do is take care of the stuff for them and help them with reminders.
My son's keyboards get trashed every six months. It just happens. Since I have stepped over my laptop twice and broken the screen twice , and I am careful, I understand that stuff happens so even my Iphone has an Otter box cover just in case.
Electronics break easy.
I also get replacement plans when I buy electronics. All of our gaming systems and computers have those replacements protection plans. It has been great and I have used them!! They have paid off for me.
Is there something like that you can purchase for their electronics?
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It doesn't protect the screen but makes it much easier for our little ones to handle and spot (ie not drop or loose beneath a blanket) and offers bounce protection...so far so good.
Dawn
________________________________
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, 11 September 2012, 14:30
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Looking after belongings
Some people are just like that. My husband is like that and he takes as much care as possible.
Just yesterday he hit a tree with his new gator. Luckily it did not break anything because this time they got one with super protection thingies that really protect it!
His Iphone I bought an Otter Box cover that has a hard case and a rubber case around it plus a screen protection. So far so good. He has gotten better with cel phones. We used to replace one every few months.
Can you find some things that help him like that. THe other thing I always did,still do is take care of the stuff for them and help them with reminders.
My son's keyboards get trashed every six months. It just happens. Since I have stepped over my laptop twice and broken the screen twice , and I am careful, I understand that stuff happens so even my Iphone has an Otter box cover just in case.
Electronics break easy.
I also get replacement plans when I buy electronics. All of our gaming systems and computers have those replacements protection plans. It has been great and I have used them!! They have paid off for me.
Is there something like that you can purchase for their electronics?
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
> ==I've heard that there will be unbreakable screens (or less breakable screens) on some tablet computers soon (maybe there already are)==I wonder if there are also cases/covers that would protect from roughness. You can get a destruction proof case for the iPhone that can even be used under something like 6 feet of water.
>
> Panasonic make a 'toughbook' notebook/laptop (apparently shockproof, waterproof, drop-proof, etc) - but they are very expensive. Other brands probaby do something similar - might be worth looking on ebay or something?
>
Alysia
haydee deldenovese
I must say I can understand the frustration, because I have gone through
it. Although not with electronics, with other newly bought toys that get
broken within a day or just a few. I do feel sometimes like just getting
nothing else for them, but I kno that isn't the right way to do things...
so I have "replaced" the time instead of the "toy". Since we no longer have
x, what would you like to do during this time? We could play soccer
outside, or go for a bike ride, perhaps a hike, or even a simple tv time
can do. Not sure if your family watches youtube, but now with verizon you
can watch them on the tv which requires no ipad, or computer. I also do
spend a bit extra on toys to get a better quality. I try to buy the wooded
version most of the time (which they actually love even more) and it helps.
So, although I am pretty new to the unschooling and can't give you huge
examples from years of experience I can say that choosing to use the "time"
for something else has helped us a lot. It helps the budget, me by not
getting angry "again" and the fact that they get to do something else,
excites them.
Good luck,
Haydee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
it. Although not with electronics, with other newly bought toys that get
broken within a day or just a few. I do feel sometimes like just getting
nothing else for them, but I kno that isn't the right way to do things...
so I have "replaced" the time instead of the "toy". Since we no longer have
x, what would you like to do during this time? We could play soccer
outside, or go for a bike ride, perhaps a hike, or even a simple tv time
can do. Not sure if your family watches youtube, but now with verizon you
can watch them on the tv which requires no ipad, or computer. I also do
spend a bit extra on toys to get a better quality. I try to buy the wooded
version most of the time (which they actually love even more) and it helps.
So, although I am pretty new to the unschooling and can't give you huge
examples from years of experience I can say that choosing to use the "time"
for something else has helped us a lot. It helps the budget, me by not
getting angry "again" and the fact that they get to do something else,
excites them.
Good luck,
Haydee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
semajrak
>>>>> Some people are just like that. <<<<<I'm the clumsy one in our home. I've broken most of the glasses that have been broken, even the ones I really liked. As hard as I try, and as careful as I am, a couple glasses, bowls or plates every year still seem to slip (secretly, I think they jump) out of my hand and break. When this does happen, I still hear the criticism I used to get as a young person running it's recording in my mind. It's a series of frustrated put-downs that continue to make my shoulders slump in disappointment at myself.
My clumsiness was worse when my body was growing. There was a year where I grew several inches. My arm lengths were no longer predictable. Many nights at the dinner table I would reach for my glass of milk, only to miss my target and knock it over. The reaction was always the same - intense and frustrated. A flurry of cleaning ensued. A barrage of the same statements and rhetorical questions were loudly shared. I felt at a total loss as to what the heck was "wrong" with me, and wondered why I was built so awkwardly. Eventually, I started eating by myself at a tv table downstairs. I did so until I moved out on my own.
I can completely understand my parents' exasperation at having the milk fly across the table many a dinner. But, upon seeing this unfortunate affliction of mine repeated over and over, why would they insist on putting out fabric table cloths and nice quilted place mats? Weren't there covered cups available then? Couldn't there have been *some* humour or understanding? You see where I'm going...The being upset with me wasn't remedying the situation. It didn't -it *couldn't* - stop the girl with the growing arms from underestimating her span and sending the milk for a spill! Problem solving would have made all the difference, not only to my self esteem, but likely to the quality of the remainder of our dinners as well.
Sandra Dodd
-=-Problem solving would have made all the difference, not only to my self esteem, but likely to the quality of the remainder of our dinners as well. -=-
Very nicely put.
I am still unhappy about a (very rare) outing to a restaurant once, with another family. I got chocolate milk, and was VERY excited about that! But I spilled. it. The waitress quickly offered to bring me another one, but my mom wouldn't let her. She said no, that I had spilled it and so I wasn't going to get any.
I remember the waitress hesitating, like she was going to insist, or argue. She felt sorry for me.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Very nicely put.
I am still unhappy about a (very rare) outing to a restaurant once, with another family. I got chocolate milk, and was VERY excited about that! But I spilled. it. The waitress quickly offered to bring me another one, but my mom wouldn't let her. She said no, that I had spilled it and so I wasn't going to get any.
I remember the waitress hesitating, like she was going to insist, or argue. She felt sorry for me.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Panasonic make a 'toughbook' notebook/laptop (apparently shockproof, waterproof, drop-proof, etc) - but they are very expensive. Other brands probaby do something similar - might be worth looking on ebay or something?-=-
Probably less expensive to budget replacement screens.
Adam Daniel dropped his iPad this summer, and I poked around the internet and found an inexpensive replacement source. It might still be in my search history...
It wasn't, but Julie knew where: http://www.pchelpathome.co.uk/techshed-walton/
UK, but I don't know how near to you.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Probably less expensive to budget replacement screens.
Adam Daniel dropped his iPad this summer, and I poked around the internet and found an inexpensive replacement source. It might still be in my search history...
It wasn't, but Julie knew where: http://www.pchelpathome.co.uk/techshed-walton/
UK, but I don't know how near to you.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie
--- In [email protected], Jo Isaac <joanneisaac@...> wrote:
Julie M
James, 7
Tyler, 5
Audrey, 3
>Otter box (otterbox.com) makes very rugged cases for portable electronics. Not cheap, but less expensive than the corresponding screen repair/replacement.
Julie M
James, 7
Tyler, 5
Audrey, 3
> ==I've heard that there will be unbreakable screens (or less breakable screens) on some tablet computers soon (maybe there already are)==
>
> Panasonic make a 'toughbook' notebook/laptop (apparently shockproof, waterproof, drop-proof, etc) - but they are very expensive. Other brands probaby do something similar - might be worth looking on ebay or something?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
"Otter box (otterbox.com) makes very rugged cases for portable electronics. Not cheap, but less expensive than the corresponding screen repair/replacement."
And I got the ones we use in our Iphones at Amazon for a bargain! Really cheap.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
chris ester
On Tue, Sep 11, 2012 at 10:31 AM, semajrak <semajrak@...> wrote:
dishes with me. I thought that this was amazing fun!
However, I had a beautiful set of collectible antique stoneware dishes that
would often end up chipped or broken. My mother and I painstakingly
collected these dishes and they were special to me. Every time one of them
was damaged, a little part of my heart broke...
So, I packed them all up carefully and put them into special 'china
vaults'. I went out and bought a bunch of mismatched porcelain from the
local thrift stores and big box stores. So whenever one broke (breaks), I
could just smile and say, "Oops, let's clean it up!" with no emotional
attachment.
I realized that every time I would express my sadness about a broken dish,
my children took it to heart and it hurt them. I realized that my
relationship with my children was more important than my desire to use a
particular set of dishes.
Chris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> **When my kids were very young, they liked to help set the table and wash
> I can completely understand my parents' exasperation at having the milk
> fly across the table many a dinner. But, upon seeing this unfortunate
> affliction of mine repeated over and over, why would they insist on putting
> out fabric table cloths and nice quilted place mats? Weren't there covered
> cups available then? Couldn't there have been *some* humour or
> understanding? You see where I'm going...The being upset with me wasn't
> remedying the situation. It didn't -it *couldn't* - stop the girl with the
> growing arms from underestimating her span and sending the milk for a
> spill! Problem solving would have made all the difference, not only to my
> self esteem, but likely to the quality of the remainder of our dinners as
> well.
>
dishes with me. I thought that this was amazing fun!
However, I had a beautiful set of collectible antique stoneware dishes that
would often end up chipped or broken. My mother and I painstakingly
collected these dishes and they were special to me. Every time one of them
was damaged, a little part of my heart broke...
So, I packed them all up carefully and put them into special 'china
vaults'. I went out and bought a bunch of mismatched porcelain from the
local thrift stores and big box stores. So whenever one broke (breaks), I
could just smile and say, "Oops, let's clean it up!" with no emotional
attachment.
I realized that every time I would express my sadness about a broken dish,
my children took it to heart and it hurt them. I realized that my
relationship with my children was more important than my desire to use a
particular set of dishes.
Chris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CarenKH
I just heard, via a facebook friend, that Amazon has a no-question warranty, and will replace or repair kindles for free. They replaced her kindle fire this week because the screen had broken; she hadn't even bought it through Amazon. Someone commented on her post that Amazon had replaced her son's kindle 5 different times.
Your mileage may vary! This isn't my direct experience, I don't own a kindle. I thought it was worth sharing -
Caren
Your mileage may vary! This isn't my direct experience, I don't own a kindle. I thought it was worth sharing -
Caren