son spraying his pants.
Julie
I'm having some concerns about my son's potty learning. He has been spraying
his pants for months, and then empting his bladder in the potty. I would
like to help him get to the toilet in time, but without requiring him to do
so. Sometimes he will just go to the toilet if he sees me going, but some
days he is just "too busy." Here's his back story:
He started waking dry from naps at 16 months, so I started potty learning
with him (letting him run around naked for 10-15 minutes every morning). By
19 months, he started taking himself to the toilet consistently. By 21
months, he was at the 99% rate of success while naked and he night trained.
I decided to put him in trainers, and he had a few days of bad accidents.
Occasionally he would spray his pants, but he was mostly dry. Flash forward
a few months, and that awful two year old distraction thing has taken over.
He is just too busy to go to the toilet, so he sprays himself lightly and
then goes to the toilet. Sometimes, when we are outside playing, he will
relieve himself a tiny bit and then just wait until we go inside. I really
don't want him sitting in wet undies, especially with summer coming!
Thus far my response to him is just to tell him he needs to put all his pee
in the potty and to keep his pants dry. I would really like to help him to
stop doing this, however. My mom babysits and she is all worried "something
is wrong" with him, especially since he had two kidney surgeries when he was
a baby. My concern is that it is just going to be a hard habit to break,
the longer he keeps doing it. I know it is perfectly normal
developmentally, but I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here. I have no issues with him when we are out in the world, I just tell
him I need to go pee, and he usually just starts pulling down his pants to
go before I go. But at home he doesn't go to the toilet until he sprays
himself, after a few months of being totally dry.
Thoughts?
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
his pants for months, and then empting his bladder in the potty. I would
like to help him get to the toilet in time, but without requiring him to do
so. Sometimes he will just go to the toilet if he sees me going, but some
days he is just "too busy." Here's his back story:
He started waking dry from naps at 16 months, so I started potty learning
with him (letting him run around naked for 10-15 minutes every morning). By
19 months, he started taking himself to the toilet consistently. By 21
months, he was at the 99% rate of success while naked and he night trained.
I decided to put him in trainers, and he had a few days of bad accidents.
Occasionally he would spray his pants, but he was mostly dry. Flash forward
a few months, and that awful two year old distraction thing has taken over.
He is just too busy to go to the toilet, so he sprays himself lightly and
then goes to the toilet. Sometimes, when we are outside playing, he will
relieve himself a tiny bit and then just wait until we go inside. I really
don't want him sitting in wet undies, especially with summer coming!
Thus far my response to him is just to tell him he needs to put all his pee
in the potty and to keep his pants dry. I would really like to help him to
stop doing this, however. My mom babysits and she is all worried "something
is wrong" with him, especially since he had two kidney surgeries when he was
a baby. My concern is that it is just going to be a hard habit to break,
the longer he keeps doing it. I know it is perfectly normal
developmentally, but I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here. I have no issues with him when we are out in the world, I just tell
him I need to go pee, and he usually just starts pulling down his pants to
go before I go. But at home he doesn't go to the toilet until he sprays
himself, after a few months of being totally dry.
Thoughts?
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-. My concern is that it is just going to be a hard habit to break,
the longer he keeps doing it. I know it is perfectly normal... -=-
You can't have both. :-)
He's older every day.
He won't grow up to be a man who doesn't know when he needs to go.
-=-I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here.-=-
A reminder isn't a rule or a schedule. Remind him.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the longer he keeps doing it. I know it is perfectly normal... -=-
You can't have both. :-)
He's older every day.
He won't grow up to be a man who doesn't know when he needs to go.
-=-I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here.-=-
A reminder isn't a rule or a schedule. Remind him.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Another idea is to get extra underwear for him so the pressure isn't about laundry, and keep several pairs in the bathroom he uses most, so he can change when he goes, if there's any at all on the old pair. He can change right then when he's peeing, and it's not as big a deal, about the pair with the little-bit-of-damp.
Sandra
Sandra
Julie
I don't mind the laundry, I do two loads everyday anyway---paperless household.
I like the idea of keeping clean undies in the bathroom so he can change himself. I know he will like that.
He has been fighting my reminders lately, so I guess I'm looking for games or tricks to distract him into using the toilet. We play 'whose going to get to the bathroom first,' but he doesn't always want to play.
He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!
I've been thinking I could get my 4 year to remind him, since he copies everything she does.
Thanks!
Julie
Sent from my iPhone
I like the idea of keeping clean undies in the bathroom so he can change himself. I know he will like that.
He has been fighting my reminders lately, so I guess I'm looking for games or tricks to distract him into using the toilet. We play 'whose going to get to the bathroom first,' but he doesn't always want to play.
He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!
I've been thinking I could get my 4 year to remind him, since he copies everything she does.
Thanks!
Julie
Sent from my iPhone
On May 21, 2012, at 7:34l AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> Another idea is to get extra underwear for him so the pressure isn't about laundry, and keep several pairs in the bathroom he uses most, so he can change when he goes, if there's any at all on the old pair. He can change right then when he's peeing, and it's not as big a deal, about the pair with the little-bit-of-damp.
>
> Sandra
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
"but I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here. "
-=-=
Why not just say: " Hey go pee before you go out." or " lets pee then go out" or something simple and to the point?
I do that with my kids.
Just 5 minutes ago Gigi had just woken up and Dad was going to go to Fleet Farm buy some farm stuff.
Gigi loves to go there so I got her clothes and told her to go pee before we changed.
She would have gotten her clothes on and left only to get an urgent need to go pee on the road or as soon as she got there.
Being that on the road would be the problem. So I remind her. She does not mind.
I used to do that to MD who is older. I do not need to remind him anymore.
If we are going on a long drive I let my kids know. I remind them to pee and I go pee myself.
Do not make it into a battle just remind him without too many words.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
here. "
-=-=
Why not just say: " Hey go pee before you go out." or " lets pee then go out" or something simple and to the point?
I do that with my kids.
Just 5 minutes ago Gigi had just woken up and Dad was going to go to Fleet Farm buy some farm stuff.
Gigi loves to go there so I got her clothes and told her to go pee before we changed.
She would have gotten her clothes on and left only to get an urgent need to go pee on the road or as soon as she got there.
Being that on the road would be the problem. So I remind her. She does not mind.
I used to do that to MD who is older. I do not need to remind him anymore.
If we are going on a long drive I let my kids know. I remind them to pee and I go pee myself.
Do not make it into a battle just remind him without too many words.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie
Alex wrote:
Do I just stop reminding him at all for a few days?
Maybe I will just put out clean undies for him to change into and back off of reminders for a few days and see what happens.
Julie
>This is what I usually do, but my son has been with my mom a lot lately and I think a battle of wills has started. Now he is resisting me.
> Why not just say: " Hey go pee before you go out." or " lets pee then go out" or something simple and to the point?
>
> I do that with my kids.
>
Do I just stop reminding him at all for a few days?
Maybe I will just put out clean undies for him to change into and back off of reminders for a few days and see what happens.
Julie
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
> My concern is that it is just going to be a hard habit to break,Children can have "set-backs" in toileting; some kids aren't
> the longer he keeps doing it. I know it is perfectly normal
> developmentally, but I really don't want to put him on a schedule
> with rules
> like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to
> do
> here. I have no issues with him when we are out in the world, I
> just tell
> him I need to go pee, and he usually just starts pulling down his
> pants to
> go before I go. But at home he doesn't go to the toilet until he
> sprays
> himself, after a few months of being totally dry.
>
completely dry at 8 or 9 or later. An interesting life can take kids'
minds off bodily functions :-)
Your son is two, is that right? Are pull-ups an option for when he's
really busy and not thinking about going until the spraying happens?
Robin B.
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Alex wrote:
>This is what I usually do, but my son has been with my mom a lot lately and I think a battle of wills has started. Now he is resisting me.
> Why not just say: " Hey go pee before you go out." or " lets pee then go out" or something simple and to the point?
>
> I do that with my kids.
>
Do I just stop reminding him at all for a few days?
Maybe I will just put out clean undies for him to change into and back off of reminders for a few days and see what happens.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I think that is a good idea. Put clean undies. I did not realize he was that young. Kids that age go back and forth and it is so common to
have accidents when they are busy.
If your mom is forcing him to go and is creating a battle I would relax.
Does he have to go to her that much?
Can you just send him with some pull ups?
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
Julie <matisse22@...> wrote:
Step back from expecting him to use the toilet regularly or consistently. He's 2 - that's still really little to be using the toilet at all, much less with the capability of an adult. It's not uncommon for kids to have accidents when they're busy on up to age 7 and even older.
I'd look for other options so there's not just One Right Answer: all the pee in the potty. When Mo was in the busy, busy, busy stage, it was easier to put her in a diaper than fuss over the potty every half hour - we experimented with cloth diapers and inserts, but ultimately the disposables gave her the most comfort and freedom, and they cut down the laundry so much it seemed like a better deal in terms of using resources, too. Pull ups provide for a lot of choice on the part of your child, too.
---Meredith
> I guess I'm looking for games or tricks to distract him into using the toilet.***************
Step back from expecting him to use the toilet regularly or consistently. He's 2 - that's still really little to be using the toilet at all, much less with the capability of an adult. It's not uncommon for kids to have accidents when they're busy on up to age 7 and even older.
I'd look for other options so there's not just One Right Answer: all the pee in the potty. When Mo was in the busy, busy, busy stage, it was easier to put her in a diaper than fuss over the potty every half hour - we experimented with cloth diapers and inserts, but ultimately the disposables gave her the most comfort and freedom, and they cut down the laundry so much it seemed like a better deal in terms of using resources, too. Pull ups provide for a lot of choice on the part of your child, too.
---Meredith
Robin Bentley
> I don't mind the laundry, I do two loads everyday anyway---paperlessIf you're avoiding paper pull-ups, you can get cloth ones easily enough.
> household.
>
If you're avoiding all paper products as a cause, watch that your
ideal doesn't get in the way of a happy and peaceful household.
Robin B.
sheeboo2
----I don't mind the laundry, I do two loads everyday anyway---paperless household.----
Is it more important to be a paperless household than to have a son who feels comfortable and confident?
The ecological benefits of cloth diapers are negligible when you take into consideration the water and electricity used to wash cloth diapers (go to page 129: http://tinyurl.com/73osoez), although in any case, there are cloth pull-ups that have a layer of PLU sewn-in to keep the rest of the clothing dry.
----He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!-----
2.5 is incredibly young, especially for a boy, to be even slightly aware of when he needs to use the bathroom most of the time.
------He has been fighting my reminders lately, so I guess I'm looking for games or
tricks to distract him into using the toilet. ------
Why is it so important that he use the toilet? Why not let him use pull-ups until you can see that he is *really* ready to not use diapers (he's showing you he isn't ready to use the toilet consistently, stress-free by peeing in his pants. Calling it "spraying" doesn't make it any less "peeing" in his pants :-) )
If you have to trick him or distract him, I'd take that as a message that peeing in the toilet consistently isn't very important to *him*
------He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!------
It isn't only 2.5yo who don't like to be nagged or interrupted or otherwise bugged when they're busy doing something else, something more important than whatever it is the person nagging them wants them to do.
Allow him his own agenda instead of yours.
-------I've been thinking I could get my 4 year to remind him, since he copies everything she does.------
Hmmmm....think that through a bit more.....Your four year old didn't decide to have a baby; I wouldn't lay any of his care on her as a responsibility. Don't ask her to do the nagging that you're not being successful with. What happens if he still pees in his pants after she reminds him to use the toilet? She might feel responsible, especially if she realizes how troubled you are by all of this. Let her be his sister, not his little mom.
Look at your son and what he's communicating to you by peeing in his pants. Don't ignore what he's "saying;" ask yourself: is it more important to have a toileting, non-disposable-diaper-wearing toddler or to support your real son where he is in life right now?
Also, it is very common for children to do something fully and then not do that thing again, or not do it consistently, the same way for some time--back-and-forth, doing "it" and not doing "it.". This dance is a perfect example of what natural, non-coereced learning looks like, and you'll likely see it with many other things.
Brie
Is it more important to be a paperless household than to have a son who feels comfortable and confident?
The ecological benefits of cloth diapers are negligible when you take into consideration the water and electricity used to wash cloth diapers (go to page 129: http://tinyurl.com/73osoez), although in any case, there are cloth pull-ups that have a layer of PLU sewn-in to keep the rest of the clothing dry.
----He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!-----
2.5 is incredibly young, especially for a boy, to be even slightly aware of when he needs to use the bathroom most of the time.
------He has been fighting my reminders lately, so I guess I'm looking for games or
tricks to distract him into using the toilet. ------
Why is it so important that he use the toilet? Why not let him use pull-ups until you can see that he is *really* ready to not use diapers (he's showing you he isn't ready to use the toilet consistently, stress-free by peeing in his pants. Calling it "spraying" doesn't make it any less "peeing" in his pants :-) )
If you have to trick him or distract him, I'd take that as a message that peeing in the toilet consistently isn't very important to *him*
------He's 2.5, so he does love to say no to my reminders!------
It isn't only 2.5yo who don't like to be nagged or interrupted or otherwise bugged when they're busy doing something else, something more important than whatever it is the person nagging them wants them to do.
Allow him his own agenda instead of yours.
-------I've been thinking I could get my 4 year to remind him, since he copies everything she does.------
Hmmmm....think that through a bit more.....Your four year old didn't decide to have a baby; I wouldn't lay any of his care on her as a responsibility. Don't ask her to do the nagging that you're not being successful with. What happens if he still pees in his pants after she reminds him to use the toilet? She might feel responsible, especially if she realizes how troubled you are by all of this. Let her be his sister, not his little mom.
Look at your son and what he's communicating to you by peeing in his pants. Don't ignore what he's "saying;" ask yourself: is it more important to have a toileting, non-disposable-diaper-wearing toddler or to support your real son where he is in life right now?
Also, it is very common for children to do something fully and then not do that thing again, or not do it consistently, the same way for some time--back-and-forth, doing "it" and not doing "it.". This dance is a perfect example of what natural, non-coereced learning looks like, and you'll likely see it with many other things.
Brie
Andrea Catalano
I keep a little potty in the room the kids are playing in for them to use if/when the are too busy to get to the toilet. My 4 year old uses it a lot.
Andrea
Andrea
Kris
When my daughter first began learning the toilet routine she worried about
being out and having an accident. I took extra clothes but it was the
accident that bothered her. I offered to buy "special underwear" (pull ups
or whatever they're labeled). I explained that they were a lot like
underwear but they wouldn't leak if she forgot. She tested them once and I
think it was just knowing she was "covered" because she never needed them
again and soon switch back to regular underwear.
My son cared a lot less about his clothes being wet and I just carried
several changes of clothes when we went out. I would have done the special
underwear for him too but he didn't want them. He eventually learned the
toilet routine as well, no rules or pressure from me was needed. :)
Kris
being out and having an accident. I took extra clothes but it was the
accident that bothered her. I offered to buy "special underwear" (pull ups
or whatever they're labeled). I explained that they were a lot like
underwear but they wouldn't leak if she forgot. She tested them once and I
think it was just knowing she was "covered" because she never needed them
again and soon switch back to regular underwear.
My son cared a lot less about his clothes being wet and I just carried
several changes of clothes when we went out. I would have done the special
underwear for him too but he didn't want them. He eventually learned the
toilet routine as well, no rules or pressure from me was needed. :)
Kris
On Mon, May 21, 2012 at 4:49 AM, Julie <matisse22@...> wrote:
> but I really don't want to put him on a schedule with rules
> like "you pee before going outside," but I have no idea what else to do
> here. I have no issues with him when we are out in the world, I just tell
> him I need to go pee, and he usually just starts pulling down his pants to
> go before I go. But at home he doesn't go to the toilet until he sprays
> himself, after a few months of being totally dry.
>
--
�We all question our place in the future. The artist�s job is not to
succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
You have a clear and lively voice. Don�t be such a defeatist.� Gertrude
Stein, Midnight In Paris
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn Sharkey
We have a similar situation so I will share what we do.
My son is 2y and 3m. We've been doing ec (elimination communication) since he was 13wks, with breaks when developmental spurts meant he wasn't up for it.
at home he is very reliable at using the toilet with insert, or potty (we have several around so he has options). If he wees on the floor or in his pants we just clean it up.
But when we go out he's too busy so we use pull ups and he sometimes asks to use a toilet but mostly goes in the nappy. I also put him in a nappy once he falls asleep for the night, though he often wakes up dry and goes to wee so we reuse that nappy for the morning trip out.
We don't generally go far from home after his nap so then I'd use a washable training pant os just trousers (with spares in my bag).
He occasionally asks to wear a nappy at home, or sometimes to go out without. I honor these requests where possible (I might request he wear one but would not insist)
So we use one or sometimes two disposables a day, but ds has options. he will outgrow nappies at his pace. I think preassuring him might lengthen the process rather than help. I like that he can choose.
My son is 2y and 3m. We've been doing ec (elimination communication) since he was 13wks, with breaks when developmental spurts meant he wasn't up for it.
at home he is very reliable at using the toilet with insert, or potty (we have several around so he has options). If he wees on the floor or in his pants we just clean it up.
But when we go out he's too busy so we use pull ups and he sometimes asks to use a toilet but mostly goes in the nappy. I also put him in a nappy once he falls asleep for the night, though he often wakes up dry and goes to wee so we reuse that nappy for the morning trip out.
We don't generally go far from home after his nap so then I'd use a washable training pant os just trousers (with spares in my bag).
He occasionally asks to wear a nappy at home, or sometimes to go out without. I honor these requests where possible (I might request he wear one but would not insist)
So we use one or sometimes two disposables a day, but ds has options. he will outgrow nappies at his pace. I think preassuring him might lengthen the process rather than help. I like that he can choose.
keetry
==If you're avoiding paper pull-ups, you can get cloth ones easily enough.==
I got these: http://getantsy.com/
Alysia
I got these: http://getantsy.com/
Alysia
Bea
====
I practiced Elimination Communication since birth (holding baby on top of the potty when you see cues that they need to go) with my two daughters (I also used cloth diapers just in case I missed the cues.) My first daughter was diaper free at 20 months, and although there were accidents here and there it was never much of an issue. With the second daughter, at around 23 months she was well on her way to using the potty every time, and then seemingly overnight she refused to sit on the potty or the toilet.
It was turning into battles, and constant accidents were causing me to be stressed out. So I decided to let it go entirely. I put her back in diapers. Paper diapers, because I didn't have cloth diapers that fit a 2 year old.
Then just before she turned 3 years old we went to Chile. It was summer there so she was outside a lot. I didn't put diapers on her and she'd ask me to put one on her when she needed one (this had started a little bit when we were home too.) And by the end of the 2-week stay she was going potty outside (we were in the countryside) every time she had to go. When we got back home she told me she needed to pee and I asked her if she wanted to do it in the diaper or in the toilet. She said the toilet. And that was pretty much that. She had a few accidents at the beginning, but none in the past 2 months or so. And now she even goes to the toilet on her own, without my help.
My point being: I let go of the issue entirely for a whole year and then magically, ta-da! she's potty trained! No stress, no battles. (The way I figure, a year of paper diapers is well worth a stress-free year!)
Bea
>=====
> He started waking dry from naps at 16 months, so I started potty learning
> with him (letting him run around naked for 10-15 minutes every morning). By
> 19 months, he started taking himself to the toilet consistently. By 21
> months, he was at the 99% rate of success while naked and he night trained.
> I decided to put him in trainers, and he had a few days of bad accidents.
> Occasionally he would spray his pants, but he was mostly dry. Flash forward
> a few months, and that awful two year old distraction thing has taken over.
I practiced Elimination Communication since birth (holding baby on top of the potty when you see cues that they need to go) with my two daughters (I also used cloth diapers just in case I missed the cues.) My first daughter was diaper free at 20 months, and although there were accidents here and there it was never much of an issue. With the second daughter, at around 23 months she was well on her way to using the potty every time, and then seemingly overnight she refused to sit on the potty or the toilet.
It was turning into battles, and constant accidents were causing me to be stressed out. So I decided to let it go entirely. I put her back in diapers. Paper diapers, because I didn't have cloth diapers that fit a 2 year old.
Then just before she turned 3 years old we went to Chile. It was summer there so she was outside a lot. I didn't put diapers on her and she'd ask me to put one on her when she needed one (this had started a little bit when we were home too.) And by the end of the 2-week stay she was going potty outside (we were in the countryside) every time she had to go. When we got back home she told me she needed to pee and I asked her if she wanted to do it in the diaper or in the toilet. She said the toilet. And that was pretty much that. She had a few accidents at the beginning, but none in the past 2 months or so. And now she even goes to the toilet on her own, without my help.
My point being: I let go of the issue entirely for a whole year and then magically, ta-da! she's potty trained! No stress, no battles. (The way I figure, a year of paper diapers is well worth a stress-free year!)
Bea