haydee deldenovese

Although my new main goal is to read, wait and watch, as a beginner, I am
having trouble with how to manage my home and still be able to engage the
children fully.
in the past I would include them with the chores, but they no longer have
an interest in helping, so can anyone please give me some ideas or examples
on how I can manage to clean and maintain a big home without taking time
away from my kids?
the kids seem to like to play outside, but then if I am in the home
cleaning, I feel I am not engaiging them, or if they are watching tv, and I
am upstairs cleaninng a bathroom, I am also no longer able to share that
experience with them.
I want to be able to fully engage with them, without letting the house get
too messy. We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
hair just piles up in every corner.
Ideas on time management?
Tnx, Haydee


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Sandra Dodd

-=-so can anyone please give me some ideas or examples
on how I can manage to clean and maintain a big home without taking time
away from my kids?-=-

You can't.

You cannot have a large house that seems not to have children in it AND have children who get lots of attention from their parents.

Prioritize. Children first. If you fill the children up with attention and love, you'll get extra time sooner than if you try to claim housecleaning time from "their time."

http://sandradodd.com/howto/precisely

When the dog hair piles up in the corners, pick it up with a damp paper towel.

Sandra

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Rachel

===I feel I am not engaiging them, or if they are watching tv, and I
am upstairs cleaninng a bathroom, I am also no longer able to share that
experience with them.===

My house is a mess pretty much all the time. I clean it enough so we can
live healthily, but honestly my son will not remember if my bathroom was
spotless. I do think, though, that he absolutely will remember every time
I tell him I can't play because I have to clean it. When we need the house
to be clean because we are having guests etc... we clean it good enough for
them. When I need pots to make dinner, they get done. When I am sick of
looking at piles of laundry, I do a load. You cannot have everything all
the time. Yes I do wish my house was less cluttered and less dusty, but
when I reflect on it, I always think to myself .... When my son is on his
own and out of my house and I look back on our (very) short time together,
will I appreciate the time I spent playing with him or the time I spent
cleaning? When I am dead and gone my legacy is my son, not my house, and
that is where I want my focus to be. Last year both of my grandmothers
passed away within a week of each other, and none of the beautiful eulogies
presented by their combined 14 children had anything to say about how clean
either of their houses were. They spoke of time in the garden together,
special moments painting together, piano playing, trips being taken, and
love being shared. These were the memories that stuck with their children,
not the memories of how clean their childhood houses were.

If you cannot fathom not having a clean house, perhaps it's time to
readjust the budget and hire someone to help you. $80 a week seems like a
steal to get your needs met and to have more time with you children.

Rachel
Happily living with 2 cats, 2 birds, and loads of dust bunnies.


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Alex

>We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
> hair just piles up in every corner.

We were blessed with a handmedown Roomba. It's a vacuum robot that runs all by itself! There's a little management involved with making sure Barbie shoes etc don't get sucked up, so I don't run it daily and the playroom is usually blocked off, but it really helps a lot. And is entertaining to boot!

I've been looking for cleaning secrets like you for a long time since we while I can live with clutter/grime our dust mite allergies make us all sniffle. Pretty much it seems like the big secret is that more & more unschoolers/other folks with kids at home out of school I know who I thought were just way more on top of things actually hire someone to clean their houses once or twice a month. Doing FlyLady stuff on off & on as people have recommended here in the past helps me be a little more efficient and not get as overwhelmed, but it still takes time.

Alex N.

Meredith

haydee deldenovese <shybarbie22@...> wrote:
>> the kids seem to like to play outside, but then if I am in the home
> cleaning...

If the kids like to play outside, you're house isn't going to be as messy as if the kids are inside all day. That's simple. If the kids are inside a lot, tidy up here and there where they like to play. You can make it something you do while hanging out in the same room, something you do while looking for lost socks, puzzle pieces and those darn clear 1x2 legos which make such great windows but always end up behind the couch or under a pile of books. If they're doing something with small pieces, throw a sheet down so you can scoop it all up later, when they want to build a fort in the same room. Have lots of baskets and hampers to toss things into as you go by, or lots of tables and shelves to heap things on if your kids (like mine) just can't resist playing with the darn bins.

When the kids want to do something in a cluttered space say "sure, give me a hand making room" and clear a spot. Take five minutes here and ten there to do a few dishes, or toss some laundry in the washer. Fold the laundry while watching tv or playing board games. That's also a good time to chop veggies.

> how I can manage to clean and maintain a big home

Make the activity more central - bring toys, tvs, computers, game systems into the living room and kitchen. That lets you do little household tasks close to the kids And it keep the action (and hence the mess) contained.

Consider hiring someone to clean or trade of cleaning with another mom.

>>We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
> hair just piles up in every corner.

If you need your home to be so clean that animal hair in the corners is a big deal, then unschooling may not be a good fit for you. An unschooling home is a combined artist workshop, mad scientist laboratory, film studio, nest, and playground. That's a lot - and your home will reflect that.

---Meredith

Pam Sorooshian

On Sun, Jun 24, 2012 at 1:48 PM, Meredith <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:

> >>We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
> > hair just piles up in every corner.
>
> If you need your home to be so clean that animal hair in the corners is a
> big deal, then unschooling may not be a good fit for you. An unschooling
> home is a combined artist workshop, mad scientist laboratory, film studio,
> nest, and playground. That's a lot - and your home will reflect that.>>
>

Or get a robovac...I heard they work great on pethair.

-pam


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teresa

My kids fall into a pretty predictable pattern of wanting to watch cartoons as they're winding down for the day. They like Fairly Odd Parents, and have seen every single episode, but like watching them again anyway. Because I've watched the show with them a bunch, I can still talk to them about it, but I take that time to do the cleaning I need to do to keep our house functional and fun.

I will say that I've redefined what "functional" looks like, though.

The deep cleaning--the diligent dog hair removal and tile scrubbing and mopping and wood polishing--gets done much less frequently than it would if I didn't have kids. But like someone else said, I do get to that for company, usually by my husband taking them to the movies for the afternoon or the city pool or something like that that takes a couple of hours or more.

Joyce has a really sweet section on her site about happily sharing cleaning with her kids. Maybe it could work to include the kids in certain parts. It takes longer than it would if it were just you zipping through it, but it could be fun and positive for all of you. http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/ My kids love the vinegar/water squirt bottles, and once I gut the bathroom in anticipation of a good cleaning, it's actually helpful for them to go to town squirting the mirrors, shower, sink, etc.

Also, would it be helpful to make your big house smaller? Could you consolidate the fun stuff into a couple of rooms? Maybe start using one bathroom for most things and the others less frequently?

Teresa

Jenny Cyphers

***I want to be able to fully engage with them, without letting the house get
too messy. We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
hair just piles up in every corner.***

Can you make a priority list?  If hair is a priority, then clearing floors and vacuuming and sweeping is high priority.  Spend at least 10-20 min each day on that.  The next priority might be kitchen clean up or laundry, so break that down into daily allotments too.  I find that I can get a bulk of the kitchen work done if I spend at least half an hr a day on it, or an hr every other day.  Laundry gets done when the mountain is too high.  It helps to have a decent place to stash clean laundry.

The biggest thing was letting go of my standards.  The bathrooms get cleaned once a month.  I wipe things down in between if things get bad.  Big messes get cleaned right away, spills, pet messes, that sort of thing.  Messy doesn't bother me as much as dirty.  If the coffee table is full of projects that's great, but if it's full of projects and underneath the projects is a leftover sticky messy thing, that bothers me.  As soon as a surface is cleared, I wipe things down and keep it that way until it gets full again.  I use sheets on floors a lot to contain large play stuff and if I need to pick up fast, I can grab the corners and bag it all up and stash it in the toy area and deal with putting it away later when people are busily occupied with something else.

 ***the kids seem to like to play outside, but then if I am in the home
cleaning, I feel I am not engaiging them, or if they are watching tv, and I
am upstairs cleaninng a bathroom, I am also no longer able to share that
experience with them.***

I spent plenty of time as a kid playing outside while my parents did "adult" stuff, like cleaning and cooking and working in and around the home.  Both of my own kids have done the same.  Since they are home with us all the time, I find plenty of time in the day to make connections.  I don't need to play with them 24/7 to find time to connect.  Don't go for bare minimum of connections.  It's not an all or nothing deal.  If they are happily engaged in outdoor play or watching TV, go do your thing quickly and come back and join or add to what they are doing.  I've always checked in with my kids when I'm doing work stuff.  I pop out and see how the play is going and offer drinks or snacks or ideas and then get back to my  stuff while everyone is still going happy.  If things aren't going great, I stop what I'm doing and help the kids.  Housework will always be there and my kids have always been priority over that.

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m_aduhene

ok so i know all this (i think) and can manage it most of the time. but i have to ask about the times when it all gets too much. it try to breathe through the momants when middle son is stuck into one of his experiments, with water and mixtures and whatever else he puts in there, and needs a helping hand with mixing or something. youngest daughter is asking if i can be outside with her because she doesn't like being outside alone. and eldest daughter has something on the internet that i must look at right now. i love it all of it. however in the midst of this some days (especially time of the month days) i see the grime and the dirt and the unwashed pots and the chipped paint on the walls and the back garden with the worn lawn, and i imagine that i am slovenly and lazy and dirty in some people's eyes. then i become a bit of a clean freak and get a bit down thinking how bad i am that my house is in that state.
i fully clean up once a month or so and do the necessary bits here and there but still that angging feeling of dirtiness and shabbinees is there.....
blessings
michelle

--- In [email protected], Jenny Cyphers <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
>
> ***I want to be able to fully engage with them, without letting the house get
> too messy. We have 2 dogs and a ferret, so if I don't clean constantly, the
> hair just piles up in every corner.***
>
> Can you make a priority list?  If hair is a priority, then clearing floors and vacuuming and sweeping is high priority.  Spend at least 10-20 min each day on that.  The next priority might be kitchen clean up or laundry, so break that down into daily allotments too.  I find that I can get a bulk of the kitchen work done if I spend at least half an hr a day on it, or an hr every other day.  Laundry gets done when the mountain is too high.  It helps to have a decent place to stash clean laundry.
>
> The biggest thing was letting go of my standards.  The bathrooms get cleaned once a month.  I wipe things down in between if things get bad.  Big messes get cleaned right away, spills, pet messes, that sort of thing.  Messy doesn't bother me as much as dirty.  If the coffee table is full of projects that's great, but if it's full of projects and underneath the projects is a leftover sticky messy thing, that bothers me.  As soon as a surface is cleared, I wipe things down and keep it that way until it gets full again.  I use sheets on floors a lot to contain large play stuff and if I need to pick up fast, I can grab the corners and bag it all up and stash it in the toy area and deal with putting it away later when people are busily occupied with something else.
>
>  ***the kids seem to like to play outside, but then if I am in the home
> cleaning, I feel I am not engaiging them, or if they are watching tv, and I
> am upstairs cleaninng a bathroom, I am also no longer able to share that
> experience with them.***
>
> I spent plenty of time as a kid playing outside while my parents did "adult" stuff, like cleaning and cooking and working in and around the home.  Both of my own kids have done the same.  Since they are home with us all the time, I find plenty of time in the day to make connections.  I don't need to play with them 24/7 to find time to connect.  Don't go for bare minimum of connections.  It's not an all or nothing deal.  If they are happily engaged in outdoor play or watching TV, go do your thing quickly and come back and join or add to what they are doing.  I've always checked in with my kids when I'm doing work stuff.  I pop out and see how the play is going and offer drinks or snacks or ideas and then get back to my  stuff while everyone is still going happy.  If things aren't going great, I stop what I'm doing and help the kids.  Housework will always be there and my kids have always been priority over that.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Andrea Q

I clean in 5 to 10 minute blocks.

- Unload the dishwasher while they are eating breakfast and chatting with me

- Scrub a toilet or wipe the sink before I shower or while a little one is in the bathtub

- Vacuum the living room when everyone seems happily occupied

- Sort laundry late in the evening after they are sleeping or while they are playing with dad


Andrea Q