single parent unschooling
Susanne
Hi,
I am a single mother of a 5yo and a 1yo. I have always been the 'caring' parent, and loved it. Being an unschooling mother made all situations seem covered with a golden glow to me. However, since my husband left a few moths after our youngest was born I feel defeated and well, not so 'shiny'. Looking after the kids all day, every day, doing all the housekeeping, and not having a partner to share sorrow and joy with is not very 'golden'. This is no surprise off course, but I am hoping there are some ways I just haven't figured out myself to bring back the golden glow of unschooling.
Susanne (The Netherlands)
I am a single mother of a 5yo and a 1yo. I have always been the 'caring' parent, and loved it. Being an unschooling mother made all situations seem covered with a golden glow to me. However, since my husband left a few moths after our youngest was born I feel defeated and well, not so 'shiny'. Looking after the kids all day, every day, doing all the housekeeping, and not having a partner to share sorrow and joy with is not very 'golden'. This is no surprise off course, but I am hoping there are some ways I just haven't figured out myself to bring back the golden glow of unschooling.
Susanne (The Netherlands)
Sandra Dodd
-=-Looking after the kids all day, every day, doing all the housekeeping, and not having a partner to share sorrow and joy with is not very 'golden'. This is no surprise off course, but I am hoping there are some ways I just haven't figured out myself to bring back the golden glow of unschooling.-=-
If it's not irrevocably too late, consider reconciliation.
http;//sandradodd.com/partners
http://sandradodd.com/divorce
I know it's not mainstream advice.
I know dozens of others will say "good riddance."
I doubt your children will be among those dozens of others.
Unschooling is like owning a yacht. Not many people can do that even if they want to. It requires resources most people don't have. A couple is more likely to be able to do it than a single person.
Owning a yacht isn't a right or a privilege bestowed by any government or philosophy. It's a luxury.
When children's happiness is a major goal, divorce is rarely beneficial I heard recently that there's an unschooling advocate in Europe who promotes and encourages divorce. How awful!! Children don't need "unschooling" as much as they need a stable, loving homelife. There are other ways to be and to learn.
If it's all too late for that in your family, it's not too late in others who are reading here.
If you can afford (financially) to stay home with your children, and reconciliation is not a possibility, I recommend keeping a blog of happy activities you do with the kids, pictures of things you've seen and places you've been, pictures of things they've made and done. This might be more useful than other things on the site for a while: http://sandradodd.com/breathing
Expect behavioral issues and be sympathetic to them. Too often, mothers assume the divorce has hurt them but that their children will recover quickly. (Sometimes mothers tell themselves the divorce won't hurt anyone.) And too often children pretend to be okay to soothe their mother's' fears.
http://sandradodd.com/choices might be helpful, too.
Sandra
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If it's not irrevocably too late, consider reconciliation.
http;//sandradodd.com/partners
http://sandradodd.com/divorce
I know it's not mainstream advice.
I know dozens of others will say "good riddance."
I doubt your children will be among those dozens of others.
Unschooling is like owning a yacht. Not many people can do that even if they want to. It requires resources most people don't have. A couple is more likely to be able to do it than a single person.
Owning a yacht isn't a right or a privilege bestowed by any government or philosophy. It's a luxury.
When children's happiness is a major goal, divorce is rarely beneficial I heard recently that there's an unschooling advocate in Europe who promotes and encourages divorce. How awful!! Children don't need "unschooling" as much as they need a stable, loving homelife. There are other ways to be and to learn.
If it's all too late for that in your family, it's not too late in others who are reading here.
If you can afford (financially) to stay home with your children, and reconciliation is not a possibility, I recommend keeping a blog of happy activities you do with the kids, pictures of things you've seen and places you've been, pictures of things they've made and done. This might be more useful than other things on the site for a while: http://sandradodd.com/breathing
Expect behavioral issues and be sympathetic to them. Too often, mothers assume the divorce has hurt them but that their children will recover quickly. (Sometimes mothers tell themselves the divorce won't hurt anyone.) And too often children pretend to be okay to soothe their mother's' fears.
http://sandradodd.com/choices might be helpful, too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Woodman
{{{{{Hugs Susannne!}}}} Your life is in huge transition right now and I
would say that even if your husband had not left. Your family is
transformed by the addition of each child and that alone can cause big
changes. Everything is different with a new baby in your life. One of the
things that helped smooth over some of the rough edges was getting a
mother's helper. (A local girl, Lydia, age 10 I think, who was eager to
get some baby sitting experience but not ready to watch children solo.)
She came two afternoons a week. My original plan was to have her fresh
and available to play games with my then two year old Gabriella but as it
turned out what Gabriella really was missing was time with me. So in the
end Lydia would hold and play with Baby Harry and I would have two hours to
be with Gabriella, while still being available to Harry if he needed to
nurse or what have you. Having a helper come in can be a breath of fresh
air and new energy even on days when you cannot get out of the house
yourself.
Warmly,
Sylvia (Gabriella 8 & Harry 6)
would say that even if your husband had not left. Your family is
transformed by the addition of each child and that alone can cause big
changes. Everything is different with a new baby in your life. One of the
things that helped smooth over some of the rough edges was getting a
mother's helper. (A local girl, Lydia, age 10 I think, who was eager to
get some baby sitting experience but not ready to watch children solo.)
She came two afternoons a week. My original plan was to have her fresh
and available to play games with my then two year old Gabriella but as it
turned out what Gabriella really was missing was time with me. So in the
end Lydia would hold and play with Baby Harry and I would have two hours to
be with Gabriella, while still being available to Harry if he needed to
nurse or what have you. Having a helper come in can be a breath of fresh
air and new energy even on days when you cannot get out of the house
yourself.
Warmly,
Sylvia (Gabriella 8 & Harry 6)
On Wed, Jun 20, 2012 at 3:28 PM, Susanne <suboeki@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> Hi,
>
> I am a single mother of a 5yo and a 1yo. I have always been the 'caring'
> parent, and loved it. Being an unschooling mother made all situations seem
> covered with a golden glow to me. However, since my husband left a few
> moths after our youngest was born I feel defeated and well, not so 'shiny'.
> Looking after the kids all day, every day, doing all the housekeeping, and
> not having a partner to share sorrow and joy with is not very 'golden'.
> This is no surprise off course, but I am hoping there are some ways I just
> haven't figured out myself to bring back the golden glow of unschooling.
>
> Susanne (The Netherlands)
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]