Peep has asked if he can go to school.
beamoogaloo
Peep, almost 8, has asked if he can try school. I said that of course he could try it but I was interested to know why he wanted to (until recently he's been quite sure that he doesn't want to go to school).
He says that one of the girls who shares the same childminder with my boys has told him that school is really cool because you get to meet so many new people. Interestingly, Peep describes himself as shy and I would also say that he sometimes feels socially awkward. he has expressed to me in the past that he knows he doesn't makes friends easily but that this is OK because he feels he only needs a few good friends rather than lots and lots.
We went on to talking about the reality of having school and I suggested that we might spend some time working on reading and writing. I said that schools were different to home because at home I am happy that he will learn to read and write when he is ready to and I want for him to do when it is a pleasure for him and is something he does when the time is right. I explained that in schools they teach it from the beginning so might want to do some of that together. At that point he said, "OK I don't want to go to school".
He went on to say he was confused by children who go to school telling him one thing and me saying other things.
I am confused because I don't know what to do. He also 'sees' school as the same school that his friends go to but it is unlikely I could get him a place there for all sorts of reasons.
He knows we're doing a road trip in the autumn and he's excited about that. If the road trip goes well and me and the boys enjoy travelling together then the potential plan is we keep travelling on and off, Europe, Asia, Scandinavia etc.
What are your thoughts?
Could I have handled it better?
What things might I want to think about?
Bea
He says that one of the girls who shares the same childminder with my boys has told him that school is really cool because you get to meet so many new people. Interestingly, Peep describes himself as shy and I would also say that he sometimes feels socially awkward. he has expressed to me in the past that he knows he doesn't makes friends easily but that this is OK because he feels he only needs a few good friends rather than lots and lots.
We went on to talking about the reality of having school and I suggested that we might spend some time working on reading and writing. I said that schools were different to home because at home I am happy that he will learn to read and write when he is ready to and I want for him to do when it is a pleasure for him and is something he does when the time is right. I explained that in schools they teach it from the beginning so might want to do some of that together. At that point he said, "OK I don't want to go to school".
He went on to say he was confused by children who go to school telling him one thing and me saying other things.
I am confused because I don't know what to do. He also 'sees' school as the same school that his friends go to but it is unlikely I could get him a place there for all sorts of reasons.
He knows we're doing a road trip in the autumn and he's excited about that. If the road trip goes well and me and the boys enjoy travelling together then the potential plan is we keep travelling on and off, Europe, Asia, Scandinavia etc.
What are your thoughts?
Could I have handled it better?
What things might I want to think about?
Bea
Sandra Dodd
I think you handled it fine.
I don't know what you said when he asked about this, but I have some ideas for next time, if there is one (or for others who haven't had it happen before, and who might):
-=-He went on to say he was confused by children who go to school telling him one thing and me saying other things.-=-
Kids defend school because they have been told there's no choice and have made peace with that, or have come to terms with it somehow. So they will feel more comfortable if homeschooled kids go to school than they will if they figure out that it really IS an option. So suggestions that he should go to school, too, are more about them than about Peep.
Maybe advise him to be compassionate and not to make a big deal about getting to stay home.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I don't know what you said when he asked about this, but I have some ideas for next time, if there is one (or for others who haven't had it happen before, and who might):
-=-He went on to say he was confused by children who go to school telling him one thing and me saying other things.-=-
Kids defend school because they have been told there's no choice and have made peace with that, or have come to terms with it somehow. So they will feel more comfortable if homeschooled kids go to school than they will if they figure out that it really IS an option. So suggestions that he should go to school, too, are more about them than about Peep.
Maybe advise him to be compassionate and not to make a big deal about getting to stay home.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Chris & Betsy
I've noticed that as the years go by little kids are much more enthusiastic about school than older kids. The patina wears off for sure.
When kids try to defend school now (and most of them do not) it's stuff that is laughable to my kids, "We get free play in P.E. class." My kids are pretty charitable, but in private they are sort of astonished, "Free play? Our whole LIVES are free play? Why would we go to school just for an hour of free play a week??"
There was a time a few years ago when school did seem cooler and more fun to my kids. I encouraged my kids to ask school kids all kinds of questions about school. Even the positives didn't sound like positives to my kids. And when the school kids found out that we weren't doing "school at home" they all said the same thing, "You guys are so LUCKY!"
Keep talking to kids who go to school. Ask them questions in front of Peep and discuss their answers with him. Let the "experts" tell the story since he doesn't seem inclined to take your word for it (which was the same for my kids...and I get it....they know we have a bias....they *should* take what we say on the matter with a grain of salt).
Warmly,
Betsy
Sam 10 and Eli 7
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
When kids try to defend school now (and most of them do not) it's stuff that is laughable to my kids, "We get free play in P.E. class." My kids are pretty charitable, but in private they are sort of astonished, "Free play? Our whole LIVES are free play? Why would we go to school just for an hour of free play a week??"
There was a time a few years ago when school did seem cooler and more fun to my kids. I encouraged my kids to ask school kids all kinds of questions about school. Even the positives didn't sound like positives to my kids. And when the school kids found out that we weren't doing "school at home" they all said the same thing, "You guys are so LUCKY!"
Keep talking to kids who go to school. Ask them questions in front of Peep and discuss their answers with him. Let the "experts" tell the story since he doesn't seem inclined to take your word for it (which was the same for my kids...and I get it....they know we have a bias....they *should* take what we say on the matter with a grain of salt).
Warmly,
Betsy
Sam 10 and Eli 7
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dezignarob
===Peep describes himself as shy and I would also say that he sometimes feels socially awkward. he has expressed to me in the past that he knows he doesn't makes friends easily but that this is OK because he feels he only needs a few good friends rather than lots and lots.===
One of the aspects of school that I described to Jayn was that she wouldn't be able to choose how she spends her time at school. She would be directed into or away from activities regardless of her own preferences. That has always been enough for her to want to stay away.
Maybe you could visit an orientation day at your local school, as part of the back to school stuff, just to assuage his curiosity. Or drive by the playground at lunch time. At the school around the corner from us, which is where Jayn would have gone for elementary school, the playground gets quite crowded. Perhaps for a shyer fellow, it would be useful to see the big, noisy, moving melting pot of shouting bodies that the playground can become.
Perhaps he needs more home schooling friends. Do you go to park days?
Robyn L. Coburn
www.iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.cafepress.com/iggyjingles
One of the aspects of school that I described to Jayn was that she wouldn't be able to choose how she spends her time at school. She would be directed into or away from activities regardless of her own preferences. That has always been enough for her to want to stay away.
Maybe you could visit an orientation day at your local school, as part of the back to school stuff, just to assuage his curiosity. Or drive by the playground at lunch time. At the school around the corner from us, which is where Jayn would have gone for elementary school, the playground gets quite crowded. Perhaps for a shyer fellow, it would be useful to see the big, noisy, moving melting pot of shouting bodies that the playground can become.
Perhaps he needs more home schooling friends. Do you go to park days?
Robyn L. Coburn
www.iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.cafepress.com/iggyjingles
Bea Marshall
Thanks for your answers. In response to Sandra, Peep doesn't make a big
deal about being home ed. He tells people if they ask but he doesn't put it
out there particularly.
We have lots of home ed friends who we hang out with and also school
friends who we see less so but we do when we can. In response to Peep's
interest in going to school due to the opportunity to meet new people I
have organised a few visits to a holiday club that is being run out of a
school but by a private company. I know the woman who organises it and she
is wonderful with kids. The group is relatively small too - about 10 kids,
including Peep and Jos. Peep's immediate response to the holiday club was,
"but i don't want to be with lots of other people i don't know". I talked
to him about the holiday club in relation to his question about school and
he's going to give it a go and see how he gets on.
I forgot to mention that the boys also so a Martial Arts class once a week
too, and we have a regular home ed meet on a weekly basis with a few
families and we do indoor and outdoor activities that the kids can join in
or not with. Otherwise they play freely together.
So we'll see how it gets on. We're road tripping in USA for the last 2-3
months of this year and things may feel very different then in all sorts of
ways!
Thanks again,
Bea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
deal about being home ed. He tells people if they ask but he doesn't put it
out there particularly.
We have lots of home ed friends who we hang out with and also school
friends who we see less so but we do when we can. In response to Peep's
interest in going to school due to the opportunity to meet new people I
have organised a few visits to a holiday club that is being run out of a
school but by a private company. I know the woman who organises it and she
is wonderful with kids. The group is relatively small too - about 10 kids,
including Peep and Jos. Peep's immediate response to the holiday club was,
"but i don't want to be with lots of other people i don't know". I talked
to him about the holiday club in relation to his question about school and
he's going to give it a go and see how he gets on.
I forgot to mention that the boys also so a Martial Arts class once a week
too, and we have a regular home ed meet on a weekly basis with a few
families and we do indoor and outdoor activities that the kids can join in
or not with. Otherwise they play freely together.
So we'll see how it gets on. We're road tripping in USA for the last 2-3
months of this year and things may feel very different then in all sorts of
ways!
Thanks again,
Bea
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]